Here's the next chapter! Enjoy! I do not own Mockingjay.

Ch. 24

One step, and another, then another. I walk closer and closer to my test. I'm not sure what will happen or even how they'll test me, but I do know that it could break me. It broke Johanna; it put her back in the hospital. Oh how scared I am, frightened that the monster will take over, scared that I won't ever be me again.

Haymitch walks beside me and doesn't speak. He doesn't know either, but he says Coin wasn't very reluctant like they thought she would be. I'm as surprised as he is, but I'm glad she's letting me try to pass this test. He says I only have one chance or it will be too late, so I hope with all myself that I can control the monster today.

The room I walk into is dark. There is one light, suspended over an empty chair that sits in front of a large screen. I take the ten steps to reach it and with out even questioning it I sit down. The Gamemaker from the meeting a couple weeks back walks into the room, a Capitol looking lady walks beside him.

"Hello Peeta, I'm not sure if you remember me. I'm Plutarch Heavensbee; I've been on the rebels' side this whole time. Coin asked me to run your test because we have a lot of footage of Katniss. Our main concern for you is that you'll go off because of something Katniss might do, so were going to test that. Just sit back and watch." He leaves with the woman following close behind him. I watch as Haymitch follows after them and closes the door behind him. I was completely alone and in all honesty I don't think I'd ever been more afraid.

The screen blinks on, for just a few seconds it's static and then I see her. Walking her face full of something close to happiness, but at the same time far from it. The footage isn't the best, but I can still see her face as it goes through multitudes of emotions. Hope, happiness, sadness, regret, joy. They all flash across her face in a matter of seconds.

That's when I notice the familiarity of the hallways. She's in the hospital wing of District Thirteen; it's not the best footage because it's off the security cameras. I realize for the first time that I actually see something of beauty in her. Her grey eyes don't bring down the room, but brighten it up. Her brown hair that lies all in a braid at her shoulder is so deep and beautifully real that I couldn't imagine a prettier color of hair.

I start to question when I stopped fearing her and began to see her this way. I still don't care for her; after all I can still feel how she affected me. Even if I can't really remember it first hand, I know what she did. And some things I really couldn't be sure about. Like was it really all her fault that District Twelve is no more? And did she really not care for me in the first Games? It was all too confusing and scary as I watched her take the first steps into my hospital room.

I see her face when she first sees me. Somehow Plutarch zoomed in on her face and time seemed to slow down. She looks in love. It's not the way that my father looked at my mother or how I saw some boys look at the girls at school, but I knew in my heart that it is the face of somebody in love.

The camera switches and I see me running towards her and it switches again and I see as my hands begin to take the life away from the powerless girl. I hate myself for doing this to her. I hate the Capitol for making me believe it was the right thing to do. I hate this world for being so cruel. But the thing I hate the most, is that part of me wanted the girl on the screen to die.

I stand up closer to the screen before I can stop my body from doing it. I'm screaming words that I can't stop from my mouth and pounding the screen before me and a little part in me is screaming that I've failed, that I can't go, that I'm done with.

The screen goes black and I fall to the ground, sobs rack my body uncontrollably as I let it happen. As if I could stop it if I tried. I felt helpless to my own body and the thoughts that went through my head. I felt like I was a spectator looking into my mind without being able to say anything.

I was blind and deaf and speechless to myself and it was scary. I see why people are afraid of me and why Haymitch was almost sure that I wouldn't be able to go fight. If I couldn't watch a simple thirty-second video, then how was I supposed to fight, shoot a gun; be strong for the right people. I knew there was no way I was going to be able to go to the Capitol and I knew there was no way I was going to become me again.

All those things people have been telling me, that I was becoming me again, that they could see him coming back, they were all lies. Too much hope when there was no hope available. I didn't know what to do or to think and I just wanted to keep on crying because that's the best thing I could think of doing.

And then I heard it, the firm steps of someone that knew their place. It could only be President Coin, the only person in this whole District that seemed to be secure in herself.

"Peeta, get up." It was only the sureness in her voice that brought me to my feet, but even that could not stop the tears. "There was an accident on the battle field. We need another soldier. You're our guy. You're hovercraft leaves in an hour. Go. Prepare yourself."

I'm going to be honest with you guys, this wasn't the original outline I had for this chapter, but I feel this is better. Peeta is still like a Mutt when he's in the Capitol and I feel like he had to break again...So this chapter happened! Also since I haven't posted since Saturday (so so so so so so so so sorry) I would like to say that I'm SOOOOOOO HAPPY FOR JEN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I LOVE HER! Also have you heard that Lionsgate is releasing something on March 4th? AAAAAAA!

Okay, sorry. Don't forget to REVIEW on the way out! Thanks! ~boywithbreadlover

P.S. I'm really sorry, but I've been so busy and it's only gonna be busy some more. Don't expect a post for like three days...