You may change,

you will grow and become a different you.

I know in your heart, you are still the same person I came to love.

With the same heart I cared for in the beginning,

skin I loved to touch and hold;

you are still the one and only for me even in the worse of times.

I promise to love you and care for you ,

till you tell me to give you up.

I shall never flee from your worse times,

run during your last hours or give up when you have no hope.

I love you is only three letters,

its strong enough to rule a kingdom and end lives.

Love may be evil, but pleasure...

is forever in our favor...

I could hear a soft snore filling the room causing me to stir softly from my slumber. The soft warmth of the person vibrated onto my skin, they were laying beside me on the bed, in a sleeping trance. Their warmth made my skin prick and chilled skin become slightly warm; it was comforting to me.

I snuggled into the pillow and inhaled deeply taking in the scent; they were warm and sweet like honey but spicy for interest. The bed moved slightly causing my lashes to stir and light to slowly touch my orbs, it bothered me slightly from the change in brightness.

One of my hands flopped softly into the large bush of hair, my fingers moved and massaged the scalp, a deep sigh caused a smile to brighten my face. " Rukia" I heard him moan softly and crack open an eye. A hand grabbed mine and gave it a gentle squeeze.

" Good Morning", my voice whisked softly passed my cracked lips. I looked down to Ichigo as his head rested on one of his arms and a hand on mine. His face held some dark circles from lack of sleep and the stubble's were slowly reappearing. " You look like shit" I spat causing him to scowl slightly.

" Blunt as hell-"

" I may be weak but doesn't mean I won't insult the shit out of you", I interrupted. Ichigo sighed and rolled his eyes before looking towards the machines behind me. " I'm fine, Strawberry. Stop worrying about me".

He was silent but his eyes wrote the message of worry for me. There was nothing to worry about, I was fine and feeling like shit -but that usual. " Easy for you to say, I've been here for two weeks waiting for sleeping beauty to wake up" he grimed.

" I was asleep for two weeks?" he nodded slowly while putting his attention back on me. " What'd I miss then?"

I went to sit up but he stopped me and laid me back on my side. " Don't even think about it. They removed a tumor near your spine, if you open the stitches... it won't be good" his hand rested on my back and moved up to my shoulder. I wanted to sit up and stretch, my shoulder was stiff and back sore from the surgery.

The door opened slowly making Ichigo look over and stare at my visitor. " Is she awake?" a sweet voice whispered followed by the sound of heels. Mashiro was probably coming to check-up on me and see if I was awake since it had been two weeks. I can't believe I was asleep for that long, its new to me but I did have surgery around my spine so my body was worn out.

" Either my brother is a Drag-Queen or Kuna-chan has come to visit me" Ichigo chuckled and a growl filled the room from a nearby corner. Probably my brother sitting away from the Berry and watching me. " Nii-sama, so nice of you to make a sound~" I sang.

He groaned and cupped his face in frustration. He hated when I spoke with a high-pitched voice and snarky comments. " Would have said something but I was being generous for the lost Romeo at your side" I looked at Ichigo who held a blush of embarrassment.

" Well, at least we don't have to hear him worry now-" a feminine voice chirped.

" I did not!" Ichigo exclaimed causing my head to throb softly.

" ' Oh Byakuya, when's she gonna wake up! I'm getting worried that somethings wrong! Maybe the surgeons didn't know what they were doing-' " my brother mimicked with a high tone.

" Shut up" I groaned as I held my head. Pounding filled my ears and I leaned back into the pillow, headaches seemed to always be worse during chemo for some reason, they felt like hundreds of tiny drummers pounding on my brain at different times.

The room went quiet as everyone and eyes went darted towards me. " Maybe we should let her rest " Mashiro said quietly, Byakuya nodded and stood from his seat. Both headed towards the door in silence, but it didn't matter if they were silent, my head was still pounding.

" Koursaki" my brother spoke to the man at my side. I held his large hand tightly, he wasn't to leave, there was a bubbling fear in my throat think he would leave and never come back. Maybe the medication was making it worse, but either way I still wanted him in my sights for my comfort. " Rukia, he's not going anywhere" Byakuya reassured me.

I shook my head softly in denial. " I know... but I don't want to be alone in this room" in general the hospital was quiet (too quiet for my liking) having someone there made it seem less like an asylum and more like a hospital. Besides... I wanted someone to talk to.

My brother never bothered to argue with me when I was going through chemo, the medication made me more sensitive and easily angered. Before I would scream at him and start to cry over nothing, I didn't want him to see that again.

" Alright, if you need something we're outside for you" I nodded as he left the room.

The room went silent when the door clicked, leaving us alone in the white noise of the machines reading my heart and the walls of silence. At first I felt the urge to talk but there wasn't any words that sprung to my lips for the moment.

As I leaned deeper into my pillow and closed my eyes, I focused on the strong hand holding mine, the soft heart-beat of his running through my viens. The silent seemed more like a thick blanket of comfort and harmony, there wasn't a worry or argument breaking the clear air.

I opened my eyes slowly and looked over Ichigo who was silently staring at my hand, thumb rubbing the white skin and the chilled fingers. A smile were graced with a weak smile as I observed him; the rough beard and baggy eyes showed worry for me. My eyes traveled down his body and stopped when I noticed the thick book sitting on his knee.

The leather mocked my orbs while the pages laughed at my presence. I hadn't defeated my enemy, it was defeating me rather slowly.

" Where'd you get that?" my dry lips cracked, he looked over in question and shook his head. The Baka didn't know what I was talking about. "... My dairy... where'd you get it?" my breath was raspy as my heart raced at the sight of the book, it held all my dark and vulnerable emotions, things I hid from the world and from others.

Ichigo clued in and looked down at the leather cover with curious eyes, I knew from the look that he read every page and word, there wasn't anything that I could hide from him now. He knows everything about me and the person I was during my cancer treatment.

" Your brother tossed at me when he came over and beat the crap out of me for hurting you", in my head I was cursing my fool of a brother and his lack of privacy.

" You read... everything" I whispered under my breath.

" Rukia, it's not that bad there no need to get upset-" he tried but there wasn't anything but hurt whispering in my ear.

" That's my vulnerability and soul. Every page has something that I didn't show and didn't say to someone, because I wanted to keep it a secret. Nobody was to see them" I interrupted.

Ichigo grew silent and placed the book on the bed causing my eyes to whip towards the cover. " Each word and page helped me find the man I want to be for you..." I held my breath while my hand crept towards the cover.

My figured tickled the leather " When you want to get started?" I asked.

" What do you mean?" he crocked.

" You told me before we started dating that you'd finish my bucket list. When are you going to start the next list number?" one of his famous lazy smiles covered his lips while he leaned back into his chair, an arm draped over the chair as his eyes traveled over my body.

" Depends" he simply answered.

" On?"

" You"

I leaned back into the bed and looked up to the plain ceiling letting the white burn my eyes. " If everything depended on me there'd never be any progress in this world" I heard him chuckle.

" How about after all this chemotherapy is over, I marry you" the monitor went crazy as my eyes widened and blush covered my cheeks.

" I-Ichigo are you out of you mind?" the blush burned my skin and my heart raced faster than I thought it could. Marriage was something that I never thought about yet, while this far into the relationship with Ichigo, but I have to remember what I told him when we talked about it on the list. " If no one will marry you, then I will" his voice whispered in my ear.

One of his fingers traced my wedding finger in circles while his eyes focused on his movements. " I can buy you a nice ring and we can plan the wedding while you're in the hospital-"

" That's insane though. I'm out of it in here" excuses seemed to pop out of my mouth every minute but that was my embarrassment talking on its own.

" You seem perfectly fine now, besides if you start saying you want unicorns and fairies at the wedding, I'll get your brother to help me plan it-"

" You don't even have his approval" he shrugged.

" So? You're a grown woman and he's fine with me now-"

" Because I told him to be nice and not cause me stress while I was in the hospital" I corrected him.

" Well... while he's in his 'nice-guy' mode I'll ask and he'll have to say yes to me", where was this coming from all of a sudden? Marriage? Was he just jumping to it because he didn't know how long he would have me? Perhaps this is just a dream. Yes, it hast to be a dream. My Ichigo would never jump into marriage, right?

The room went silent again and I held my breath softly while my heart began to calm. I repeated the word: marriage, over and over in my head letting it sink in and tattoo into my nerves. By the time he opened his mouth to speak again marriage seemed like a lullaby and was putting me to sleep.

" Okay, I'll marry you. But, if you're going to ask me... ask after Rangiku's wedding" I yawned, with a hand I covered his and smiled softly was my eyes grew heavy. " Koursaki Rukia, sounds perfect to me".

He smiled as he stood from his seat and kissed my lips softly, they were softer than I remembered and sweet like candy. I never thought chemotherapy would could make a kiss so... desired.

A hand caressed my cheek and another held my own to the sheets. The kiss seemed to grow devilish and hungry as our lips moved as one, it seemed like a sin. But sins were always so sweet and against the rules that you had to enjoy them.

My hand released his and ran through his orange locks, letting them tangle in the bright mess while craning my neck to have my lips closer to his and bodies put together like a puzzle. As the pleasure grew I went to lay on my back but he stopped me with one of his large hands.

We pulled apart with our eyes lingering in one another and lips craving each other. " Not here, I'm not doing this here" he told me. I nodded in agreement and leaned my head into his chest, eyes fluttered shut as he sat on the edge of the mattress with me in his arms.

I nearly forgot how much I really craved him and wanted his touch. It was like my personal drug that the law would curse me for, something I couldn't let go or wouldn't sober. I was hooked like a fish.

He kissed my hair and sighed as he looked over the room, probably wondering how many days he would be stuck here, waiting for the new of my cancer being gone.

But there was only time that would tell, what my future would be like for me and Ichigo.

After a few minutes I had fallen asleep and when I awakened.. Ichigo was gone and my brother sat with a pen and my journal. " Well... nice to see you remember the old days" I grumbled. He smirked with his charming lips and flipped the pages with two slender fingers letting the old ink skim through his mind.

" So many pages I wrote, but yet, our writing is still the same" I huffed softly and pulled the covers over my body. I and my brother had the same writing, expect for one little thing, the R's and Y's. My R's were dominate and y's soft with feminine touch, but his were both soft and perfect.

" This going to be the same thing as last time, brother?" he sighed and wrote down the date on one of the pages, letting the sound of the pen echoed my ears.

" Where shall we begin?" he asked with a passive tone almost like a therapist.

I thought for a moment before looking at the pen " Today was different from the others. I woke to find myself back in the same dungeon I escaped five-years ago. Leukemia seemed to come back from the grave" it was like this during the beginning of my years in the hospital. I would tell him what to write and the pen did the talking for him. My brother never stopped and asked about the meaning... he just wrote and left it at that.

When I noticed the pen wasn't moving I continued. " Instead of seeing my brother by my side, someone new was there... someone I thought would have run away by now. This person used to make my life hell and made me hate myself for being what I am; but now he makes me feel something that I never felt before. Happiness. Who would have thought a girl with leukemia would find happiness?" my brother was silent as I thought about Ichigo and what he had grown into. From a violent bully with hateful thoughts and words, to my one and only that I can't live with out. He would curse and make me cry, but now he made me smile and want to live.

" He asked me a question... something that I thought about be asked if I were out of the hospital. But when you're with a surgeon, there nothing you can't expect, especially with someone like Koursaki Ichigo. I won't tell you what he asked me just yet, but some day... I will live that thought I once wrote in my bucket list. Who would have thought that I could have a James Carter like Jamie Slovene in Walk to Remember" my heart skipped slightly as my brother wrote more and more until the page was filled.

He placed the pen down handed the book to me, I glanced over the page and nodded in approval. " Today was better than I thought it would be" he admitted. I looked over with a curious look; what exactly did he mean?

" You thought it was going to be like the first time?" my first time in chemo wasn't the best. I was seeing ponies and panada's because of the medicines. I would scream and cry for no reasons, also I would make up the worse entries ever.

" Yeah... I thought I would have to write about Pookie the walking Cookie" I couldn't help but laugh at the old things I saw back then, it was something I thought I would never think about. The expressions my brother made back then about my entries was amusing and weird to me then.

" Things change, Bya-nii" I reminded him.

He smiled softly " They sure do".

Hey everyone, I know the chapter is short, but this is about the length they will be with the chemo cause there isn't much to say in a hospital. For now we will be seeing the main making of Rukia's journal and whats going on in her head, in a more moving thought. We shall see how she feels about Ichigo and her brother thoughtout these chapters. I rewrote this chapter five times to play around with the POV, that's why is took so long.

Hopefully, I can write these more and update faster cause they make me happy.

The Question I have for all of you is: How many chemo chapters would you like to read? What would you like to see happen and why?

Love Bleachlover2346! Happy Family Day!