We arrived back in England on the 12th July, just shy of 6 weeks from the day we left. They had trucks waiting to take us back to Aldbourne. I was hoping all the way back that I was going to move straight back into the cottage. Jenny had been on the transport ship on the way back with Dog Company and boy had she changed. She smoked and was so much more confident. Barking orders at the patients and much to my surprise had even learnt to swear (much to my amusement). The lower deck of the ship had been set aside for the wounded. Jenny had been treating one of her guys whilst trying to keep an eye of several others. "Private Woodson, if you do not sit you bee-hind back down on that bed, I swear to Almighty Jesus himself, I will dope you up so much you won't even know you own goddamn name!" I was shocked and suprised. I had only never heard Jenny say that Bill was an ass let alone threaten a man twice her size. "Lieutenant Carter!" I waited for her to spot me at the door. "What? Can you not see that I'm busy?" After I stood there tapping my foot, she turned around. Her face dropped and before I knew it I was enveloped long awaited and much needed hug. "Y'all not know how much I have waited to see you." It was more of a curse than anything else. Promising me that she would find me once we arrived in England she went back to her patients. Spinning on her heels she spotted the two privates trying to sneak out for a cigarette. "Now if y'all wanna be limping for the next week, I would suggest y'all get back to your beds gentlemen!"
Arriving back in Aldbourne, we got the news we were hoping for and the thre of us were back in our little cottage. It was so nice to come back to our home from home . The cake shop and the bakery in the high street permeated the most wonderful smells. It a second as as though we had never left and the horrors of what lay on the other side of the English Channel were a bad dream. But when someone that you knew wasn't around or their name was read out by mistake or their belongings were still in their room; it hit you hard right in the guy. They weren't coming back.
Once again the people of Aldbourne opened their homes, lives and hearts to us. Colonel Sink had instructed that everyone was to have a week's leave. The minute the trucks were ready to take people to the train station, Aldbourne reverted back the quiet, quaint little English village that it has once been before we had arrived. I headed to London like so many of the Battalion had done. It was a nice place to escape. The bright lights took your mind off the darkness and torment that would creep back in if you stood still for too long. I had memories of bright lights and of places to go that weren't there. After a few attempts of trying to find things that I thought I remembered, I gave up dragging Jenny around with me. Sophia had headed in with a few of the Able Company guys that she worked with. Jenny had only stayed 3 days in London and then headed back to Aldbourne. The V1 Flakzielgerätor the 'Doodlebug', Hitler's secret weapon was terorrising London and Jenny didn't like the idea of constantly being on alert when she was on leave. "Dam it Betty, can that small horrible little Kraut not leave me the hell alone for one god-dam week? I would rather go back to France than stay here!" I knew how she felt. The whole idea of coming to London was to get away from the war; to relax and have some fun. But with what London was going through at the time, we should be so lucky to even have one day without the sirens going off.
Whilst being back in Aldbourne was a paradise compared to France, there was still work to do. There were kit checks and re-issues, PT and sports. Then there were the medical reviews and the check-ups of those that had been injured and then released and then there was the one thing no one wanted mention, the memorial services. I cried at every single one. In some ways being a medic was the best and worst job of the war. I was there to save them and it is the best feeling ever when you know that someone will live to fight another day or better still make it home safely, albeit without a leg but at the same time it sometimes works out that I'm the one that can't save them. But I should be able to save them, it's my job! The same thing flew round my head when I ripped off another ID disc. Some medics only remember the ones that they saved, whereas me, I'm the kind of person who only remembers those that don't make it, more so if they die in my hands.
After each service I would wait until the very end, even after Father Maloney had left and then I would ask forgiveness for the passing of each of the boys that died in my hands. I had done it every day since we had come home. I prayed that God didn't think me a lesser person for not being able to save them and that he thought even lesser of the Germans for killing them in the first place. I remembered my father telling me that if I did not come to peace early enough with my demons, they would follow me through my time in the army, then by the end of it they would have conquered me.
"You know it is not your fault that those guys are dead?" I didn't have open my eyes to know who it was and I was happy that he was there. "Isn't it? I could have saved them; I should have saved them; it's my job to save them. I had just needed a little more time." I shouted! My outburst shocked me more than it did him. He had seen me fight with my brothers and then there was the odd "difference of opinion" that we had had, so this was nothing new. "I SHOULD HAVE SAVED THEM. DAM IT BILL, IT IS MY JOB!" I shook with anger and sorrow. "I should have saved them!" I cried. I didn't see him stand up from the pew at the back of the church, but the moment his arms wrapped around my shoulders, helping me to stand and face the demons that tried to control me. "Why are you so angry? Huh? You did not kill 'em. You did everything dat you could wit what you had." I couldn't bear to look at him. Why was I so upset? Because I feel guilty. There I had admitted it. Even thought it was in my head, it was still loud enough for Him to hear it. "Betty, look at me?" I refused at first. My face was a red and streakedwith tears. "Bee, please?" I lifted my chin, my eyes focusing on a button on his uniform. "I know dat you feel bad that you couldn't save the ones that died but think of all the ones that you did save? Huh? Tipper and Blithe wouldn't be around if it weren't for you! Don't think of all the guys that didn't make it Bee, but think of the ones who are in hospital or the ones that are still with us because you saved 'em." He was right, but the guilt felt too much. "The guys dat died wouldn't want you, stood here hollering at me or God for their deaths. As long as you keep the promises you make to 'em, then God will not think any better or worse of you." He knew me so well and even after everything that had happened between us before we had left for France, we was still there for me. Handing me his handkerchief, I wiped my eyes. There would be people coming back in for prayers and communion. He kissed the top of my head and then ruffled my hair as he used to do when we were kids and left me to my thoughts. I knew I needed to be strong. If I wasn't then it would be noticed and someone somewhere down the line would think that it would be a very good excuse to send me home. "Hey Bill?" He turned around before he left the chapel. "Yea Bee?" "Thanks." He waved as he left. There had been no need to thank him. He was my best friend and whilst he wasn't blood he was closest I was going to have to family.
The sound of music filled the front living room as I unlocked the front door. With Sophia still away on leave, it was just Jenny and I in the house. I was frozen in shock at the sight that was before me when I walked into the cottage. There in our living room was Jennifer and four officers from Dog Company. "Betty!" It was evidently clear that they were all well on their way to being drunk. The empty bottle of whiskey told me that. "Jelly Bean? You having a little party?" Jenny swayed over to the door way. Her footsteps carefully placed so not to trip over her own shadow. "I hope you don't mind that I invited a few of the boys over!" I was amazed. Her transformation in the last six weeks was astronomical. I took hold of Jenny by the shoulders. There was something different in her eyes. She was stronger, that much was clear, but there was anger in her eyes, an anger that hadn't been there before even if she plastered a smile on her face. The fear that had once crippled her on the beach was gone.
"Who the hell are you and what have you done with the really Jennifer Carter that I know and love?" She just smiled at me. Jenny was still there but buried deep in the subconscious.
"I grew up Betty Mae!" Jenny whispered in a slight slur. "I can see that Jelly Bean," I didn't know whether I should have been worried or relieved that she was now drinking and smoked almost as much as I did. "You have fun now, I'm heading to bed." I dragged myself up the stairs. Changing for bed was about as much energy as I could muster. Pulling the sheet back, I climbed in. The emotional outburst had completely drained me. I would have cried myself to sleep had I had energy left. As my head touched the pillow; I smiled as I could hear the voices of the strangers, who had been waiting for me.
It is said that dreams are what your conscious mind cannot process, so it saves it and tries to work it through when you're asleep. But the idea of dreaming about songs and people I recognised but have no recollection of the meeting, confused me. Their faces would appear and I would feel comfortable in their presence. The lady who was always there when I woke up was like a mother figure. She always seemed to be so pleased to see me and whilst it took her a time to understand that my name was Elizabeth, she was still pleased to see me none the less. The strangely familiar things in my room would baffle me. But somehow I would always be able to find music. The lady said that I had always enjoyed listening to all sort of music. I would lie back on the huge bed and watch the patterns on the ceiling change with the light. The unusual songs with their strange music would float around the room, keeping me company when the lady had gone. The tune almost familiar as though from a distant memory, but the words completely new to me and yet it was the same thing every time I woke up, their faces would disappear but the songs would stay. "I don't need a parachute, Baby when I've got you."
With six new officers now part of Easy and a lot of the Toccoa men promoted to Corporal and above, the field exercises started to show the replacements what was expected of them, which included the new medics we had in. Whilst it wasn't normally on the agenda, the first place I took them was the local military hospital. It hadn't been my intention to scare them; I wanted to give them some idea of what they would be facing.
I had the experience of Pearl Harbour and the mind numbing flash backs to prepare me for what I was going to face on D-Day and whilst at the time I wished I didn't have them, I knew having them had prepared me for the better. In France, I had learnt quickly that not everyone selected to be a medic was cut out to be one. The slightest sight of blood can turn a man from a gallant hero to a gibbering wreck depending on the circumstances. I had left the introduction of the Battalion's new medics in the capable hands of Eugene Roe and Spina, as I had been summoned to the Company CO's office.
I waited outside the CO's office as the door was closed, which wasn't very often. This had to mean that there was someone senior in there with him. Come on Dick, get a move on! The door opened and out walked Pte Smyth, Lt. Colonel Strayer's new runner. Saluting me he just carried on about his business.
"Lieutenant Reedman." I answered my summons. So many thoughts were running round my head. Where they going to send me home now that they realised they couldn't use me on the next mission. Had they found out about Joe and I? Were they going to promote me? Were they going to demote me? I had no idea.
I marched in, halted and saluted to no one in particular as Dick, Lewis and Colonel Strayer were stood around the drinks decanter. Dick was holding a glass of water whilst Lewis had a generous measure of whiskey. "Lieutenant, Captain Nixon tells me that you like Bourbon." I was a little shocked by the informality of the conversation. "Yes sir I do" "Good! Grab yourself a glass." I did as I was instructed. A slight smile of Dick and a wink from Lewis told me that this wasn't going to be bad meeting.
"Now, I going to cut to the chase of it Lieutenant, we're sending you away." I almost choked on thin air. "Sir?" I looked at my superiors, trying not to sound as panicked as I was feeling.
"Don't worry, we aren't sending you home, just to Hungerford for a few weeks." Strayer started to explain. "Captain Winters and Captain Nixon have made it clear to Colonel Sink and I that if we were to be called forward for another mission, then you would not be able to join us and well frankly I don't like the sound of that." The CO placed his drink on the table. Handing me an envelope he nodded for me to open it. "We are sending you to Chilton Foliate." I stared at the assignment orders in my hand. "Sir, I…" I had no idea what to say. "We have arranged a place on the course for you and seen as you are not infantry by trade then you fit the criteria." I couldn't believe this. Even with all the memories from the future doing through my head…this was unprecedented. This was history being made.
"You'll be the first female to complete parachute training." Col Sink claimed rather proudly. And there it was as bright and clear as pink neon lights in Hollywood. I would be the first female to go through jump training. This is crazy…I will be changing the course of history…this could be bad…but at the same time very very good! "Thank you Sir!" Col Strayer smiled and shook my hand. Dick nodded, he wasn't a man of many words and Lewis had a big grin on his face. " The transport will leave in the morning." I saluted and left. My head was spinning. I have been selected to receive jump training! Me, of all the nurses, medics, doctors they have in the army, they chose ME! I could barely contain myself. Leaving the Headquarters, I headed back to the house.
"I can't believe that you're leaving! We have only just gotten back and they are sending you away again!" Sophia and Jenny both voiced their dislike at this idea. "And why is it that you have been picked to have jump training and we didn't?" I knew that something had changed within Sophia. She had been affected pretty badly by what she had seen. She just wasn't the same anymore. The spark and ferociousness she once had before we left for France was gone. It fuelled my anger towards the entire war. I was angry because it would kill and maim the nicest and sweetest of guys and how it had left one of my best friends scared to even sleep because of the nightmares that haunted her dreams. I hugged both my friends and ensuring them that I would keep my promise and write as frequently as possible. Bill had come to see me off. I hugged him longer then I would have normally, but he had stayed with me in the church and I knew that we were okay again.
"You do us proud kid. No taking BS of them Five O Deuces!" I laughed. The 502nd were based at Chilton and whilst I wouldn't necessarily be mixing with the men, their officers were training the 'non infantry types'. "I'll be alright Bill! Besides I survived growing up with you around didn't I?" I laughed as he scowled at me. I was glad that it was only Bill who had came to say goodbye. I wasn't in the mood for big goodbyes, besides I was going to come back. Well I hope that I'm coming back. It would just be my frigging luck to die on my first jump! I could see the headlines as they scrapped whatever was left of me off the DZ. First female parachutist dies on training jump! Climbing into the jeep, I headed off for Jump School and with an interview with an old acquaintance.