Disclaimer: Obviously, neither I nor my co-writer Valkyrie-chick own NCIS. *sigh* If we did, we would be the richest people on Earth. Sadly, we do not.

To clear up the time frame further, it's set in Season 5 after "Internal Affairs" but set in the present year. That way, we don't have to worry about a particular song existing during the year the fifth season was on.

Song: "Not Counting You" by Garth Brooks.

Chapter Twenty-Five: Not Counting You

DiNozzo downed another shot and set the empty glass down. He didn't react when he felt Ziva slide in beside him. The Israeli demanded, "What, you're not going to do anything about that? The Tony I know would—"

He didn't get a chance to find out, because Ziva was suddenly pulled out of the chair with a startled shriek. Abby replaced the Mossad liaison officer. She forced him to look at her as she said, "Like Ziva said, you're not coming back with a snappy comeback? Tony, not counting her, you've never had a bad rap with women—present company excluded."

"Hey!" Ziva protested.

"Oh, come on! Like the rest of us don't see what goes on behind the dark screen in interrogation."

"Uh, Abby, nothing's going—" Tony started, coming out of his stupor. The Goth overrode him.

"So you admit you're going to do something about that"—she waved her hand at Jeanne as if the doctor was a stain on the wall—"instead of sitting here doing nothing."

"It's what I would do," Mike put in.

"No one asked you," Abby retorted. "So butt out, why don't you."

The retired NIS agent did as directed, grumbling with Fornell. Abby could guess what they were talking about: how bossy women could be.

"Do as she says, Tony," Gibbs said. "Otherwise I'll put you on deskwork as soon as we get back to the Navy Yard."

DiNozzo paled. "You wouldn't."

"Try me."

Looking around at the faces of the team, including the fangirls, the senior field agent sighed. "Fine, I'll do it."

Abby, Ziva, and Jenny squealed like teenage girls obsessing over the Twilight series and danced around, holding onto each others' shoulders. Well, actually, they started doing the Conga. (I think that's what it's called. Correct me if I'm wrong.) Much to everyone's amusement, McGee, Palmer, Lee, and the three fangirls—Lynne, Devon, and Eliza—joined in.

"That's not right," Vance muttered.

"I agree," said Slacks.

They were suddenly interrupted by an upbeat country intro.

"Not again," the FBI agent and NCIS Assistant Director groaned.

"When loving turns to parting, I'm always the first to leave
'Cause when it comes to heartaches I'd rather give than to receive
I've never cried myself to sleep just praying I'll get through
I've never lost at love not counting you

Not counting you I've never had a heartache
Not counting you I never have been blue
There's no exception to the rule
I've never been nobody's fool
I've never lost at love not counting you

I've never got down on my knees and asked the Lord above
If He would only bring to me the one I'm dreaming of
Begging to be taken back and swearing I'll be true
Has never crossed my mind not counting you

Not counting you I've never had a heartache
Not counting you I never have been blue
There's no exception to the rule
I've never been nobody's fool
I've never lost at love not counting you"

Confused, McGee looked at Gibbs for clarification. "So, he's saying Jeanne's the only one who's making him think of doing that?"

"I guess you could say that," the coffee-loving sniper replied while Jeanne glowered at DiNozzo onstage. She muttered, "I'm so going to kill him."

"No, you're not," Eliza said in a singsong-y voice.

"There's no exception to the rule
I've never been nobody's fool
I've never lost at love not counting you
No, I've never lost at love not counting you"

"Yep, I'm definitely going to kill him," Jeanne said.

Immediately, Ziva's knife was at her throat. "Touch him," she hissed, "and you're not going to live to see the dawn."

"Ziva, lay off," said Tony as he climbed down. "Otherwise . . ." He let the threat hang in the air.

Both women glared at him and punched him in the arm—hard.

"Ouch! What is it with the women and my arm serving as a punching bag?"

Ignoring the drama, Abby turned to McGeek. She batted her eyelashes—so unlike her—and crooned, "You know, Timmy, it's been a while since you did a solo."

"Noooooo!"

Hope you all enjoyed. I was worried it might be too corny or cheesy. Valkyrie-chick will be writing the next chapter. My next song will be Jenny, Abby, Lee, and Ziva (hopefully) singing "Mamma Mia!" by ABBA. Who doesn't love "Mamma Mia"?