Disclaimer: The characters in this story belong to Rumiko Takahashi, not I. Some characters are from my imagination, but not many. Do not use this story without my permission.
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Courageous Test of Skill! Darling's Impromptu Pilot Exam!
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Days had passed. The week was nearly over, and the mission was near. A Fukujin Navy-grade ship was seen entering the airspace around the Mendo compound in the morning, and already near noon the Mendo workers had coated the bow with the super durable, nigh indestructible Mendo family super metal. Shutaro oversaw the entire process as a foreman. It was through his alien linguistics and basic understanding of the space-age technology that allowed the work to progress. It would surely be finished by the end of the week, when he and the rest of the team would be called to man the ship and take the battle for the Earth's atmosphere all the way to the sun.
"Master Shutaro" a Mendo guard said as he approached his young master, arm still in a sling and cast and his head bandaged from the press war injuries he retained. "We have a call from Miss Lum."
"Place it through" Shutaro ordered. The guard brought over two more guards who carried a phone. Shutaro picked up the phone and held it up to his ear. "This is Mendo Shutaro. Miss Lum, how are you?"
"Hey Mendo!" Ataru greeted, forcing Shutaro to take on a more ugly face. "How're things going over there?"
"Moroboshi!" Shutaro exclaimed. "I didn't expect you to be so close to home on such an important week! Why are you not studying your materials?"
"What're you talking about?" Ataru asked. "I've been rooming with Lum this past week so I could go straight to the source and ask her about while I work." Mendo's face was so very pressed with rage and his hand so tight that he nearly crushed the hard plastic instrument into pieces.
"You've been living with her?" Shutaro lowed. "In her own home?"
"It's nothing new" Ataru said, audibly eating something. "She's been living in my room for...jeez, I've lost count of how long."
"It's fine for her!" Shutaro shouted, trying to defend the glory of Lum's name against the heathen advances of Ataru's own perverted mind. "She doesn't know any better. She's an alien! She's never been properly told about the actual, legally sanctioned boundaries between dating and marriage!" Lum had already joined the conversation at this point, hearing that she was an alien as the first thing.
"Hello, Shutaro" she greeted. Mendo froze right up. "Can I get a status update on our ship?"
"Yes ma'am" Shutaro said, still half-dead. He recovered and turned to the progress which took up an entire hangar. The spaceship was the size of and made in the apparent style of a regular naval warship on earth. It had a bridge that extended up from the main deck, which was offloaded of all its optional equipment like cannons or radars, and a long and narrow front deck where the gravity well device, known as a 'Weller' by Lum, was attached. A huge and strange looking product of Dappya technology scientists, a pump that simulates gravity by changing the relative space and direction of an object as it's moving. With this incredible gravity pump the extra sun could be carried to the furthest reaches of the solar system or flow into a totally void part of space where it would bother no one, and this magnificent unnamed craft was the vehicle that would drag such a cosmic load through the void of space...
"The plating is going excellently" Shutaro reported. "The device has been properly secured as per your translated instructions. I believe we shall have no problem with activating it once my hired technicians finish hooking it up."
"Hired?" Lum asked.
"I called the support of the Dappya-monster union from the market street" Mendo said. "They were glad to help, for a minimal fee, so that they could help end the heatwave. The only consolation for such low pay is that they wanted to design the ship themselves. I can think of nothing-" The phone cut out. Shutaro froze up for a moment, having been cut out in the middle of a very self-important monologue, and looked around. A Dappya-man had tripped over the long phone cord and accidentally unplugged it. Shutaro glared back and clutched the phone so hard it cracked.
"Sorry, Dappya!" the alien said. It went about its regular work at a quick-footed pace while Shutaro struggled against the guards holding him back to draw his sword.
"No inter-species war, master!" the men in black shades said.
"Let me go!" Shutaro demanded. "How dare he? LET ME GO!!!"
Meanwhile, at the Mizunokoji compound, a test was underway. In one of their more high-tech facilities, a G-force simulation under the guise of a family-friendly amusement park ride in testing for their family parks was prepped and ready for its first tester. In entered Tobimaro, whose hair blew even in the windless metallic room. He walked forward, hopped into the carriage and slid down the restraining bar until it was locked tight against his chest. A group of careful technicians were in the operating room along with their esteemed lady of the estate who watched on her son's testing.
"Initiating test" a girl said as the mechanics began to whir. The simulator started with a gentle whir as the long metal arm began spinning around its pivot. The speed gradually increased and Tobimaro felt the full force of his own weight multiplied many times over as the force kept climbing and sealing him to his seat.
"This won't do, will it?" Mrs. Mizunokoji asked.
"Not at all" one girl in blue glasses said. "We're still increasing the force. If it happens all at once his body will be crushed. We need to go slowly."
"Even so" another girl said, "we know that master Tobimaro prefers to do things quickly, and therefore we're accelerating at the fastest safe rate."
"I see" Mrs. Mizunokoji said. She watched her son's face as it was displayed on the monitor fed from the camera that was right beside his face. His skin was rippling and his head was indenting into the space-age cushion material behind it. However, she could see no pain or torture on his face, which only meant that he found no challenge in what he was doing, no purpose or entertaining goal. He was just sitting in a fast-moving chair until someone told him otherwise. "Increase his speed at once!" she commanded sweetly.
"Yes ma'am" the girls said. The forces were climbing ever higher, higher than was necessary and higher than any other test thereto performed. Tobimaro was the first human to endure such levels of gravity, and once the ride was over he fell straight down and moaned sickly on the floor, unable to move.
"Get up son" his mother said over an intercom. "We can't have the press seeing how weak of a constitution you have when it comes to spinning around!" Tobimaro tried desperately to inch himself up but a sick gagging overtook him.
"Watch it!" a girl called. "He's going to vomit!" Tobimaro's throat swelled up and a baseball is what he coughed up. "Oh" the same girl said flatly. "Nevermind, it was just a baseball." She turned to her mistress and covered the microphone. "Just a baseball, ma'am." The veins pulsed out in her head, though her face stayed the same.
"Oh, that foolish son of mine!" she calmly raged. "However will he be able to bring us an honorable reputation on this sun mission if he can't handle a simple little physical evaluation!?"
"Well ma'am" a girl said, "we can still get a good name through one of your children."
"Hmm?" she hummed. A monitor displaying the spin-down process on Asuka shot up. She looked unphased, even though she had endured nearly twice as many Gs as her brother did. She even lifted the harness over he head, hopped down to the floor and regained her balance instantly. She was completely unaffected by the incredible force that was applies against her.
"What?" Mrs. Mizunokoji said in astonishment. "Give her something to test her coordination. She could be dizzy beyond belief and we're just not seeing it!" A girl pressed a button and released a small pendulum that descended from the ceiling. It swung briefly in front of Asuka until she grabbed it and looked at it. She had crushed the five yen that was tied to the string in her mighty grip and remained puzzled.
"Did win something?" she asked, holding up the crushed coin. Her mother was in tears, happy and joyful tears for her daughter's magnanimous success.
Damn she thought. If the results show that Asuka is the more applicable candidate then she'll be the one to go, and if she's alone on a ship with either that Mendo boy or that perverted Moroboshi lad...the consequences will be horrific! She could see it already. The headlines of the world-wide news would read 'Berserk Mizunokoji Girl Ruptures Space Ship Hull, All Crew Dead'. All that guilt would be piled onto Mrs. Mizunokoji's head, as it has been her duty to raise Asuka from her birth away from the world, and not being able to deal with something as simple as a few men would come back in the form of a media flood that would drown her.
Suddenly, a realization struck her. She stood up and approached one of the computer terminals to lean over the girl working it. "Switch the results" she said. The girl looked over her shoulder in shock to see her mistress hovering so close by. "Asuka cannot be permitted on such a dangerous mission, but Tobimaro's test results are unacceptable. Therefore, we must switch the test results, for the good of all mankind!"
"Mankind?" a girl asked.
"Those delusions of grandeur" another girl added "are what you expect from the Mendo house!"
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A lovely cascade of water poured out from the faucet head. The droplets came rushing out and splashed against soft skin and soaked into the flowing, beautiful hair from the alien girl's head. Lum took a soapy hand to her hair and slid the suds along the length of her long and wavy hair as the water kept hitting her and the steam from her shower veiled her covetous body from prying eyes. Her ship was automatically moving on a guided course around the Earth to keep its orbit from decaying. Ataru walked through the ship with nothing to do. He had plenty of books to read and manuals to memorize, but he wasn't going to do them any time soon. He made a short pace past the bathroom where Lum showered as he walked on a random course to find something to do.
"Oh Daaaarliiiing" Lum sang. He lazily turned around and saw steam pouring out from the open door. Lum's fingers seductively wrapped around the edge of the door and she leaned out with an innocent blinking and her hair all tied up in a soapy bun. "Can you come and wash my back, please?"
"No" he said, without hesitation or any kind of humor. Lum huffed at him as he turned. She drew her jaw and fangs back and ducked behind the door once more.
"Daaaaaaarliiiiiiiing" she sang again. Ataru humored her and turned. She was stepping out with a naked, shining wet leg beckoning him over and a slender, curvy silhouette behind the foggy, thick-glass door. Ataru scoffed smugly at her attempts.
"Don't take me for a fool" Ataru said. He stomped forward and pointed an accusatory finger at her. "You're wearing a towel behind that door!" Lum's leg stopped moving. She hovered out, a towel around her body, and huffed with her hands on her hips.
"That doesn't make it less effective!" Lum defended. Ataru just waved the issue away as unimportant, further creasing Lum. "Oh, come on! What kind of man are you?"
"A man who doesn't tempt fate" Ataru said. "I'm gonna take a nap."
"Did you read through your flight-trainer?" she asked skeptically. Ataru, never one to show that he was lying, turned with a goofy smile and bad posture, giggling.
"Yeah I did!" he said. "Why wouldn't I? Of course I did!"
"Liar" Lum said. "Go back and actually read it."
"It's too boring" Ataru whined. "There aren't even any pictures of hot chicks to keep my attention. How am I supposed to concentrate if there aren't girl involved?"
"Go read it!" Lum commanded, stomping her foot. Her towel slipped slightly but she caught it and pulled it up, straightening her back and forcing Ataru away with her guiding finger. Ataru frowned and walked away, defeated. Lum sighed and returned to her shower, tossing her towel onto a anti-gravity pad that dried and fluffed it instantly. She stepped back into the water and started to manage her hair. "Poor Darling. I know how hard it is for him to do these kinds of things, but if he doesn't it could really mean trouble for the rest of us! We can't just have one pilot for a battleship..."
Lum took a quick glance through her wall of water at her bikini top and thought for a moment. She went deep into planning over something, so much so that her efforts at scheming made her smile and blush. Ataru had gone back to his room, which was Lum's room, and was tossing a ball up and down on the bed. Ten finally floated in and caught the ball, forcing Ataru to sit up and face him down.
"Give that back, Jariten" Ataru said. Ten took in a deep breath and incinerated the ball. "Hey! You little punk!"
"I'm going down toEarth" Ten said. "And before I go, I'm gonna tell Lum that you were slacking instead of studying!"
"Big deal" Ataru said, picking at his ear. "She's not gonna do anything but force me to read. Even so, I just have to ask her to make me dinner while I sneak some of my own snacks and she'll be too happy to be mad at me." Ten realized the truth to what Ataru said and started floating away when Ataru looked up at him with a smug look of victory on his face. "Face it, Ten, there's no way for me to get on her bad side anymore! She loves me too much to want to get me angry!"
"Well" Ten began, "what do you know? You don't love her, that's obvious even to a kid like me! She'll find out what you're doing and then you'll be out on your ass!"
"Who said I didn't love her?" Ataru said. "Well, not that I'd ever really say it, but still." Ataru's brash attitude was getting Ten riled up. His face turned red and smoke started coming from his nose.
"IDIOT!" Ten shouted. "Stupid idiot! You don't deserve Lum!" Ten floated away in a rage and got on his little hover scooter to zoom out the door and down to Earth. Ataru had taken offense to his last words and looked up to the ceiling. He laid back on the bed again with his arms folded up behind his head, and he started thinking.
Why's she still with me he thought if she knows that I don't deserve her? I mean, of course I do, right? Otherwise we wouldn't be together. She's a smart girl. She wouldn't just stay with me to make herself look good. She's in this for the long haul, good or bad. I guess I've been making it bad more than good lately. Damn. Ataru sat up, grabbed a book, and opened it to where he had left of from his previous attempt at studying. She at least deserves for me to do my best at this! Hell, even I can do this for her! Restless with thought, Ataru began pacing around until he wandered out of the room entirely.
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Just as Ataru made his second pace in front of the main console and intermittent, obnoxious light. It flashed right in his eyes until he had to pry them away from his book and look up at the screen. He recognized the word. He just learned it from his book. It meant 'CAUTION', which of course didn't mean anything good. He dropped his book and jaw at the same time and made a fast break for the bathroom. He pounded at the door frantically until he heard some kind of moving response within, namely the water hitting a floor instead of softly landing on skin.
"What is it?" Lum asked.
"Lum!" Ataru shouted. "Something's wrong with the ship!"
"Oh is there?" she asked skeptically. She didn't bother opening the door, either. It stayed locked. "Well, why don't you go and fix it, Darling? All that studying that you've done should pay off, right?" It wasn't subtle but her plan was in motion. Lum had deactivated her ship's autopilot from the control in her bikini and now stood against the door, listening and waiting for Ataru to panic. She waited for a while but heard nothing. She opened the door just a peek and looked around but he was gone.
"Okay!" Ataru exclaimed at the helm of the ship. "I'll figure this out! I'm good at stuff! Who says I'm not!?" Ataru looked around at the buttons and keys on the console, then immediately referenced his book. He looked back and forth between the book and the screen, trying to find the appropriate alien instructions to correct the displayed problem. He slowly reached out for a key, then changed his mind and chose a different one. He pressed it, the flashing stopped and a new display popped up. Five different lines of alien text and a diagram showing the projected trajectory of the ship's course. Apparently, within an hour of dysfunctional engines, the ship would fall from its orbit and hit the water in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Even with the space-age materials and flawless Oni design, falling from orbit and into the ocean would doubtlessly lead to some life-preservation problems.
"Okay" Ataru said, scanning through his book. "I understand this part. It's a list of options. Which one is 'fix problem now'?" Of course such an option wouldn't exist, but he stayed hopefully. Translating each line word by word, he understood his options and selected the third, 'check auto-pilot status'. It displayed simply 'Off'. "Alright then, we'll turn that back on" Ataru said. He searched through the lists of instructions for accessing the ship's controls. All of these commands had to be entered manually, by memory. Ataru found one to open the technical operations and slowly entered it, making sure to double check each key stroke he made.
"Damn" Ataru cursed. "That's not it. That's a diagnostic. Maybe it's under something else..." As Ataru diligently worked to correct the course and the problem at hand Lum watched him lovingly from around the corner. She was amazed at his diligence, his drive and his professionalism. She knew it would turn out like this, but her plan was only just beginning. She left to properly finish her shower just as Ataru finally managed to fix the ship's auto-pilot.
"Yahoo!" Ataru cheered. "That was easy! Now...I wonder, what else can I do?" Ataru began scanning through his book, giggling giddily at one particular instructional passage, and began typing with a mysterious and exciting new prospect. Lum rinsed the soap from her hair and massaged her shoulder, wrapping her arms and happily smiling as her mind wandered away...
She hoped the rest of the day would pan out based on Ataru's gained confidence.
"I've done it!" Ataru cheered, pumping his arm up. "I can fly a spaceship now! All I had to do was pressure myself into..." and then he stopped. He realized a great truth behind his actions and turned to Lum, who waited by his side patiently. "No. I didn't do it alone, did I Lum?"
"Oh Darling" Lum said. He took her in his arms and they embraced lovingly. "I'm so glad that I could help you, Darling. I always knew you could do it!" Ataru pulled away just enough to look into her eyes. They shared such a tender moment, such a grand romantic pause that Lum's breath even stopped as he leaned in to thank her.
With her shower over Lum skipped out of the room in her regular bikini and a short, fluffy robe. She was so giddy and excited to make her fantasy a reality that she flew straight for the console room where she knew Ataru was still working. She peeked around the corner, seeing Ataru still seated so carefully and working so hard by typing and glancing between book and screen. She couldn't help it. She flew straight over and latched her arms around his neck, ignoring his cringe and pulling herself in close.
"Darling, you did it!" she cheered. She pressed in and kissed his cheek.
"Of course I did" Ataru said, turning the chair away from the screen. "I'm not an idiot. I studied enough to know how to...do the things."
"I'm so proud of you" Lum said, nuzzling into his neck. He gave her a one-arm hug back. Not as romantic as she imagined but he was trying, and that's what she counted. She looked up into his eyes, which were dodgy as usual, and pushed away just enough to give him breathing room. He turned his head away and Lum moved in front of it, determined to spark up some romance. He smiled nervously. "You don't have to be modest, Darling. I knew you could do it. Whenever you see something you want, you always pull through and get it."
"Yeaaaah" Ataru agreed. "I'm a pretty awesome guy." Lum played her hand, specifically by placing her hand on his cheek and forcing his thoughts to her lips.
"You're my Darling" Lum said softly. Ataru was nearly swept away in the moment, just an inch away from a victory, when the feed from the monitor registered a distant-sounding splash noise. Lum was pulled away, distracted from her own romance, and turned to the screen. Ataru tried to stop her, but once she got a glance it was too late. Ataru had discovered the program for using the UFO's telescopic zoom and was watching an open-air public bath. The girl's side where some playful young women were moving around with towels barely clutched to their breasts and steamy water rippling around their curvacious hips. Lum's smile quickly turned to a stunned look of disgust, but considering the perpetrator even that expression stopped and became pure, disappointed rage.
"What?" Ataru asked. "I figure out how to do that all on my own. Aren't you proud of me for that too?"
"GRAAAAAAHHH!!!!!" Lum roared. She toppled the chair, pushed Ataru to the ground and dug her nails into his shoulders. An electric light show shined out from the mid-orbit UFO and the light of Lum's lightning blasts reflected off of nearby satellites and reflective debris in the atmosphere. The keen eye could see a dim flash over the skies of Tomobiki, a phenomenon that Ten observed with Kotatsuneko over a cool slice of watermelon.
"Looks like he got what was coming to him" Ten said. Kotatsuneko nodded in agreement.