Matthew didn't know what to do in this kind of situation, and that was precisely the reason why Gilbert should have been placed under Antonio's care rather than his. He was in law school, and was by no means a trained medical student. All he could do was watch in horror as Gilbert's eyes rolled back in his head, and his limbs started to tremble. He knew Antonio had told him what to do, but due to the amount of adrenaline and panic pumping through his veins he couldn't muster a clear thought. Everything he heard and saw became distorted, white noise.
However, despite the steadily rising panic, Matthew closed his eyes and took in two steadying breaths of air.
"One minute, the seizure shouldn't last anywhere longer than a minute," Matthew finally said to himself, conjuring up Antonio's words. He opened his eyes just as Gilbert's body succumbed to the seizure and began counting down the seconds as calmly as possible.
"Roll them onto their side, don't hold them down," Matthew whispered, rolling Gilbert over onto his side and using as little contact as possible despite how heavy the need to do so was.
"Check breathing," Matthew began listing these instructions off in his head, leaning his head over Gilbert's mouth to feel a soft – albeit weak – puff of air spilling from between his tightly sealed lips.
90 seconds, and the seizure wasn't showing any signs of stopping. Matthew felt the panic rising, the urge to cry, but he tried to calm himself by going over the steps over and over again in his mind.
"Something to cushion their head," Matthew thought as he reached for his duffle, pulling out a towel that had been taken from the old hotel and bundling it up. He put it under Gilbert's head as gently as possible.
140 seconds.
Gilbert suddenly went lax, and Matthew simultaneously felt panic and relief flood through his being. Relieved that the seizure had stopped, however panicked that Gilbert had stopped moving so violently, and that the seizure had lasted for so long.
"Gilbert?" Matthew questioned, putting a hand to his lips to check his breath. Matthew sighed in relief when he felt a warm puff of air against his fingertips, and fell back onto his backside despite himself.
Gilbert's eyes opened and he regarded Matthew with a look of confusion.
'Comfort them and explain to them what happened,' that was the last thing that Antonio had told Matthew to do.
"It's OK," Matthew said as he crawled back over to Gilbert's side on weak knees. He rested a hand against the undamaged side of Gilbert's head. "You had a seizure, but you're OK."
Gilbert still looked confused, but he seemed to be taking the words in as he nodded his head absently at Matthew's words. However, Matthew felt more fear rise in his chest when Gilbert silently got to his feet when the confused haze left, and started back toward Elizaveta and Roderich's corpses.
"No," Matthew said, grabbing his shoulder with as much force as he could to prevent him from turning around, "don't look."
Gilbert focused a look on Matthew that was so strange even Matthew couldn't tell what it was or what it meant. He looked confused and hurt, but most of all, he looked enamoured. However, what Matthew did know was that it had stopped Gilbert from turning around, and that was all that matter to him at the moment. Instead of going to the broken corpses at the outlet, Gilbert knelt down beside his duffle bag, picked it up and began walking toward the other exit of the building.
Matthew followed close behind.
They reached the parking lot without any serious problems on this run, however they were way behind on time. One car was already missing, but it was unclear who had made it out or not. The two other remaining cars in the lot were indicative of the fact that not many of them had made it out of the mall alive.
The mall was the greatest mistake they had made.
"Fuck," Gilbert finally spoke up, a loud curse that rang through the empty parking lot. He slammed his fist against the side of the car repeatedly until there was a large dent in the side. They probably wouldn't be able to open the back door ever again. Not that it mattered; it was only the two of them now.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Gilbert chanted, dropping to the ground and cradling his freshly bleeding head in his grimy hands.
Matthew could only stand in front of him in complete silence. He didn't know what to say. He didn't think he could say anything. He was currently feeling the same as Gilbert, there was no way of comforting him if he himself was feeling just as lost.
Defeated, tired, sad, angry, worthless, hopeless. There were no words to describe the feelings coursing through them, all of them too terrible to put into words.
After Gilbert's cursing fit subsided, Matthew made his way over to the car and took a seat beside him on the cold ground. It was almost silent outside, and the day would have been beautiful if the infected weren't roaming around the streets idly at every corner. Even the scent that carried on the light breeze smelled beautiful. None of this was right. This wasn't what the end of the world was supposed to look like, it was too cruel. A constant reminder of the way things used to be.
"We should go," Matthew said, finally breaking the rare peaceful silence.
"Where," Gilbert asked, more of rhetorical question than anything. They didn't have anywhere to go, they just kept moving from place to place in hopes of finding a brief refuge. The hotel was as good as it would get for them, and the chance of them finding a place like that again were slim to none.
Nothing good lasted anymore.
"I don't know," Matthew said, "but right now, I think we should just find a safe place to sleep and think things through. We're way too tired to be making any big decisions about what to do tonight."
Gilbert laughed humourlessly, running his right hand through his blood and sweat matted hair, "Matthew, I don't even know if I'll make it through the night."
Matthew looked up from the ground, eyes meeting Gilbert's uncovered, pink orbs, "Don't say stuff like that, you don't know that."
"I just had a seizure, Matthew," Gilbert said, "that coupled with a major and un-healing head wound is not a sign in my favour. I can smell an infection starting."
Matthew didn't know what to say to that, he could only stand up from the ground and make his way to the driver's side of the car. Gilbert followed his lead and stood up, gently setting himself in the passenger's side and cringing when the car was jostled at Matthew's movements.
His head injury was bad, Matthew knew that. He just didn't want to acknowledge it.
Matthew started the car and began driving.
"When we find a place to stop I'll clean your bandages," Matthew said without taking his eyes off of the road. "Your wounds aren't that bad, it's just the bandages making them look that way, and the smell is probably just from the old blood." Matthew couldn't tell if he was reassuring Gilbert, or if he was just making a weak attempt at reassuring himself about it.
Gilbert only nodded his head at him. He didn't believe the words coming out of Matthew's mouth, it was obvious by his look. He was just humouring him.
They found a decent, fairly safe looking 3 story house on their way up the road, and the fact that it was in a somewhat secluded area only made them feel better. It would have been better if it had been gated, but that kind of luxury wouldn't come easily.
When they got out of the car they grabbed their duffle bags and slung them over their shoulder, keeping their guns close to their sides and their fingers ready to pull the triggers as they entered the silent estate. However, there were no cars in the driveway so it was safe to say that there were no people currently inside the house.
Gilbert entered first despite Matthew's quiet protests, carefully looking around the first floor.
Nothing.
Gilbert indicated with his gun that he was about to go to the second floor, and Matthew followed behind wordlessly, keeping alert about what was behind him. They had checked the first floor thoroughly, but stranger things had happened to them before.
Gilbert led Matthew around room by room, nerves strung up and adrenaline pumping like nothing before.
The second floor was clear, every nook and cranny explored carefully.
The third floor was the most worrisome despite the fact that it was the least likely to harbour any of the infected. Matthew felt that this was something that was too good to be true. However, having explored the third floor thoroughly, there was nothing. The house was completely bare, and there were no infected as far as the eye could see from where they were. There was a lot of tree cover as well, so sound wouldn't carry as far and smells would be dissipated by the heavy, and incredibly strong scent of pine.
It was as safe as they would get.
Matthew sat down on the edge of what could only be the master bed, and took his boots over to reveal his incredibly blistered and bloodied feet. He hadn't even truly noticed the pain until now.
"Come with me," Gilbert said as he finally returned to the room, "we'll board up the windows."
Matthew stood up from the bed, cringing when the blisters on his feet reopened.
"There were a bunch of candles downstairs, we can light them when it gets dark as long as the windows are boarded well."
Matthew nodded his head and followed behind Gilbert.
It had been hard to find adequate supplies to board up the windows; however they had quickly realized that the cupboards we're more than big enough to cover them, so they had settled for those in the end. They had worked better than the extra wood they had found lying around inside the garage.
The sun had long since gone down when they were finished with the upstairs, and when everything was boarded up neatly, Matthew was finally able to take a shower as Gilbert collected the candle downstairs. The hydro was still working for the time being, and Matthew planned on taking full advantage of it.
When he finished, he then lit a multitude of candles around the room until there was a decent enough glow to allow him to see. He listened closely to the sound of Gilbert showering, worried that he may fall or go into another seizure. But, Matthew was lucky, and sighed in relief when he heard the sound of Gilbert turning off the taps. And, when Gilbert came out of the shower, he looked a lot less worse for wear then he did upon leaving the mall. It helped Matthew calm down, if only slightly.
"Come here," Matthew said, motioning for Gilbert to sit down beside him on the bed. Matthew had a first aid kit and its supplies ready to go.
Matthew gently peeled off the wet bandages over Gilbert's eye and laid them down on the opposite side of him. He didn't want Gilbert to see all the blood on them. Matthew was shocked by what he saw under the bandages.
"What," Gilbert said, becoming curious at Matthew's silence, "is it really that bad?"
"No," Matthew said with a quick shake of his head, "it's healing."
"Mattie," Gilbert said with a sigh, "please stop trying to make me feel better."
"No, really," Matthew said, grabbing Gilbert's arm so he was standing in front of the large vanity in the room. "It's still not in the best shape, but it's getting better."
Gilbert looked at himself in the mirror, and turned his head so he could see the wound better. It wasn't bleeding anymore, and the wound had finally crusted over. The area around the wound was deep red, but it didn't mean infection. That was all that mattered.
Gilbert looked back at Matthew, ready to thank him. However, when he looked back at him, he felt an unbelievable urge that even he was surprised at.
After having showered and without the panicked look on his face, Matthew truly was a beautiful person, both physically and emotionally. Bright and doleful blue eyes, silky blonde hair and soft pale skin. Gilbert couldn't have kept his hands off of him even if he wanted to. He leaned in without a second of hesitation and locked lips with the shorter man.
He didn't know if it was the adrenaline that had caused him to make such a rash decision, but it didn't matter because Matthew responded with the same amount of enthusiasm as he had. Kissing him until his face was turning red from lack of air. Had it not been for the basic need of oxygen, Matthew nor Gilbert would have pulled away from each other for the rest of the night.
They didn't even have to exchange words to know what the other was thinking, and with a quick nod of approval from Matthew, Gilbert began taking off his clothes and discarding them carelessly on the cold, wooden floor. There was nothing incredibly intimate about the way Gilbert was treating Matthew, and he himself would have liked to treat him with more care, but they just didn't have the time for those small luxuries. This was as good as they were going to have it. In another world, Gilbert thinks that, had he met Matthew, things may have turned out completely differently for them.
He still loved Elizaveta, but he loved Matthew too.
No words were exchanged as Gilbert pushed Matthew down onto the plush covered bed, taking off his last article of clothing. After taking him in, he himself carelessly discarded the towel around his waist, dropping it onto the floor beside the bed. He'd done this so many times that he no longer truly had the decency to be embarrassed about being completely exposed in front of someone. However, Matthew, the normally timid and shy young man, didn't seem all that fazed by him exposing himself either.
Gilbert crawled on top of Matthew, and in doing so pressed his lips into the junction between Matthew's shoulder and neck. Gilbert took the skin between his teeth and bit, not hard enough to break the skin but enough to hurt and leave a deep bruise. He wanted to know how far he could push Matthew, and by the broken breath he let out, Gilbert knew that he understood Gilbert, and wanted the same thing as he did.
Both Gilbert and Matthew didn't want it like this. They needed it like this.
Gilbert pressed his lips to Matthew's own, but instead of the questioning gentleness behind his actions before, the kisses were harsh and greedy; to which Matthew did not protest. Instead, he responded in kind.
Gilbert was normally reserved about the fact that he was well experienced where sex was concerned, as it had destroyed many of his relationships. This had initially lead to Gilbert acting reserved and timid with a lover, but with Matthew it didn't matter because Matthew didn't care. Matthew knew full well about his past, and yet he wasn't shying away from him or judging him about it. This is why, instead of dancing around the issue and pretending as if he didn't know what to do, Gilbert crawled down the bed and didn't hesitate when taking Matthew into his mouth.
Gilbert looked up through hooded lids to watch Matthew's reaction to what he had done, and was more than pleased to see Matthew with his head thrown back and his mouth wide in a breathless moan. Normally Gilbert may have pulled back, trying to take as much time as possible so as to make the client pay more. However, this wasn't a client, this was Matthew. He had chosen to do this on his own, and had he been given the chance he probably would have taken more time him. However, time did not permit him the luxury of taking it slow. So, Gilbert didn't move an inch after taking Matthew into his mouth, instead he swallowed around him and let go of Matthew's hips, letting him sink in as far into his mouth as he could. Considering Matthew's lack of experience, Gilbert knew that he wasn't going to last long, he didn't mind though. Gilbert flexed his throat and allowed Matthew to thrust his hips up into his throat until he came with a loud shout.
Gilbert swallowed without any hesitation, but before Gilbert could even look back up at Matthew, he was turning over onto his side and away from Gilbert. Gilbert was concerned about his behaviour at first, but he soon realized what was wrong by the way Matthew's neck and shoulders were flushed all the way up to his ears. Matthew was embarrassed.
Gilbert had long since ignored his own arousal at this point, realizing that Matthew probably couldn't handle any more than what had just happened.
However, Matthew spoke up, voice quiet and barely audible, "I – thanks, I can… I can take care of it for you too…"
Gilbert laughed quietly, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to the notch in Matthew's spine, "it's fine, Pancakes."
Gilbert rolled onto his back, let out a contented sigh, and fell into a deep, peaceful sleep with Matthew's comfortable warmth at his side.
"Let go," Kiku said in response to the look of terror Alfred was directing at him. He had been grabbed by one of the infected, and if Alfred didn't let go of him, they would all go down together.
Alfred kept running forward, as fast as he could with the added weight of the infected with the tight hold on Kiku's stained jacket. Alfred either didn't hear him properly, or he was choosing not to hear him – Kiku counted on it being the latter.
"Let go, Alfred," Kiku said, raising his voice so Alfred couldn't pretend that he hadn't heard him.
"No," Alfred said after a long pause, "not after all of this, I'm not letting go of you now." Alfred's grip on Kiku's hand became even tighter, and Kiku felt a pleasant numbness taking over his aching fingertips.
"We'll all die," Kiku said, "All of us, you, Arthur, and me."
Kiku could hear Alfred let out a sharp, keening sound of distress at the idea, and Kiku knew that he was finally considering what he had asked of him. Kiku was scared of what was to come, he was terrified, but he knew that this was the way that things were meant to be. He had met someone who had invoked feelings in him that he had never experienced before, and he had died right in front of him without any warning.
Kiku was going to be with him now, one way or another.
Kiku only noticed that he was crying when he felt warm, salty tears cutting tracks through his dirt-caked face and leaving a bitter, salty taste on his tongue, "please, Alfred, let me go."
Alfred gave one final, tight squeeze to Kiku's hand and then let his fingers slip free from his hold.
Kiku watched Alfred's retreating back as he fell to the ground with the infected on top of him.
They had driven for a whole two hours, aimlessly driving into the city until they came upon an abandoned farm on a flat plain of land that would allow for them to easily see anything or anyone that would approach. Feliciano still hovered above his brother's unconscious form, holding his shirt to the wound on his neck despite the bleeding having stopped an hour before.
"I'll check the house with Feliciano," Ludwig said, motioning for Feliciano to get out of the van.
"No," Feliciano all but screamed at him, "I'm not leaving Lovi alone."
"Feliciano," Ludwig said, voice soft yet commanding, "let the nurse do his job, he knows what he's doing."
Feliciano looked down at his brother's still body once more, eyes wide as he analyzed his brother as if he would disappear at any moment. When he finally seemed to be satisfied, he leaned forward and kissed his brother's forehead before backing out of the car, his shirt that was sullied with his brother's blood still clasped tight between his thin fingers.
"I'll take care of your brother," Antonio said to Feliciano's retreating back, "I promise."
Feliciano didn't say anything as he followed Ludwig inside of the farm, his gait strange and unsteady.
When Feliciano and Ludwig finally disappeared from sight, Antonio finally let the smile he had been restlessly trying to hold fall from his face. The panic and dread he felt coursing through him was painting his face, making a sordid picture of what he thought would happen to Lovino.
He had seen what had happened after his patients had been bitten.
The only thing keeping Antonio from panicking at this point was the fact that all of the patients that had been bitten hadn't turned immediately. In fact, Antonio hadn't even seen some of them turn. They had been gunned down by the soldiers before Antonio could even have a chance to gauge what, exactly, was happening to all of those that were bitten.
Antonio truly did not know what to do.
The bleeding had stopped, Lovino's breathing was normal; there was nothing he could now but watch and wait.
Wait, and hope that when Lovino woke up, he wouldn't be trying to rip his throat out with his teeth.
Antonio waited patiently for Feliciano and Ludwig to scope out the barn, making sure that no infected remained. He spent his time watching the road and the steadily dimming sky, idly running his hands through Lovino's silky auburn hair. He hadn't had time to truly enjoy the quiet until now, revelling in the fresh breeze that the silent wind carried with it. It was chilly, but it was better than the clammy, dead heat that had occupied the mall. He would take the cold over that any day.
"Antonio?"
Antonio craned his neck to look back at Feliciano, who was standing only a few feet away from him. Even with the loose gravel underneath them, he hadn't heard him getting so close to him. He needed to pay closer attention to his surroundings.
Feliciano silently walked up next to Antonio, taking a seat on the opposite side of Lovino, who was still lying unconscious.
"He was bitten," Feliciano said, not a question but a statement. "My brother is going to turn into one of those things, isn't he?"
Antonio sighed, "I don't know, Feli, I really don't. I've seen it happen, but I don't know if everyone turns. I'm not going to lie to you."
Antonio didn't see, but rather heard Feliciano standing up again. He listened to the sound of his retreating steps, his feet crunching the gravel underneath him, for what felt like hours, until they stopped dead. Antonio turned to see what had happened, and was met with Feliciano, smiling widely back at him. Antonio felt a pang of terror rip through him. Feliciano's sanity was deteriorating.
"Bring him inside," Feliciano whispered through the false smile on his face, "he'll catch a cold out here."
A/N:
Dear God, I am finally back! Uni is really sucking the life out of me, let me tell you! Not to mention I detest my roommates. These two girls throw so many damn parties without any warning that I can never get any free time without people yelling all around me and making me incredibly uncomfortable ... But, classes are done and I only have 3 finals to do. I'm no longer frosh after next week! :D I've truly been going through a very serious bout of insomnia, depression, and serious homesickness, but things are finally starting to really look up for me. I'll start trying to get back on my normal schedule from here on out. Don't give up on me, because I promise never to give up on this fic!
From here on out, this fic is getting REAL. A lot of things are coming to a head, and in the next chapter or two I'm going to be introducing the "Big Bad(s)". The real villains of this story. I will also be explaining their motives and intentions for a certain member of the group.
I love you guys, thank you for the encouraging comments and waiting for so long :') !