The walk to your apartment is a long one, as soon as you pulled up to HQ, you darted from the SUV and ignored Brock's worried voice calling after you. Tears sting your eyes and threaten to spill over, but thankfully you make it to the elevator before completely losing your grip on any sort of control. Tears stream down your cheeks as the elevator ascends, and your chest heaves under the confining restraints of your tactical vest. You drop your pack and work desperately through blurred vision to get your vest off, throwing it to the floor and collapsing to your knees as you burry your face in your hands.
You feel the elevator start to slow, and lift your head to regain any sense of composure; wiping away the tears and grabbing your vest and gear pack before the doors open. The halls are empty, as they usually are on your floor, but you keep your head high regardless until you're inside your apartment with the door shut behind you. Turning around, you lean back against the door and slowly slide to the floor, banging your head back against the hard wood in frustration.
Your apartment feels empty as you think back to your fight with Brock, and a cold loneliness washes over you as you step into your bedroom. Shaking your head, you set your mind to work, grabbing things from your closet and placing them on your bed. First, you decide to transfer your gear from your pack to an inconspicuous gym bag, and then you stuff in a few extra things from your closet for good measure before changing clothes.
You shoulder the gym bag, and take one last look in the mirror at your attire: spandex shorts and a hoodie, your regular choice for the gym or a late night run. Closing your eyes, you take a deep breath, and remind yourself that this is the right thing to do; there's no other choice. You open your eyes to glance around your apartment, and smile softly, before leaving.
Your walk to the elevator seems longer than usual, each step taking you closer to the hall where Brock's room is; the room you had insisted he sleep in until you had calmed down. Slowly coming to a halt, you glance down the hallway to your right, and chew your lip as you once more contemplate barging in on Brock to confess everything. Sniffing slightly, you shift your gym bag further up your shoulder, and continue to the elevator with an air of reluctance.
The personnel at the front security desk take one look at your attire and gym bag as you swipe your ID badge, and simply give you a curt nod. Once you make it to the edge of the property, you allow yourself to speed up to a jog; you were already dressed for it, so why not?
A few minutes pass, and you've jogged several blocks away from HQ, far enough to feel safe sending another message to Agent Hill. You decide to rest on a small park bench as you wait for a reply, enjoying the cool breeze and quiet that comes with the night air. The sound of leaves rustling nearby catches your attention, but as you squint to see in the dark, you realize it was just a small squirrel; a smile pulls at your lips as you relax back against the bench.
False alarm.
A bag is suddenly thrown over your head as you're forced to the ground; you attempt to struggle, but feel your hands and feet being tied. You're lifted off the ground, and thrown roughly into what feels to be the back of a van. The fabric of the bag is too thick, nothing can be seen through it, and you start to feel light headed as you attempt to regulate your heavy breathing within the stifling bag.
The vehicle lurches to the side, sending you rolling across the floor and into the wall with a loud 'thud'. You groan, and feel a sharp pain in the side of your head as warm liquid drips down through your hair and over your ear; all the sounds around you slowly fading into the distance.
…..
You furrow your brows and gasp as pain throbs throughout your head, the entire side of your face now coated in the warm liquid, and you can feel it slowly dripping down your neck and chest as well. The bag is still in place, but you're no longer in a moving vehicle, and you're now sitting in a rigid chair with your limbs retrained to it. You aren't sure which is more uncomfortable to be honest. A sharp pain throbs through your skull, and a loud groan of both pain and surprise escapes your lips.
You can hear someone shuffling nearby, and you quickly try to steady your breathing, readying yourself for whatever may be in store. You feel someone grip the bag on your head, loosen it from around your neck, and suddenly it's off. Bright light assaults your eyes, causing you to recoil and blink rapidly as you attempt to adjust from the blackness of being inside the bag.
"Oh my god." You hear a familiar voice whisper near you.
You turn to look in the direction of the voice, and blink several more times to bring the blurry figure before you into focus.
"Steve?" You manage to choke out.
Some of the blood drips down from your eyebrow and into your eye, causing you to quickly shut them and shake your head. Another groan escapes your lips as the throbbing pain returns, and you slump over in the chair as you try to catch your breath.
"What happened to her?" You can hear Steve yelling, ordering someone to explain themselves.
You feel someone touch the side of your face, making you flinch slightly before you realize it's just Steve with a wet towel. He smiles apologetically as he wipes the blood away from your eye.
"Do I have to be tied up?" You manage a weak smile, and nod to your restraints.
He purses his lips as he studies the entirely too tight bonds on your wrists. "Hill?" He calls over his shoulder, and out of the darkness steps a hesitant Maria Hill with a set of keys.
He wastes no time in snatching the keys from her, and quickly releases you from the restraints, earning a sigh of relief from you as you feel the circulation flow back into the tips of your fingers. As soon as you're completely free, you lunge forward to wrap your arms around Steve, almost knocking him over as he tightly winds his own arms around you in return.
You feel the tears welling in your eyes as you whisper in his ear, "I'm so sorry."
"What the hell is she doing here?" A loud voice calls out from across the room and you recognize it immediately as Fury's, but how?
"She's a friend." Steve growls back at him.
"She's literally sleeping with the enemy, and should have stayed tied up like I ordered." Fury steps closer, glaring down at you with distrust.
Agent Hill steps forward. "Sir, she's the one who got me the message about everyone being captured; she just risked everything to come here."
Steve's grip on you tightens as he helps you stand, arms still wound around each other. He pulls back slightly to look you in the eyes, "That was you?"
You manage a meager smile, and open your mouth to speak, but only a painful groan escapes as your knees buckle and your skull throbs. Steve's arms tighten back around your waist to hold you up, a worried expression on his face as he gently inspects the wound on the side of your head.
"God dammit. Someone just look at her, please? Maybe then Cap here will stop throwing a fit." Fury sighs.
Steve gently sits you down, and Natasha hurries over to you with Coulson on her tail carrying small med kit.
"I can't work with you breathing down my neck." Nat pushes Steve away, and returns to cleaning your wound. Steve reluctantly moves to the other room with Fury, and Nat smiles at you softly. "I didn't mean to send you flying across the van."
Coulson kneels beside you, placing a hand on your shoulder. "I tried to tell her she was driving too fast, but she wouldn't let me take the wheel." He purses his lips and shakes his head. "I had brought donuts but they're a mess after her crazy driving.
Chuckling softly, you gulp down the pills Nat hands you, and accept Coulson's offered hand to pull yourself up. "Don't worry about it, Nat. You don't know who you can trust these days, although, I really could use a donut right now."
Coulson glares at Nat, "I told you we should have gotten more donuts." He wraps an arm around your waist as you wrap an arm around his shoulder, helping to support you as the three of you move to join the others in the adjoining room.
Steve jumps up from his seat next to the man you assume to be Sam, and picks you up, moving carefully as his sits back down; he positions you gingerly on his lap to support your weight. His arms wrap around you to keep you warm, and you breathe a soft sigh of relief as you slowly lower the uninjured side of your head down to rest against his shoulder.
"I missed you." He whispers against your forehead, and you squeeze one of his hands reassuringly.
Your gaze turns to Fury, who is studying you carefully. "How are you alive?" You finally ask the question that's been burning at the back of your mind.
"Tetradoxine Bi reduces the pulse to one heartbeat a minute. Banner made it for stress-related issues. It didn't work well for him, but we've found uses for it." He narrows his eyes at you slightly. "What do you know about Project Insight?"
Furrowing your brows slightly, you slowly lift your head to see him more clearly. "I've never heard of it?"
"Are you telling me that you have no idea what's really going on?" Fury looks at you suspiciously, obviously not believing a word you say.
You sigh in annoyance. "Look, I know you have no reason to trust me, but I really have no idea what's going on. All I know is that I don't trust anything that mother fucker, Pierce, says."
The corners of Fury's lips twitch slightly as he nods his head as he looks at Steve. "I like her." He pulls out a box, and sets it on the table carefully. "Project Insight consists of three helicarriers equipped with long range precision guns that can hack spy satellites and eliminate a thousand hostiles in a minute. They read DNA to neutralize threats before they even become threats and prevent possible terrorist attacks…originally…but Pierce, along with what we assume is the rest of Strike team, are Hydra and want to use Insight to eliminate anyone against Hydra to create a new world order."
Your mind swims with thoughts of Brock, but everything starts to make sense as Fury continues. You clutch onto Steve, and feel his hand gently rub soothing circles on your back.
Fury opens the box to reveal three chips, one for each helicarrier. "We have to assume everyone aboard those helicarriers is Hydra. We have to get past them, insert these blades, and maybe, just maybe we can salvage what's left…."
Steve shifts slightly beneath you, turning to face Fury. "We're not salvaging anything. We're not just taking down the carriers, Nick. We're taking down Shield."
Fury clenches his jaw. "Shield had nothing to do with this!"
Steve shakes his head. "You gave me this mission. This is how it ends. Shield's been compromised, you said so yourself; Hydra grew right under your nose and nobody noticed."
Fury leans forward slightly, lowering his voice. "Why do you think we're meeting in this cave? I noticed."
You feel Steve's demeanor change, and he takes a deep breath to collect himself. "How many paid the price before you did?"
Fury leans back in his seat. "Look, I didn't know about Barnes."
Steve looks down at the table, seeming lost in thought. "If you had, would you have told me? Or would you have compartmentalized that too? Shield, Hydra, it all goes."
Hill moves forward. "He's right."
Nick glances towards Natasha, who nods softly in agreement, and then he turns his gaze to Sam.
"Don't look at me, I do what he does," He motions to Steve. "Just slower."
"Pretty sure we all know who I follow here…" Coulson grins broadly and motions to Steve.
Nick turns his attention back toward Steve. "Well, looks like you're giving the orders now, Captain."
…..
You carefully slip on the oversized t-shirt, making sure not to brush against the tender side of your head, and then slowly pad into one of the rooms. Steve is sitting on the couch watching one the Jurassic park movies, and doesn't notice when you close the door behind you. You make it to the edge of the couch before he takes notice.
"Hey, are you feeling alright?" He pats the couch next to him.
You sit, and pull his arms around yourself as you bury your face in the crook of his neck. "I'll be okay." You whisper. "I'm more worried about you."
There's a moment of silence, and you move back slightly to see him looking down at you. "I have to ask…Did you know anything about him before you knew who he was?" You can see the pain in his eyes, and know immediately what he's referring to.
"I only just heard of him today, Steve, I promise. I didn't know who they were talking about when we received the call about you fighting someone on the bridge, so I asked Brock… all he would tell me is that he was dangerous, and that I should stay away if I could." You press your forehead against his, and feel his thumb brush against your cheek as he wipes away one of your tears. "Brock knew about this…about who he really was, about Insight, about Hydra…there's no way he doesn't know what's really going on."
"Shhh." He brushes his thumb therapeutically over your cheek and jaw, keeping his forehead pressed to yours to force you to look into his eyes. "Brock would never hurt you, you're too special, and he'd never ruin his chance with someone as amazing as you. He's blindly loyal, so we don't know how involved he really is yet."
"I don't know what I'd do without you." You whisper softly, and a small smile tugs at the corner of his lips. "When everything is going wrong, you're the one thing I can count on."
He brushes his thumb over your lips, silencing you, before moving back to stroking your cheek. "It's okay... I promise I'll always be here."
You shake your head softly. "I'm so sorry, Steve…" You look into his eyes, and see the tears welling up in his eyes. "I'm so sorry that I never saw before."
He closes his eyes and takes an uneven breath. "Please… just don't."
More tears stream down your face as you close your eyes and clutch onto him, his hands slowly moving to either side of your face. You feel his lips against yours, and for a moment, you stay there, rigid and unsure. You begin to relax, and your lips part to release the breath you'd been holding. Steve moves one hand around the back of your neck, and the other around your waist, pulling your body closer as he gently presses his lips to yours again and waits for a response.
Before you can think, your body reacts; your fingers rake though his hair as you begin moving your lips against his, earning a soft groan from him. Moving onto his lap, you press your body flush with his and feel his hands move to your hips as you gently trace along his tongue with your own. He grips your hips tighter, and you pull away slightly, leaving him breathless as he studies your features in confusion.
Your brain finally registers that this is Steve, but for some reason you don't care. Something about it feels right, and the way he's looking at you is putting ungodly thoughts in your head. He whispers your name questioningly, seeming unsure of how to act or if he crossed a line.
You run your hands up his chest, and lightly grip his face with your fingers tangled in the back of his hair and thumbs along his jaw. He lets out a deep breath, and you can't hold back anymore; you crash your lips against his, and a soft moan escapes from both of you as you move your hips against him.
Suddenly, he grips your hips and stands, carrying you with him as he walks over to the bed where he takes care to lay you down gently. You barely have time to scoot yourself up on the bed before he's holding himself over you, lips already finding your neck causing you to arch your back and grip his arms. You run one of your legs along his, sliding it slowly up further until you hitch up on his hip. He groans against your neck and shifts his weight to one arm, lowering himself on top of you as his other arm moves to run his hand along your thigh. You run your fingers through the back of his hair with one hand, still gripping his arm with the other, and can't help but to squirm slightly beneath him.
His breathing becomes heavy and uneven as he grips your thigh, holding it around his waist as he grinds his full weight against you. You bite you lip, trying to hold back as best you can, but as his hips move against you for a second time a long breathy moan escapes your lips. His grip on your thigh loosens as he moves it down slowly to grip your ass, squeezing it as he pulls you harder against him and groans in your ear.
You moan his name, and feel him tense on top of you as he shifts his weight to look at you.
His are pupils dilated and lips slightly red. "What?" He breathes.
You move your hands up through the back of his hair and say his name again, brushing your lips against his as you draw it out into a long breathy moan.
His hips roll against yours slightly. "What?" He breathes again, this time sounding almost like a groan.
You kiss his lips softly, pulling his bottom lip between your teeth and biting gently, causing him squeeze your ass tighter. Pulling him closer, you gently turn his head and kiss along his jaw to his ear, where you again moan his name slightly louder.
His hips involuntarily roll against yours again, making you lean your head back and tug at the back of his hair. He presses his lips to yours hungrily, and you tug at the edge of his shirt, which he is more than happy to sit up and pull off under the condition that he also gets to pull yours off.
He stares at your figure, breathing heavily and biting his lip as he rakes his eyes over every curve. When his eyes meet yours, you curl a finger at him, asking him to come back.
His weight is on top of you again, the hot skin of his torso pressed against your cool skin as he grinds his hips into yours, earning increasingly louder moans from you. His lips press to yours slowly as his hips halt, and you smile into the kiss as you feel his heartbeat pulsing through his entire body.
"Maybe we should slow down a bit, with your head and all." He studies your eyes, his gaze darting to your lips now and then, as he waits for a reply.
You smile softly and nod. "We can slow down."
He presses a soft kiss to your lips and shifts to hold some of his weight off you, giving you a better view of his torso. You quirk a brow and bite your lip, running your hands up his sides slowly, dragging your nails barely over the skin of his abs and flattening your palms out to feel his chest as your hands make their way around to tangle themselves in the back of his hair. You look to his eyes, but they're closed, his brows furrowed, and his breathing picking back up.
You decide to have a little fun, and roll your hips up against his repeatedly, moving one of your hands down to tug at his hips, giving yourself leverage to pull him against you. His head lulls forward so that his forehead is resting against yours, and as you continue to roll your hips, his lips part in a groan. You tug at his hips harder, earning a louder groan from him, before he pins your hands above your head, taking precaution to be gentle with your wrists, and fiercely presses his lips to yours as he lowers his full weight onto you again.
He shifts to release your wrists, and one of his hands trails down your body to squeeze at your ass again. You moan against his lips, moving your hands over the muscle of his shoulders as your legs wrap around his waist. His lips move along your jaw, finding your neck again as he grinds harder against you, making your head fall back against the bed as your back arches.
A pain flashes through your skull as the breath escapes your lungs, and you grip onto Steve's shoulders to help deal with the pain as he pulls back to look at you questioningly. You blink several times to clear your vision as the pain slowly subsides, and as soon as you loosen your grip on his shoulders, Steve leans over to turn on the lamp, and then gently turns your head to get a better view.
He lets out a small sigh and shifts his weight to lay beside you. "I didn't mean to hurt you."
You turn to him, laying the uninjured side of your head against his chest as you curl up against his side, his arms immediately wrapping around you. He kisses the top of your head gently, and reaches over to turn off the lamp, leaving you both with only the light from the tv once more. You move up slightly, laying your head next to his to kiss his cheek as he pulls the blanket up over you.
He turns and presses his lips to yours gently. "Try to get some sleep."
You press your forehead to his, and absently stroke your thumb over his jaw and neck as you close your eyes; a soft, tired chuckle passing through your lips as you feel his heartbeat still racing.