Sorry for the long hiatus, guys; and thanks for the unceasing support. I won't make any excuses for myself this time – not because I don't have any, but because I could have updated earlier.

THANK YOU for all the encouraging comments. You are all wonderful and I don't deserve you.

Breaking Insanity

Chapter 25 – Cold Blood

It was dark outside when Kakashi left the library. The moon was full, but no stars could be seen on the sky. The streets were silent and empty. It was a lonely night.

Kakashi didn't see a soul as he walked down the dark ally. At daytime this was considered a 'safe' part of the city. Now he wasn't so sure. It was almost too quiet. No nightlife at all. Only the moon, the cold streets and the wind blowing over the roof tops.

The snow had melted, the days turned warmer, but it was still chilly after sundown. Kakashi didn't mind. It felt refreshing to walk in the cold night air and the silence was welcome after a whole day surrounded by people. It was nice to breathe and walk again without pain or discomfort.

There was barely a sound of warning. An arm shot out from the shadows and seized him, pulled him back into a dark corner and a firm chest. A hand covered his mouth. He could feel a hot breath against his neck, a ragged, restricted panting, as if the person he just been running.

Kakashi cursed himself for not paying more attention to his surroundings. It should have been impossible to miss the footsteps, but thinking about his healed ribs his mind had started to stray towards Obito, and now…

Now he was right here.

A familiar, dangerous scent engulfed him and Kakashi suddenly struggled to breathe.

He's found me.

Kakashi felt a surge of panic, and he jerked to get free – but was held closer, fingers gripping bruises into his arms. If he'd only worn the stupid hood–

"Be still," Obito hissed. There was an unexpected urgency in his voice that made Kakashi freeze despite the adrenaline coursing through him. His heart beat hard. A few seconds passed.

A figure ran past them on the same path Kakashi had been taken, but he did not notice them, drowned in darkness as they were. He disappeared from sight. The feet clattering against asphalt slowly grew more distant – and then a gun went off. Kakashi flinched.

There were no more sounds of feet running.

That should have been me.

He'd had no idea of the danger lurking in the deceitfully peaceful ally, no warning at all of what lay ahead. No idea that the unusual silence meant he was in the eye of the storm. Had Obito not stopped him that would have been him.

Slowly, he pressed back against Obito's body. He was only barely covered by the shadows, and the darkness didn't feel nearly as impenetrable as it had a few seconds earlier. A flash of light could easily expose them, and his hair was nearly white for fuck's sake.

Obito dropped his hand from Kakashi's face, pulling up a small pistol from his jumper. Without a word, he began to sidle soundlessly along the wall. Kakashi followed his example, and together they began to make their retreat. It felt tortuously slow. Kakashi wanted to run. Instinct told him to flee, but reason made him follow Obito, staying within the dark protecting them from sight.

When they had moved thirty feet or so Obito turned to walk ahead. They moved faster now. They walked first, then jogged quietly. Sometimes, Obito froze. Then they moved again. Walked – at times sneaked. They ran some parts, shoes sounding awfully loud, almost echoing, in the quiet stillness of the night. Kakashi felt like his breath alone could be heard in a hundred yard radius.

The ground was sloping downwards, the buildings getting shaggier. Some of lights were broken here, and the shadows grew longer. Darker. They were heading to the Sinkhole.

Soon water glittered in front of them, the surface reflecting the moonlight. Obito expertly avoided the flooded areas. Mud splattered under their feet.

At times they saw figures running along the buildings. Heard another gunshot. Kakashi's heart was thudding hard in his chest. He and Obito were running more often than not now, yet it felt as if he had never moved slower. Their jogging and running seemed to go on for an eternity.

It was only when the ground started to tilt uphill that Kakashi realized they had moved through the slum and were getting out on the other side of it, on the outskirts south-east of the city. They had covered a much longer distance than he had thought. The buildings were slowly getting scarcer, and it was becoming harder to hide, but it had now been long since they last saw anyone else. Kakashi could make out the horizon ahead of them, but it would be unwise to make for the open fields beyond.

They entered an area restricted by a fence topped by barbered wire and Obito led them to a place where the ground lowered enough to leave a space to crawl under. Kakashi went first. The ground was wet, soft and slippery. His hands sunk into cold mud, and the denim at knees became wet.

The sound of the guns was heard again, more often now, if further away. No doubt police would arrive any moment, but the fight seemed to be spread out over such a large area, with the subjects in constant motion, that Kakashi couldn't help but wonder how long it would take to get control over the situation. He wondered what part Obito had in this.

It had been quiet for a while, but now yet another gunshot was heard – and this one close up. Obito hurried him.

Obito led them into an abandoned building – an old factory or mill of some sort. They had to risk the moonlight for a moment to get in, but Obito looked like a flickering shadow, barely visible the short time it took him to get inside. Kakashi felt like a patch of light in comparison.

Obito lead him further into the building, which grew darker as they got deeper. The air was dusty and made his nose scratch. They continued until they reached a place that seemed to meet Obito's requirements. Obito let go of Kakashi, and even though he was standing just in front of him, it was so dark Kakashi could only barely make out a vague outline of his body.

"Stay here until it calms down," said Obito quietly. "Do not draw attention to yourself. Stay in the shadows. If someone enters, play dead."

Kakashi was about to murmur a reply when they heard something and froze. At that moment his eyes caught a flicker of movement. Through a door opening diagonally across from where he stood, silhouettes were moving on the wall of the other room. Then they heard the voices.

"You sure?"

"I saw someone go in here." A beat of silence. Then, the same voice, "I think it was him."

A third person spoke. "Search the place."

There were sounds of footsteps. The click of a pistol being loaded. The footsteps came closer. Obito swore under his breath. He murmured to follow him – they would have to try to get out again.

They had barely time to leave the room before their pursuers entered it.

Then everything happened very suddenly.

There was a rush of feet, a shout, and Obito shoved him roughly to the floor – and into the dark shadow of some machinery. He scraped his elbows and knees, and a low groan escaped his lips as his rib cage made impact with the hard concrete. He looked up just in time to see Obito spin around and shoot the firearm out of someone's hand.

The man attacked with an enraged snarl, and the trigger went off a second time. Kakashi saw, as if in slow-motion, the man fall over and hit the floor. A dark puddle grew under him.

There was a conservation going on around him, between Obito and their attackers. No words registered in his mind. Kakashi stood frozen, hearing only the loud beat of his own heart.

By the time Kakashi was able to tear his eyes of the man, he was already dead, and Obito was fighting the two others. Somehow, he had been disarmed, and both guns had been dropped to the ground – one close to where Kakashi lay. The fight was fierce, actions made in the speed of lightning. Obito tried to prevent his opponents from reaching either of the guns scattered on the floor, and they in their turn kept him too busy from doing it himself.

These were fighters on a whole other level that those from Zabuza's gang had been. They kept up with Obito perfectly. They were ruthless, furious, and gave their opponent no chance to recover from one hit before they landed the next. Their aim was to exterminate, nothing less.

Between their sure movements and perfect teamwork, they looked to be more than experienced street fighters. They almost looked like… professionals.

Obito staggered, and in a sudden flash of realization, Kakashi realized that perhaps they did more than keep up with him. Maybe, this time, it was Obito that was overpowered.

A mental, nightmarish image blinked in front of his eyes. Obito, captured. One holding him. The other picking up the gun. Pointing it. Pulling the trigger. Once, twice. A dark patch growing over his jumper…

Kakashi blinked, and came back to present. The first thing he saw was the dropped gun. It was not a foot away from him. He could reach it so easily.

Would he really kill for Obito? If forced to make the choice between Obito's lives and theirs, could he take a human life? Two?

The insight came like a shock.

He had never even considered killing before. The idea hadn't even entered his mind. Yet his hand stretched out from the shadows, reaching for the gun in the faint moonlight. He grasped it. It felt cool.

He didn't know if he was morally justified to kill in this occurrence. Surprisingly, he found he didn't care. He wasn't going to lose Obito. That was all there was to it – nothing more and nothing less.

He stood up, silently. With all the commotion, no one noticed the movement in the shadows. His legs were shaking. He lifted his gun. The trembling stopped. His hands became steady, heart breathing a sure, steady rhythm. He felt calm. He took aim. And then he waited.

Obito was forced back a step. His attackers followed, and Kakashi followed them, staying in the shadows. Watching intently. For a moment, it looked like Obito had lost his balance. He regained it. He'd come alive, fighting – and it was brutal, but oddly… beautiful.

Suddenly all three of them stopped, as if a wordless hold-fire had been agreed on. They were still tense, though – ready for attack and counter-attack at less than a moment's notice.

"Give it up, Obito," said one of them, spitting out Obito's name as if it was a foul word. They slowly circled around him. Obito kept a careful watch on both, refusing to let either of them out of sight. "You know you can't take on more than one of us at the same time."

Obito bared his teeth. "If you're so confident, why not just get it over with?"

"There's no reason for you to die," said the other, a low warning.

"I'd say the same to you." Obito threw a sardonic look at the corpse.

A scowl. "Jiribo always was a fool. He never learned to be cautious. But that's not true for you, is it, Obito? A little careless, perhaps – and daring. But you're not stupid. I ask again: Where is he?"

Obito laughed mockingly. "What are you expecting? For me to whip him out of my pants? Do you think I have him on me?"

"Get out of our way."

"No," said Obito. His voice lowered, took on the tone of voice he used when giving orders to the Akatsuki. It became darker, colder. "You get out of my way."

For a moment, it looked like it was going to work. The first man took a step backwards, almost instinctively. A beat of silence, however, revealed the other wasn't about to back down.

"I'm not the only one who will be upset if it's not I that complete this task," said Obito, voice a low threat. "You were never meant to succeed – you're only a message." Obito gave them a slow, demeaning smile. "Someone's become impatient, and wants me to hurry up."

The first man stepped forward again. "You don't know our orders!" he bristled, insulted.

"Back off," growled Obito.

At his words, both men took a step back, tensing.

Kakashi was so concentrated on what was in front of him that he almost missed the movement in the corner of his eye. Almost. Another form had sneaked in through the second door without notice, and hunched in the corner, not far away from Kakashi. Ready to pounce. She watched Obito with a predatory look, her gaze flicking, analyzing the situation. Obito had his back to her, entirely focused on the other two. He didn't know he was baring his neck for another.

"You've become distracted," the second man sneered at Obito. "The plans have changed."

A knife flashed, and the woman leaped.

The calm, collected trance Kakashi was under shattered.

He didn't think. Perhaps an unconscious part of him remembered that he had never used a gun before, and that risking Obito's life hoping he could get it right on the first try just wasn't worth it. Perhaps he realized that somehow, despite it all, Obito must have trusted Kakashi to watch his back.

But he didn't think. He couldn't.

At that moment, he just moved. He didn't care if Obito had killed a man mere minutes before without batting an eyelash. He didn't care about how Obito had abused him and many others.

He just needed to protect him.

No matter the cost.

The gun cluttered to the floor as Kakashi jumped out in front of Obito. The knife slashed through his face just before his own fist hit its target, hard enough to make his opponent double over.

There should have been pain, but in the moment, he just couldn't feel it. Blood filled his eye, blinded it, but he could still see with his right one so he kept going. The woman staggered back, but another took her place. Kakashi didn't think. He snatched the man's jacket, lifted him, and slammed him into the ground with a force – a brutality – he had never used before.

A vicious throb of pain pulsated though his eye, and he faltered. A rough shove from behind made him lose his already unsettled balance, and he fell. He didn't have time to catch himself. He hit the floor. Pain exploded through his head. Someone snarled. All went black

o o o

Kakashi woke to ragged breathing.

He didn't know how long he had been out. His head hurt. The pain in his eye came to him slowly, first only stinging and then, with a smart, it hit him full force; worse than ever before. Despite the pain, he was desperate to open it, desperate to know if he could still see. But it was glued shut by coagulated blood. Tentatively, he brushed his fingertips over the lid, and hissed. Not a good idea.

He was lucky he had gotten away with his life. But. The brief graze of his fingers earlier told him the eyeball seemed to have kept its shape, at least. Perhaps there was still hope.

"Had a nice nap?"

Kakashi turned towards the hoarse voice – his head throbbing with the movement – and focused on Obito sitting slumped by the wall. He looked ragged, and tired. He had a streak of dirt across his face, the splatter of another's blood on his cheek. He looked unusually pale, chest heaving.

Then Kakashi noticed the dark patch on Obito's jumper. A hand of ice squeezed his heart. Kakashi sat up, ignoring the wave of nausea that followed the movement. His left eye-socket stung in discontent.

Obito smirked briefly at Kakashi's pained expression, but quickly turned sober. The display helped Kakashi calm down. If Obito was well enough to take joy in Kakashi's suffering he was probably not mortally injured. If he had been he would have bled out by now – or done something about it.

Still.

"You're hurt."

Police cars were crying from all around the city, but none had yet to show up here. His eye flicked to the motionless bodies on the floor. He gulped, and fought another wave of lightheadedness. He was not sure he was willing to check if Obito had killed the other three or just knocked them unconscious. His gaze drifted back to Obito, leaning heavily against the wall, his breathing notably restricted.

"I'm fine," said Obito, though the patch bellow his shoulder was growing by the minute. Kakashi felt his lungs close up. The worry returned like a sledgehammer. What did he know about medicine?

"But–"

"It's not a bullet wound," said Obito, pacifying some of his fear, and allowing him to breathe again. For a while, he feared he'd have to watch Obito die like he did the other man. "Just a scratch."

"Scratch?"

"Knife. I've had worse."

"You should still do something about it."

"It can bleed until it stops."

Kakashi let out an annoyed growl. He stood up. He felt dizzy, and the ground seemed to sway, but he found himself able to walk as long as he focused. On his way to Obito he snatched up a knife from the floor – he would need it. He would have to remove Obito's jumper to get access to the cut, and moving the shoulder before they knew the extent of his injuries didn't seem like a good idea.

Kakashi dropped down on his knees next to Obito and grasped the textile at the collar of his jumper. He lifted the knife. Obito caught his hand – and eye – with a grip of iron.

There was a beat of a tense, stained silence.

Kakashi let out a humorless laugh. "Obito, I'm just trying to get rid of your jumper."

"I can take it off myself," he said coldly.

"Fine," said Kakashi, exasperated.

Obito didn't let go.

Kakashi took the hint and let go of the knife, letting it fall to the ground with a clatter. He exaggerated the movement to show Obito what a baby he was being – if Kakashi had wanted to see Obito hurt, he would have gone about it in much easier ways. Such as just letting him get stabbed.

Obito had always seemed to regard him as practically harmless in the past. What had caused the sudden change of attitude? Maybe the injury made him jumpy. Kakashi didn't think he imagined the flicker of fear he's seen in Obito's eyes the split second before Obito's hand closed around his wrist.

"Will you let me see?" Kakashi said, when it became clear Obito wasn't going to undress without further prodding. Obito was still watching him warily.

Obito regarded him for another moment before he pulled off his jumper. A gaping gash was revealed; not wasn't as bad as Kakashi had feared, but deep enough to be of concern.

For one, the bleeding needed to stop.

"You should go to the hospital," said Kakashi. Both of them should, but Kakashi wasn't in danger of bleeding to death, at least. Of course, it was obvious no major blood vessels had been severed, but they couldn't just leave it open. That flap of flesh had to be closed. If not, it would take ages before it healed. Not to mention the risk of infection…

"Talk for yourself. Your whole face is covered in blood."

"Obito…"

"Over my dead body."

Kakashi gritted his teeth. "It needs to be closed."

Had the cut been on an arm or leg, he might have been able to tie something around it to stop the bleeding and hold the wound together, but the location of the cut made that impossible. Even if it could heal without stitches it should still be closed to minimize scarring. Obito had enough scars.

"Well then, you do it," said Obito.

Kakashi dug in his pocket and fished up a needle. "Got thread?"

Obito watched him in disbelief. "Who the fuck actually carries that stuff around?"

Kakashi returned to his fish in his pocket – he should have it, somewhere… There it was. He bit off a string of thread and proceeded to try to get the tattered end through the needle's eye.

"I don't think I even own a needle," Obito added, thoughtfully. A pause of silence. "You know, you really should get your eye looked at, first."

Kakashi ignored him. "Light," he said, wetting the thread.

"Phone's dead."

"Use mine. Jeans, left pocket –-– front one, you arse."

Obito picked up his phone and light flowed over Kakashi's hands. Kakashi thread the needle.

Despite his words – which Kakashi initially thought an attempt to keep the needle away from him rather than worry over Kakashi's well-being – Obito showed no concern about having his skin used as a patchwork quilt. In fact, he seemed to be utterly at comfort with Kakashi sewing through his flesh. Kakashi, meanwhile, hoped he wouldn't rip his skin or accidentally make it worse. The lightning was poor even with the phone's torch, and Kakashi would have preferred to do it anywhere else if he hadn't feared it was either now, or not at all.

Never before had his abhor for hospitals came in so handy. He knew how to patch himself up – literally – even if this was the first time he had attempted his dubious skills on another.

He worked slowly but got the job done.

Kakashi pulled back to admire his work for a moment – the stitches looked even, despite his doubts – and lack of proper tools. He needed to make Obito disinfect it, though. His eyes followed the trail of blood that had run down his torso. He dabbed it away with Obito's already ruined jumper, his gaze straying momentarily down his taut abdomen before he caught himself.

Obito was bleeding, for fuck's sake. What was wrong with him?

Kakashi attempted to stand up.

A hand caught the back of Kakashi's neck. He was pulled back down, lips catching Kakashi's as he let out sound of surprise. Kakashi found himself spell-bound by a thin, delicate shiver of electricity at the touch. Obito's lips were soft and warm. Alive. He was so very much alive...

Obito kissed him, slowly, but thoroughly, unhurried. Kakashi made a move to withdraw, half-heartedly, but hand at his neck kept him in position, and he didn't fight it.

For all their gentleness, the touches had an almost desperate insistency to them.

Kakashi responded, tentatively parting his lips to let a hot tongue nudge his. A hand slipped into his hair. He felt intoxicated. He was barely aware Obito of lifted his thigh over his own legs so Kakashi straddled him. The new position was nice. It made kissing easier. Simple. As natural as breathing.

The moment seemed without of the realms of time.

Kakashi turned his head, slightly, to break away from the kiss. He needed air. Obito dragged his teeth over his lower lip, pulling at the heated, swollen flesh. Kakashi let out a needy sound.

Then he remembered the man, dying, with Obito's bullet shot through his chest. The corpse – or corpses – surrounding them. Kakashi pried Obito's hand away from his neck.

"Obito," he said before Obito could lean in again. "What are we going to do with them?"

He sounded hopeless when he spoke out loud – desperate, even. He should insist they went to the police, but felt oddly protective of Obito. And guilty. Maybe because he had seriously planned to pull that trigger for a while, he felt he was almost as responsible for these men's deaths as Obito was…

"I've got it," said Obito, and that was that. Kakashi was too tired to worry further over the subject at the moment. He gave him one last lingering kiss. "We need to go."

Walking did not agree with the hit Kakashi had taken to his head. It appeared he had been running on adrenaline earlier and suddenly everything was leaving him. Standing up was bad enough. Everything blurred, and his headache, that had been nagging at him constantly since he first woke up, went from bad to worse. Kakashi did his best to push his feelings away and trudged on. They went outside.

Police cars flashed by. There was bright lights and flickering shadows, ambulances crying. Somewhere on the way to the barbed fence from the factory, the ground started to tilt. He threw up.

They continued, the taste of bile in his mouth, head whirling and thoughts becoming more and more incoherent. He leaned heavily on Obito. His eye prickled and watered. He could still not open it.

Shortly after crawling under the fence things became even blurrier and he didn't know where he was going anymore. He threw up again. Obito kept him moving forwards. The pain in his eye grew worse.

Afterwards he could never remember much. Obito's voice grew distant and the cry of the ambulance louder. Then he was finally allowed to lay down on something, which was all that mattered at that point. His mind was swimming with images scissors and clean-cut cotton threads, and couldn't everyone just be quiet, all he wanted was some rest, was that really so much to ask..?

People where tugging at him, pulling at him, asking questions. He was placed on a stretcher.

Kakashi would have loved to black out, escape it all, if only for a while. Unfortunately, he was kept at the brim of consciousness the entire way to the hospital.

o o o

Hell didn't end when he reached the hospital, though. It only begun.

Kakashi was forced to answer a dozen of questions and then his eye was more or less pried open, though at that point the anesthesia had set in and it didn't really hurt anymore – he just felt tired and confused and wanted to sleep. It registered vaguely in his mind that the flecks of light and blurred colors meant that his left eye hadn't gone entirely blind.

He went through several scans and tests, and though the doctors and nurses told him what was happening and what they were doing nothing really stuck in his mind.

An ophthalmologist was brought in and took a second look at Kakashi's eye – asking a new bunch of questions, many of them versions of those he had been asked earlier. Kakashi did his best to answer them. Then he told Kakashi about the injury to his eye and what they could do to help him.

Finally, Kakashi a sighed a form of consent for a surgery – the procedure of it was lost to him, and all he really cared about was that it might – and probably would – restore most, if not all, if his vision.

He was then sedated.

o o o

When Kakashi woke up, his right eye flicked over blank, empty walls. The room was white, but draperies over the windows kept the lighting muted. Gai was slumped in a chair next to the bed, clutching Kakashi's hand even in sleep. Kakashi freed himself, because Gai's vice-like grip had stopped the blood circulation in his fingers. A quiet, subdued pain thudded in his head. His left eye was covered by some kind of bandage and only the slightest prickling sensation could be felt.

All in all, it was a definite improvement from what he last remembered.

It took a few moments before he had detangled his memories enough to make sense of everything – or most – that had happened. It felt like a surreal dream. His memory was a bit foggy, and especially the last bits were hard to remember. Kakashi blamed it on the hit he had taken to his head.

A nurse entered the room and smiled when she saw that he was awake. "It was impossible to get him out," she said quietly, looking down at Gai. "He's been here all night."

Kakashi looked at Gai and smiled, feeling warmth at the thought of his friend's concern. He didn't remember Gai getting here last night, nor did he have an idea of how he even knew Kakashi was at the hospital in the first place; but it felt right somehow – that Gai was here when he woke up.

"How do you feel?"

"Uh– I don't know–" What was he supposed to say? "My eye," he began, and was interrupted.

"It will heal," said the nurse. Kakashi had never heard sweeter words in his life. For a while, he worried that the lack of pain could be bad news. "You were very lucky, considering the circumstances."

"I don't remember much of last night," he admitted. "Could you remind me of my diagnosis?"

"Certainty. You have an eyelid laceration and a full-thickness corneal laceration, which extends three millimeters to the sclera – that it, the eye globe."

She let that sink in.

"The surgery went well. We repaired the damage to your eye, and sutured your eyelid as well. You will be asked wear an eye patch for three days, and return for a check-up on Thursday. After that, you only need to wear an eye patch when you sleep for about weeks' time. You should expect to be sensitive to light a few days, but you should be able to return to your usual activates within a week or two – but no heavy lifting, swimming, or straining physical activates for a month. It will take a few months before we can see how successful the surgery was, and even longer than that for the eye to fully heal."

"Thank you. That is great news."

"We also closed the cut below your eye – eleven stitches, there. It will doubtlessly leave a scar, but it shouldn't be too notable." She gave him an encouraging smile. "Easy enough to cover up with cosmetic, if you want to. It needs to be left alone while it heals, though," she added, voice turning stern. "No make-up for at least two months – longer, if it turns out additional surgeries are needed."

Kakashi inclined his head, but didn't have time to answer before Gai woke up and practically leaped out of the chair, this time clutching into both of Kakashi's shoulders.

"My rival!" he cried.

Kakashi patted him awkwardly on his back. "There, there."

The nurse let out a laugh, and bit into her lip, blushing. "I'm sorry," she said. "It's just... he's been here all night. He arrived shortly after your surgery and it's been impossible to part him from you since."

"That's just how he is," Kakashi said fondly, and Gai started crying again. "Do you have any idea of how he knew I was here in the first place?"

The nurse looked slightly distracted. "Er," she said. "He was one of your ICE contacts. You seemed a bit out of it, so we thought it might be a good idea to get in touch with your family. The other contact didn't pick up the phone."

"Oh." That would be Jiraiya. It was probably just as well. "Wait. Who brought me in?"

The nurse smiled ruefully. "We got a call about an injured man close to an old sawmill last night. So, that would be the ambulance. They found you passed out on a bench."

"Who called?"

"I can't say. The call was made from your own phone."

"Was– Was there anyone else there?"

"No, not that I know of," said the nurse. "But where were we?" She still appeared to be slightly baffled by Gai. It was amusing. Kakashi patted the still crying Gai consolingly.

"My diagnosis?" he said, prodding her memory.

"Oh, right. Well. You've got a concussion and should try to stay in bed for a few days – both for the sake of your head and your eye. Plenty of sleep is recommended for your sclera and cornea to heal."

She turned to look at some vials and bottles until she found what she had been looking for and placed it on the desk. "You will be taking these antibacterial eye-drops four times a day the first two weeks, and then twice a day for a six to eight weeks, depending on how fast your eye heals…" The nurse dug around and found another vial. "And these, twice a day, for forty days."

Kakashi peered at the vial with his good eye but couldn't make out what it was for from this distance.

"It's to keep your eye properly hydrated, and speed up the healing process," she explained. "The ophthalmologist will give more details on your check-ups, and additional eye-drops may be prescripted if need be. I'll also prescribe oral antibiotics which you will be taking for ten days, and something for the pain; you can collect it at the office on the way out."

"Got it."

"Good," said the nurse, smiling warmly. "If there's any sign of inflammation, bleeding or increased pain or discomfort, contact the hospital immediately. Sometimes time can make the differences between compete recovery or permanent harm. Please do not hesitate to seek help."

"Thank you. I won't."

"Just a few questions left, and after the ophthalmologist has had a last look at you, you're free to check-out whenever you wish." She turned around to a desk, finding a notebook and pen. "Beyond your confusion last night, do you have additional problems with your memory?"

"No," said Kakashi.

The nurse ticked something. "Pain other than your head and eye?"

"No."

"Nausea?"

The door opened, and a young man stepped in, quietly shutting it after him. Kakashi presumed he was the ophthalmologist. The nurse looked up, but he gestured for them to continue.

"Nausea?" she repeated.

"No– well, yes," he admitted.

The nurse nodded, scribbling it down. "That's to be expected. Rest, and you should recover just fine. Try not to move about too much." She handed the two vials to Gai. "Make sure he takes them."

"I will," said Gai solemnly.

"I will leave you to our ophthalmologist, then." She nodded at her colleague. "You're in good hands. Have a good day, gentlemen." The nurse left the room.

The ophthalmologist approached Kakashi's bed. "Hello," he said, voice soft and gentle. He had a calm, oddly soothing presence. "We met last night, but you may not remember me. I am your eye-surgeon, Dr Hiroaki Huuyga." He held out his hand and Kakashi took it.

"Pleased to meet you, Dr Huuyga."

The man smiled. "I would like to take another look at your eye. Is that alright?"

"Of course."

Dr Huuyga walked closer, gently unclasping the eye patch. "Ready?"

"Yes."

The cloth fell away and darkness gave way to light. Kakashi blinked – his eye started running instantly, and his vision was still blurred, but he could see with it – make out shapes and forms, at least.

"How do you feel?" said Gai.

"It's… okay." It was better than he expected initially, really; but the light hurt his eyes and his vision wasn't much better than it had been yesterday. "My sight's a bit blurry–"

"That is to be expected," said Dr Huuyga. "I must tell you that it's more likely than not that you will need one or several additional surgeries as your eye heals to restore as much as possible of your previous vision. But, we'll see how your eye heals from this surgery, first."

"Okay. And what are the chances of me regaining full vision?"

"It's highly unlikely vision in your left eye be the same as it was before, but hopefully it will be enough for you to lead a normal life."

"And if it's not… would glasses help?"

"Doubtfully. But I wouldn't worry about it just yet."

Dr Huuyga processed to look closely at Kakashi's eye, and ran another few tests. When he was finished he told him everything looked fine and asked Kakashi if he had any questions or confusions regarding his medications or how they should be taken. After receiving a negative he reminded Kakashi to pick up the antibiotics at the office and to be back for a check-up on Thursday.

Then he bid them a good day and left, leaving only Kakashi and Gai in the room – the first time they had been alone since Kakashi woke up.

Gai was the first to speak. "Jiraiya called shortly before you woke up, and said he was on his way to Amegakure. I asked my father to get in touch with him, as we couldn't reach him by phone last night."

"Thank you, Gai."

"Would you like to rest some more before we check out?" said Gai. "There's no hurry."

"No, I'm fine," said Kakashi. "I want to go. If Jiraiya is coming I need to get my things ready."

"'Does Kakashi want to stay in the hospital any longer than what's absolutely necessary?'" Gai snorted. "Why did I even ask?"

They walked out. Kakashi felt a bit dizzy, so he moved slowly, and Gai watched him like a hawk, ready to catch him if he stumbled. Eventually Kakashi gave in and just leaned against his friend for support. It was easier, safer and quicker.

It was first when they had crossed the hospital's parking lot that Gai spoke again. "Should we take a turn around the police station before we head back?" His demeanor was changed; sober, serious, gaze was fixated straight ahead.

Kakashi's stomach twisted into a knot. "No," he said. It came out sounding like a whisper.

Gai didn't say anything more and helped him into the car. Kakashi knew this conversation wasn't over. He needed to speak about it, and tell him this was not Obito's fault. Not this time. But Gai was right – now wasn't the time. They could speak about it after they got back. The ride back was silent.

When they reached Kakashi's apartment Kakashi was so tired he didn't have the energy to speak of the incident. He needed to sleep – and he drifted off almost before Gai had finished tucking him in.

An hour or so later Gai was still there, sitting on a couch with a tight expression when Kakashi woke up. He noted that his backpack had been packed. Definitely Gai's doing, and he had doubtlessly called Jiraiya, again, too – to update him on his state of health, perhaps, or ask him where he was. Kakashi could probably expect to see him here any second. With only a week left of school – and the exams already written last week – there was no real reason for him to stay in Amegakure. He'd get to know the results of his exams sooner or later, and he had no doubt he had at least passed them all.

Looking at Gai, however – who was staring resolutely at the wall in front of him – Kakashi knew he could no longer push up 'the talk'. It was better they had it done and over with before Jiraiya arrived.

He decided to give Gai the opening he was waiting for. "What's on your mind?" he said. His voice sounded hoarse, and he cleared his throat as he sat up carefully.

"You said this wouldn't happen again."

"I–" said Kakashi, but then he faltered. He had thought about what he wanted to say to Gai, but now he didn't seem to know how to say it. How to explain. "It wasn't Obito," he said, quietly.

Something flashed in Gai's eyes. "Oh," he said. "So what, your hand 'slipped' when shaving?" A muscle in his jaw flexed. "Kakashi – that kind of cut," He gestured in his direction, still fuming at the wall, "does not happen by accident."

"It wasn't an accident," said Kakashi, as he got out bed. His balance held, and he only felt a mild nausea at the moment, so that was good. "Or perhaps it was, sort of, as it wasn't anybody's intention that my eye would get in the way. But it wasn't Obito's fault."

He started making his way towards the kitchen. Gai followed him. Thankfully, he was too distracted by their conservation to yell at him for being up and walking.

"What do you mean it wasn't Obito's fault?" bristled Gai. "Since when is it not Obito?"

Kakashi walked into the kitchen and poured some water into his electric kettle. He was on his way to the cupboard when he caught sight of the morning's newspaper at the table.

It was bold in the headlines, but Kakashi hadn't really expected any less.

Nine Dead and Twelve Injured

Gai saw his gaze and sighed. "It happened last night. Giant gun-fight. The Akatsuki is suspected to be involved, but…" Gai shook his head. "It didn't seem like them. It was too organized. It doesn't have their 'feel'. Some say it was a more elaborate plan of revenge, or the work of some terrorist group, but… I don't know. It took the police hours to get under control. It was all over the city – literally." His voice lowered. "Word at the hospital has is Sasori from our school was one of those who died."

Kakashi's fists clenched. There was a moment of silence.

"Don't tell me you got involved in that," said Gai, realization dawning in his voice. "Kakashi?"

Kakashi turned away sharply – the movement made his head spin – and got two cups. He put a teabag in each and poured the now boiling water into them, before he sat down heavily in one of the chairs, inclining his head towards the chair in front of him. Gai gave a frustrated sigh, but sat down.

Kakashi pushed the bowl of sugar towards him.

"Let's just say…" He stirred his tea absently. "…I got between two of the fighters. Literally." He pulled up his teabag, watching the water drip of it, as if it were one of the most fascinating things he'd seen. "…they weren't on the same side," he added helpfully.

Gai groaned.

o o o

It wasn't that Kakashi didn't want to tell Gai the truth. It was just that he didn't know how much to tell. How Gai would react. How to explain. Because he didn't know himself, and the thought of Gai rejecting him was too painful.

Was Kakashi as guilty for the men's death as Obito had been? How would Gai react to the unexpected, calculating coldness, the part of him that had planned to murder for Obito's sake? That had been ready to pull the trigger?

How could he be so cold-hearted as to not even falter at the idea of murdering someone?

The most terrifying part of it all was that the gun had calmed him down. His shaking had stopped when he aimed, visualized himself doing the unthinkable. To take a human life.

Why?

Surely other people did not react like this. Why did he? Was it because of Rin, because he'd already taken a person's life – technically killed, really – that he did not have any claims to do so anymore? Had he already lost his humanity?

Kakashi's fingers gripped into his blanket. He hadn't been shaking then, but he was shaking now. Was he no better than Obito? Did he have the right to judge? What would Gai think if he knew?

Kakashi twisted in his bed. His eye was prickling underneath the eye patch. Kakashi griped over it with his hand, barely resisting the urge to push the heel of his hand against it. Hard.

He would have deserved the pain. He hadn't even attempted to stop the spilling of lives last night.

It should have been a relief to be back at Konoha. To just barely make out the soft snoring sounds of his grandfather in the other room. To be somewhere familiar. Safe. Instead, he felt haunted.

He saw the man Obito shot dying, over and over again. The dark pool of blood grow. His face turning ashen. The gun in his hands, cool and steady. Empowering. The scenes kept replaying, and though it was like torture, he couldn't stop. He felt like screaming. Something was ripping him apart from the inside.

Guilt.

A question he couldn't answer, because suddenly, he did not know.

Who am I!?

I spent a ridiculous amount of time doing research on eye injuries to make this realistic, but ended up hardly writing any about it… *sigh* Just as well, I guess. I'm sure I've still got some mistakes that would make people with more knowledge than I want to face-palm themselves when reading this. :P

I don't dare make any more promises on my updates. Not anymore. But I HOPE my next chapter will be out within two weeks, as I intend to finish this stupid thing before the end of September. I kind of have to, as we're moving again, and I might be unable to use the internet for some time. (Somebody's saving trillions of fanfics on her computer, just in case…)

My family situation is getting better, and I believe things will be even better after the move. Thank you for all the concern and understanding. 3

PS. I apologize for any spelling/grammar mistakes. English is my second language. If memory serves right I got separated from my native English-speaking beta around chapter seven or something.