Chapter Twenty-Five

"Aces, Cress! Ow," said Thorne.

Cress ignored him, as she had every time he'd protested in the last half hour, and pressed the cloth into the torn flesh harder. The anti-septic liquid bit into him again, much like the man's teeth had in the same spot, and Thorne gritted his teeth to keep from crying out again. The pain killers were not taking effect fast enough.

He'd already let every curse known to mankind fly when he'd doused his arm in the stuff. And he had managed to stay fairly still while Cress had attempted to stitch and re-bandage his bullet wound, but that might have been because he'd somewhat regrettably fainted at the sight of the needle she'd found.

"You don't want this bite to get infected," said Cress.

"Forget infection. I don't want rabies! Those things were not human."

Whatever they were, they were still lying dead by the locked hatch. Neither Cress nor Thorne had yet come up with a plan of how to dispose of their bodies. He supposed that, as the ship's Captain, that unhappy task would lie with him.

Now that they were out of immediate danger and hopefully not being followed, Cress had stopped panicking.

Mostly.

They had helped each other with take-off. Thorne tried to do what he could with his feet while he pressed his shirt—off his body and bunched together—into his bullet wound to work on stopping the bleeding. He dictated what Cress had to do with her hands, and along with the auto-control system, they got the Rampion into the air.

Neither of them said anything when they took part of the roof with them and then nearly careened into another police hover that arrived on the scene; they were both yelling too much.

The flight over Paris and into space had made Thorne believe he really was the luckiest man alive.

Now Cress was all business, making him stay flat on the Medbay table while she tortured him with the medical supplies she'd found in the storage closet. He would have almost believed her act if it weren't for the way she blushed sometimes, looking at his bare torso, and the slight, never-ending tremble in her hands.

"It's enough to be concerned about a bullet wound, loss of blood, a broken rib, and possible internal bleeding," Cress continuing, not meeting his eyes. "We'll worry about infectious disease later."

Thorne watched her chew on her lip nervously as she worked. "It's not like I've never broken a rib before. And, believe it or not, I was once beat up when I was thirteen."

"I know," said Cress so matter-of-factly that he had to raise his eyebrow.

"Oh?"

Her cheeks reddened instantly. "I did some research on you. While deciding if you would be the best person to blackmail."

Thorne chuckled at the thought of what she must have found in his records.

"Don't laugh," she said. "You have to rest."

"The wind has already returned to my lungs, though."

Cress gave him a look, which quieted him, but also made the corner of his mouth turn up into a grin.

"I still can't believe the first thing you did was take off that beard," she said, shaking her head. She walked to the supply closet and grabbed some fresh gauze.

"What else was I supposed to do while you did your witchy magic on the ship?"

Cress rolled her eyes and begun cutting the gauze. "More to stop the bleeding. And it's not witchy magic. I'm a Shell. I don't have special powers."

Thorne grinned harder. "Has someone found us yet?"

"No," she said slowly.

"Then you cloaking our ship definitely counts as a special power. And, by the way, I did everything possible to stop the bleeding while we were taking off. If I was going to bleed out and die, it would have already happened by the time we got into space. It only took me two minutes to get the blasted thing off my face. Then I had another twenty minutes to sit here and take a bath in anti-septic."

"Maybe if you would have done that before we took off—"

"And risk us getting captured again? Or more of those wolf men showing up? No way."

"But—"

"Cress." Thorne tried to sit up, but Cress's look kept him down.

When she had finished bandaging his shoulder too, she studied him intently. He knew that besides the parts of him that were now wrapped in white gauze, she was freaking out about all the bruises and cuts that were still visible. Her eyes snagged on his swollen lip, but then moved back to his arm.

"I think we should make you a sling," she said.

"Cress," Thorne tried again.

"Yes?" she said, looking away.

Thorne reached up and took her hand. "You're shaking."

Cress didn't say anything. She looked everywhere except at him.

With a grunt, Thorne sat up, and this time Cress didn't argue with him or try to keep him down. "Hey, look at me."

"I killed two people today," she whispered.

He let go of her hand, and something akin to a sob escaped her mouth. But he was already cupping her chin, tilting it up, forcing her to look at him. Her pretty blue eyes were wet again.

"You did what you had to do," he said. "You saved us."

Cress began to cry in earnest.

Thorne's fingers threaded through her hair until they found the nape of her neck, and he pressed her to his chest. When the movement made him hiss, she jerked away as if she had burned him.

"I'm sorry," she said, sniffing. "I know that must hurt you."

Thorne pulled Cress back to him and held her there, making sure she put her cheek closer to his uninjured arm. He rested his chin against the top of her hair, still damp and wild from the day's events. "I think it hurts me more when you cry."

Telling Thorne everything about her childhood—her real childhood, not the one full of half-truths she'd told him before—had been like lifting a heavy weight off of her shoulders.

The nap she'd finally allowed herself after re-scrambling all the satellite signals while Thorne slept first hadn't hurt either.

Really, it had been more of a bargain she'd struck with him when he'd tried to make her rest first. Though the gesture was chivalrous, Cress figured it was more the pain killers talking. He'd probably taken one too many from the Medbay storage closet. Getting Thorne to stop moving around had been nearly impossible. She had kept her ground though, insisting that she would only rest if Thorne did so first.

She had allowed herself a long shower too, taking some salve with her to the bathroom and cringing as she tried to rub down her scraped up, raw back. Miguel had pushed her hard against the asphalt, to the point where even her dress had rips in it. Putting the salve on her own back was tiring and awkward, but it would have been more awkward to ask Thorne to do it for her.

It had been awkward enough to take care of him and try to keep her eyes from dropping to the contours of his body. Though bruised and cut, he was just as strong as when she'd first seen him without a shirt. And now, with the evidence of the day's events, though it hurt her to see him like that...

It was evidence that he was a hero. He'd never intended to be, and she'd told him many times that he certainly wasn't one, but now it was undeniable.

He had put himself in harm's way for her. Stayed with her throughout the ordeal.

If that wasn't heroic, then she didn't know what was.

And now she had told him everything, except one thing.

Cress took a deep breath and let go of her last secret. "I did some research while I was on the Rampion the last time. While…" She bit her lip. "While you were sleeping."

Thorne made to cross his arms,groaned when he forgot that he couldn't with the makeshift sling she'd finally convinced him to put on, and dropped his hands back down to his sides. Her eyes went instinctively to his arm, but to her relief, the bandage stayed in place and no new blood appeared on the white gauze.

"You already told me you were doing research," he said. "You refused to share what you were researching, though."

Cress pulled on a strand of her hair. If she told him this, he would know just how selfish she really was. Just how much freedom had meant to her.

But he already knew all the other bad things she had done, and so far, he had forgiven her. He had even told her she'd been justified in her actions.

And as she watched him sit there, wearing his Captain's pin again and looking semi-relaxed as he stared into the galaxy, Cress thought that he might just understand this too.

"Queen Levana is trying to infect Emperor Rikan with letumosis."

She watched Thorne's brow crinkle, but then he raised both his eyebrows in a disbelieving manner. "You're sure?"

Cress nodded. "I saw the plans. The letumosis outbreak at New Beijing Palace wasn't a coincidence. She planted Shells in the place who are infected with it."

Thorne sucked in a breath. "You mean…it's biological warfare?"

"And I didn't do anything to stop it," she said. "I didn't do anything. I wanted to get to Earth so badly that I let her infect people."

Thorne reached out and squeezed her hand. Her whole body tingled the same way it did when he'd held her hand in the Medbay. "You have to stop blaming yourself, Cress. What could you have done?"

"I could have told the Emperor."

"Last I heard, he wasn't exactly entertaining Lunars."

Cress stared out at the moon. Luna was closer to her than it had been since she'd left her satellite, but for once, she refused to be frightened by it. She could not return to Luna as a free citizen, but she could not go wherever she wanted on Earth anymore either. Not with the way the newsfeeds were playing the footage of her in Paris captured by the bystanders and labeling her as Thorne's "unknown accomplice."

"I have to go to him now. I have to tell him."

Thorne swiveled in his chair to face her. "Cress, you're no longer just a runaway Lunar. You're wanted. By both the Earthen Union and Luna. And what if Sybil sends more of those fanged men? Who knows if they've got other special powers too."

"I know. But I can't sit around anymore and do nothing." And just like, that she decided. She could make up for some of the wrongs she'd committed along the way by helping the Earthen Union. It was all she could do after helping Mistress Sybil and Queen Levana plot against them for too long. And perhaps, if things went right, she could convince the Emperor to somehow help the other Shells. "I'm going to the Eastern Commonwealth."

"Hmm."

Thorne swiveled away again to face the never-ending view around them. Cress glanced down at his hand then, still holding hers. She knew it was wrong to hope, wrong to think that he was doing anything but trying to comfort her after a traumatic day. They were so different from each other, and too much had happened between them.

She closed her eyes and allowed herself to entertain one last fantasy with him. If a goodbye was still as inevitable as it had always been, then she could at least use some of her newfound bravery for something that didn't involve killing.

With that in mind, she squeezed his hand a little tighter.

Thorne's throat clearing made her look up again.

"We should, uh, probably talk."

Cress nodded and dropped her hand from his. She wrung it around in her lap, the bravery apparently all used up.

"I'm not very good at this."

"Me neither," Cress mumbled.

She was surprised when Thorne laughed. "You're better than you think you are. And that's saying something, for a girl who's spent her life isolated from society."

Cress bit her lip, unsure of how to proceed. She counted the seconds, instead, telling herself that it would be over soon. He would tell her he didn't love her, and then he would drop her off in the Eastern Commonwealth, and then they would part ways.

Maybe he would at least ask her to comm him again sometime.

Maybe this time she would say yes.

"Your eyes make me crazy."

Her heart almost stopped.

"W-what?" she stuttered, daring to look up at Thorne when she couldn't think of anything else he could have said instead of what she'd heard. She found that though he was looking at her intently, but he didn't have that confident composure she was so used to. He was squirming in his seat.

"I mean I like your eyes," he said, clearing his throat again.

"You…"

"Aces, Cress. Don't make me say it again. It's not just your eyes. I like you. But I don't know what to do about that."

Cress's heart had started beating again, too furiously, trying to escape her ribcage. Thorne liked her eyes. Thorne liked her.

"I didn't mean it when I took it back in the hotel. I was just angry and embarrassed because you weren't being nice." She said it all at once, and she hated that it made her vulnerable, but Thorne had tried to be vulnerable to. She owed him the truth.

"I tried to talk to you about it."

"I know. But I still have feelings for you, Thorne. I meant what I said on the hover."

"I thought as much. But it's not that simple."

"It could be."

He sighed. "Normally I'd just kiss you right now. I'd do whatever I felt like. But Cress, you…" He looked up at the ceiling as if it could give him answers. "You're fifteen."

Cress straightened in her chair, trying to look taller than she was. "I'm almost sixteen."

"And I'm almost twenty."

"But we like each other. I don't care how old we are!"

He squirmed in his chair again. "I care, Cress. You've never even met other guys before."

"I've met Miguel!" she said indignantly, but as soon as she'd said it, she knew it was the worst example she could have given. When he cringed, she knew he was thinking the same thing. "You're right," she said dejectedly, hanging her head.

"Stars, please don't be sad, Cress," he said. His hand found his way to her lap, forcing her to stop wringing them when he latched on to her hand again. "We've been through a lot together. It's taken me a long time to come to the conclusion that I like you, and even longer to be able to admit it. After I learned that you were Lunar I thought I'd never want to see you again."

"I wish that I could take it all back."

He shook his head. "Right now I'm wishing that I could keep seeing you." He brought his face close to hers—so close to hers. Letting go of her hand, he traced a pattern on her cheek and smiled. "I want to get to know you, Crescent Moon. Spend more time with you."

His eyes were so focused and so sincere and so blue that she was having trouble forming sentences. It was strange to want him this close to her, when before she had wanted him to stay as far away as possible. Now she was brimming with desire and nerves and elation.

Thorne was not telling her he wanted nothing to do with her. Not only did he like her, he wanted to spend more time with her.

"But I'm—" she whispered, "I'm going to the Eastern Commonwealth."

"So you said," he whispered back.

She gulped. "Are you—are you going to kiss me now?"

Thorne laughed and drew back just slightly. "Believe me, I want to. But I think it's better if we get to know each other for some time without the stress of lies and blackmail between us. You should get used to being on Earth, Cress. Get used to being around other people." He smiled sadly, then. "That is, once we get rid of our ID chips and create new identities again. Kissing should wait."

It was hard not to hide her disappointment. "Oh."

"I also kind of feel like I'm going to throw up."

Cress's eyes widened. "Let's get you back to bed! I told you that you shouldn't be up and about."

"And not give you the chance to fuss over me?" he said, his eyes twinkling. "I'll lay down when I feel like it. Until then, I'm exactly where I want to be." With you, he seemed to add with his eyes.

The thought made her both happy and sad. "But I'm going to the Eastern Commonwealth," she repeated. Her heart told her that what Thorne was telling her was good, but she couldn't see how it could work out. Of course she wanted to get to know him. Of course she wanted to spend more time with him.

"You know, that was where I was originally planning to stay for a while before you made me come get you."

"But you're wanted there." Oh stars, why was she now trying to convince him not to go? What was wrong with her?

"You're wanted now too, remember? No matter where we go, it's going to be a problem."

"You could come talk to the Emperor with me."

Thorne laughed whole-heartedly, the one free shoulder shrugging upward. "Ow," he said, between breaths, trying to adjust the sling. "You never cease to amaze me, Cress. You really think an Emperor will entertain an audience with me?"

"No."

He laughed once more, shaking his head. "Stars, you're cute."

"I know I can find a way, Thorne, but think how much easier it'll be if you help me. You're a criminal mastermind." The expression almost made her giggle, but she managed to suppress it.

"Now you're talking."

"But we'd need a plan. I can start thinking of ways to contact the Emperor. I used to track him all the time so I have all the ID numbers already memorized."

Thorne chuckled. "Okay, Miss Hacker. Time out. We have some time to think of a plan. We don't have to go to the Eastern Commonwealth today."

"Yes, we do. You need to see a doctor."

"I need a break. The Rampion is the safest place to be right now with your satellite skills."

She frowned, not sure if this was the best course of action. She really did want a break, and who knew what would happen once they landed, especially if they didn't have a plan in place to meet with Emperor Rikan. And Cress needed time to download all the files to her new port in order to show the evidence of what she was talking about.

Thorne was right about The Rampion being the safest place, unless her attention to detail had been thwarted by the sound of Thorne cursing and throwing things from the Medbay while she hacked.

She drummed her fingers along the dash. "Fine. We'll stay up here for just a bit until we figure out our plan. But if your injuries start looking worse, we're going down immediately, got it?"

"Got it. We can take the podship in a worst case scenario, but I'm not planning on leaving the Rampion."

She had figured as much. But she wondered, if he had to choose…

She let the thought slip away. Thorne was here with her now, and he was alive, and he had told her that he wanted to spend time with her.

"So you want to do this together?" she dared ask.

She counted five heartbeats before he answered. "Yes. I can't promise anything, with the Emperor or between us but"—he shifted again, leaning closer—"I think we should at least try. I mean, if you want. Let's see what unfolds."

It wasn't exactly everything she had hoped for, and it certainly wasn't what the net dramas looked like when two people were falling in love. But so far, the dramas had been completely deceiving about everything else on Earth too. Maybe giving it a try really was the best thing right now. They could be friends who liked each other, who wanted to see if things should develop between them.

She hoped it meant that she could stare at him whenever she wanted, though. She'd have to bring that up in another conversation sometime.

"I think that could be nice," she conceded.

His arm wrapped around her waist, giving her the closest thing possible to a hug under the circumstances. She didn't cry this time; she just let his closeness fill her with happiness. There was possibility now, and she could allow that possibility to shape her future.

"When we work on our plan," said Thorne after a bit, "I need you to do a thorough net search. The ship's diagnostics are telling me that we dented something during take-off. I'm guessing it happened when we hit the roof."

She nodded. "What should I search for? Specific parts in New Beijing?"

"No, the Rampion needs a delicate touch, so just any old replacement part won't do. I want the best possible care." He tapped the side of her waist lightly. "Cress, we are going to need a mechanic."

The End