A/N: Who knew Tuffnut could sew and write jingles?
Disclaimer: Doesn't art belong to everyone? In general, yes. In particular, no.
From Defenders of Berk, Episode 19: Cast Out, Part 1
"Back in business, ain't it fine?
Doin' curtains all the time."
Curtains made of finest hair,
It's not so hard for yaks to share.
I'm good with fabrics, cloth, and stuff.
My mother says I'm good enough
I could become head weaver soon,
But that would be inopportune
'Cause textiles might be great and all
But I don't have the wherewithal
To stick it out and see it through.
Flying's much more fun to do,
Especially when Ruffnut's mad:
She's got a punch that is so bad
It makes a flight a crazy thing.
Barf and Belch begin to swing
Their heads around and make us sick
(It's kinda' gross and really thick).
Then Hiccup yells at us to quit
Our arguing, and try to sit
As still as rocks. I don't know why;
He's such a weirdo, crazy guy
He speaks in riddles. But then, what hoo?
We're stuck: Barf, Belch, and Ruffnut too,
And me, we're caught inside a net
That someone came out here and set
For unsuspecting Viking dudes.
I'm not sure who; I think they're prudes
For setting such an evil trap.
Now Ruffnut's sitting on my lap;
It's cramped in here, we're out of space.
Barf's breathing gas into my face
And Hiccup's shouting something weird.
But what's his deal? We volunteered
To do this job, and do it well.
When we get out, I'm gonna' tell
The tale of how I saved the group
By loosening the twisty loop
Of rope and getting us out free.
It takes someone who knows, you see,
To pull the thread and save the day.
"That's awesome!" Let me hear you say
The words and then we'll all go off.
And don't you laugh and call it cough,
'Cause Tuffnut really is the best
With fabrics, rope, and all the rest.
If you need textiles on your wall,
Don't be shy, just give a call.
Say, "Tuffnut, someone needs your aid:
The sun is bright, we need some shade."
When Tuffnut comes you'll be surprised,
'Cause Tuffnut will delight your eyes
With curtains, rugs, slipcovers too;
So many choices, all for you
To take your pick and make it right.
I offer shades from black to white
And every color in between.
The brightest shades of blue and green
Are dull compared to cloth I dye.
So step right up and don't be shy
To find the cloth you'd like to try:
The best that all your gold can buy.
A/N: This was so much fun to write! Please keep those reviews coming.