I climb the stairs, following the path of flour-laden footprints straight to the bathroom, which doesn't surprise me one bit. The door is wide open, and I stand in the doorway, leaning up against the jamb, trying not to make a sound. Tobias is on his knees giving Tyler a bath and looks like he's in desperate need of a shower himself. His normally dark curly hair actually looks like it grayed prematurely overnight but I know better. It's obviously from the flour explosion that happened downstairs.
I watch as the love of my life helps his little brother in the tub and my heart swells with love until I think it's going to burst. Tobias has already proven to me what an absolutely wonderful father he is going to be based on how he interacts with Tyler. He treats him with such love, kindness, and patience that it boggles my mind that he worries at all about Marcus' negative influence.
"You ready to get out, buddy?" Tobias asks after rinsing conditioner out of Tyler's hair with the handheld shower. "Tris should be home at any minute, and I really want to get that mess in the kitchen cleaned up. We don't want her to come home to a mess, do we?" Tyler just keeps splashing away and giggling like he doesn't have a care in the world, letting me know that he isn't anywhere near close to wanting to get out of the tub at all. He's having too much fun.
"What in the world have my boys been doing this morning that caused such a disaster downstairs?" I ask, finally letting them know I'm here. Tobias looks at me over his shoulder with a shocked and slightly apologetic look on his face.
"Twis home, Fo. Twis home," Tyler repeats time and again while splashing his hands in the water excitedly. I walk into the bathroom and kneel down beside Tobias.
"He obviously isn't finished with his bath and isn't ready to get out," I say with a genuine smile, brushing some of the flour out of Tobias' hair. "Why don't I stay here with him and you can go downstairs and clean up that horrible mess in the kitchen and living room, and don't forget all the footprints. They led me straight to you." I can't help but laugh. "You can tell me all about what happened later!" I lightly run my hand down the side of his face and surprise lights his eyes. I can count on one hand the number of times I touched him these past few weeks.
"Did you have a good morning with Christina?" he asks with a smile. "Did you get all the wedding arrangements finalized?" I can tell he would like to ask me something else but instead he decides to take advantage of my rare good mood. He draws my mouth to his and kisses me quickly but tenderly. A splash hits us in the face, and we both turn and look at Tyler and his angel face.
"Did you just splash us?" I ask, tickling him. For some reason he isn't too fond of watching us kiss. He just laughs in response. "Christina and I had a really nice time. A couple days before the wedding I'll have the final dress fitting. She says everything else is totally under control. Everyone has RSVP'd so I don't have to make any phone calls. Oh, she told me Caleb is apparently bringing a date."
"Cara?" he asks, getting up off the floor with a groan. He even sounds like an old man at the moment.
"I honestly don't know. I haven't seen Caleb or talked to him since we left the hospital over five weeks ago," I say. "I assume it's her but I told Christina not to say anything, and I don't think we should either. I don't want to get Will's hopes up that he'll get to see his sister and have Caleb show up with a total stranger."
"That's smart," he says. "I'm going downstairs now to clean up. Tyler, you listen to Tris. When she says it's time to get out, don't argue with her."
"Otay, Fo," he says with a warm smile, love radiating out of his eyes. Tyler and I play for a while with the boats we recently bought him that are specifically designed to be used in the bath. We race them all around the tub, Tyler's tug boat beating my houseboat each time. He thinks it's great and keeps laughing. When I can no longer feel my feet below me because I've been sitting on them to long, I think it's time to get him out and dried off. He's very good and doesn't fight me one bit. I dress him in comfortable clothes that won't be too warm since he's going to the park with Zander and his family this afternoon while Tobias and I attend Robert and Dad's interrogations at Candor.
Unfortunately, they are both open to the public, and I imagine there will be quite a turn out, especially since Dad is the leader of the council. I think people are intrigued as to why he's being questioned at all since there has been no news of wrong doing ... yet. Erudite has kept their promise and not released any of the anonymous reports about Dad but some of Caleb's colleagues are faunching at the bit to let the entire city know all of Andrew Prior's sins. But I'm more interested in hearing why Robert attacked my dad. What made him do it, and is he working alone or with someone? It's such an odd situation. My stomach growls letting me know that it's lunchtime. I've only had a stale blueberry muffin and a cup of lukewarm coffee in the boutique with Christina this morning. No wonder my stomach is letting me know it wants fed.
"Shall we go downstairs and get Four then head to the cafeteria for something to eat?" I ask. Tyler energetically bobs his head up and down at me then takes off like a wild man down the stairs.
"Tyler!" Tobias and I say at the same time. I decide to let him continue. "You know you aren't supposed to run up and down the stairs. Tris and I love you very much, and we don't want you to get hurt because you slip and fall down the stairs. The next time you run in the house I'm going to take a toy away. Do you understand?" Tyler lowers his eyes and sticks his bottom lip out pouting but he nods his head at his brother.
"Sowwy, Fo," he says. "Sowwy, Twis."
"I know you're sorry, Tyler," I say, ruffling his hair. "Just remember to walk the next time you get excited, okay?"
"Otay," he says.
"Hey, are you two ready for some lunch?" Tobias asks. He must have cleaned himself up while Tyler and I were in his room getting him dressed. "I'm starved, and I imagine Tyler is too. We didn't get breakfast, did we, buddy?" Tyler shakes his head as he takes my hand. "We had an issue with the mixer." Tyler giggles manically at that.
"Snow," he says between snorts. I furrow my eyebrows at Tobias. He has a sheepish look on his face.
"The mixer flung flour everywhere," he says. "I was trying to make some muffins but the mixer got stuck and kept throwing the ingredients everywhere, especially the flour. At one point it actually looked like a blizzard was slowly moving through the apartment. Tyler looked like a ghost. He was covered from head to toe. I couldn't help but laugh." I can't fault him for that, I probably would have too. "I imagine we need a new mixer. It wouldn't stop. I finally had to unplug it." Small kitchen appliance malfunction? I guess it makes sense.
Tyler walks between Tobias and me holding each of our hands, jumping everything that he can on our way to the cafeteria for lunch with our friends. I swear he's midair most of our trip. When we reach the cafeteria, we let him go, and he sprints directly to our table and sits where Tobias and I normally do and starts talking to our friends. We just look at each other, smile, and laugh. He reaches his hand out and I take it and let him lead me to our table.
"Hi, guys," I say as Tobias and I sit down next to Tyler. Our friends greet us happily with a chorus of hellos.
"Bite?" Tyler asks Christina, leaning up against her arm, looking at her with puppy dog eyes. She gives him half her dinner roll. Poor baby is hunger. I fix him a plate first like I normally do but give him slightly more food. He digs into the barbecue chicken, and we have to tell him to slow down. We spend so much time doing our own thing on Sunday's that I forgot how good the comfort food the chef fixes is. I choose barbeque chicken, scalloped potatoes with ham, mixed vegetables, and baked apples while Tobias picks fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, mixed vegetables, and apple salad with grapes and walnuts. I eat so much that I'm absolutely stuffed. Tyler leans up against my side after his sliver of cake and actually falls asleep.
"Are you two excited for next week?" Shauna asks.
"I'm nervous about the wedding," I say. "I'm not entirely comfortable being the center of attention and all eyes usually focus on the bride. I hope my morning sickness doesn't pick that moment to make itself known or I'll probably throw up in front of all our guest."
"Don't worry about anyone looking at you, Tris," Zeke says with a grin. I furrow my brows at him. "I'm going to be dressed in a tux so everyone's going to be admiring how handsome I am." He pretends to straighten a tie as Tobias stands and knocks him in the shoulder.
"You're an idiot," Tobias says. "I think I've made a horrible mistake. Who else can stand up with me?"
"Oh, no you don't," Christina says with real panic in her eyes. "You two can hate each other from now until the end of time but there will be no substitutions. You got it?" Everyone looks at her like planning this wedding is too much for her and she's lost her poor mind.
"Christina," Will says slowly, laying his arm across her shoulders, pulling her to his side. "He was just giving Zeke a hard time. Nothing's going to ruin the wedding." You would think Will was talking to a nervous bride right now instead of the wedding planner! Maybe she isn't the anomaly here, maybe it's me.
"I'm excited," Tobias says, looking at me out of the corner of his eyes. "I can't wait until I can officially call Tris my wife." He's so romantic sometimes. I lean my head against his shoulder being careful not to wake Tyler up.
"Speaking of official, what's your name going to be?" Lynn asks with real interest.
"Tris," I slowly say, keeping my face straight knowing full well that's not what she meant. She rolls her eyes dramatically at me.
"Come on," Uriah says. "What's your last name going to be? You can tell us. What are people in Dauntless going to call you and you kids?"
"Her last name, as well as the name of our kids, will be my last name, of course," Tobias says. "But their public name will be Prior ... as will mine." Tobias and I had a conversation recently about what my name would be. I told him I wanted to be Tris Eaton but since that would give away one of his secrets, we compromised on hyphenating our names ... Prior-Eaton. There's a lot of groans around the table.
"I thought we'd finally get a clue as to your true identity, Four," Ciara says. I give her props for her honesty.
"Maybe one day," he says.
"The interrogation is at 3:00 p.m., right?" I ask Tobias. "Should we take him home so he can nap until Zander picks him up for his playdate?"
"That sounds like a great idea," he says. "We're going to get this little guy home for a nap."
"It was nice to have you all here for lunch," Zeke says. "We'd like to see you more often on Sundays."
"I forgot how good the food is on Sundays," I say. "We'll have to eat with you guys more often."
"Everything was wonderful and the company was pleasant, as usual," Tobias says, carefully lifting Tyler so he can sleep on his shoulder. "Except for you, Zeke."
"Ha ha!" he says with a roll of his eyes. We say our goodbyes and head home. When we reach the apartment, Tobias takes Tyler to his room to nap then comes to sit on the couch next to me.
"I talked to Christina today ... about that night," I say, slowly raising my head to look him in the eyes.
"You hadn't talked to her about it before?" he asks with shock on his face. "I guess I just assumed she was the one person you would talk to about it."
"I didn't talk to anyone about it until I started talking to Isobel," I softly say. "I finally told Christina what happened and she made me realize I didn't give an emotional account so she made me talk about how what he did made me feel. It helped. I would like to tell you my story also. We're getting married next week. I may not consider this a secret but I don't want him to come between us." He nods his head at me then I repeat what I told Christina.
"I'm sorry, Tris," he says, hanging his head when I finish. "I thought I knew what happened but he got further than I let myself imagine."
"Maybe I shouldn't have told you," I whisper painfully. I hate hurting him, and here I am hurting him once again.
"I'm glad that you felt comfortable enough with me to share how he made you feel and how you're feeling now," he says staring deeply into my eyes, penetrating my soul. He slowly wipes a stray tear off my cheek. "I promise you this, Beatrice Grace, when I find him, he's dead. You'll never have to fear him ever again."
"I won't lie. I would give anything to hear the news that Peter Hayes is dead but promise me you won't have anything to do with it," I plead. "If you kill him, they'll take you away from me, and I wouldn't survive that." He frowns at me.
"I will never do anything to jeopardize us ... our family," he says. "I promise."
"She also made me see that I need to forgive myself so that I can move on," I say.
"What do you need to forgive yourself for?" he asks.
"I should have went with you when you asked me," I say. "I need to forgive myself. People keep telling me it's not my fault but if I hadn't been there alone in that room, it wouldn't have happened."
"You don't know that," he quietly says. "I don't want to scare you, that isn't my intention but you said he was drunk and angry. What makes you think he wouldn't have cornered you somewhere else at a different time, alone or not? Would you think it was your fault because you were taking Tyler to daycare or meeting the girls at the boutique or we were going on a date?" I put my head on his shoulder.
"I know you're right but how do I stop beating myself up for not coming with you?" I say. "How do I stop pulling away from you when all I truly want is to get closer? How do I stop tensing up when all I want to do is relax."
"Tris, I'm sorry," he says. "Why haven't you told me any of this before?"
"I don't want to hurt you, Tobias," I say, moving so I can see in his eyes once again. "It kills me when I see pain in your eyes after I push you away. I'm having trouble understanding why you're still here with me. I wasn't kidding when I asked if you wanted to postpone the wedding. I'm going to ask you again if you want out. I'll understand." He sighs.
"Why would you ask me that?" he asks, trying his best not to get angry but not quite managing it. "Have I done something to make you think that the only reason I'm with you is sex?" The look in his eyes makes me feel ashamed. "You may not believe this but if we never make love ever again, I'm okay with that. I am completely head over heels in love with you ... you. I'm not me without you. Why would I give you up? Please stop asking me to do that." We are quiet for a long time.
"I'm not ready to have sex yet, Tobias," I whisper, suddenly flashing back to a conversation early in our relationship when being intimate with him was one of my greatest fears. The thought of going through my fear landscape to figure out my true feelings tickles the corners of my mind but I don't think I would survive if I find out I'm Seven again. "I want you to do something for me. I want you to kiss me. Don't be afraid that you'll scare me. I want you to kiss me like you mean it." His mouth crashes into mine in a need-filled kiss. He may say he's fine without making love but this kiss says something entirely different to me. The kiss slows then he moves away from me. I smile at him. It's the first time in weeks that I feel comfortable with physical contact. I run my hands down his face and pull his mouth back to mine. I lean my body into his and kiss him leisurely. I run my tongue along his bottom lip, and he automatically opens his mouth to me. After kissing for a time, I tentatively thrust my tongue in his mouth, searching his out, and we let them dance. I feel his hands on my waist but they never wander, they just tighten and release in sync with the rhythm of our mating tongues. When we can no longer breathe, we break apart but I don't leave his arms. I can't stop smiling. No one kisses like Tobias. A thought crosses my mind and my eyes narrow.
"I want you to touch me," I say, barely above a whisper. He furrows his eyebrows at me.
"Are you sure, Tris?" he asks, worry thick in his voice.
"I'm sure. Please touch me." One of his hands leaves my waist, and I see it trembling out of the corner of my eye. I take it and gently place it on my breast. My heart immediately starts to pound, and my instinct is to push him away but I fight it. He slowly moves his mouth to my neck and starts to kiss the sensitive spot beneath my left ear and I relax slightly. His hand gently kneads my aching breast with a loving tenderness for a time. I was right, no one touches me like Tobias. I can actually feel his love for me in each caress. I put my hand on his, lace our fingers together, and move them to his knee. That's enough experimenting for one day. He stops kissing my neck and kisses my cheek sweetly.
"Are you okay? I didn't scare you did I?" he asks.
"I learned something or maybe the correct statement is I realized something. No one kisses me like you do, Tobias, and no one has ever touched me the way you do," I say with tears in my eyes. "Yes, I was anxious but I could feel how much you love me with just your tender touch. I know that may sound crazy but it's how I feel. I just need some time but I'm coming to understand that you're okay with that."
"Of course, I'm okay with that. I love you," he says with an intense look on his face. "More than anything."
"I love you, too," I say. I hear soft footsteps on the stairs and see Tyler peeking around the corner. I nudge Tobias in his side, and he sees where my eyes are looking. Soon we both hear giggling. I'm sure Tyler thinks he's being quiet but he's not. Tobias soundlessly slides off the couch and walks over to the stairs and snatches up the giggling toddler with a chuckle. I'm laughing as loudly as they both are. Tobias brings Tyler to the couch and he climbs onto my lap.
"Hi, baby," he says leaning over to kiss my tummy. He saw Tobias do the same thing a week or so ago and questioned him about it. So we made the decision to tell Tyler that I'm having a baby, and he seemed to understand. Now he randomly kisses my growing belly.
"Did you have a nice nap?" I ask and he smiles brightly at me.
"Yep," he says. A knock on the door tells me it's almost time for Dad's interrogation and I become anxious.
"Zander is here to pick you up, Tyler," Tobias says on his way to answer the door. Tyler starts bouncing up and down in my lap, and I put him on the floor.
"Tyler!" Zane says running into our living room. The best friends hug each other tightly.
"Zane, don't make me sorry I brought you with me," Zander says.
"Sorry, Daddy," he says over his little shoulder.
"Tyler, are you ready to go?" Zander asks. "We're going to the park then get ice cream in the city before coming home. I'll call when we get back."
"If we aren't home yet from Candor yet, can you keep him until we return?" Tobias asks.
"Of course," he says. "Let's go, boys." Tobias and I grab our phones then we all walk to the garage together.