10 GOLDEN RULES FOR PEOPLE WITH FLOWER NAMES
1. You should be outraged, nay appalled, when your friends and allies are on the receiving end of practical jokes, insults, random vicious attacks, pranks, derisory comments or cruel tricks. You should feel free to voice this disgust vehemently, creatively and often.
2. However if such things happen to people you don't like then it's fine and dandy. Amusing even.
3. If given a bouquet of your namesake for Saint Valentines Day, or any other reason, you are allowed to be as bitter, twisted and infuriated about it as you like. Frankly, it's a trite, contrived idea and a nauseating sentiment which neither you, nor anyone else, should ever have to tolerate. (Possible exception made in the case of girls named 'Rose' on Valentines day. Because that's trite and contrived for completely different reasons.)
4. If some innocent commentator should happen to mention the fact that your namesake has particular relevance in a particular Shakespeare play where it is referred to by it's other name of 'love-in-idleness', and that this is a surprisingly coincidental reflection on your character, you may not blame them for the observation. It was your parents who gave you the name and raised you to suit the description. Blame them. Leave the innocent Shakespeare fans alone, it's not their fault you're utterly dependant on other people and largely useless.
5. In fact, expanding upon number four, if anyone should happen to comment on the relevance of your namesakes' plant properties in relation to your personality, you are not permitted to complain about it. Everyone else has their name-meanings brought into question and analysed at one time or another and you are no exception. Deal with it.
6. For reasons which no one is entirely clear on, you should be very hard to please when initially meeting someone. In fact your standards should be so incredibly high that only two or three people have actually met them when they first crossed your path. When, at last, they do enter your good graces; you should protect them like a Territorial Pit-bull and maintain that they can do no wrong. This is, after all, the mature and realistic approach to new people which everyone should try to achieve.
7. Girls who walk around with examples of their namesake worn in their hair on any part of their person, lose the right to complain when comparisons between them and the plant life in question are taken 'too literally'.
8. Curiously enough, no one with a flower name is ever a brunette… Funny that.
9. While the phrase "The Flower of…" (e.g. The Flower of Our Generation) can be used to mean the best example, the prime representative, the crème de la crème, etc; the fact that you're named after a flower does not automatically mean you fall into this category. Please stop acting like it does. Incidentally, 'flower' may also be used in relation to virginity but if either you or anyone else does refer to it as such: Curse them.
10. If there is a propensity for naming girls in your family after flowers, do not, I repeat DO NOT, attempt to continue this practise if and when you have a male child. I do not care how butch looking your kid is, any ten-year-old boys walking around with the names "Tulip" and "Daisy" are going to get beaten up.