Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters portrayed in this story…Disney and Square Enix (or SquareSoft) do…The plot is mine, though.
To my reviewers (and readers!): Hey hey! Just thought I'd let you know that the day I started writing this was July 1st…CANADA DAY! So, happy 142nd birthday Canada! You're pretty sweet and all that.
Silence.
Beautiful, blissful, earth-shattering silence.
The words just kept coming, never stopping, just giving her enough time to digest the entire story of his life. Squall told her everything: the Heartless and what they were after, Sora, the Keyblade, his connection to all of that, who he had met and how and why and what it really meant when the stars began to fall up into the sky. He had told her how he got there and what he had been doing and thinking and dreaming and what his name was and what he had said to Yuffie and what she had did for him. Because she had to know why he was late.
He was late because he had been off doing his new duty, his new commitment, trying to forget about what had happened and trying to redeem himself for abandoning them for a second time. He told her this too. He was late because he couldn't find the energy to look around anymore…he was too weak to continue and too weak to face up to his faults. He was late because he had made Sora and the Heartless and Ansem his top priority, instead of her. He told her this too, while his heart was threatening to explode and while his ears began to ring.
Even though she had told him that being late was fine, he was still late because he chose to be late…that was the problem. He made something more important than them…and he supposed that's why all of this and that and him and her and everything else bothered him so much. He had willingly stopped looking for them all those years ago; he had and nothing could change that, and he made sure that she understood this, because he was here to make everything right. Even when it hurt to finally say it out loud.
And just when he thought his mouth couldn't move anymore, just when he thought that it couldn't hurt any more, all the words were out. Every thought, every syllable, was out in the open, touching her ears and making her understand. His story. Everything that he had been doing up until now and everything he had been avoiding. She knew. That was the point, right? One of those moments he wanted back? That the day when he found them, he would explain and tell them the stories of his life? To make sure that Rinoa would understand? To finally get years and years of his self-doubt and disappointment and grief and worthlessness off his heart?
Hyne… His heart was pounding loudly, not believing he had said all of that. And now, all he could do was wait, trying hard to keep his hands from shaking, for her response. Because he had finally done his part, hadn't he? He had finally said it, right? That was truth, wasn't it? All of this was truth. …but…why don't I feel…? Squall exhaled the breath he had been holding, counting the seconds in his head, as he waited for Rinoa to say something, anything, to his story. She had to say something. Because he didn't think he could handle her storming off, angry and upset, and giving him the silent treatment for his actions. Not now.
Even though, his mind mused, he had given her every right to. He told her that he had given up on them, unable to find them in the early years. He told her that it wasn't really his actions that brought him here, it was Yuffie with a lot of luck and none of his permission and all of his reluctance because he didn't want any more regret. He didn't want to know that all the years he spent away from them could have been used to find them because they were alive. He told her that if it hadn't been for Yuffie, he would have never started again…and of course, he told her that he had still failed them this way. Because what kind of person does that?
…I believed…you were gone…I had accepted that because…I didn't want the guilt anymore…that shame of not being able to find you… Squall took a deep breath in, teeth starting to chatter together as he held back his shame. …and how…easy it was for me…to do that…to change my name…and pretend……Hyne…a coward's way out… He had told her this as well, making sure she understood, because that was truth. And she deserved to know at least that. She deserved to know what kind of man he had become.
As he sat, body shaking slightly, he knew that she had every right to never speak to him again. To slap him. To walk away and demand that he leave her home because people like him weren't welcome there. Not people like him, refusing to look for the ones who they supposedly loved because of pride and not wanting to be wrong and hurt. Not people like him, where there would be no Purgatory waiting but only darkness and brimstone.
And even though he cringed at that thought, that tiny part of him whispered that that's all he really deserved anyway. Because he had done a horrible thing to his friends from Garden. Because he had done a terrible thing to his friends in Hollow Bastion. Yuffie went out of her way to devise a search for him because she cared and she didn't want him to be sad anymore. She had gotten him here and all he did was yell at her, blame her, for not letting him do it himself. It was odd, really, because wasn't he the one who gave up on all of that? Wasn't he the one who preferred not to think back to that because all he would think about would be his failure? …a coward's way out…
It was so strange now, because all of that circular thinking that was coming back from that part of him was being contradicted by a voice he never thought he would hear again. …Rinoa… A voice that he had given up looking for, but still, the voice of the woman he loved. But there was still that choice that he had made, that nagging choice that a part of him wouldn't let him forget. Because he had been wrong. He hadn't looked hard enough in Olympia; he had no excuse for not finding Zell and Quistis earlier. He hadn't tried hard enough and he had given up too easily because he was so weak. But he had truly believed that they were gone, hadn't he? Even though that's not really an excuse and even though people can't really just vanish, right?
…Hyne…may my sins…be forgiven… Squall closed his eyes and tried not to think about her tear-streaked face. Or the silence. Or the glaring contradictions, his loopholes, in the ways he had been thinking for all this time. Because everything was backwards and upside-down and nothing was straight and obvious anymore and he could feel his temples throbbing as his mind tried to work through the mess he had made. Because it was a big mess, and not even sleeping or working or ignoring it would make it go away. Was this the hard part? Was this confusion the hard part his head warned him about?
But all of this stopped when Squall felt pressure on his fingertips. The gears stopped moving and everything went silent and his heart was pounding and he was pretty sure his ears were ringing because someone was thinking about him. This was it. Immediately, his eyes snapped open and he turned to face her. Her dark eyes greeted him with a look that he couldn't name. But it made his hands stop shaking because it wasn't disappointment or disgust or anger. …why…isn't…? But then again, wasn't this supposed to be the hard part?
Rinoa blinked slowly, allowing her mind some more time to wrap itself around his words. …seven years… She wasn't really sure how to feel; on the one hand, he had given up looking for them, even though he had the equipment and the know-how to move around. And her heart hurt when that part sunk in. …but… On the other hand, he had been trying to fix all of this, the entire universe, with that boy and that weapon and all of that stuff she still couldn't understand completely. He had been doing something noble with his time.
And it wasn't like she could tell him that he should have been looking for them…because seven years was a long time and she didn't think she could ask him to keep walking around when she had not moved herself. And it was sort of understandable, because seven years was a long time to keep looking for uncertain existences, wasn't it? But a part of her soul still hurt because he had stopped. He had stopped because he thought they were gone and he couldn't keep looking around when his trips kept coming back empty-handed and kept solidifying his incorrect thinking… But, Squall Leonhart…Commander Squall Leonhart, her Knight, had given up.
But he had tried, hadn't he? He had tried for a long time…and got discouraged…and disheartened…and couldn't keep looking around to only see empty houses and strangers. …I don't even know…how he could have handled all of that… And doesn't that count for something…? But he had given up on them. He had chosen to ignore that part of his life because it hurt too much. He had chosen to start over, which was good, but to push all of them out of his head forever? Wasn't that the wrong way to deal with something like that?
Her heart pounded, conflicted. …seven years…a new life…and so many stories… And his friends…and what he had said to Yuffie, the very person who had made this conversation possible…that part hurt too, because that friend had only been trying to help and she thought that Squall had learned from them. He had started over, but not let go of his destructive thoughts. Rinoa sighed, staring at him, heart unbalanced. …I've never seen…your eyes this…sad before… The thought made her heart squeeze. His story had been difficult to tell, she knew. Because this moment, one he thought he could never get back, had come…and what could he say to the people he had stopped looking for, anyway? …and…what can I say to that?…To all of that?
Realizing probably a few seconds too late that her silence was torturing him, Rinoa blinked again. "Squall, I—" Her mouth opened and closed a few times, with no sound coming. She swallowed thickly, trying to arrange her thoughts coherently so that she could give him something, but failed. "…I…don't know what to say…"
She saw the hurt in Squall's eyes, the dark thoughts creeping back into his irises, and knew that that was probably the wrong thing to state. No…wait…don't think… "…Squall…please…don't look at me like that…" She moved her hand to his face, touching his cheek softly. …I don't…I don't know how I feel yet… "I…I just……That was a lot to take in…"
He winced at her compassionate tone, anxiety blasting every nerve. …why…isn't she angry…at what I've done…? Squall swallowed thickly, looking away from her brown eyes, feeling unsettled and confused. …why…isn't she upset…? Wasn't she supposed to be angry? Wasn't her reaction to his story, his excuses, part of his fear? Part of all of that thinking he had promised her that he would stop? …why…doesn't she hate me…for what I've done? …Why did it seem so simple now when all this time, he had been preparing himself for the steepest uphill climb? Wasn't all of this supposed to be hard? "…Rinoa…" His jaw shook, unable to ask her the question in his thoughts because the hand was about to squeeze his heart into plasma.
She noticed the change in expression on his face as his words stopped. She watched as his forehead crinkled, his body language as he turned from her. …are you…angry…? "What is it, Squall?" Rinoa's voice was louder now, leaving her puzzled feelings to be dealt with later because even though it had been seven years, she didn't think she could ever forget the way his mind worked. …why…are you looking at me like that…?
Squall's lips were pressed together in a thin line, teeth clenched to keep his jaw from shaking. Because wasn't an angry outburst what he deserved? Didn't she hear him? He had given up on them; that was a fact that she couldn't derail him from. He had changed his name because he was ashamed of that part of his life. Of them. And what he couldn't do for them all those years ago. That had been his choice, his mistake…so why hadn't she slapped him or yelled at him or told him to get away from her yet? …why don't you hate me…when I have given you every reason to? Why…was she making this so easy?
"…Why…" His voice was small and quiet and nothing like she had ever heard, but he knew he had to ask her or else he would never know and he would be right back where he started, wouldn't he? Squall's heart sped up as the words finally left his lips, the universe holding in its laughter towards the coward who couldn't seem to get his head on straight. "…why aren't you…angry…?"
Now, it was Rinoa's turn to frown. …what? There was a pause and Squall braced himself. He bowed his head and stared at the wood under his feet. This was it. Truth. For abandoning them and all his actions towards them and Yuffie, he would get what he deserved. Her voice came to him, almost sounding exhausted, but the words were not what he was expecting. "…Do you want me to be angry with you?"
The words hit him hard but Squall couldn't find the strength to face her. Because he was still a coward, wasn't he? And his voice, staying true to his character, came out small and defeated and uncertain. Because he didn't know what he wanted anymore. He didn't know if he deserved both and he didn't know what he should be feeling because he had made too many mistakes with the people he loved and he supposed that this was his punishment. All this uncertainty, the very thing all those schedules and routines were supposed to protect him from. "…Rinoa. I—"
His reply died in his throat when he felt Rinoa let go of his hands and move away from him. He winced, because this was going to be the hard part. This would be the part where he would ask for her forgiveness, even though it wouldn't come. And it would hurt, even though he deserved it, and even though he had been preparing for that rejection for seven years, right? Squall waited to hear her footsteps, those creaks in the wood as she moved away from him, but they didn't come. …why… hasn't she…walked away…?
Slowly, he tilted his head up towards her face and saw her standing up on the step next to him. Moving quickly, with his eyes and head following her, she maneuvered her body so that she found herself standing in front of him, on the step that was below the one he was sitting on. …Squall… She crouched down slightly, keeping her balance between his spaced out knees, and holding her frown. …I want you to stop… I want you to stop all of this… "You know…I think…you want me to be angry with you."
Squall remained silent, not wanting to verbally agree at how ridiculous he sounded. She raised an eyebrow at him, but still, he did not see any anger in her eyes. It was still dark pools of brown with the tiny white spot in the middle of it all. Truth. "Well, listen here," she continued, "If you want me to be angry with you, I won't be. Because I'm not." Each word was punctuated with a finger pointed in his direction.
His lips trembled, looking at her and her eyes. But he couldn't let that thought go. He had given her every right to be mad…so why…was she making this so easy? He had told her all of his faults and she had just…accepted all of them, without blinking, it seemed. She was supposed to be mad, wasn't she? She was supposed to be yelling and screaming at him and asking him how he could do that to his friends, wasn't she? Squall let out his breath again, trying to understand the mess he had made. "…Why…not?"
…Oh, Squall…why are you thinking this way…? Rinoa noticed his conflict as he tried to keep eye contact. "Because I'm not…" She shrugged at him, giving him a tiny smile, but her tone did not lose its edge. "Besides, I don't want to satisfy any little self-fulfilling prophecy you have going on in your head right now, okay?"
Steel-blue eyes focused on her feet. …what's…wrong with me…? Squall found his mouth opening and closing, but still, no sound. Even though all his logic was pointing to the fact that she should be angry with him, it wasn't true. Rinoa was looking at him without a spot of anger in her eyes. But she should be. Her reaction, her angry reaction, her rejection of him from all the horrible and terrible things that he had done, was his fear. It was what kept him away because he didn't want to face up to those faults because he didn't want her to change what she thought about him...but since when had he cared about what other people thought of him, anyway?
But why hadn't it happened like it should have? …like…I expected it……Why wasn't this hard? Why was she…so…accepting…of everything that he had done? …when…she shouldn't be… Wasn't her anger something that he deserved…for his abandonment? For his words to Yuffie? Because wouldn't that be justice? For his sins, he would not be able to keep this happiness and this moment? Wasn't that what he deserved? He blinked slowly, making words come out of his mouth as the thoughts kept spinning around the Grand Hall. "…I …don't…understand."
"I'm not angry with you."
"But…" Squall blinked again, feeling those thoughts pile up in his head as if there was quicksand in his skull. His lips couldn't move fast enough, his neurons weren't firing correctly and all the words and emotions he wanted to say were being stalled. This wasn't making sense because she was supposed to be mad…right? "…But, Rinoa…I…"
He heard her sigh as the words kept pushing through the sand. "Squall. Listen to me. I'm not angry with you."
His mouth opened and closed a few times, unable to believe what he was hearing. His ears were ringing and the next thing he knew, his voice came out loud, the words finally making it. "—But why not?!" There was a flash in his eyes as his confusion fueled his anger but Rinoa leaned closer to him, unfazed. Squall swallowed thickly at her closeness, memorizing the detail on her face that the moonlight allowed, and another part of his conflicted mind reminded him that this was a moment he wanted back, wasn't it? As they stared at one another, the question came again, albeit this time quieter. "…why…aren't you angry with me? …I've done…a terrible thing…"
"Because I'm not. I'm not saying that I agree with your actions, but I'm not angry." She explained, sighing again. Rinoa saw her opening, grit her teeth, and pushed on. "...You're Squall Leonhart. The strongest person I know. You've been using your time wisely…helping that boy…and you've been making friends and you've had quite life and I just don't understand why…you aren't proud of all of that… Why can't you see what I see?
"You've been trying to get everything in the entire universe the way it was and that counts for something... That's major!" Rinoa huffed, trying to get through to him and trying not to cry, because the thought of him giving up on them still hurt just a little bit. "…You made a decision, Squall. When you went back to Yuffie and that guy…Cid, you made a decision. You weighed your options and you debated and you challenged…and I can't imagine how hard it was for you…but you couldn't go on like that…I wouldn't have wanted you to…
"…You made a choice. You knew the odds. A—And even though…it doesn't seem right at this moment, when you made that decision…you decided on what was best for you at that time. And I can't ask any more of you…because that's just not fair to you..."
Eyes still on the ground, Squall countered her, that tiny voice taking a hold of him and laughing. "…but I was wrong. I…I should have kept looking…because you were still here…I made the wrong decision…I changed my name, Rinoa, because I didn't want to tie myself in any way to the things I gave up on…"
"But you're human, Squall…and I wouldn't have wanted you to run yourself into the ground looking…" She spoke softly. "You are my Knight, Commander, top ranked SeeD…but you are still human and I can't blame you for not finding me the first time. The universe is much bigger than any of us could have even imagined. We are just…so tiny and insignificant in comparison to all of that and I can't be mad at you for not finding me because the odds are so small…and this moment, in itself, is a miracle...
"And anyway, h—how can you be so sure that it was the wrong choice…? You don't know what would have happened if you decided not to join those two that day. We might have never met at all…You might have been killed if you hadn't joined those two, for all we know…Yuffie wouldn't have made this search and this m—moment wouldn't have come… and what then? You would still…be sad…and you would still have those thoughts telling you that you failed…
"…I'm glad that you're here now, Squall." Rinoa's lip trembled, mind reeling from her hurt and her happiness. She quickly wiped away the stray tears before they fell too far down her face. "I'm glad to hear…that you've made a new life for yourself…I'm really glad that you made friends and what you're doing and all of that…and I'm so glad that I got to see you again. I'm so unbelievably happy that you're here because this might of never happened if…if things didn't go the way they had went……Why can't you…just be proud of what you've done so far…? Can't you see that…all of that counts for something…?"
He looked away from her again, still unable to name the emotion coursing through him. She was right, and this was a fact that took him a while to admit that he knew; there was no guarantee that the other choice would have given him results. And he would never know. That part of him was silenced at her words and slowly losing grip as Squall's mind being to move. His work…all of his work with Sora and everyone back at Hollow Bastion……it must count for something, right?
Maybe there was a reason for all of this, even if he didn't believe in that kind of stuff. Maybe all of that and him and her and then and there had to happen to get this moment back. Maybe all of that was a test to see if he was indeed worthy of getting all the moments he wanted back…if he had finally redeemed himself… Maybe this, this conversation, this closeness, was…a reward. A small piece of the bigger prize, if he kept going. And maybe the point to all of this suffering, his inner suffering, was to show him…exactly just how important they were to him.
Squall realized a few seconds too late that he was still staring at his feet and at all the loose nails below him. Why was he stalling? Why wasn't he talking back to her? Hadn't he been through this? No more fear because fear was what stopped him in the first place? That fear of their rejection, their attitudes towards the man who had let them go…the man who does that to his friends? …but what…about Yuffie? Squall felt his heart get heavy; he knew that he had a lot more to do and a lot more to fix. His work and his sacrifice wasn't enough for that part.
"No…" His voice finally came, "…no, I am not proud…" He remembered his dreams and his pain and the other regret when he remembered Yuffie and her tear-streaked face and her tinted cheeks. His friend. And what he had said to her. And what she had truly done for him. And what she deserved from him. …Hyne…I came out here…to make this right…not to feel sorry for myself…not for self-pity… The wind was picking up again, nearly drowning out his voice and the sound of his beating heart. "…I'm not proud…of what I did to her…"
Squall felt Rinoa's breath on his face as she leaned in closer. There was another pause before her voice came to him, soft and compassionate with a challenge. "…Then what are you going to do about it, Squall?"
He winced, but forced himself to face her and look her in the eye. Because she deserved at least that, didn't she? She deserved to see him being brave and facing up to his faults and following through. Because even though he couldn't take back that choice, he still had the power to do something about this one. And he would. Because he was here to make everything right again. There was that look in her eye when he looked up that made the words spill out before being processed in his mind. "…I have to go back. A—And talk to her."
There was that smile again, warm and beautiful and understanding and something else familiar…one that he didn't think he could ever forget. …Squall…you…you will be strong…and you will do this…because I love you too much to see you hurt yourself like this… Rinoa stared at him, seeing his eyes soften, cocking her head slightly to the left, and noticed how close they were to each other. "…and apologize, right?"
He nodded at her, feeling a tingle when her hand rested on his again. "Yes…of course. I'll go…the second the sun comes up…" Squall stared at her, seeing how close their noses were. At her proximity, his mind switched gears again. He knew that even if Yuffie had spent all night fixing the engine, she would be too tired to leave. She would wait until morning. She had to. She had always liked to sleep in.
And even though he knew that every second counted, and fear was what got people killed, and routines and predictable natures couldn't really be trusted anymore, he didn't think he could face her just yet. He was still deep in his mess and he needed a little more time. He felt his heart slow down and he forced himself to be calm. He would do this. He would. He would not be afraid and man up to his errors. …because he couldn't deny what his heart wanted. Because even though this time and this closeness with Rinoa had always been a moment he wanted back, he wanted Yuffie back just as much.
"…when…the sun comes up…?" Rinoa echoed, blinking slowly. She figured that they had at least a few more hours of darkness left and she was grateful that she could spend just that much more time with him. …you will do this…even if you have to leave… Her heart shook at the thought of losing him again, but knew it had to be done. …seven years is too long…to be doing nothing… They kept staring at one another, both staying still for some time as they both processed what would happen next…so she wasn't expecting his sudden movement.
In a blink, Rinoa found herself being pulled flush against him and being thrown off balance and into a hug, two strong arms encircling her tightly. "—Squall!" She felt his breath on her shoulder and had to wait a few moments for him to speak again.
"…I just want…to be with you…a little while longer…" He mumbled against her neck, holding her tighter. She quickly reciprocated the hug, draping her arms around his neck and shoulders. Squall felt her fingers thread through his hair and he sighed contently. This was a moment he had always wanted. Yes. It was. Just to be able to feel her heartbeat like this. But it wasn't more important than the moments he wanted to get back with Yuffie and the others from Hollow Bastion. And he would work hard to get both because he did want both. And for once, he wouldn't deny himself what he truly wanted. "…Rinoa…?"
She barely heard him, since her skin muffled his voice, but she knew what he had mumbled. Her fingers made one more pass through his longer hair before she responded. The night had finally quieted down and the air was finally light and her heart fluttered in her chest because she was finally with the man she loved. And she was happy. …a long time coming, too… And she was happy that Squall's eyes had softened again because that was a good sign. "…Yes…?"
Before she felt his lips move in his response, she gasped aloud as a terrible sensation shook her core. —what was that…? Her body tensed in their embrace and she cursed herself for jinxing it. She should have known better. A night like this wouldn't end as peacefully as she thought. …Oh no…why now…? Slowly, Squall's arms relaxed from around her in confusion to her body language and she quickly spun around to face the field in front of her.
"Rinoa…?" She heard him and his tone. "What's wrong?"
Using his knee as support, Rinoa slowly stood. She could sense them. They were coming back. A deep breath later and her nerves had already hardened into steel. She was used to sudden attacks and this one would be no different. Already, she could see their tiny little shadows beginning to form in the tall grass in front of her. …they're already here…and they couldn't wait, could they?
There was commotion behind her and she didn't need to look to know that Squall had stood as well. He understood now. Clenching her fists tightly and feeling the energy that pooled there, ready to fire, she walked down her porch steps and towards the Heartless that threatened her. The ones that ruined the moment but the ones that wouldn't be around for long. She turned her head slightly, locking eyes with the surprised pair behind her. "…Go wake up Irvine." To her satisfaction, her voice was cool and collected. …and strong…just like you are…
Squall stood frozen for a second, watching her walk forward, not wanting to believe that his sense of perception had faltered and if it hadn't been for Rinoa, it might have been too late. He could see them now, yellow eyes becoming solid and then disappearing again a few feet in front of her home. His heart pounded, a feeling that was familiar and right, but he heard her order. Time to act…Focus. Breathe. Don't hesitate. Move! There was a suffocating aura, a familiar one, around him as the darkness got closer, but his SeeD training refused to allow him to stand still. Move!
Three steps were all it took to cross the porch and to get back into the house. "Irvine!" His feet pounded loudly on the floor as he raced towards his room to get Lionheart. He nearly tripped over his own feet as he moved, as the situation sunk in, but he grabbed his weapon in perfect time. The feel of the handle in his hands never felt so right because this part was something he remembered. The way his body was reacting to the threat was so familiar and somewhat comforting. The blue light of his blade glowed, armed and ready, as he moved back into the main room and towards the door that separated him and Irvine.
"IRVINE! WAKE UP, NOW!" The seconds were ticking away and his hand was nearly cracking the weak, wooden door. But this was important. And Irvine needed to wake up. His heart was hammering, sweat was being to pool at his brow, but he knew this part. This part was familiar. These fights to protect the ones he loved and the moments he wanted. "IRVINE! That's an order! GET UP!"
When a gust of hot wind blew forcibly through the house, Squall stopped his assault on the door and looked back towards her moonlight form. …that was…Firaga… Ifrit… He watched as the brilliant orange flames shot out and burned the shadows that were stupid enough to stay close. …Rinoa… His head jerked between her and Irvine's door three times before Squall's feet carried him towards the battle. And as he jumped over the steps and began his run through the tall grass, a part of him hurt because this part felt so familiar…
But this time, the yellow eyes would not take him away. They would not ruin this for him. Because he had worked too hard for this moment to come back for them to just take it away again. And I still have work to do…I still…have my purpose……and I don't want the darkness you offer… Steel-grey eyes hardened in their resolve. …and I won't let them down again…
I don't know why, guys, but this chapter was REALLY bloody frustrating! It was…like, oh Jesus, I don't know why it was so hard for me to write Squall as being non-emo. (heavy sigh) Well, I hope this was satisfactory. Don't worry, this is the last of these meaningful talks between him and Rinoa. I think he finally got it all out of his system.
A little sneak preview for next chapter: A battle (kinda obvious). And Squall's confrontation with a peeved Pocahontas (oh no!).
PLEASE REVIEW! (and let's see who's going to be Reviewer #100! BONUS!)
PS. Random note: I'm going to Otakuthon in Montreal this year! Wee!! Can't wait! If any of you guys are going, like OMG, that'd be pretty sweet. ^_^
PPS. I am currently obsessed with Avatar: The Last Airbender. And Optimus Prime.