"Dreaming about when I'll see you next, knowing that I never will forget that I was being such a fool and I still don't deserve you. I don't wanna fall asleep 'cause I don't know if I'll get up. And I don't wanna cause a scene 'cause I'm dyin' without your love. I'm beggin' to hear your voice, tell me you love me too. 'Cause I'd rather just be alone if I know that I can't have you." - Jonas Brothers, "Can't Have You"

Lament

"Same time next Saturday?" I asked, smiling, with hope to brighten up the mood of the room.

Jacob shrugged with a facial expression that read that he could care less. I frowned in pure disappointment. My secret crush had been acting weird lately, he really wasn't himself. It was as if Jake didn't want me around anymore. Why, though?

"Maybe, Cee," answered Jake, unenthusiastic.

I kept the frown on my face as I got up from the egg yoke colored bucket that I was sitting on top of. The two of us were hanging out in Jake's old garage, listening to an outdated radio playing some horrible, fuzzy rock music. We had spend much of the evening watching the rain falling in the darkened night from the opening of the garage.

I walked over to Jacob and snatched the salt and vinegar chips from his loose grasps.

"Let me know if you can," I mused, dipping my hand into the big bag.

Jake shrugged once more as I fished out a messy topping chip.

"Sure, sure," he replied, quietly.

"Jade'll be here in like five minutes. Will you walk with me to her car?"

"I have to go on patrol," Jacob said, sounding bored.

My face I knew must of indicated to him that I was hurt. As soon as my expression soured, Jacob looked really regretful, as if I informed him that a member of his family had died or got into a life threatening accident on the road.

"Sorry, that wasn't nice. I'll take you to the car, Cecilia," he sputtered in a quick manner.

--

"Again, hit me up with details for next weekend," Cecilia said, trying to sound cheery.

She looked up at me, her emerald eyes sparkling even in the dark. I felt a mixture of happiness and sadness when glancing down at my beautiful imprintee. This had to be the last time I ever saw Cee again. My love for her was so wrong. I could deal with myself once she was finally gone for good. That didn't mean that it was going to be easy, though; not exactly a walk in the park.

"Okay," I said, simply.

Cecilia gave me a dazzling smile, slowly wrapping her slender arms around my long middle. She was hugging me goodbye, like she did every time she left La Push. My insides squirmed with regret and ache as I lightly patted her back, knowing that this was the last time I was going to touch her. The hug was a quick one, Cee giving me another drop dead gorgeous grin. I think that I smiled back; was that what my lips were doing? Curling up? Not sure. With that, Cecilia skipped to her friend's car, tripping on a root from the ground. A snort erupted from me, her actions reminding me of my former crush. Cee threw me a glance that read "Oh, please, Jake" as she rolled her green eyes in my direction.

"Bye, Fish Biscuit," I slipped, stupidly.

Gah, my voice when I said that. It was as if I were in some non-believable girl movie where the guy is just so freaking perfect. Mr. Wonderful, you could say. Cecilia smiled, obviously forgiving me for laughing at her.

"See ya later, Jacob! I'll miss you."

When she said those last three words...

As soon as Cee got in the car and left, I ran straight home. I kept on telling myself not to turn into my animal form. I didn't want anyone to hear me. Leah would be such a bitch about my situation, and Paul would be really annoying. It was their time on duty. I couldn't deal with them. Luckily, I made it to my house without changing.

I hit a wall in the living room with my fist, feeling the same old hot sensation creep up my spine.

"Dammit!"

"Whoa. What's eating at you, Alpha?"

Spinning around on the spot, I saw that Seth invited himself into my house. Darn. I forgot and left the front door unlocked. Crap.

"Aren't you supposed to be on patrol?" I spat bitterly at my Beta.

"Nope," said Seth. Carelessly, he plopped himself down on the couch, ignoring the fact that I just left a huge tend in the wall in the shape of my huge fist. "So, what's up?" he added, grabbing the bag of chips Cee and I had eaten some of earlier.

"Cecilia Cullen," I grunted.

That explained enough for Seth. He stared at me with anguish.

"You've got to be kidding me, Jake."

What the hell?

Seth didn't know. No, he didn't understand whatsoever about what my situation was.

That hit it right in the gut.

No time to think about the others.

I sprinted so fast out to the front yard, hearing as well as feeling the clothes that I was bearing being ripped into tiny fabric shreds to the hard ground. Red hot tremors thumped throughout my whole entire body as I finally changed into my werewolf form.

No. It could never happen between me and the bloodsucker's accident, shouldn't-have-happened kid.

Cecilia Cullen and I were never going to be together.

Glad you've finally got some sense knocked into you, Leah thought as I ran into the woods.

Leah was sitting a few feet away from me as I ran, swishing her gray tail with victory, dumb arrogance in her animal eyes. I hated watching her when she knew that she was right about something. I came to a halt, panting heavily.

True that, agreed Paul, who stood next to Leah, looking equally as proud.

Don't listen to 'em, Jake.

Great. My Beta. I gave out a snarl through my suddenly bared teeth.

Go away, Seth, my thoughts spat.

Leah growled lowly at her younger brother. He ignored her as his sandy wolf form appeared out from a tree, completely alone. Seth was looking brave and very determined to prove me wrong.

No, Seth objected. Hear me out, Jacob. Please.

There was a strange impulse washing over me, instructing and forcing me to listen to Seth. I had absolute no control over it. I had to do it. It was like I had no choice. Weird.