Authors Note:

Hey everyone, I want to thank you for giving me the strength to keep this story going. I don't think it's my best but I hope to make it up in the next chapter. To lje100smith, the pink bandit, and malinara, thanks so much for the feedback. I hope you keep enjoying the chapter I post and keep leaving me feedback because that's my fuel to keep going, even when I have severe writer's block and can't think of how to continue, so then I wallow in the depths of despair thinking that everything I come up with is no good, and then I fall...

Okay, they get the point.

You know Dustee, I was just trying to say that sometimes...

You can't write, we know already, but I'm bleeding to possibly my death here so do you mind?

Fine. Let me just add a scene where Jayne kisses you. hahaha...kidding just kidding...(whispered voice) don't worry fans of the story I'll get that scene in soon enough. Can't wait, I'm so excited. (normal voice) Anyway, I give you...

You do know I can read your mind, right?

hahahahahahahahahaha, anyway, here's Muddled. You know Dustee red is the new black...

"Mal!" Kaylee shrieked with both delight and worry as she saw all the blood on their clothes and skin.

Simon had finished stitching up Cody and was now bandaging Shea's head, who was now sleeping. Lola was leaning on Kellen from where she sat, sleeping on his shoulder. Buster stood in the corner watching Simon bandaging Shea. Simon stopped and looked at the group that walked in.

"Anyone really bleeding, or is that the blood of the fallen?" Simon asked as he turned back and tried to finish with Shea quickly.

"Some have a little more wear and tear than others. What ya' need Doc?"

"Those who are bleeding need to be treated first, the rest please wait outside and I'll bandage you up."

"You heard the Doc." This was all Mal said, as he walked outside the infirmary and sat on the couch.

I remained silent, lost in my thoughts, trying desperately not to think. I was leaning on the infirmary doorframe, hiding myself in a corner. I watched as Nadia remained as the rest filed out. Of course, Aaron remained beside her. Through narrow eyes I watched as he held her in his arms and he had her lean her head on his shoulder as they sat on the counter. Sloane held Cody's hand and sat in a chair by her bed. My eyes narrowed even more as I saw Lola sleeping on Kellen's shoulder as he stood in front of her. Buster shifted uneasily as he remained as a guardian over Shea. I started to depart from the room, I needed to be alone.

"Where do ya' think you're going?" Mal asked through heavy eyes as he watched me carefully from the couch. Beside him was Gideon who still held Zoe, and Sofia was next to them. Inara was on Mal's other side, while Kaylee sat in front of her on the floor. Andrew and River were not even there, but I knew where they were.

I didn't listen; I was getting cold, probably from all the warm blood leaving my body. I started to leave, but Jayne, who I hadn't noticed was behind me, swooped me up and carried me into the infirmary.

"Doc, she's shot." Simon's head sprang up as he looked me over before finishing examining Nadia, as Jayne still carried me in his arms.

"Shot! Goushi! I thought it was her broken ribs that were hurting her." Mal said as he got up from the couch and walked over to us. "I do recall saying that there are rules, what were they again?

"Not to let...myself bleed...to..." Darkness overwhelmed me and I quickly gave in. Take me away.

(Jayne's point of view)

"Okay, I need more room." Simon said as he looked at the infirmary literally filled with patients.

"I can lay some blankets out in the cargo bay." Kaylee offered.

"Uhh...Sloane." Simon said, finally remembering his name. "Please follow Kaylee and take Cody with you. You," He pointed to Buster, "take him and go to the cargo bay as well. You can lay her down there." Simon said to Kellen who had never moved from his spot. Gently Kellen laid Lola down once Buster picked Shea up. "I need her to lie down on the counter." Simon said to Aaron as Nadia was drifting to sleep from loss of blood. "Jayne, put Dustee here." Simon said once Sloane had carefully picked up his beloved.

I set her down gently and walked out. I didn't want to but I knew the Doc needed space, plus it ain't like she's my woman. Although, I wouldn't mind it.

"Captain?" Zoe said softly as she stirred awake. Finding herself in Gideon's lap she quickly struggled to get up but instead fell on her bum. "What happened?" She asked throwing an angry glance at Gideon, who didn't flinch but remained as motionless as ever.

"Yeah, that won't work. He's really good at not showing any emotion. So, if you're trying to intimidate him it won't work." Sofia said smiling.

Zoe looked at the Captain, raising one eyebrow inquisitively.

"Well, you...he...what did you do exactly?" Mal asked as he looked at Gideon.

"All he did was strike a pressure point that made her fall asleep." Sofia said defensively. "He wouldn't have hurt you, well, maybe, if you had pulled the trigger, but anyway he prevented you from hurting Nastusia."

"She was killing those who'd surrendered. She's a weapon, she said so herself when she first boarded the ship. Captain, why is she even still here?" Zoe asked as she rose from the ground and saw Dustee on the table.

"News flash!" Sofia said standing up. "We're," Sofia said pointing to herself and Gideon. "all weapons. That girl that you let stay on the ship, River, is also a weapon. You saw that on multiple occasions, such as the day that Earl the bounty hunter came on this ship and when she protected you from the Reavers on Miranda. Plus, Nastusia did you a favor by not telling anyone that..." Gideon raised his hand and pulled Sofia back on the couch, he didn't let her hand go but squeezed it so that she wouldn't say anymore.

"Zoe, how'd she get that bullet wound?" Mal asked. "We've seen her fight, so I still don't understand how she couldn't move out of the way of the bullet. If she wanted to kill us she would have done so already. I also know that she gave you strict instructions to stay on the ship, what were you doing?"

"I'm sorry Captain." Zoe said as she looked at Mal.

"I would have done the same." Mal said understanding why Zoe left the ship. If it could be prevented they would do anything and everything to make sure everyone was safe.

"A soldier shot her, when my gun got stuck." Zoe said regretfully.

"To be clear, the soldier was aiming for you and she didn't have enough time to stop him so she bit the dust for you." Everyone except Gideon looked at her. She smiled sweetly and pointed to her head. "I'm a reader by the way."

"Great another River." I muttered as I looked at her. "I ain't seen you go crazy yet."

"That's because with Andrew and River they stripped their amygdala, which is why they are not always in control. I, however, still have my amygdala and can push feelings to the back of my mind, unlike them." Sofia said.

"Dustee shot those soldiers." Zoe replied icily.

"You are quick to pass judgment when you know nothing." Gideon said darkly as he looked at Zoe. "River, Sofia, Cody, Nadia, Aaron, Kellen, and Buster they all had family that loved them, so what about them? What made it right for them to endure hell when they had a family to go home to? Nastusia did exactly what she needed to do. Do you think that they wouldn't report back to the Alliance and try to hunt us down again? Do you think it was easy for her to pull the trigger? Is it easy for you? With us, and especially readers and Nastusia, we can hear their thoughts. She heard their pleading over and over in her head and saw the images that came to their mind. The reason she shot them was to protect you."

"I got a question," I said to Gideon and Sofia. "Why do you call her Nastusia and she go by Dust-bucket?"

Mal threw a pillow at me and threw me a glare. I just shrugged, it was a very good question, all she said was because her Tyen-sah duh UH-muo parents gave her that name.

"If your parents named you stronger than death because they would rather you have died than be born, wouldn't you change it?" Gideon asked as he looked at me curiously.

Mandarin phrases:

Goushi = dogshit

Tyen-sah duh UH-muo = goddamn monsters

Also in the previous chapter Inara says:

Wode Tian (this is the correct spelling, in the chapter I think I misspelled it woad, sorry) = my god!