CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE: Choices

The surface of the porcelain tub was cool against my bare back. I had my knees drawn up to my chest and was resting my head on my arms. I barely remembered getting to this position. I recalled having a nightmare in the middle of the night and coming into the bathroom, but that was it.

Having nightmares should be a good sign right? Should show a sign of humanity?

That was great and all, but the nightmares sucked.

They ranged from the massacres of the two towns, from killing my father, and for almost killing Sam.

Reliving those moments over and over again are what my nights consisted of.

I wasn't stupid, I knew Sam and Cas would try to find some way to cure me. But this time, I wouldn't let them.

It was in everybody's best interest if I stayed away.

I was jerked from my internal monologue when I heard a thud outside the motel bathroom door.

Getting up quietly, I peeked out the slightly ajar door.

There were three demons talking in the center of my room along with another demon I couldn't quite see. The only part I could see was two skinny legs that were hung over the bed.

I went to slowly close the door when one of them must have heard me and looked directly at the bathroom.

Slamming the door shut, I backed as far into the cramped space as I could.

"No fucking windows, great." I whispered. My mind was racing to try and form an escape plan.

I jumped when the door was kicked open and Abaddon strolled in.

….

"Hannah good to see you." The youngest Winchester said. He was sitting in the bunker's library researching things on Knights of Hell for the umpteenth time.

"You as well. Castiel sends his regards, he's busy searching the earth for Dean but it is obvious he does not want to be found." She said sadly.

"He said something about wanting to do what's best for me. I guess in his eyes it was to get as far away as possible." The hunter ran a tired hand through his hair and sighed. "You know, I want to believe in him. Really, I do. I'm just afraid something's going to happen and he's going to lose sight of his human self again."

Hannah walked over to Sam and placed an awkward hand on his shoulder. "Have faith Sam. Your brother will make the right decisions."

"I hope to God you're right." The hunter said, smiling up at the angel.

Hannah laughed slightly at the 'God' reference as she patted his shoulder and disappeared.

….

I was set firmly down on the bed and was being held there by two of the demons while the other sat idly by, angel blade in hand.

"What do you want?" I spat, glaring at the Queen.

Walking over to me, Abaddon grabbed my face with one hand, squishing my cheeks together. "Dean, what have they done to you?" I jerked my head away causing her to frown slightly.

"It's a shame that you have to live with all that guilt now that your humanity is rearing its ugly head." She shook her head, frowning. "I mean, all those people you murdered in those two towns? Your father? And now your brother? That's a hell of a track record." She laughed coldly as she crossed her arms.

"Maybe you should check your facts. I didn't kill Sam." I said, a smugness in my tone.

"Oh, you don't know?"

My heart raced as I took in her words. Trying to stay calm, I hesitated before asking. "What do you mean?"

"Your little angel friend didn't make it to Sam in time. You killed your brother Dean-o. Good going."Abaddon smirked as she saw the shock play across my face.

I shook my head, disbelieving. "No, Cas left the second I told him! There's no way…" I trailed off. Had I really hurt Sam that bad?

"Denial is not a good color on you Dean." The Queen remarked, obviously enjoying playing with me.

"What do you want?" I hissed, hoping maybe she'll answer me this time. I could tell my eyes had switched to black which wasn't a good sign.

"I want you to come back Dean. And don't worry; I'll welcome you with open arms, even after you killed my two best demons." She added, a cruel grin creeping across her face.

"You'll have to sweeten the deal sweetheart. I don't just sign on with evil bitches." I quipped.

"It's not like you have anything left to live for. I'll give you a purpose in life. You obviously don't have one now since you went and got your family killed." Abaddon was purposely trying to play at my weak points and sadly, it was working.

"And if I don't come back?" I asked casually.

"Then we'll kill your little angel friend. Come on, Dean. You have one last person in your life you care about. Really want to risk Castiel's life?" She leaned down so she could whisper in my ear. "And trust me, Alastair didn't have nearly as much imagination as I do. You'll join me Dean, one way or another."

With that, Abaddon and her minions disappeared, leaving me to grieve on my own.

Sam was dead because of me.

I had one job, and I screwed it up.

Grabbing the lamp next to my bed, I hurled it across the room and watched it shatter into a million pieces.

I was honestly considering signing up with the bitch. I couldn't let her kill Cas. He was the only family I had left and if I was responsible for his death? Well my death would soon follow. I don't think I could handle anymore guilt.

I quickly grabbed my duffel, slung it over my shoulder, and disappeared, leaving the motel room behind.

….

TBC

Please continue to leave reviews. And no, Sam is not really dead, Abaddon is just a manipulative bitch.