Note 25
Six years after the Naboo Invasion
One year later:
Master Yoda,
I thought that my being 16 now might cause others to view me as more of an adult. It still seems like everyone, including Obi-Wan still view me as the 9 year old kid that I was when I started my training. Do you think I'll always be viewed in this way in the Jedi world?
Master Yoda, even if you don't seek to be the greatest Jedi of all time, all of us know that you are. There's no shame in that; it's just truth. Of course all Jedi seek to serve the galaxy. It's just that….we cannot pretend that some Jedi are not better than others. If there are no great Jedi, then how will the Jedi Order ever grow?
But how am I supposed to keep my emotions in check? I'm striving to do so, but it seems like most Jedi just don't have emotions….or, if they do, they hide them. I'm not good at hiding mine. I can't help it. I have strong opinions about things, and when people go against what I know to be right…..I react. I've tried to ask other Jedi for help on this, but they don't seem to get me. They don't understand. Sometimes I feel very isolated…as if I'm the only one who has ever struggled with things. I think I'm getting a little better with it…but it's still a struggle for me.
I'd like to say something else – it seems that most of the missions that the Jedi have been consumed with the last few years have been pointless. Many of them have to do with looking for clues of Sith activity. There are so many things that the Jedi could be doing right now! Yes, I know it's important to complete the missions that you and the other Council members send us on…but can't the Council be more selective of the missions? I'd like to go somewhere where we Jedi actually make a difference. I want to be challenged and I want to grow. I feel like I'm stuck…like I'm being held back. Even Chancellor Palpatine has noticed this.
But has any Jedi TRIED to pursue a romantic relationship and remained in the Jedi Order? If no one's been expelled, then expulsion can't really be a threat can it? If Jedi only get expelled for being evil and turning to the dark side, then there's no real punishment for falling in love. Does that mean that….deep down inside….the Council members know that it's possible to fall in love and still remain a Jedi. Maybe no Jedi has ever dared to try to live as a Jedi while being in love. I really don't know if I can talk to Master Kenobi about this stuff…..I don't know if he'll understand. I will bring it up with him, but I don't think that it will do any good.
Why do all the Jedi assume that love leads to chaos? If no Jedi has remained in the Order after falling love, then no Jedi in the Order really knows. They are just making assumptions because they are biased against romantic love. A person can be in love and still be rational. I think it would be a lot easier to go to the dark side if their real emotions are denied, and they are forbidden to love. I don't care what you or any other Jedi says on this. I know it's possible for a Jedi to be both passionate about something and be rational at the same time. Someday I'm going to prove this. Oh, trust me, I'm never going to experience the chaos that you're talking about…not with love or any other emotion. I know you think I'm too young to understand love…sigh…everyone thinks I'm too young to understand life.
Why must a Jedi choose between love or being a Jedi? It's not fair!! No one should have to choose one or the other. A Jedi would make a great wife or husband, and parent. But the Order denies them that opportunity. Does falling in love suddenly invalidate the service that they could give to the Republic through the Order? What about the midi-cholorian count? You're acting like falling in love removes that…and removes all of their abilities. Aren't these Jedi that have felt forced to leave a great loss to the Jedi Order? Or does no one care?
I doubt I'll ever be able to earn Obi-Wan's respect. He still treats me the same as he did when I first started training with him, and he is not recognizing any progress that I do make. I'm getting tired of it. I arrive on time most of the time….it's just that sometimes I get caught up in doing other things, and I lose track of the time. I usually complete my homework, but it seems so pointless. I don't feel like I'm learning anything new. It's the same old stuff….and I just want to move on! I know that most….well, okay…all of the other Padawans are still struggling with the stuff that I get as homework…..but I'm passed it.
As for flying…..well…..I love to fly. I know what a safe speed is for me, and I know how to stay in control of a ship or speeder. Remember, I used to race pods all the time. I know what I can handle. The problem is that no one seems to believe me. I like to fly sometimes just to get away from everything. It's how I relax. However, Obi-Wan and other Jedi just don't get it. They don't believe that I can handle a ship, and they constantly question my ability to fly. I hate it.
I hope there's something a little more interesting that Obi-Wan and I can do. And when do I get to go on my first mission by myself?
It's been a pleasure to hear from you as well. I'm sorry that I'm complaining a lot. I don't mean to be. I'm very grateful to you and Obi-Wan and the other Jedi….I just want to do something interesting.
Padawan Anakin Skywalker
Part 2
Eight years after the Trade Federation Invasion of Naboo
Two years later
Can you believe what has happened? This guy named Count Dooku has started a separate government from the Republic called the Separatists. Obi-Wan told me that he was once a Jedi Master, and that he was even on the Jedi Council. Do you think this will be peaceful, or do you think something more might come from it? It looks like the Trade Federation has joined Dooku.
Here's a letter that Chancellor Palpatine received from Dooku:
I've had it with your mediocre leadership. You promise many things, but they're all lies! I've had enough of waiting for you to help us out! Dooku will make a far better Chancellor than you, Your Most Unworshipfullness! Well, you'll no longer be any trouble to us! Neimodia has left the Republic!