A/N: I thought it was well-overdue for a relatively short chapter. By the way, I forgot to mention that we're over 50000 words! WOOT! *throws out sake for everyone* Enjoy this new chapter, and don't drink all that sake at once. ;)
Chapter 25: Which is Not the End of Our Parody, as it Turns Out
Ammy and Link didn't even get to the city before their well-earned party was already over. Waka appeared in front of them in a shower of sparkles, widening his arms and saying, "Bonjour!"
Link made a gagging noise. "You sure know how to spoil a mood, you half-baked prophet."
"How rude! I merely came to congratulate you!" Waka said, mocking hurt. "So I see you two have been on a little fox hunt, haven't you?"
"And I got the smiting power I wanted!" Ammy added. "Oh yeah, and the Kyuubi said something about being a jedi-master or whatever."
Waka sighed. "Yes. He's been convinced that his tails are jedis, and somehow that led him to believe that he was an ally of justice. But of course yours truly is the only genuine jedi-master you ever need to contend with, am I right, ma cherie?"
"I can't argue with the lightsaber," Ammy said.
"Cut it out, ya two-bit prophet, you're the last person we wanna see right now!" Link interceded.
"I don't mind seeing him," said Ammy, but Link pretended he hadn't heard that.
"Ya hear that? So get outta our way, we've got some mourning and partying to do!"
Waka raised an eyebrow. "Those two things seem awfully contradictory, my little bouncing friend," he said with amusement.
"Gah, it doesn't matter, seeing your face makes me sick!" Link cried. "Outta the way, or I'll slice those fancy pants o' yours apart with my newfound awesomeness!" He dashed forward threateningly and slashed the air with his wand.
"My my my, what a fabulous mood you're in today!" Waka said, parrying Link's wind attacks with his flute. "Your anger is enough to cloud the sky!"
As if on cue, thunder rumbled in the distance, and Ammy got her hopes up for some serious smiting business.
"See, I told you," Waka continued. "That thunder is coming from Shinshu Field (North)."
Damn, thought Ammy.
"It no doubt heralds the coming of a storm. Well, ma cherie, I must bid you adieu. But first, let me leave you with this…"
"Spare us, would you?" Link muttered.
As always, Waka ignored him and danced around with his flute. "A shocking zap and it opens! Ah, it felt good to get that one off my chest. Oh, and another thing, Amaterasu…" He bent down close to whisper in her ear, and Link jumped up and down angrily, shouting some explicatives that Ammy didn't bother listening to. "Your quest isn't over yet, you know." He stepped back and winked.
Ammy was perplexed. "But I achieved my quest already! Wait—!" She narrowed her eyes. "Unless you mean that quest Sakuya wants me to do, the one where I save Nippon or whatever ridiculousness this country's called."
Waka chuckled. "Heheheh, I know you, Amaterasu, and you are surely not satisfied leaving Nippon with that half-hearted smiting power of yours. There are other treasures out there for you that will make you even more godly than you already are." He teleported backwards to avoid being slashed by Link. "And there's still that secret of the stilettos, ma cherie!" he called. He waved a piece of paper in the air at them. "Now, I've marked the area of the thunderstorms on your map. You were planning on going there anyway, were you not? Testing out that weak little power of yours, I'll bet."
Ammy found herself blushing a little with embarrassment. Waka read her like she read gay fanfiction.
"What the hell? How'd you get that map?" Link demanded.
Waka smirked and pressed a finger to his lips, teasing them. "Now you see me, now you don't! Au revoir, baby! I'll be waiting to reveal that secret!"
Ammy ran to pick up the map that had fallen to the ground when Waka disapparated.
"Hey, you're not goin', are ya?" Link said. "Don't listen to anything that half-baked prophet says! He's on a nefarious scheme to stop us from partying, I know it!"
"I am bothered by what he said about other treasures, though," Ammy said. "He's right. This smiting power turned out to be more disappointing than I remembered it."
"DON'T BE TEMPTED," said Link.
But it was too late. Ammy had remembered something.
"Water Tablet!" she said, her eyes lighting up with a new fire. She raced off, leaving Link running after her.
"Hey hey hey, where'ya going, Furbrain?" he yelled.
"To the Emperor!" she replied, running through Sei-An at nighttime. "When I was looking through his wares I remembered the Water Tablet! It was out of order, last time I saw it, but it gives you Jesus-abilities, like walking on water and turning water into wine and stuff!"
Link's eyes too lit up with a new fire. "I'm all in on this one, then! FULL SPEED AHEAD, LET'S GET THAT WATER TABLET, BABY!"
"Why hello, my lucky wolfie!" the Emperor cried, delighted to see Ammy again. "And what would you like today?"
"Do you have the Water Tablet, by chance?" Ammy asked, scanning the wares. She found it in the Emperor's hands.
"I got this new shipment of Water Tablets recently!" the Emperor said. "It is a valuable item that enables the bearer to walk on water, among other things!"
"I'll take it!" said Ammy, but realized she didn't have nearly enough demon fangs. "Argh, damn!" she swore. "I thought I could buy it with all this money I've been earning, but noooo, it'd just have to be with demon fangs, wouldn't it?"
So she Mermaid Fountained herself to Shinshu Field and battled a hundred small-fry imps, because harvesting demon fangs from imps was the easiest. With the Water Tablet purchased, she simply couldn't resist the urge to use it and walked on every surface of water she could find, relishing in the feeling of not ever having to draw lily pads ever again. She also checked up on her stray beads, which she realized she hadn't been diligent in finding.
"Hey Link, this says I'll get something good if I collect all the stray beads. Think it could be something godly?"
"I'd sure hope so, if you have to go around collecting 100 of them," Link said.
So Ammy looked up the location of all the stray beads up to that point on an online Okami walkthrough and set about collecting them.
"…So I guess we're really going to go to the north where that prophet said to go, huh?" asked Link after they had finished collecting stray beads.
"I don't think I have a choice," Ammy said. "I've barely gotten the chance to use my awesome new powers, and we have to do forward progress if I want to get something good for all 100 stray beads."
"Feh. Alright. I still have to pwn that prophet anyway," Link said, punching his palm. "I was never playing serious all those other times, you know."
"Of course," replied Ammy sarcastically as the two of them fountained themselves back to Ammy's favorite field in Japan.
A/N: Water Tablet=AWESOMEEEEE. Probably my favorite treasure in the entire game, including the special prize for collecting all the stray beads. There are two things any god simply must have, and that's smiting ability and walking on water. Talk about EPIIIIICCC.