It felt strange standing in front of the stadium again. Yuri had spent most of his life here, but right now, it didn't feel like home as usual. Although he was motivated and ready to get his life back, he was a little afraid of what was waiting for him inside. His stomach tensed and for a second he doubted that he was prepared enough to face Otabek and everyone else after behaving weird for weeks and not coming to practise for another two weeks. Yuri heard steps behind him and then felt a hand placed on his shoulder. "I told you, you didn't need to come with me", he grumbled towards Viktor. "I know, but I don't want you to go in there alone." The young skater was close to raging about his friend not being his father, but he thought better of it. To be honest, he was happy that he wasn't alone. He was prepared to see the Kazakh again, but neither in the state to answer stupid and annoying questions nor to explain Yakov everything. The only thing he wanted to do was to prove to Otabek that he could live without him and skate. The thought of finally being on the ice again was the only thing that made him take on last deep breath and enter the stadium.
"Yuri!", he heard Mila shout as soon as he stepped through the door. So much for his unnoticed entry. Five heads instantly turned towards him and looked at him curiously, but only one of them mattered to him. Seeing Otabek again was hitting him a lot harder than he had expected. The whole drive here, he had tried to prepare himself, imagining how it would feel like, but just being close to him again, being able to make out his delicate features, looking into the dark eyes that had once been so full of warmth for him, made him turn into a pillar of salt. Behind him, he could sense that Viktor was already ready to take him back to the car. The longer Yuri didn't move, the more his body was overwhelmed by all the feelings that were brought back just by looking at the guy he still loved.
No! No, he mustn't back down yet! He needed to move or he would never be able to get out of this darkness around him. It needed a lot of effort, but finally, Yuri's body listened to him again and he started warming up. Everything would have worked out fine, if not Yakov was stomping towards him, his face red as a beetroot. "What do you think you're…." The Russian had predicted that his coach would be mad at him, but he had hoped that he would wait a little before he would shout at him. Right now, he had to spent all his energy on staying here under Otabek's eyes and act like everything was fine. There wasn't anything left to argue with the bald man. Right before he would have expected Yakov to explode in front of him, Yuri felt a soft touch on his shoulders. "Keep up warming up, I'll handle him." And with that Viktor was walking straight towards the trainer.
Being on the ice for the first time in weeks was like heaven for Yuri. A wave of energy filled him and when he did the first jump in what felt like a decade, all his sorrows and worries were shaken off and he finally was free again. He noticed at some points that his body was still a little weak, but he had a few weeks left to get ready for the World Championship and if he gave his all, he was sure that he could succeed there. And Yuri needed this success. Winning this competition would mean that he would be able to overcome everything, even his worst nightmare. But now wasn't the time to think about that dark shadows that would be waiting for him as soon as was alone again. Now, he had to enjoy feeling like himself again.
"Good job, everyone", Yakov shouted at the end of practise and glided towards Yuri. "I have no idea what has been wrong with you and I don't want you to think that I didn't worry about you like hell, but if you want to score at the World Championship, you'll have to work your ass off. Viktor hasn't told me much, only what I need to know, but you're my best skater right now and I want you to concentrate to 1000%. So if there's anything I can do…" – "Thanks, coach, but no. Just make sure I'll win that gold medal and if I have to do extra shifts, I'll be fine with that." Yakov looked at him a little confused, probably because Yuri hadn't sworn or anything, but thanked him. Not that Yuri wouldn't like to. It was already pissing him off that Viktor and Yuuri were super considerate towards him and he didn't need anyone else to treat him with kid gloves, but it was easier for now to just end conversations as soon as possible. These were already exhausting enough without ranting about everything. When Yuri turned to the changing rooms, however, he realized that this day would get a lot more exhausting. Next to the boards, their skates already taken off, Mila, Georgy, Otabek and the two other skaters were standing, stretching and obviously waiting for him.
While Yuri put off his skates, there was an awkward silence around them. Nobody seemed to dare to say anything and this was just alright for the Russian. He didn't want to answer their question, he didn't want to tell lies about what had happened to him and the most, he didn't want to say anything as long as Otabek was within rage to hear it. Mila, however, decided to break the quiet. "So…Yuri…where have you been for the last weeks? We were really worried about you!" – "I was busy." Which wasn't a lie. He had been busy – busy, trying to forget that he was existing, trying to forget that the one he loved the most had trampled on him. "But you didn't answer all of our messages. Not even once! How can you be so busy that you don't have a minute to text your friends that you're alright. Even Otabek had no idea where you've been." Yuri gulped. Of course, the Kazakh had no idea. He had moved out of their apartment, so even if the blonde skater hadn't been with Viktor and Yuuri, he wouldn't have known about his state. "Told you I was busy," he grumbled, hoping she would stop talking. And so she did, but Georgy didn't want to let this topic go by the board.
"You could have told us that you've met someone", he said in a slightly snappy voice. "It's totally fine and we would all have congratulated you. But just because you're in love doesn't mean you can forget about everything, you know. I understand how it feels like to be on cloud nine, but we've all been working hard the last weeks, so don't think you can come and go whenever you want, just because you think you're the best. No, no. I'm not mad at you, I just want to remind you that there are other things in life as well – like your occupation and your friends. Oh, and eating, of course. Darling, I know they say that you can live off fresh air alone, but you should really stop letting yourself get fucked to the heavens by your lover and start eating from time to time. You know, going to a restaurant is also a nice way to spent time with someone you like. Nobody wants a skeleton laying under him." Yuri was so shocked by Georgy's word, he had no idea what to answer. Who the hell did he think he was! How did he dare to assume he had let his skating slip, because of some new lover? Skating was his everything and nothing and nobody would be distracting him from that. Well…aside from Otabek. 'Fuck…', Yuri thought. The Kazakh was still standing to his right, but he had stopped stretching now. Instead, he looked directly into Yuri's eyes and his expression wasn't happy at all.
"So this is where you've been all the time? So madly in love that you didn't even come home for days? Wow." Just for a second, his face convulsed in pain, but a moment later, it was expressionless as ever. Only his eyes were piercing through Yuri like he wanted to pin him down with his gaze. "I wouldn't have thought that you found yourself somebody else that fast." The blonde skater felt the confused looks on his skin, but couldn't care about them right now. While the Russian was still shocked at first, feeling his guts tensing like he was going to throw up, the anger that had come back to him this morning spread through his whole body. In a second, he was on fire. If Georgy had been bold, Otabek was beneath contempt. How did he dare saying things like that to him? What was he implying when he said "found yourself somebody else that fast"? Remembering that they had been friends for years, Yuri had no idea how Otabek could think that Yuri hadn't valued what had happened between them. Had he never noticed that it had meant everything for him, even though it was just on a physical basis? "What do you want to say with that?", he shouted at the Kazakh, "That I'm a slut? Is that what you think I am? Is that the reason you… Sorry to clear things up, but I could never…with…somebody else…But you?...You..Argh, fuck this shit." He grabbed his skates and his sports bag and stormed out of the door.