How the hell did we wind up like this?

Why weren't we able, to see the signs that we missed

And try to turn the tables

I wish you'd unclench your fist, and unpack your suitcase

Lately there's been too much of this

But I don't think it's too late

Nothing's wrong, just as long as

You know that someday I will

Someday, Somehow

I'm gunna make it all right, but not right now.

Someday-Nickleback

EPOV

I listened to Bella's motorcycle pull up to the house. I couldn't believe she thought I hated her! I just hated what she was going through but there was nothing I could do.

Upon my return I had to deal with the wrath of Rosalie. I tried to tell her that Bella didn't want me anymore but that just made her angrier and she just called me stupid and a jerk. She said I needed to make Bella feel loved, to stop making her feel hated. I hadn't even realized how alone I've been leaving Bella, but I thought she needed space.

She walked in and gasped when she saw me, briefly her eyes sparked to life. What was I supposed to do? I couldn't fix the pain she was going through, she walked around with sad, lifeless eyes.

"Rosalie took Mason and Anthony to my parent's house" I said softly.

Over the last two weeks that Bella has been back she's been growing closer to the boys, holding them was the only time even a hint of happiness touched her eyes.

"Why?" She asked seriously.

"Said we needed time alone, to talk and fix things."

Bella looked away from me.

"I forgot you had to give your statement today, I'm sorry."

"I thought vampires didn't forget things" She said curtly.

I'd prefer the anger over the emptiness.

"They don't usually, I was a little distracted this morning" I said thinking back to her words.

I wondered if she meant what she said, that she felt. Well, trapped. I didn't want to force her to stay, I wanted her to stay because she wanted to.

"Well that's nice. I want my sons home now." She snapped, harsher than I'd thought she was capable of.

"Not yet" I said softly.

Tears filled her eyes and I knew they were angry tears, her fists clenched and she turned on her heels. She stormed up the stairs and I followed slowly. She went into the closet and pulled out two suitcases. She started throwing her clothes in one of them.

Not this, not again. I thought desperately.

She shoved by me with the second suitcase. Bella went into the boys' room and started throwing their clothes and pampers in the suitcase.

"Bella" I said softly.

She pushed past me, dragging the suitcase with Anthony and Mason's clothes in it. She tossed their suitcase on the bed and went to the dresser, pushing things around as if she was looking for something.

"What are you doing?"

Suddenly she picked up the bank card that Phil was send money on and I smelled her tears. She looked up into the mirror Rosalie must have replaced. I could see her staring at herself. Her eyes flashed with disgust and hate and as she swung to break the second mirror of the day I finally understood why she broke the first one.

I ran forward and grabbed her hand before it made contact with the mirror. As soon as I grabbed her hand she fell apart. I pulled her into my chest and let her cry and before I knew it we were on the bed, her on my lap, and me crying along with her.

"I'm sorry" I whispered, "I'm so sorry Bella."

After 15 minutes Bella cried herself to sleep. I pulled her down between the suitcases and she pulled me closer to her. In her sleep she looked peaceful, besides the red face and swollen red eyes. I tried to pull her away from me so I could put the clothes away, but she made me stop.

In her sleep she gasps and her fists clench around my shirt. "Please don't leave me anymore" She cries.

I freeze, guilt consuming me. I don't mean to make her feel like this, but that's the truth of it, some of her depression must be my fault. She wakes up an hour later.

"You're still here" She says in quiet surprise as she opens her eyes.

"Of course, I'm always going to be here."

"You haven't been" She says sitting up. "Not since I came back. I'm sorry I'm not the same person you fell for, I'm sorry I'm so fucked up, I'm sorry I'm not perfect. I'm just sorry. I-I need to go get cigarettes."

She gets up suddenly.

"No" I say seriously. "You don't have to be sorry about anything, first of all. You are the same person, you just need to… Heal. You're not fucked up, and you are still perfect Bella, you are perfect. But I don't want you smoking anymore."

Walls come down behind Bella's eyes suddenly.

"It's not up to you" She said angrily. "I gave up a lot when I came back, I stopped drinking, stopped doing drugs, I don't even smoke as often."

"You are going to kill yourself with those cigarettes."

"What happens, happens."

"Bella" I growled.

"You don't love me the same anymore" She says suddenly.

"What?" I asked shocked.

"You won't look at me, you don't stay in the same room as me, you don't lay with me anymore; nothing is the same."

"Of course I love you the same, maybe even more now. I'm sorry I've been acting like such an asshole, I just hate seeing you so hurt and knowing that there is nothing I can do to fix it. But you are still perfect to me"

Once again anger flashes in her eyes. She shocks me by reaching for the hem of her shirt and pulling it over her head so she standing in front of me in jeans and a bra.

"Does this look like perfect to you?" She says, disgust filling her voice.

She turns to face the mirror and stares at herself, it pains me to see how much she hates how she looks because despite it all she is still perfect to me.

I stand and walk behind her. I grab her hands, while still behind her back, and stretch her arms out. Both arms are covered in hundreds of scars, almost every inch of her arms are part of one scar or another. I feel a stab in my heart knowing she did this to herself.

"You know what I see?" I whisper to her. "Battle scars here" I run my fingers over the scars on her arms. Goose bumps covered her skin. "Here I see stripes, that you earned carrying two beautiful baby boys" I said, trailing my finger over her stretch marks, which were barely visible to the human eye. "And here" I said, running my finger across her cheek, "here I see the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. A girl who doesn't love herself the way I do, I'm going to fix that."

She shivers and leans back against my chest, staring into my eyes in the mirror. She looks so vulnerable, finally she seems to steel herself and asks a question.

"Why didn't you want to sleep with me when I came back?"

"I did sleep with you, I laid in bed with you all night."

"No, that isn't what I meant. Why wouldn't you…" She trails off and blushes, something I haven't seen in far too long.

"You were on drugs Bella, I would have never taken advantage of you like that"

"I'm not on drugs now" She says softly, but serious.

I stare at her reflection wide eyed. She couldn't be saying what I think she was saying.

"Sleep with me now." She looks up into my eyes.

"Bella you don't know what you're saying."

She turns around and stares me directly in my eyes.

"I do. I want you to make love to me"