A Ninja's Guide to Surviving High School
By: JAJapster
Copyright Stuff: Save the Penguins!

Summary:
AU- High school is tough, but it gets a lot tougher when a demonic fox lives inside you and all your friends are ninjas. It's a world of angst, rivalries, friendships and romance inside the halls of Konoha High, but outside, trouble is brewing. A dangerous world awaits a new generation of ninjas after graduation…assuming they all don't kill each other first.

IMPORANT AUTHOR'S NOTES:
I'm taking a break from the regular storyline of a Ninja's Guide to Surviving High School and instead writing a short filler if you will (you know, those retarded things that keep the anime from moving on to the next story arc?) about Naruto and company's regular school life. Take note, the filler takes place before the first chapter. Comments, critiques, praises etc are always very welcome.

Chapter Sixteen: A Ninja's Guide to Sex Ed (Omake)
Part IV: Day Two Part I (AKA: A Walk to Remember...Sort of)

"Sakura?"

Uchiha Sasuke was sitting there, clad in only a pair of shorts. His well toned body, an atlas of masculine perfection, was on display for her eyes only, a visual feast in which she gladly partook in. She was sitting across from him, her bare legs brushing against his as the two reclined on the grassy banks of the river.

"Yes, Sasuke?" she asked.

He leaned towards her, his faster growing closer and closer until their noses touched. His body pressed against hers, and together they fell back into the grassy blanket beneath them. Their eyes met emerald upon onyx in a blissful moment that lingered on for an eternity.

"Kiss me." He whispered.

"Oh, Sasuke," she said breathlessly. "Say it one more time."

"Kis-"

Beep! Beep! Beep!

The electronic beeping shattered the tranquility like a baseball smashing into a glass window into a million pieces. No, like a baseball smashing a priceless vase, a work of art, into an insignificant mess. That was what was happening. Something beautiful and priceless was being destroyed right before her eyes, and she was powerless to stop it.

"Sasuke! Come back!" she screamed, but it was already too late. Sasuke was gone. The grass, the sky, the river –they all vanished from around her, replaced by a spacious, white void that expanded endlessly in all directions.

Then she woke up.

Beep! Beep! Beep!

Oh, son of a…

With a bellowing inhuman roar, Sakura grabbed the digital alarm clock from off her beside dresser and hurled it at the wall. Only she missed the wall. Still disoriented from the abrupt extraction from her blissful fantasy, she managed to toss the blaring clock straight at her bedroom window. The fragile glass pane reacted exactly the way physics dictated when the clock hit it: it exploded. Shards of glass, pieces of the wooden frame, and the broken remains of her poor alarm clock cascaded down on the streets below, a rainstorm of debris that sent the pedestrians of Konoha scurrying for cover amidst a chorus of disgruntled curses.

Somewhere in the distance, a cat hissed defiantly.

Sakura groaned in dismay and buried her face in her pillow. Not only had the damn clock ruined her dream, but it would also cost her next month's allowance to fix her window too.

Her eyes closed, and she had almost dozed off to sleep once again, when suddenly her head jerked up with a start. What time was it? She frantically looked for her alarm clock and then realized it was lying in pieces in front of her house. Sakura scowled darkly and leaned over her bed and began rummaging through her backpack until she located her cell phone buried in one of the pockets. She flipped it open, and the luminescent numbers on the screen told her the time.

"Shit!" she swore. "I'm late!"

She made to leap out of bed, but suddenly something snagged on the back of her nightgown, and before Sakura knew what was happening, she landed on the floor. It was amazing how deceptively soft a carpeted floor looked until you hit your face on one, Sakura mused as she lay there, moaning in agony. With a soft groan, she staggered back to her feet, and when she saw what had happened, she groaned again. Her night gown had torn from where it had snagged on a broken piece of her bed's headboard, ripping the back of the thin garment practically into two.

Ok, calm down, Sakura, she mentally told herself. You'll have to replace the alarm clock, fix the window, and buy another designer night gown…no problem…no problem…nothing I can't handle.

She kept repeating this in her mind as she stalked into the bathroom. She undressed quickly, casting her ruined night gown in the trash before entering the shower and turning on the water. Immediately a jet of water splashed down on the pink-haired ninja, and from there, everything should have been just fine. Only it wasn't. The water was supposed to be hot, revitalizing and relaxing. Instead, it was freezing cold.

Someone used all the hot water! Sakura thought darkly as goose bumps began forming on her skin. The water was unbearable. Any colder and it would have been ice cubes pouring down from the shower head. She washed quickly, shivering every step of the way from the cold, and then jumped out of the shower.

After a cold shower it was important to dry off quickly lest you catch a cold. Or that was the urban legend anyway. So of course there wasn't a towel hanging on the metal rack where it always was. Sakura closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, her breasts rising and falling as she tried to keep her breathing steady. Hyperventilating and passing out wouldn't help anything.

So instead, her hands doing an inefficient job of covering herself, Sakura stalked over to her dresser and began going through it. Her underwear, thank goodness, hadn't mysteriously disappeared, and Sakura sighed in relief as she put it on. But the outfit she had put out the night before, her brad new, cute little mini skirt and matching top, was nowhere to be seen. In its place, dangling on the hanger where her clothes were supposed to be, was a white piece of paper.

Dear Sakura,

I thought I told you to put your new clothes in the wash! They're in the laundry machine washing. You're just going to have to wear something else. –Mother.

"Shit!" Sakura swore. No longer able to keep her growing anger under control, she decided to vent her frustration on her dresser and kicked it as hard as she could.

Sometimes Sakura regretted being a ninja. This was one of those moments. A normal person would've maybe bruised their toe from kicking Sakura's heavy, oak dresser, but a ninja whose specialty was super natural strength in unarmed combat?

Alright, I'm going to have to pay to repair the dresser too, Sakura mused miserably, almost on the verge of hysterics now.

No longer caring, she grabbed a pair of jeans and a light pink shirt from her closet, and threw them on. It wasn't the classiest outfit she had ever worn, and Ino would probably tease her at school for wearing it, but it would have to do. She grabbed her book bag from the floor and went down stairs towards the kitchen.

The kitchen was empty, and the dining table was bare. Of course. Sakura's mother went to work early today and didn't have time to make breakfast for her. It was Sakura's job to wake up early and prepare food if she wanted to eat. Yet another thing she had forgotten about.

"It's fine," Sakura lied to herself, trying to ignore the hunger pains that wracked her empty stomach. "I'm not that hungry anyway."

She flung the door open and strolled outside, pausing long enough to slam the door shut before setting her foot on the concrete road leading to Konoha High. Vaguely, she wondered if it was even possible for the day to get any worst than it already had. First she had woken up late, then the window, then the shower, then the dresser, then breakfast…

What else could possibly go wrong?

As if to answer, a loud clap of thunder echoed in the air, and a bolt of lightening forked across the sky. It never occurred to Sakura before then how dark it was outside, and how grim the billowing grey clouds overhead looked. Muttering curses, she turned around to walk back in the house and fetch an umbrella. Her hand closed around the door knob and she pushed the door open.

Click.

Sakura swore again. The door must have locked when it closed. She reached for her keys, but her hands only scraped the clothe interior of her jean pockets. Her eyes widened, panic setting in as the ominous implication of what this meant began to dawn on her. She checked again, digging frantically into her pockets, but it was a fruitless gesture. The keys weren't there because Sakura had been too distracted with the plethora of other disasters this morning and had forgotten to grab them.

A cold wind rushed past, whipping Sakura's shoulder length pink hair into her face and sending an unpleasant chill down her spine.

She turned away from her door in defeat and began walking towards school. Even if she started running now, there was no way she would be able to reach the sanctuary of Konoha High before it started pouring. It was inevitable for her to get soaked and show up late and looking like a wet dog. Her classmates would make fun of her, and Sasuke…Sasuke would probably think she was the biggest idiot in the world. And he would be right. She was an idiot.

A soft sob escaped her lips and tears of frustration welled up in her emerald eyes. At least it was official now. There was absolutely no way the day could get worst. Well, maybe if a car hit her and broke both her legs, but then at least she wouldn't have to go to school.

Sakura stalked down the sidewalk, tears streaming down the side of her face. She wanted to yell, wanted to scream, wanted to hit something if only to protest the injustice of the world. But it would make no difference. Haruno Sakura was having a crappy day, and surrounded only by her own misery, there was no one who would care.

"Oy, Sakura-chan!" a voice called from behind her.

Startled, Sakura paused and turned around. Running down the sidewalk towards her was Naruto.

Somehow her day had just gotten worst and it hadn't even taken a speeding car to do it. Amazing.

"What do you want, Naruto?" Sakura snapped. She rubbed her eyes, trying to hide her tears.

"Can I walk with you to class?" he asked.

"Aren't you already doing that?" she replied snappishly.

Naruto cocked his head to the side, a puzzled look on his face followed by a look of dawning enlightenment. "Oh yeah," he said. "Well, then can I carry your bag?"

"No," Sakura began to protest. She was a freaking ninja for crying out loud. Her training dictated that she should be able to carry a ninja twice her weight on her back for miles without assistance; she sincerely doubted a couple school books and a pad of paper would strain her endurance any. "I don't –Hey!"

Naruto grabbed her book bag and slung it over his shoulder beside his. He started walking. Sakura had no choice but to reluctantly follow him. They walked without speaking for a while. Sakura was too busy glowering and wallowing in self pity and Naruto was whistling an obscure tune while idly kicking a soda can down the street.

"Hey," Sakura said suddenly, breaking the silence between the two classmates. She glanced at Naruto. "You're not wearing your normal clothes."

Naruto always wore that ridiculous orange track suit of his, but today, he was wearing a pair of faded jeans, a white shirt, and a jacket. He almost looked normal for a change.

The spiky-haired ninja nodded, "Yeah, I forgot I put it in the wash so I had to wear something else. Then I burned my eggs on the stove and had to put out a small fire in my kitchen. Then I tripped down the stairs and had to pick up all my books and stuff. Then I locked myself out of my dorm."

Sakura couldn't help but notice that despite all the bad news, Naruto was still smiling. "Wow, sounds like you had a pretty crappy morning too."

"Yup."

"You don't look too bothered by it." She observed. "How come?"

Naruto winked at her. "Because now I'm with you."

It was probably the cheesiest thing Sakura had ever heard in her life, but it was also so ridiculously sweet and romantic that it made her heart flutter. But only for a moment. It was Naruto after all. He was probably just messing around with her, flirting but only in jest without any sincerity backing his words. Or was he?

She flushed, and when she was sure Naruto was busy staring up at the sky, she stole a glance at him. It never failed to astound her how much he had grown. He was taller than her now, and his boyish features had changed too. They were sharper now; manlier but with a trace of lingering femininity that Sakura had to admit was attractive, but only in a very Naruto-ish kind of manner.

She had to admit, he was no longer that little twerp she harassed during kindergarten, but a growing man. Not that his behavior was any indication. While his body may have grown, his personality was still that of hyperactive child, complete with all the unpredictability and spontaneity that drove all the instructors crazy.

Sakura mulled on this for a few minutes as they continued their walk to school. She knew he had a crush on her; it was common knowledge at school much to her embarrassment, but never had she taken him too seriously. He was alright, she guessed, always kind and dedicatedly loyal. Hell, he even made her laugh sometimes with his devious pranks and practical jokes.

They had just passed the halfway mark to school, a small, red wooden bridge that crossed over a running river, when it began to rain. It came down light at first, an icy mist that would have been relaxing if it wasn't a portent of the torrential downpour that was soon to follow.

Naruto took off his jacket and without a word, lifted it above their heads to shield themselves from the rain.

"You don't have to do that," Sakura protested.

He ignored her.

It began raining harder. Surprisingly the jacket kept them dry. Or Sakura was at least. Naruto's head was closer to the jacket, and droplets of water kept seeping through and landing on his hair. He didn't seem to mind though.

A few minutes later and Sakura was wishing she had worn something warmer. Even with Naruto's jacket, she could still feel the cold. The rain splashing their heels was freezing, and the gusts of wind didn't help matters either. Involuntarily, she drew closer to Naruto, finding solace in the warmth his body radiated.

"Getting kind of cozy, isn't it?" Naruto teased.

Sakura blushed again, but her need to keep warm kept her from retreating from Naruto's side. Instead, she muttered, "shut up," without any real sincerity at all. Naruto must have noticed because he began chuckling.

They walked without speaking for another few minutes. School was getting closer, but the streets were empty. Everyone else was already at school. It was just Naruto and Sakura who would be tardy, and for Naruto, that was nothing new at all. The instructor would be surprised that the normally studious Sakura would be late for first period, but Naruto? It was a surprise if he was actually on time.

Naruto seemed to know what Sakura was thinking. "We're going to be late anyway, Sakura. You might as well relax."

"Just because you're always late doesn't mean the rest of us enjoy it." Shot back Sakura, perhaps a bit more caustically than she intended. She hated being late for class, and the prospect of ruining her perfect attendance bothered her.

Naruto stopped walking, but he didn't look upset. Instead, there was something akin to pity in his cerulean eyes. After a moment, Sakura found she couldn't meet his gaze and looked down at the floor. Guilt washed over her, making her stomach feel queasy. It wasn't Naruto's fault she was having such a lousy morning, and it wasn't his fault she was running late for school. He was going out of his way to help her; it seemed like the least she could do was to be as pleasant as possible during their walk to school.

She sighed deeply, relaxing some of the tension pent up in her body. They started walking again.

"Sakura-chan," Naruto said suddenly. "I'm sorry about that poem yesterday. I know it upset you."

Sakura smiled. "No big deal. It was a good poem. It rhymed and everything. But, you know how sensitive I get when it comes to how I feel for Sasuke-kun."

She was careful to emphasize the last bit, to make it crystal clear to Naruto that she was interested in Sasuke and no one else. Not that it would really make much of a difference. Naruto was stubborn that way; Sakura could probably almost kill him and he would still harbor a crush for her.

Naruto scowled darkly at the mention of his rival's name and kicked the ground bitterly.

"What's your problem with Sasuke-kun anyway?" Sakura wondered.

"I don't know…" Naruto muttered. "It's just he's so…so…"

"Perfect?" she suggested.

"Well," his face contorted in a look of disgust, as if he had just swallowed something particularly distasteful. "Yeah, I guess. God, I can't believe I just said that."

Sakura supposed Naruto's confession was comforting in a way. At least it confirmed that she, or the entire female populace of Konoha High for that matter, wasn't completely blinded by Sasuke's charm. Guys too could see that Sasuke was talented beyond comparison, and that instilled hope in Sakura that it was possible that she wasn't as hopelessly in love with Sasuke as she previously believed. It proved that maybe, just maybe, part of her obsessive infatuation could be rationally justified.

She stifled a laugh and had to resist the urge to crack a gay joke about Naruto and Sasuke. The school had been ripe with them several years ago when they had "accidentally" kissed one another in quite possibly the most celebrated shonen-ai event since the advent of Sephiroth and Cloud. Sakura had been infuriated then, murderous even that Naruto had stolen Sasuke's first kiss, a momentous occasion that should have been reserved for her and her only.

But time had a habit of making even the greatest tragedies in life humorous, and Sakura had finally found it in her heart to finally forgive Naruto and laugh about it with everyone else. After about six years of silent resentment.

"No one's perfect," Sakura lied. If there was only one person in the entire world who could be perfect, Sasuke was definitely it. "We all have our strengths and weaknesses."

"Really?" Naruto raised an eyebrow. "What do you think my number one strength is?"

Sakura was surprised how easy it was to think of one, and how easy it was to say it with complete sincerity. "You're a good friend, Naruto."

"Good enough to get a date with you sometime?" he wondered, smiling hopefully.

Sakura shook her head. "Good try though."

The entrance to Konoha High could be seen in the distance, veiled in the curtains of pouring rain.

"I actually do feel more relaxed," Sakura confessed. "It's weird. I don't feel at all scared about showing up late. Normally I'd be freaking out now."

Naruto grinned. "I'm a horrible influence."

Sakura shook her head. "I think it's good for me to take it easy sometimes. You taught me that today."

The blonde-haired ninja scratched the back of his head embarrassedly.

They walked through the gates of Konoha High casually. There was no rush to their steps, no anxiousness in the way they approached the front doors of their high school. For once Sakura knew how Naruto felt, completely at ease with the world. No fear, no anxiety. They were already late; no amount of worrying or freaking out on their part could change that. Whatever happened would happen, and when it did, they would be waiting apathetically, a smile on their face.

The two ducked underneath the covered walkway heading to the front doors of Konoha High. The rain fell around them, splashing rhythmically on the sidewalk and nipping at them where they stood, dry and protected from the elements. The world beyond their sanctuary was grey, bleak and dreary, but standing beside Naruto, the warmth of his body positively washing over like a comforting blanket, everything felt like it might just be alright after all.

"Hey Naruto?" Sakura whispered. "Thanks."

She couldn't think of anything more to say than that. Thank you. It sounded like such an insignificant sentiment, and yet it conveyed gratitude so deep and sincere that it was impossible for Naruto to understand. Single handedly his presence, his friendship, his kindness and selflessness had saved her from her own misery.

Naruto favored her with a smile, but didn't say anything. But then he didn't need to. The smile said everything. It told her he did understand.

She had to force herself to pry away from Naruto's side. If she stayed any longer, she might get caught up in the moment and so something she would regret. Naruto was a friend, but as much as he tried, he would never supplant the place Sasuke held in Sakura's heart.

Sakura had only taken a step when Naruto spoke.

"Hey, Sakura?" he asked. She turned and looked at him. He was holding his wet jacket. It was balled up in his hands, dripping from the downpour of rain water it had absorbed in the service of keeping them dry.

In one smooth motion, he took his jacket and rang it out. Right on Sakura's head. She shrieked in terror and put her arms to protect herself, but it was useless. A deluge of icy cold water splashed down on the shocked female ninja, matting her pink hair flat against her head and making her clothes cling unpleasantly to her skin. She shivered, the early autumn breeze suddenly seeming much colder than it had seconds ago.

Naruto grinned and gave her a mischievous wink. "Thanks.". Before Sakura could regain her senses and slug him, he dashed inside school.

Sakura just stared after the fleeing ninja in stunned disbelief. He didn't…he did…there was no way…

After all that, after fostering the hope that Naruto had matured into a man she might one day have feelings for, in the end, he really was nothing more than a prankster, a trouble maker, and a persistent thorn in Sakura's side.

He was just Uzumaki Naruto after all. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Her face contorted into a mask of mixed emotions; an amazing distortion of livid anger, disbelief, confusion, and hysterical amusement, all combined in a mask of killing fury. She was going to kill that little bastard.

"NARUTO!"

Author's Notes:
I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. It's more Naru/Saku than usual, but it's a neat pairing to write with their love/hate relationship thing going on. I actually did a ton of writing this week –I have about 700 words done of the next chapter, and I wrote two drafts of the Omake. One draft rambled on and went on a completely random tangent involving yaoi fanfiction (readable on my xanga if you're curious to see how it could have happened) and the other is what you've just read. Couple of refrences to other movies, as well as a recreation of probably one of the THE most oftenly used openings to a Naruto high school fic. And speaking of fillers, I hear they're almost done and that Kakashi Gaiden will start soon! Awsome!

Please read and review! Love them reviews! Every one makes me smile and feel happy. Tell me what you liked, didn't like, etc etc, but please, just tell me! Validate my existence! Thanks!