What Happens in Vegas
Disclaimer: Theft isn't nice and it isn't legal. Since this story belongs to me, using it, reproducing it or translating it without my permission is stealing. Don't stoop so low. Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight.
A/N: This is going to be the first long author's note I've sent fit to write so bear with me please. Okay, so this is the first time I have had to step on my soapbox but I feel it is warranted. It should be no secret to any of you that I love to answer reviews and I respond to every one that I can. I love to answer questions and engage in dialog with my readers through PMs too. If you have questions, or something to say, please sign your review so that I can respond. No one likes to read negativity without a chance to rebut or explain their position. Also, please don't review and complain about other stories. I have plenty I could complain about but I respect each author enough to talk to each of them about my concerns. Please show me the same consideration. That is all I ask!
The rest of you wonderful readers absolutely blew me away last chapter. There were more than 100 reviews between the two sites for just the last chapter alone. That is more than twice as many for any of the other chapters. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Thank you also to the wonderful lolafalana for betaing this chapter! If you all haven't read her stories, check them out—they are great!
Chapter 25: Repercussions
BPOV
"Mom, Dad, this is Bella, my wife."
His words echoed through my head and I couldn't figure out what happened. We had a plan to tell them together tomorrow morning and here he was breaking the news tonight. What was worse, he didn't appear to be happy about it. His tone was laced with venom.
Carlisle and Esme stared in shock. Their eyes flickered back and forth between my face and Edward's. Esme tried to say something but, for as much as her mouth moved, no sound came out. I settled for turning to Edward.
"Edward, what's going on?"
"My parents felt the need to give their opinion on my choices in life and I wanted to make sure that they understood what those choices were," he said with unmistakable ire.
"What exactly does that mean?" I asked. I still didn't understand the tension that filled the room.
"Um," Carlisle mumbled as he finally found his voice. "I think we'll give you two a minute." He tugged on Esme's arm until she stumbled after him, still opening and closing her mouth soundlessly. They left through the open door and Carlisle closed it after him. I watched them leave before I turned back to Edward.
The anger had left his expression, replaced with hopelessness and desolation, as his shoulders slumped.
"Edward, what happened?" I asked again as I reached out to comfort him. He leaned away from me and I pulled my hand back. I didn't understand what had changed.
He looked up at me and took a deep breath. "Earlier this evening, after we danced, Emmett started teasing me that I would be the next to get married. Jasper, who had entirely too much to drink to be left alone with my little sister tonight, informed him that I beat them both and had gotten married in Vegas." He stopped and I waited patiently for him to continue.
When he finally did, his voice was quieter. "After we saw Alice and Jasper off, Mom and Dad cornered me in here and demanded to know about this." He held up his left hand and wiggled his ring finger, still bearing his wedding band.
"How did they find out?" I asked quietly. He was obviously upset at this turn of events.
"Mom overhead Jasper's conversation with Emmett." His intonation was flat and emotionless.
We were both quiet for a minute and I finally had to break the silence. "I take it that they did not take it well?"
"No, they didn't. When my mother finally got done calling me a degenerate for flirting with you while being married to Tanya, I couldn't handle anymore and came to get you," he admitted.
I was torn between anger at his parents for treating him so poorly and my own insecurities. His relationship with Tanya must have been more serious than he had let on if his own mother would believe that he had chosen to spend his life with her. My breathing had increased and my chest grew tight. I needed a minute to think and I crossed the room to one of the plush chairs.
Edward warred with himself and paced on the other side of the room. When he opened his mouth his voice was strained. "Bella, I can't do this."
"You can't do what?" I asked meekly.
"This!" he practically yelled in his agitation and motioned his hands at the space between us. "I can't be what you need me to be, Bella. It's not going to work!"
"How can you say that?" I shouted back. "I think we've been making it work just fine!"
"That's just it, Bella. I've been neglecting my career. Did you really think there was nothing more to medical residency than working every other day and a few nights on call?" he retorted.
"And I told you that I would do what you needed me to. If you have to work more, then I'm willing to see you when you have time," I reiterated.
"But that's not fair to you. I won't have time for you. I wasn't thinking clearly when we started all of this and it's time for me to do the responsible thing."
"Edward, what are you saying? I thought you were . . . I thought you wanted this as much as I do," I reasoned.
"I can't, Bella. I can't do this now." He sounded defeated.
"Is it Tanya, Edward? Are you still involved with her?" I accused.
"How could you think that?" he shouted.
"Oh, I don't know. She was invited to your birthday party, looked pretty comfortable when she pressed her lips to yours and your mother apparently thought you cared about her enough to marry her. Whatever would give me that idea?"
"I have no idea why Mom assumed I married Tanya. She is nothing to me. But it doesn't matter, Bella. I have to do the right thing and I can't let this continue. We'll sort out all of the technicalities when we get back to Chicago."
"I know you don't mean that, Edward. Please say you don't mean that," I begged.
"I do mean it. I don't want this," he stated matter-of-factly.
I just stared at him; unable and unwilling to believe him. The last four weeks had been wonderful and, after this weekend, I thought we could finally move forward. Now he was telling me that it had all been a lie and he didn't want me. What was I supposed to believe? I returned his intense gaze with unshed tears in my eyes.
"No . . ." I whispered.
"You should go home now, Bella," he said coldly. "Let me walk you to the truck."
I was unable to process it all. We had been so close and, now that his parents knew, we were over. I never conceived of the possibility that Edward's family would not accept me—accept us—but that was exactly what had happened. Not only had it destroyed the love of my life but it would decimate my friendship with Alice too.
Edward waited by the door and motioned for me to go through it. I tried to stop next to him and reach out to him but he shook his head and shifted away. The tears spilled over and stained my cheeks. I didn't want him to see me fall apart so I ran as fast as my heels would allow. Edward handed me the bag that contained my clothes and my keys that I had set near the front door. I dug through it for my keys, but had difficulties seeing through my tears and started the truck as quickly as I could. The last thing I saw before I pulled out was Edward watching me with his eyebrows pulled together and a deep frown.
I somehow made it back to Charlie's house without wrecking the truck and I was thankful that Charlie was already asleep despite it only being 11:00. I stripped off my dress and tossed it into my suitcase unfolded. My new pajamas mocked me from the end of my bed and I threw them in, too. I was hurt and angry and too full of energy to sleep. Angry tears coursed down my cheeks while I packed my suitcases with a vengeance. I set them by the door and fear paralyzed me. Charlie and I were supposed to go to the Cullen's for brunch in the morning and we were leaving for the airport from there. I didn't want to face them now. Besides, there was no reason for me to be at a family event now.
I sent Rose a text, asked her to pick me up on their way to Port Angeles, and laid down on my old bed. My heart ached and I let the sadness consume me. Memories of our time together rolled through my mind and I remembered his touch. The pang it induced nearly sent me over the edge and I cried until I no longer had any tears. I just wanted him and the fact that he didn't want me the same way was heart-breaking. Maybe this had been his intention after all. Maybe he had never wanted a relationship with me but did not want things to be awkward for the wedding. Perhaps that was why he insisted on keeping it a secret. In that context, it made sense.
Morning dawned on Independence Day without much sleep for me. My eyes were bloodshot and puffy. Charlie did not say anything about it or my jeans and t-shirt when I arrived in the kitchen. I made myself a bowl of cereal and plopped down at the table to eat it.
"Hey, kid. Aren't we having brunch at the Cullen's this morning?" Charlie asked brightly.
"No, Dad. Plans changed a little bit after the wedding last night. Rose and Emmett are picking me up here," I informed him.
"Well, okay. I'll join you with the cereal then. What time are they going to be here?"
"Probably about 10:00, I guess. Our flight leaves at noon," I answered as nonchalantly as I could manage.
"It was good to see you this weekend, Bells, even if we didn't get to spend a lot of time together. Are you going to be able to come home for Thanksgiving this year or are you going to your mom's?" he asked.
"I was going to do Thanksgiving here and Christmas with Mom, if that's okay with you. I have a few days off for each."
"I think that sounds good. Do you mind if, well, I invite Sue Clearwater to join us?" he asked with trepidation.
"Dad? Do you have a girlfriend I don't know about?" I teased.
"Well, we have been seeing each other for the last few months," he said. His face blushed and he rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment.
We bantered for a few more minutes and just sat at the table until the doorbell rang. Dad followed me to the door and gave me a hug as I gathered my luggage.
"I'll miss you, Bells. Call me when you get home, okay?"
"I will, Dad. Thank you."
When I went to get into the SUV; Edward was already crammed into the backseat and Emmett drove. Rose motioned for me to get in and I let out a huge breath. Edward glanced at me and turned back to the window. He looked tired and worn in that singular glance but we never said a word to each other for the entire drive. In fact, he made sure we kept as much distance between us as the space would allow. When we arrived at the airport in record time, we each hoisted our own bags from the car. Edward strode forward purposefully and fell into step beside Emmett.
Rose gave me a funny look. "Is everything all right, Bella?"
"No," I replied simply.
"Hey, do you want to switch seats with Emmett so you all can talk?" she offered.
"I don't think that would be a good idea, Rose," I answered quietly.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"No."
She just nodded and walked beside me silently. This was where things differed between Rose and Alice. Alice would have pushed for details until she got them. Rosalie was content to let me come to her while standing with me. We received our passes, boarded the plane without incident, and were soon winging our way to Seattle. Rose let me stare out the window through the short flight and only interrupted my thoughtless staring when it was time to deplane.
I ran into Edward's back when we went to the gate because I was staring off into space. He instinctively reached out to steady me. As soon as his hands grasped my upper arms, the familiar pulse between us flared and he searched my eyes before he squeezed his shut and dropped his hands. He looked defeated again and I just didn't understand. This was what he wanted.
We took seats on the opposite sides of the boarding gate and waited by looking everywhere but at each other. Every once in a while, I would peek over at him and my heart broke a little more each time. I felt bad for Emmett and Rose because they were caught between us in our strange tension without much explanation. How could I tell them, though, that my husband didn't want me anymore? That he probably never had and had only pretended for his sister?
Rose sat with me through the entire trip to Chicago. We discussed our plans for the next day since neither of us had to work. She and Emmett were going to a fireworks display on Lake Michigan as soon as we got home and were going to relax the next day. She invited me to come with them, but it was half-hearted. No one wanted a depressed friend along on a romantic date. I tried to assure her that I was going to stay in and relax and to go and have a good time. Truthfully, I would probably drown my sorrows in work.
Her next attempt at a distraction was to open the SkyMall and speculate on what people would actually use the gadgets in there for. We giggled over some of our scenarios and I spent less time brooding than I had planned. True to her nature, Rosalie never pried and supported me just as I needed at the moment. Before I knew it, we landed at O'Hare and I was exiting the plane. We trudged over to baggage claim and my lack of sleep was catching up with me. I felt like a zombie.
Emmett and Edward kindly stepped forward and pulled our bags from the conveyor belt and brought them to us. Rose and Emmett debated on where to drop their luggage while Edward and I stood there awkwardly.
"Bella, I . . ." Edward started to say. A tiny flicker of hope flared in my heart as I searched his emerald green eyes, but Emmett interrupted the moment.
"Hey, Bella, are you riding home with Edward or are you just grabbing a cab?"
"Actually, Em, I am going straight to the hospital," Edward said shortly.
"I'll follow you out, guys," I replied with dejection. As I turned towards the door, Edward caught my arm.
"Goodbye, Bella," he whispered. It was the only time he had ever used those words and the smidgen of hope that had taken root died instantly. It sounded so final. I fled before he could see me cry.
EPOV
Every word I spoke to Bella crushed me. My fears had been confirmed by my parents tonight in the worst way and I had to end things before she hated me. I loved her so much and it killed me to watch the tears form in her eyes. When I helped her out the car, my resolve almost crumbled. I came within seconds of stopping her and confessing everything torturing me but she peeled out before I worked up the nerve.
I numbly walked back into the house and my dad met me in the hallway.
"Edward, can your mother and I have another word? Where's Bella? We'd like to talk to you both," he said.
My anger overflowed and spewed from my mouth before I could filter it. "I think you've said enough tonight, Dad. I sent Bella home. You told me to take care of it, and I did. Good night." My feet carried me up the stairs and I barely made it into my bathroom before my stomach rolled. I heaved into the toilet for what felt like hours until my dry gags were all that remained. I had been so focused on my stomach that I didn't feel the tears that were pouring down my face.
What had I done? I had just thrown away the best thing that had ever happened to me at the first sign of trouble. Perhaps it was better that way. I wanted the support of my parents and it was clear that we were not going to receive it.
Sometime in the night, my mother knocked softly and asked if she could come in but I didn't answer. I didn't want to see her disappointment again and I was angry with her. Besides, I wasn't sure if I could pull myself off the bathroom floor and my throat was too tight to call out. I wanted Bella. I wanted to feel her arms around me and her comforting, loving presence. The pain increased when I realized it was no longer mine to have.
It was still early when the smells of breakfast filtered up to my room and my stomach rumbled. Maybe there was a chance that Bella would show up this morning like we'd planned and we could straighten everything out. I jumped in the shower and dressed quickly. I left my suitcase in the front hall and had to slow my pace as I walked to the dining room. There was no one there but my parents and grandparents.
"Edward, darling, why don't you join us?" Grandma Cullen asked.
The disappointment was acute when I realized Bella wasn't coming and I had to swallow the bile that rose in my throat. "No, thank you, Grandma. I'm just getting a cup of coffee," I managed to say.
My mother trailed behind and waited until I had filled my cup before she spoke. "Edward, I'm really sorry about last night. We were just surprised. Please tell Bella that we're sorry for overreacting."
"I don't think I'm going to be able to do that, Mom. Tell Dad not to worry about taking me to the airport. I'll have Emmett come get me."
"But, Edward—"
"Look, you made your point perfectly clear last night. I really don't think I can stand hearing any more. Please. I love you and I'll see you at Thanksgiving, okay?" I gave her a hug and went to tell my grandparents goodbye.
Bella wasn't in the car yet when Rose and Emmett picked me up and, other than thanking them for the ride, I didn't say a word. We pulled up to Bella's house in no time and I watched her through my perch in the backseat. Her eyes were puffy and red and her beautiful smile was non-existent. I wanted to go to her and kiss away her troubles but I knew I was the cause of them. I couldn't try to re-earn her trust with an audience and it didn't change the fact that the reasons behind my words were still valid.
Rose put her in the backseat with me and the one look I allowed myself almost undid me. I tucked my body against the side of the car to keep from pulling her to me. The tension overflowed and it was a relief to pull into the airport. Bella did not seem inclined to talk either so I walked with Emmett. He noticed that all was not well and offered to switch the seats around so Bella and I could talk but I declined his offer. I needed time to think.
All the short flight gave me was time to miss her. I still had no idea what to say. I kept my distance at SeaTac but I did sneak as many peeks of her as I could get away with. Even miserable, she was so beautiful and guilt washed through me for causing her so much pain.
Emmett tried to distract me from my morose musings during our flight to Chicago. We discussed the Cubs' chances to make the play-offs and the off-season trades by the Bears and the Seahawks. The downside was that it gave me no more time to figure out how to apologize to Bella. Before I knew it, we were trekking to baggage claim. I jumped forward and pulled her luggage from the belt and handed it to her. Nice gestures were all I had at this point.
Emmett asked if I could take her home and I panicked. That would be the worst car ride in history so I made the excuse that I had to go straight to the hospital. It was the dumbest thing as she only lived a few blocks away but it was all I could come up with.
I told her goodbye and ran for my car as I saw her tears start to fall again.
I made it up to the NICU by 8:00 and dove right into my work. It kept me occupied and forced me not to think of all the ways I had failed over the course of the last twenty four hours. The night was quiet up there, but the ER was packed with firework injuries. How these idiots managed to forget basic fire safety precautions once a year was always a mystery to me.
Because Monday was a holiday, there were few scheduled surgeries and inductions. We tended to the babies under our care and I fell asleep at my desk twice. The crappy hospital coffee I had to drink reminded me of how Bella used to bring me something better and my fingers itched to dial her number. My phone showed two calls, one from Dad and one from my mom, by the time I left at four in the afternoon. But I wasn't ready to talk about my divorce so I didn't call them back.
My apartment smelled a little stale when I arrived but my exhaustion took precedence and I just fell onto the bed, still fully clothed. My sleep was not restful. Visions of Bella's lovely face twisted in pain floated through my subconscious and made my stomach cramp. At midnight, I hauled myself off my bed and went to the kitchen to make dinner. There was a frozen pizza underneath a tub of vanilla ice cream in my freezer and I popped it in the oven.
Something had gone bad in the refrigerator so I cleaned it out while I waited. I would need to go to the grocery again this week because there was nothing left to eat. After eating Bella's cooking and my mother's all weekend, the pizza tasted like cardboard and it was wholly unsatisfying. My stomach was full, though, and I went back to bed without complaint.
When I woke, I was still as tired as I had been before I went to bed and I only had about two hours until I had to be back at the hospital. I just grabbed a muffin and a large coffee from Starbucks on my way in. My father called three more times and I sent him to voicemail.
The NICU was busy for the afternoon. Since most doctors' offices had been closed the day before, the Labor and Delivery floor was packed and we were called in on a number of deliveries. Most of them were routine but there were two that were more volatile. The first occurred shortly after I reported to the floor. Mrs. Brown was only thirty two weeks along and had been on bed rest since the end of her first trimester. Despite the use of all the tools in our arsenal, her OBGYN had been unable to delay delivery any longer. The first complication was that the baby was breech and they had been unable to turn him. By the time he was born, the umbilical cord was wrapped firmly around his neck and his lungs were only partially functional. He was small, only 2.7 pounds and thirteen inches long. We were forced to intubate him and place him in an incubator once he was stable.
It was 6:30 in the evening when I was called out again. That time the pregnancy had been normal and the baby was full term. After sixteen hours of labor, the baby's heartbeat became irregular and his movements were non-existent. They moved his mother into the OR for an emergency Caesarian section and we triaged him immediately. Luckily, he was only going to need us for a few days, if not hours. Nevertheless, by the time I made it back to the floor at 8:00 I was tired and hungry.
Casey offered to run to the cafeteria and I gratefully accepted. I started my rounds while I waited and she returned quickly with a sandwich and some chips for my evening meal. Apparently, it was meatloaf night and everything else had been consumed in an effort to avoid it. Looking at the barely edible meal, I thought of Bella and the dinners she brought me while I was working. I did miss the food; steak was certainly preferable to ham and cheese on dry bread. But it was more than that; I missed our easy conversations and her smile. I had the urge to send her a text message to tell her that, but, with the way I left things, I wasn't sure how it would be received.
My desire to have her in my life did not resolve my main sticking point. Residency was grueling. I had seen my fair share of friends' and colleagues' relationships destroyed because their partners could not adjust. Was it fair to give up without trying to avoid the future pain? Or would it be better to give her a choice in the matter and see how it went? I didn't have the answers I craved.
I prepared to start my rounds again when Casey called to me from the nurses' station. "Dr. Cullen, you have a call on line five."
"Thanks, Casey. I'll pick up in the back," I responded. Calls seldom came in for me through the switchboard and I had no idea who would be calling at almost ten at night.
"Dr. Cullen speaking," I said as I picked up the line.
"Ah, Dr. Cullen," replied a familiar voice. "This is Dr. Cullen from Forks General. How are you this evening?"
"What can I do for you, Dad?" I asked flatly.
"Well, I thought I would give this a shot since you aren't returning my calls," he said genially.
"Some people might take that to mean that I don't want to talk to them."
"Fortunately, I'm not some people. I'd like your opinion on a consult if you have a moment."
"Of course," I said somewhat quizzically. My dad rarely had the need to ask for consultations in Forks and certainly not from a doctor who was still in his residency.
"The patient is a fifty year old woman; generally in excellent health. For the last several days, she has been having difficulty breathing and is given to emotional outbursts."
"Funny, Dad. I'm sorry that Mom is so upset but I'm not sure how I can help," I replied evenly.
"You could call her, Edward. We both feel terrible about how we handled things on Saturday night. She feels like she's all alone."
"She has you, Dad. How is that more alone than she ever is?" I asked. I knew that I was being obstinate but I couldn't help it. I felt like a child being chastised. Again.
"Her life has always been focused on you kids and you know that. Two of her kids are in Jamaica on their honeymoon. You are refusing to answer her calls and she doesn't know if she can call Bella." His voice was almost pleading.
"Why would she call Bella?"
"They normally talk every couple of weeks. Ever since she and Alice became roommates in college, your mother has been like a surrogate mom to her. Bella's mother is kind of flighty. And then there is the fact that she is your wife. I cannot imagine why she would have anything to say."
"Dad, I can't talk to Mom right now. I just can't. If she wants to call Bella, she can, although I am not sure how Bella would feel about it right now—" I broke off and didn't know how to continue.
"How is Bella?" he asked tentatively.
I rubbed my hand across my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. "I don't know, Dad. We haven't spoken since Saturday," I sighed.
"You what?" He demanded.
"What do you want from me, Dad? Can't I do anything right?" I tried to keep my voice down but I wasn't entirely sure the effort was successful.
"Do you want to contact the attorney, son?" His voice was quieter and somewhat sad.
I sat down heavily. I hadn't realized I was standing. "No, Dad, I really don't."
"Then why aren't you talking to her, Edward? I don't understand."
"I don't know how to fix it, Dad. Even if I could convince her to forgive me, the problems are still there. Those haven't—and aren't—going to change."
"Work through it together. That's the best advice I can give," he offered.
I snorted. "Four days ago, your advice was that it couldn't be done and to take care of it."
"Four days ago, I thought you were married to Tanya."
"Did you all really hate her that much?" I asked.
"Yes." His answer was quick and succinct.
I laughed. "At least I'm in good company. And your opinion on what I should do changed so drastically when you found out it was Bella instead?"
"Yes, it did," he answered pensively. "It was easy to look at the two of you and see the bond there. That was one reason your mother was so upset. She was hoping that more would come of that and when she found out that you were already taken . . ."
"But why would she assume it was Tanya? We broke up months ago!"
"Who else would it be, Edward? Tanya was the only girl you've ever been serious with and we didn't even know you knew Bella that well," he reasoned.
"I guess I don't know Bella that well. We met two days before we got married." I figured he already thought me irresponsible; I couldn't make it any worse.
"Seriously? Two days? Wow."
"I know. Anyway, Dad, tell Mom that I'll try to call her later in the week. It's my last week in the NICU and I've got a lot of making up to do."
"I will. Where do you go after this?"
"Your favorite—surgery."
"You're going to love it! Have a good week and, for God's sake, start answering your phone, please!"
"I will, Dad. I love you. Thanks for calling and making me talk. I needed it," I told him. If I were being honest with myself, I had wanted to talk to him about it for a long time. It felt good to be able to get an outside opinion that understood the pressures. Maybe if Bella ever forgave me, my mother would be a good resource for her.
We said our goodbyes and I finished my rounds. The night dragged on and I could feel the weight of the week in my bones. Dr. Johnson, the attending on the floor this evening, asked if I could stay late tomorrow and pick up a shift in the neo-natal nursery later in the week. Sadly, I was eager to agree. I had no one to go home to and I was afraid to face Bella's wrath without a well, thought-out apology.
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