THOR and company join my birthday party. The following day I will take a vacation. Of course, they are all devastated by the fact that I will spend the next two weeks in an unknown location, especially BRUCE BANNER who has to see another therapist to help him manage his anger issues during my absence. THOR tries to cheer him up.
THOR
Don't worry, Bruce. It's going to be fine. You did make progress in the last three months. And you don't have to be ashamed if you turn into that green monster because you have friends who are ready to do anything to stop you going on a rampage.
BRUCE
Thanks, it really helps.
THOR
If necessary I will ask Loki to use the Casket of Ancient Winters to cool you down.
ODIN
The Casket of Ancient Winters is not a toy! Speaking of your brother where is he?
THOR
He told me that he wanted to pay Red Skull a visit to talk about their next steps to world domination.
ODIN
Your brother has some strange hobbies.
FRIGGA
Just let him play with his friends, my king. As long as they make him happy it doesn't matter if they try to conquer this realm. By the way, I assume that he has fallen in love with a woman.
FANDRAL
A woman? That's surprising. I always thought he was playing for his own team.
ODIN
What's that supposed to mean?
FANDRAL
You know... Well... Oh, there's Lady Darcy... and... Loki?
LOKI
Hello, everyone.
THOR
I thought you wanted to see Red Skull.
LOKI
Sorry, brother. I lied. I wanted to surprise you.
DARCY
We are together now!
FANDRAL
You are the woman he - the God of Mischief - has fallen in love with?
DARCY
To me he is the God of Love. And I mean 'Love' with a capital 'L' like 'LOKI' or... 'Lance-A-Lot'. That's how I call him when we are alone.
VOLSTAGG
Great, I lost my appetite.
HOGUN
...
SIF
You take the words right out of my mouth, HOGUN.
TONY STARK
The God of love? Don't make me laugh. There's only one man who can be the God of Love. And that's me – Tony Stark also known as The Invincible Love Machine.
PEPPER
He really is a machine. But I'm still waiting for the love part.
ODIN
(to LOKI)
You can't be with a mortal woman. I forbid it!
LOKI
Of course, Thor can stick his big hammer in every woman he wants and I must not.
JANE
Hey, I'm not every woman and Thor doesn't stick his big hammer... Honestly, it isn't that big.
Everybody looks at THOR.
THOR
What? She is talking about the hammer.
JANE
(whispering)
Yeah, right.
STEVE ROGERS
(to THOR)
I know what you are going through. Since the experiment that gave me that incredible body I'm dealing with... some parts of my body that were... left out during the enhancement process. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
THOR
I've told you she was talking about the hammer.
STEVE ROGERS
I know, I know. 'Your hammer'.
SIF
(to JANE)
Is it really that...?
JANE
It was disappointing at first. But... What am I talking about. It still IS disappointing.
DARCY
I have to admit Loki's... spear isn't all that large. But he knows how to handle it.
JANE
Can you ask him to give Thor some advices - you know - how to wield his hammer?
DARCY
Don't you worry. Loki will teach your boyfriend a good lesson. After all, he IS the God of Love.
PEPPER
Can I also put Tony on the list?
DARCY
Sure. Every woman should have her own God of Love.
PEPPER
Just have Loki teach him the love part.
FANDRAL
I could use some advices, too.
FRIGGA
His Majesty also needs lessons in... pleasing his woman. Sign his name on the list.
ODIN
What are you talking about?
FRIGGA
My king, we have been together for ages. Our children are grown up. Now it's time for our sleeping chamber to get some fresh air.
THOR
(to LOKI)
Have fun with our father.
LOKI
You want me to throw up?
ERIK
(to me)
You're sure you want to go?
ME
I'm going to miss it. But I need some time away from that crazy bunch.