09-August-3847, Eridani
Personal Log: Encrypted
Dostya is avenged. It is what she would want, I think. But at what cost, what cost? Hex5 is under confinement, wishing, I am sure, for the prison of Commander Godwyn and his interrogation chamber. I will not concern myself with his fate. If he was acting under QAI's orders, if he had no say, Mathea will have the truth from him. If he was acting of his own accord, it will be worse for him, oh yes.
Father has obtained the Gate codes for Earth from QAI and has shared them with the Coalition. Rhiza has sent a summons for me. She has declared that our Princess has ordered the final strike. Hall agrees. We are to retake Earth, and seal the Rift. The Princess has foreseen that the Seraphim are building a 'Quantum Arch'. With it, they will be able to pour into our galaxy in untold number. The virus is not ready, but we are out of time, out of time.
I cannot accept what tomorrow will bring. Even my Princess' peace is not enough. I know what must be done; she has told me, but I cannot accept it. She tells me that there will be an end to war, for a time, that the gates will be destroyed, each world under its own rule, that I will have a place in this new order. Here on the edge of victory, she tells me not to doubt, but the price is too high. I feel her hand on my cheek, the ethereal press of her lips on my brow. Even as she soothes me, I writhe with anguish. Come tomorrow's eve, she will be gone.
[…]
Aiko paid me a visit. A reconciliation, a promise. This will soon be over; she has accepted my Princess' words. She will accompany me, as a Major and a friend. Our eyes locked, and then she smiled sadly. Finally, she asked the question that had been plaguing her since I fired Black Sun.
"Why'd you pull me through the gate?"
I had no words, not at first. As she sat facing me, cross-legged in her dark blue slacks, I foraged for an answer. Finally, I told her just as quietly that she did not deserve to die. That she was a fine officer. That I believed, hoped, she would make a Sword of the Way.
At first, anger flashed, then silence, cold, then thoughtful, and finally, she asked, "Is that all?"
I couldn't tear myself away from her steady stare, couldn't bear to look at her. Then she pushed herself to her feet. "When you've decided, let me know." Her words were only slightly cold.
"I couldn't let you die." I told her back quietly as she froze in the doorway. "You would have been overwhelmed. There were too many of them. So many dead already. I knew you'd hate me. Knew Father and Dostya would hate me. I had to, for all of us. To stop Marxon cleansing the galaxy. But sparing you? That I could do. If only…"
She didn't say anything, but seemed to nod to herself ever so slightly. Then she straightened. "08:30, Colonel. Get some rest; I'll see you in the hanger."
Then she was gone, the words caught in my throat.
[…]
Thalia visited me next, bright and cheery eyed as ever, though her mouth was grim. They had extracted the truth from Hex5, but I chose not to hear it. His remains had been handed over to Father for dissection and his implants would not doubt be analysed at length. Amalia would recover, thanks to my work on my own implants and on Mathea's chip, she informed me, then looked at me critically and told me that Rhiza would want to see me, so I should rest while I could. Celene was in council with her, as were Hall and Fletcher. Then she smiled, and left, just as Mathea approached and waited for Thalia to leave.
Her eyes were as cool as ever, and her features were smooth and still. I wasn't sure what she wanted, but I was exhausted. "The Princess will name a new Avatar, Champion." From the way she regarded me, I wasn't entirely sure what to think. "You have done well, better than anyone could have expected."
I wished she would get to the point.
"We will have need of guidance once she is gone."
The Way's peace eluded me.
"There will be no more need for a Champion after this."
"There won't be any wars left."
"An Avatar of Peace. Harmony to you, Champion."
"Rhiza…"
"Is a Crusader. Think on it. The Illuminate has need of you."
"And you? Will you become an Evaluator?"
"If the Princess wishes it."
I shook my head. "When this is over–"
"You have sworn yourself to her, as have we all, and you will uphold her will."
"Yes…" I all but whispered, remembering Arnold's last transmission.
[…]
That night, I heard my Princess' voice in my dreams. She spoke of much, revealing her hopes for the future and sharing silence, just sitting beside me. She told me not to blame myself for what had passed or what was to come. I had done all that she asked, and I would not waver now. When I woke, I would remember shapes, images, feelings, but her words would be ingrained within my cortex, rising up for when I needed them. After the gates were gone, war would never occur on the same scale again.
I wanted to ask about Kael, but couldn't find the words. The only image I remember vividly was Rhiza.