Ok, I doubt I'll be berated for this since I don't get much reviews muahahaha. I had told a reviewer to prepare for the roller coaster ride. I have three ways to end this scene. One was predicted by the reviewer which is really too predictable to be used. I chose this plot to link it to the title of this fic. I know many fic had depicted Jim as genius and he's strong enough to withstand any level of despair, but I feel that Jim had times when he felt helpless, powerless and incompetent. That warp core scene does prove that Jim can be scared. Jim has to be whumped so that we fans will care for him.
This chapter was inspired by an old drama I was when I was a kid. A female main character who reappeared to her loved one after he thought she was dead only to almost to be mortally wounded and died in her lover's arms later. It had left me great impact. If she had never showed herself to the one she loved again, she might not have died.
No, the fic hasn't ended. Hold on! Two more chapters to go. Don't hang up on me!
Thank you Starsinger for the beta.
I don't own Star Trek.
Chapter 25: Fear
He thought he was caught by his carelessness. Jim was running in his mind a number of ways of getting out of this.
"Mr. Kirk!" he heard a familiar voice calling for him.
He heaved a sigh of relief to see Riley armed with phaser when he maneuvered his hoverchair around.
"Why are you here? It's dangerous here," Riley whispered. Jim wondered if he should come up with a lie when Ambassador Spock came over with Carol. Both armed and ready to fight if need be.
"Security was breached. All of them were knocked out. They intend to hold us hostage to negotiate with the admirals," Carol explained. "I managed to send a message out to Mr. Sulu. I'm sure he'll inform Captain Spock and the admirals. We have to hold our own before reinforcement shows up," Spock Prime raised an eyebrow at Carol, who covered her mouth when she realized she had said too much.
"Most of the Enterprise personnel had disembarked from the ship for a break. Now all that were left are the people from Terra. There are women and kids onboard. Go back and assist those people who are in similar situations as yours and disembark from the ship with them. Mr. Sulu will have the door open in 6.3 minutes," Ambassador Spock said gently patting Jim on his shoulder. Leave the rest to them. There were ten of them to be taken out.
Jim nodded. It could not be helped since he could not fight in his condition. Anyway, they had gotten this far without him. They would be fine.
Jim was relieved that the terrorists had not hurt anyone from Terra. They still had a conscience after all.
Two hundred of them were locked in the meeting room. Jim unlocked it with his Captain's code. He was lucky that Spock had not removed his user right in accessing any of the rooms in the Enterprise.
The groups of people were stunned to see him. They looked lost to Jim, perhaps due to loss of their prior memories from wherever they were.
"Come with me!" Jim ordered in his commanding tone. They had no time to lose.
Sulu was waiting impatiently outside when Jim finally arrived with the group of people ready to disembark from the Enterprise through the hangar doors. He was surprised to see Jim leading the people to safety. Even if he had lost his memories, there were some things that just would not change.
Sulu had brought a few guys with him. They intended to sneak onto the bridge. Sulu did not like it that their bridge was invaded. If he had been on the bridge, this would not have happened just like the incident with the tribbles.
From the ship-wide broadcast, the terrorist had begun negotiation with Admiral Archer and Captain Spock. To his horror, Carol and Riley were both knocked out and Ambassador Spock was cuffed after being taken by surprise by the terrorist group. Even Uhura and Chekov were out cold since they would not accommodate their requests.
The terrorist group did not want to be arrested and locked up after leaving the ship. They intended to escape to another planet and Enterprise would be the transport.
Spock frowned. He was calculating the time when Archer's men were ready to charge in. They were just waiting for the right time. He could count on Sulu's skills of infiltration. It was ironic that the ship they were invading was their own.
With Sulu's ninjitsu skills, he managed to take out five who was guarding by the turbolift. The four redshirts he brought aboard were shot by someone in ambush. Sulu was caught by surprise when the man held a phaser right in his face. Even as Sulu was skilled, he could not dodge in time. Right before he could take Sulu out, the man was stunned and dropped to the ground revealing Jim who had been shadowing Sulu. He had picked up a phaser from one of the guys Sulu had brought along.
"Why are you here?" Sulu demanded.
"I'm just worried," Jim merely answered before wheeling himself into the turbolift. "You can't do this alone."
Sulu sighed in exasperation. He would get it from Dr. McCoy later for letting him on, but he knew there was no way to talk him out of it once he made up his mind. Sulu could see a glimpse of his former Captain within Jim.
It was the remaining five on the bridge that would pose a problem.
"We have to find a way around them to knock them out once we hit the bridge. I'll be the decoy, you will take them out," Sulu instructed before he even pressed the control for the bridge. Jim looked at Sulu determinedly. He nodded. He would do it.
"Good! You'll do great!" Sulu smiled. Jim frowned at his words which he had used on him two years back ordering him to bluff a certain human augment in the Captain's chair. Since he trusted him as Jim of Terra, he would do his best. He would, of course, even lay down his life for his crew as their former Captain if needed.
As soon as the turbolift opened, Sulu sprung into action. He knocked the first one out hitting his head and stunned the second one using his own phaser against him.
The third one slipped and fell. He was stupid. The fourth proved to be a challenge. He was the one who knocked both Carol and Riley out together. Before he could get Sulu, Jim fired on him. He fell on the ground with a thud. Sulu smiled and thanked him. His facial expression changed when the leader of the terrorist held a phaser on Jim's head. He did not even notice him creeping up on Jim.
"Put your phaser down!" He roared. He yanked Jim up by his shoulder. Jim winced in pain. He threw Jim to the ground. "Put your phaser down!" He repeated. Sulu had no choice.
"No, Mr. Sulu," Jim yelled but that earned him a kick to his head. Jim doubled over in pain trying to cover his head with his arms.
"Jim!" Spock Prime shouted.
"Ok, don't hurt him. I will put the phaser down," Sulu placed his phaser down obediently while raising his hand up and kicked the phaser over. "Don't hurt him."
Sulu was careful not to provoke them. Captain Spock had made his arrangements. They would be coming for them. Sulu stole a glance from the corner of his eyes at the turbolift.
There was no warning, as the turbolift were hacked open and reinforcement came charging in forcing the leader to a corner.
While they were focused in taking the leader down, no one had noticed that the member who was stupid to fall on the ground had woken up and he took out a phaser in secret and took aim.
He attempted to take out at least some of the Starfleet officers and have them perish with him.
And the sound of phaser fire was heard. Sulu's blood froze. Someone was shot. In reflex, he kicked the phaser he gave up earlier right back to his hand and immediately turned the direction of the phaser to only see the terrorist trembling, dropping his phaser in fear. Some of the security rushed over to cuff the man in place.
The first thing he saw when he turned around was a kneeling figure collapsed with a small contented smile on his face.
"Captain!" Sulu cried out.
"Jim!" Ambassador Spock and Carol cried out as well upon noticing what had happened.
It appeared that only Jim had noticed that man who was aiming at the unconscious Riley in secret. He barely managed to crawl over to him in the nick of time to take the phaser shot for Riley.
A searing pain shot through Jim as he collapsed feeling glad that Kev was safe. Blood was oozing out from his chest and a pool of blood was forming quickly around him.
Riley as well as Chekov and Uhura who just woken up from the noise was shocked to see Jim lying in the pool of his own blood. They could not believe their eyes.
Captain Spock charged in to arrest the leader and his rest of the minions together to only witness the worst that had happened. Scotty was frozen in place to what he was seeing.
McCoy ran over to check Jim over. Blood was spurting out of Jim's mouth like waterfall. Jim had gone into shock.
"Damnit! Jim, stay with me! Don't sleep!" McCoy cried trying to stop the blood flowing out his chest desperately. The red and sticky liquid from his wound seeped through his fingers running down the back of his hand. McCoy knew it was futile and could not be stopped. Jim's eyes were rolling to the back in his head as he struggled to catch his breath. His pulse was weakening rapidly.
Even without tricorder, McCoy already knew that he was hit in his heart. This time, the phaser which was set to maximum had blasted his arteries. There was no reprise. Deep down, he already knew that Khan's blood would no longer work. Tears fell heavily from his eyes. Just after they thought they finally had found him, he was leaving them again and Bones could not do anything to help him.
The crew approached their fallen friend slowly. Jim barely slit his eyes open. Surrounding him was the best crew he ever had under him, his friends. Bones, Uhura, Scotty, Chekov, Riley, Carol, Sulu and Spock. Even Spock Prime was here.
He had succeeded in removing himself as burden from their lives. Calculating the trajectory of the bolt of energy fired from the weapon, he ensured his own death as long as the energy bolt hit his vital organ. Using the same method back in Terra, he took a bullet for his father, the difference was he chose to live back then. Jim of Terra had wanted to live badly whereas Jim of the Earth was tired of life. The truth was Jim was scared. Fate had never been kind to him.
Spock held one of Jim's hands. His hand felt cold to Spock. Jim tried to force a weak smile at his former First Officer, no words formed from his mouth even though he tried to speak as blood continued to spill. He was choking on his own blood. All he could do was to give them his best wishes silently as he lay dying.
"Even if it was a short time, I'm glad to be part of your crew, Spock. You have done a great job in keeping them together. Please continue to do so. And your moves in chess is becoming illogical just like the way I play."
"Bones, don't cry. I never blamed you for not able to patch me up. You are really the best doctor and the only one I trusted my health to. It's just that I'm just better in hurting myself than you are in healing me. Carol is a good woman, I'm glad that you had found her. I'd take her away from you if you ever bullied her. I'm just kidding. I wish both of you happiness".
"Kev, I wish I can tell you in person that I'm sorry. I don't deserve your forgiveness. Stay strong for all of us. After all, you are the only one who remained standing after the rest the Tarsus Nine had fallen. It should remain that way."
"Scotty, I want to tell you. You are the best despite what others think about you! Thanks for keeping the ship in good shape for the five-year mission. I hope you will find the best sandwich in the universe."
"Chekov, be confident in yourself. Never ever see yourself as a kid. You are much more competent than you think you are. You don't mess up. Things are just out of your control. You are better than any one of us."
"Sulu, thanks for supporting Spock. I'm counting on you as the First Officer to keep everyone in order like Spock always did for me."
"Carol, even though we haven't known each other for long. I always knew you were a pretty and sexy girl. More importantly, you are really a nice girl for being able to put up with Bones and his erratic behaviour. Perhaps, in my next life, I'll make you my wife. I'm just joking. Bones is my best friend. Please take care of him. Don't ever leave him. He can't take it".
"Nyota, damn, I have always wanted to call you by your first name. Now I no longer have this chance to do so. The very first time I saw you kiss Spock, I was really surprised that you managed to have him wrapped around your fingers. He is a Vulcan who can choose not to feel, for goodness sake. As expected from someone who is an expert in xenolinguistics. You have the power to communicate and connect despite the difference between human, Vulcan and other species in the universe. All that I ask is you will continue to keep him balanced in both his Vulcan and human side of life."
"Ambassador Spock, you said that universe-ending paradoxes would ensue if Spock learnt of your existence. I see two Spocks in the same room now but the universe has yet to end. Did you lie to me? Looks like the other me had a great influence in you. I'm sorry for not being able to do the same to the other you and realise the friendship you had with your Jim. This time I'm really done."
"Farewell, everyone. Please take care of one another."
He raised his other free hand weakly trying to form a Vulcan salute. A teardrop trickled down Jim's pale cheek as he finally closed his eyes, his head lolled to one side and his hand fell limply to the ground. At the very end of his life, he was really glad to have all of them by his side.
This time round, he hoped that he could truly be free.