Once In A

Blue Moon

Part I- Twilight

Last Time on Blue Moon: The Cullens arrive at the ballet studio.

Disclaimer: I dont own the Twilight saga or its affiliated characters. If I did, well, I wouldn't need to alter it would I?

Chapter Summary: Bella wakes up in the hospital. Bella talks with Renee. Edward and Bella argue over immortality.

24. An Impasse

I knew I was dreaming the moment I saw her. A perfect little angel, her brown eyes were round and she had a smile wide on her doll like lips. Her alabaster skin shined in the light from the sun that shone down on her and her copper curls seemed to sparkle. I knew her, like a distant memory, but I couldn't see her in my mind except for the beatific image before me. She was a perfect child, just sitting in Edward's Meadow. She was no older than a year, with wild flowers in her hand, just smiling at me and waving.

I waved back, unsure of how to respond, but she stood on her small legs when I did, then ran towards me.

"Mama!" She called, her voice childlike and filled with joy.

I picked her up in my arms and held her small frame against me.

"Mama! I thought you forgot me!" She said, her voice like wind chimes.

"No, never," I said, holding her close, trying to remember my daughter. Did I have a daughter? No – Edward couldn't have children and neither could I after the change – but I knew and loved this little girl.

"Where's daddy?" She asked, looking around Meadow. " And where's my Jacob?"

Her Jacob? Jacob was hers? My daughter? My – "Renesmee." I whispered. She giggled.

"Silly Mama!"

I held her closer but then I felt only air. The Meadow had darkened and I saw only trees, no longer in the Meadow, no longer with Renesmee. "Renesmee!" I cried out, but there was no answer. Through the trees I could see my house, but the rest was darkness.

"Bella?" Edward's voice called. I turned and saw him before me. His face was stone, free from all emotion. "We're leaving Forks."

"What?" I asked, feeling numb from the cold sound in his voice."Why?"

"Carlisle is supposed to be 10 years older than he looks. People are starting to notice." He said in the same flat tone.

"Okay... I'll have to think of something to tell Charlie." I looked at him, looking for any help, but there was nothing in his eyes. Just – emptiness. " When you say 'we'?"

"I mean my family and myself." He clarified. I felt my heart stop." I tried, Bella, but I'm not human and I can't love you." He out a burst of cold laughter that cut through me. " You'll move on to human boys like Mike Newton or Jac –"

"I don't want Mike Newton." I interrupted." I never have." I couldn't meet his eyes.

"Your memories will fade in time. Someday you won't even remember my name."

''What about your memories?'' I asked.

'' My kind is easily distracted. But I will ask one favor?''

''Sure.'' My tone was now as dead as his.

''Don't do anything stupid or reckless. For Charlie's sake.'' He asked.

"Of course."

"Goodbye." He whispered, leaning forward to kiss my four head. "Goodbye, Annabelle." I jumped at the sound of the foreign name. It wasn't my name. I was going to ask why he used it but he was already gone.

So were the woods.

I stood on a cliff overlooking First Beach. The waves crashed dangerously on into the hillside and onto the beach. I remembered my promise – I remember the little girl. Then, I remembered Annabelle. The nightmare of a person that I had once been. A person I never wanted to be or remember again. As the waves crashed, I decided to say my goodbye. " Goodbye – Annabelle." And I jumped.

I hit the water hard. Harder than I thought I could in a dream. It hurt. I could feel the water fill my lungs and I couldn't stop myself from being consumed by the dark waves. But it soon brightened. By a thin ray of blue light and I swam towards it. As I did, the beam grew wider until the water was gone and all that was left was the light. Inside was a familiar girl, her skin just as pale, her nose slightly crooked, her hair lighter, wearing expensive clothing.

I looked at my basic blue T-shirt and jeans compared to her high-fashion chiffon top and silk skirt. I was under-dressed.

"Isabella?" She asked, looking at me with wide brown eyes.

"Annabelle?" I asked with recognition." This isn't a dream? Is it?"

She shook her head."I don't think so," she replied."Were you dreaming?"

"Yes. But I don't remember falling asleep."

"Could you be in the hospital? I am."

I tried to concentrate. I could see James, the ballet studio – my hand, Edward..." Yes. I think so. In Phoenix. Why are you –?"

''I tripped on the stairs at school. Fell through a window, broke my leg. You?"

"I was attacked. Nearly killed by –"

''James?" She finished." I read that part in the book."

I nodded." Why are we here?" I asked." Why aren't we just living our lives?"

She sighed." I think that this is our chance to switch back, if we wanted. Our only chance." She said. Her eyes were sad.

''Do you want to switch?" I asked. I silently pleaded for her to answer for her answers be no.

"No! I like it here. Besides, grandfather wants me to move back to New York. No more public school, no more sun, no more fake losers!" She exclaimed happily, in a very out of character way. She was definitely Annabelle now.

"Me either. I have a family now and friends. And Edward." I said quietly." I want to be Isabella Marie Swan."

"I want to be Annabelle Elizabeth Swanson." She said. The light faded around us. Annabelle disappeared as the waves returned. I swell up for air, hearing a faint sound like...

Beep. Beep. Beep.

And I open my eyes.

He was there. Lying it my arm, his breath was even as if he was sleeping, but we both knew he wasn't. I looked around the room, I was definitely in the hospital. I had been in a room like this before, months ago before Forks when I lived in Phoenix. The circumstances were fuzzy, but that could be because of the drugs. All I knew was that Edward was pretending to sleep and my mother was cross the room sitting on a couch watching us. I could feel pain in my legs and breathing was difficult. But I didn't want to alarm them, after what I gone through I'd be in pain for a very long time.

Renée looked up and smiled, her worried expression replaced by pure joy as she saw my eyes open. "You're awake!" She exclaimed excitedly.

"Mom?" I asked." Aren't you supposed to be in Jacksonville?"

Renée walked over and sat beside me on the bed. "I flew back as soon as I got your message. I was so worried about you and when I arrived, Dr. Cullen called and told me you were hospital."

''How long have I been out?" I asked. I looked at Edward, he moved slightly as his hand slowly inched towards mine, completely unnoticed by Renée. The moment I felt his long, cool fingers wrap around mine, I felt reassured that I hadn't been out long.

"Only about a day. You had me real worried, but I'm so happy you're okay. The doctor said you will heal fine. You just take it easy for a few days. Oh! I found us a house Jacksonville. It's fantastic, big and you have your own bathroom. The schools are great. You'll just love it. I know it!"

I took a deep breath and felt Edward do the same. I shook my head and said," Mom, I'm not leaving Forks. I want to live in Forks."

Renée sighed,"We can talk about it later." And she patted my leg. I tried and failed not to wince in pain. "Should I get the doctor?" She asked, her voice filled with concern.

"No. I'm fine. But, could you go get Charlie for me? I said some things at home and I really need to apologize..." I let my voice trail off, my mind remembering that terrible night and how badly I hurt my father. The only father that ever cared for me.

"Of course, sweetheart, I'll be back in a little while."

Edward waited until she'd left the room to 'reawaken'. When he looked at me, I couldn't help but feel like hiding under my thin, hospital covers. I didn't want to see the look on his face. The disappointment. The anger.

It didn't come. All that was there was acute sadness, even pain, but compassion also.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I know it was a stupid, reckless plan but it was the only way to ensure that everything would work. I didn't want to have to run from him all our lives and he said he had Renée! I couldn't let her die because of me, or any of you and I thought that the plan would work without the bloodshed and honestly, it should have, but I don't know what went wro– " My rant was instantly silenced by his lips crashing onto mine...gently. He kissed me almost hungrily, drowning my fear and pain with his overwhelming love and understanding. Of course, he could have just been trying to shut me up...if so, I'd have to remember that for later.

When he pulled up, I had to gasp for air, but I didn't complain. I ached for his cold, stone lips to return and even let out a sound of protest when he sat back down in his chair.

"Jasper and Alice explained everything to me, Bella." He began. "I know why you did it, but it doesn't mean we couldn't have come up with a better plan once the plane landed."
"You wouldn't have agreed to anything that included me going to the studio." I told him. "I had to go, it was the only way he was going to let Renée go."

"But, he didn't have her. She was safely tucked away in Jacksonville." He interjected.

"I didn't know that! For all I knew she could have already been dead!"

He put a hand on my forehead and leaned forward to kiss me again. "I know, love. I know."

I took in a breath, not wanting to fight with him while I was in a hospital bed. We'd been really good about not fighting lately...or I had been really good about not picking a fight...and I didn't want to ruin that now.

"Did you watch the video?" I asked, quietly, looking into his golden eyes, concentrating hard on just being happy I was here with him, once more.

He nodded, even smirked. "I was afraid you'd lost that vivaciousness when your memories began to slip." I gave him a confused look. "Your attitude in the studio, towards James. It was a spark of the old Bella. I didn't want you to lose part of what makes you special."

"My big mouth makes me special? If I hadn't provoked him so much, I probably wouldn't need as many pain killers as they've got me on." I grumbled.

"Why do you insist on punishing yourself?" He let out an exasperated sigh. "Can't you just be thankful that you're alive? I am."

"Alright, alright. I'll let it go." I saw something flicker in his eyes. Something change. "What is it? Whats wrong?"

He gave me a serious look. "Your mother wants you to go to Florida." He said.

"I know, but I'm not going. You don't have to worry about me leaving Forks. I like it there." I gave him a smile, meant to be reassuring, but he didn't change his serious demeanor.

"I want you to go to Florida." He stated clearly. I couldn't suppress the gasp of horror that came out of my mouth. "I think it would be safer for you."

"What about Florida could possibly be safe for me? I wouldn't be anywhere near you! The ocean and me do not get along and more people are killed in Florida in an hour than in ten years in Forks! Why would you want me to leave?" I yelled.

He tried to pacify me again, kissing my forehead and then my lips but I couldn't believe he had just said what he did.

"No, I'm not leaving. And you aren't either. You can't. Not after everything..."

"Shh, love. I'm sorry, it was just an idea. I almost lost you and that never would have happened if I hadn't been so careless."

"No! It was my fault, Edward. Mine! If I had remembered, if I had concentrated more on what was going on around me, I would have known that going to play baseball was a bad idea! I could have warned you all about them! I knew that they were coming, but I couldn't remember anything. Its my fault, it had nothing to do with you." I told him honestly.

"No, you can't blame this on what happened before. You can't control the memories, any more than I can. That's the universe or God or whatever controlling things."

"Don't leave me." I said, not able to bear the idea of him leaving or hating himself.

"I won't."

A nurse came in and check my vitals. She asked if I wanted more pain meds, and I said no. She left and Edward and I were left alone again in silence. The pain was almost unbearable now, but I didn't want to stop talking to him, though it seemed neither of us could think of what to say. I thought back on those last few moments in the ballet studio, when Edward sucked the venom out of my hand.

"You...you were able to stop." I said, looking at him. He glanced up at my face curiously. "You were able to stop once the venom was out. How?"

"I love you." He said like that was all the explanation I needed. I gave him a pointed look. "I mean, I love you more than I crave your blood."

"I thought it was the most potent scent..."

"It is." He answered. "And drinking it, even around the venom, it was almost like being in heaven."

"Almost?"

He smiled, this time almost sheepishly. "I consider heaven to be when we are together, in your room, holding each other. It was almost heavenly, but I wouldn't trade you for it, never." I couldn't help it, I blushed. His hand reached to my cheeks, "I love it when you do that."

I smiled back at him, but I knew this sweet, romantic moment was going to end. I was about to ruin it with my next question. "Why did you do it? I thought we'd agreed that I would be changed." And just like that, the romance was dead.

His hand fell to his side and he gave me a look almost of contempt. "I thought we'd agreed that you would have some human experiences first, before we discussed destroying your soul." He reminded me. That made me blush harder, considering I was hoping he had forgotten that night on the way home from Port Angeles. I almost had. "You said you wanted prom, marriage, honeymoon, all that. Well, we haven't had any of those things."

"So you stopped it just because I haven't put on some ugly pink frilly dress?" I asked, giving him a 'are you nuts?' look.

"No, but I thought you wanted those things." He said, his voice seemed confused, but I could hear the desperation behind it. Just like that I realized he was stalling. He didn't want me to become like him. After that night, I had assumed that one day he wouldn't fight me on it. Now, I realized that he had agreed so readily, because he was planning on trying to talk me out of it and my stipulations gave him time to think of more 'experiences' I could possibly have. Then I remembered why I had the other two stipulations – marriage and honeymoon – after I had a proper honeymoon, he would have no other choice but to change me. Having Renesmee would kill me if he didn't.

"I do...well, not Prom, so much. And marriage is a frightening concept, but yeah, I want them."

"Then you know why I didn't let it spread. I don't want to take away those human experiences for you."

"I know, Edward. I know. But eventually, you're going to have to change me. And if you don't, I know some others that will."

"You really want to pull that?" He glared. "Why are you so determined to end your life?"

"I don't look at it like an ending. I look at it like a beginning! The beginning of forever with you and our family. I don't want to be without you, or them, I don't want to grow old and die, knowing that I could have been with you forever. I know you have issues with it, but they aren't mine!" Just as I said that a wave of pain hit that was almost as painful as the venom.

"Bella!" Edward stood and held me in concern. "Are you okay?" He asked.

"I'm – fine." I gasped out.

He called the nurse in, asking to administer the meds and I didn't complain. The conversation was far from over, but I couldn't bear this pain...or his. She came in and plunged the need into the IV. It didn't take long for the effects to take, but I fought against the stupor.

"I love you." I whispered.

"I love you, m'agneau." He whispered in my ear. I smiled softly as the haze overtook me. M'agneau, my lamb.

Attention: I know, I know! Its been so long since I updated and this chapter really should've been longer. I didn't mean for it to take so long, but the first year of College was freaking evil! and then I got a massive case of writers block and I tried to get this chapter written so many times! Grr. Anyway, here it is. I'll get the last chapter up sometime in the next few days. I've got the Prologue and half of Chapter One of part two written already, so once the Epilogue is published, you won't have to wait too long for it.

Thanks everyone! And again I am sorry for the lateness!

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