Chapter twenty five:
"He…was a casualty," said Thomas as he began to cry. "He wouldn't listen. I killed him." He looked at her and waved the gun in her direction making Brass nervous.
"I would kill him again if it meant I would get you home again but then Brass screwed things up," he sneered at Brass.
"Sorry," Brass said quietly. "What can I say I'm a likable guy?"
Thomas pointed the gun back at Brass.
Sara quickly walked toward Thomas. "Thomas, please don't hurt him."
"It sucks to get old. I intended to kill him and Grissom. I missed both."
"Not by much," said Brass.
Sara stared at Brass and silently pleaded through her tear stained face for him to stop antagonizing Thomas.
"I'm coming home," she said.
"No, you're not. You told me yourself on the phone today."
"I changed my mind."
"You keep doing that," he said as he stared at his shaking hand. Sara leaned up against the couch concealing her purse. She fumbled through it when her fingers touched cold hard steel.
Grissom had put a revolver in it weeks ago. She had forgotten about it until that moment. She slipped it out and cocked it slowly. Thomas stared at her.
"You should have come home," he said.
"Thomas, please put the gun down," she begged as she pointed the gun at him. His eyes grew wide.
"Like I said, you were always full of surprises," he said as he turned his gun toward her.
"You want me. Not her," said Brass.
"Put the gun down," said Sara.
"The question is who can fire first," said Thomas.
"Don't make me shoot you," she said as she gulped back tears.
"I'm already dead Sara. I've been dead," he said. "I just wanted you to come home. I didn't want to be alone anymore."
"You're not alone," she said. "Put the gun down…please Thomas. I don't want to lose you too."
His eyes misted. "You really did care didn't you?"
"Please…" she begged.
"I can't do that," he said as he cocked the gun sending Brass to his feet but then there was the sound of guns firing. Thomas fell to the ground and Brass kicked the gun away from his hand as he whirled around. His heart caught in his throat when he saw her standing there still holding the gun. He was there immediately.
"Sara, you okay?" he asked quickly.
"I thought he would put the gun down…he didn't," she said.
She felt strange as she stood there staring down at his body.
"I uhm killed him," she said. "I killed Thomas."
She looked in horror at the body and then back at Brass.
"I killed him…I loved him like a father and I killed him. Oh God Jim…what have I done?"
"You defended yourself," he said trying to pull the gun from her hand but her hand grasped the handle firmly.
"Sara, you need to give me the gun," he said.
"I don't understand. He killed all of those people," she whispered. She held back a sob but another slipped out. "He killed Ben. He killed Ben because of me…because I didn't go home. Ben is dead because of me. Thomas and Ben are both dead…because of me," she said as she visibly shook.
"This is not your fault. Thomas did this…not you. Give me the gun, honey," he said softly.
She let him take it from her hand.
He looked down and then horror filled his face as he grabbed her side. Her eyes followed his and noticed his hand was now red. She thought it was strange how the blood seemed to ooze out of her and yet she did not feel anything.
"I need to check this," he said. He pulled up her blouse and saw a deep gash but he did not think the bullet had entered her.
"I'm going to sit you down over here on the couch," he said as he began to lead her there. Her feet shuffled not wanting to move from the spot.
He quickly opened his phone and dialed 911 reporting the incident while he hurried into the kitchen and grabbed a clean towel. He returned and held it against her side.
"I know this might sting but I need to stop the bleeding," he said.
She said nothing as she stared at Thomas. His eyes were open and they were fixed on her. She returned the stare. She watched as Thomas's blood seeped onto the floor. She seemed fascinated with how quickly it pooled and thickened. Her eyes continued to stare at the lifeless body while Brass tried to stop the bleeding. She felt her stomach revolt and she grabbed Jim's arm.
"I think I'm going to be sick," she said.
"Look at me…not him," he said. He tried to block her view of the body. The blood trail increased. He checked her wound and then glanced at her.
"Sara, I want you to look at me," he said. "The bleeding hasn't slowed. Are there any contractions?"
She shook her head.
"How do you feel?" he asked.
"I uhm don't feel anything," she said calmly.
The sounds of ambulance and police cars descended on the house. Brass had already opened the door. He seemed relieved when Grissom ran through the door.
"How is she?" he asked quickly as he glanced once at the body on the floor and then knelt in front of Sara. His hand replaced Brass's as he kept the towel firmly pressed against the wound.
"It's deep…it won't stop bleeding," said Brass as he headed toward the door in search of the paramedics. They arrived soon and Brass led them inside.
The paramedics removed the towel and examined the wound. "It's deep but it looks as if the bullet didn't enter…miss…we're going to move you to the ambulance."
The paramedics assisted her as she stood under their guidance.
"Just lie down on the…she's passing out," one warned.
She was quickly placed on the gurney as they checked her vitals.
"Blood pressure is through the roof…is she on any medication for it?"
"They were monitoring her for it…it's been high for about a week or two," said Grissom.
"We're leaving now," yelled the Medic.
He jumped into the ambulance as they headed to the hospital. She was conscious again and she felt his hand in hers. Thomas's words played again and again in her head. He had killed so many in the name of love. Her thoughts then turned to Ben. Ben had found out but had tried to save Thomas only to lose his life.
Sweet sweet Ben…
Always thinking of others…
Always wanted me to be happy…
Always told me he loved me…
He did…
Now he's gone…
She closed her eyes from the stares of the others. She did not wish to be on display now. She wanted nothing more than to fall apart. It was long overdue. She had lost the only man who could have replaced Grissom by the man she loved like a father. The same feelings of abandonment and loneliness she had felt that day her mother had killed her father came swirling back.
I should have trusted Ben…
I trusted Thomas instead…
Thomas hurt me just like Grissom…
Ben just wanted to love me…
I loved him…
But not like Grissom…
Just wanted to feel safe and loved…
Never going to feel that…
A tear slipped down her cheek and it was quickly wiped away. Her eyes remained shut. She did not wish to see the person who sat trying to comfort her. She felt herself drifting and then voices as she slipped into unconsciousness. Grissom cursed when he was forced to leave her side.
He paced the hospital hallway waiting for news.
A nurse came out.
"Mr. Grissom?"
"Yes."
"Ms. Sidle is doing fine. The physician wants to keep her overnight just for precautionary measures."
He sighed in relief.
"Can I see her?" he asked.
The nurse brought him to the room. She was sleeping so he slipped into the chair quietly. Within minutes she was awake.
"How do you feel?" he asked.
"I want to leave," she said.
"Just one night…just to make sure everything is okay. Your blood pressure gave us quite a scare," he said.
"I don't want to stay," she said.
He didn't know what to say.
"Grissom…please," she said.
"Sara, it's just a night…a few hours…I'll stay with you," he offered.
She closed her eyes in defeat.
She felt him take her hand.
She said nothing but kept her eyes closed.
"You want to talk about it?" he asked.
She shook her head.
"Brass told me you wanted to stay…I'm glad," he said. "I'm sorry about…"
"He uhm killed Ben. I let Ben die thinking I didn't trust him."
"Sara…"
"I don't want to talk about this," she said rolling away from him.
He sat there with her.
She tried to sleep but couldn't.
The nurse came in and checked her vitals.
"Can't sleep?" the woman asked.
"I've been sleeping," she lied.
The nurse glanced at Grissom.
"How is the pain?" she asked.
"The pain?"
"The wound…how is the pain?"
"It's fine," she whispered.
"Would you like to talk with someone….we have a counselor on duty….he could come and speak with you," the nurse offered.
"No."
"Ms. Sidle…"
"I want to leave," she said.
"In the morning," replied the nurse.
"Now."
"The physician is not going to release you until morning."
She pulled the covers off and slipped her feet over the side of the bed. "I'm leaving now."
"You can't do that," said the nurse.
"Yes, I can. I can sleep…"
She had wanted to say she could sleep at home. She was not ready to call the townhouse her home.
"I'll call the physician on duty and he can talk with you," offered the nurse.
"Good cause I'm leaving."
Grissom waited until the nurse left.
"You're not leaving," he said.
"Yes…I am."
"Sara, you're not thinking straight. If you were, you would stay. You don't want to place the baby as risk."
She stared at him.
He was right.
She just wanted to fall apart somewhere other than the hospital.
He pulled the covers back and gently lifted her legs. He covered her as she lay on her side. A single tear dropped.
"Tomorrow morning," he said.
She nodded as she closed her eyes.
"I could hold you," he offered.
She did not accept but then he did not care as he pulled her into his arms. His hand stroked her hair over and over. The nurse returned but he motioned for her to leave. She slipped back out. He eased her back into the bed but continued to stroke her hair as her eyes remained shut. Soon, she was asleep.
Note from author:
So much drama but its ending. Speaking of ending, I finally wrote the ending to this! Hooray! Everyone take a deep breath and repeat after me, there will be a happy ending…
Leave a review!
Take care,
Penny