A/N: There are a lot of people who take the time to read this story, but not a lot that take the time to review it… so if you read the story, please review.. It'll make me crank the chapters out that much quicker!!

Review review please and thank you!!!

Tell me what you think.

ALSO!! Read my new story Rising Sun… its about Renesmee.. Check it out.. First and second chapter is up.. Tell me if I should continue..

Chapter 25: all I need

I stood looking at the shattered pieces of the piano. My breathing was ragged and shallow. I had to control myself. There would be a way around this. I understood that Carlisle was doing what he thought was right, but it didn't have to be now. Wait a few years. The Volturi would not come soon. They would not be here tomorrow there was no need to rush this.

I started to calm myself, and then I heard Bella's voice from the other room.

"Well, Alice, where did you want to do this?" Absolutely not! What was she thinking!

"No! No! NO!" I roared as I re-entered the dining room. I moved directly in front of Bella. Staring down into her beautiful face, rage and tension filled my being completely. "Are you insane?" I shouted louder than I had meant too, but perhaps she would hear me better. "Have you utterly lost your mind?" Bella cringed away from me, trying to block the shouting from reaching her ears.

Alice was repentant for her role in this catastrophe. She was sorry. She just tried to get her through the plane ride, she also knew Bella wouldn't really want anyone to do it but me. The reality was they never would have been on the plane if it weren't for me. My actions again, had more severe consequences than I had ever imagined.

"Um, Bella," Alice's voice was tiny and anxious. "I don't think I am ready for that. I'll need to prepare."

"You promised," Bella said accusingly, trying to peak around me at Alice.

"I know, but. Seriously, Bella! I don't have any idea how not to kill you." again she apologized. It didn't help.

""You can do it," Bella cheered Alice on so she would take her soul. I couldn't believe what was happening. "I trust you." A primitive, furious snarl escaped me. This wasn't happening. Not only had they voted against me now they were deciding on whether to change her right here and now. This was insane literally insane.

Once Bella realized she wasn't going to get what she wanted from Alice she changed gears.

"Carlisle?" NO! How could she want this so badly? Before Bella could look at Carlisle I grabbed her face gently in one hand and forced her to look at me. I wanted her to see me for everything that I was. I wanted her to know how much I loved her even though I was a monster. I quickly outstretched my other hand at Carlisle, shoving my palm in his face. I was being an insolent child but I couldn't let him do it. Not now. What were they all thinking. Had they totally lost there minds while I was gone? It was like I was in some stupid sci fi movie. Invasion of the body snatchers. These could not be my family. My family would never have went against my wishes. Even thought I knew that wasn't true. I still could not accept the fact that they had.

"Edward, she has to be changed. You know that I can do it. I think that both you and Bella would prefer if you did. It would mean more and I know you are capable of doing it without killing her and you know it too. You think you are stealing her soul but we both know you can't live without her and in order for that to happen she has to be changed." I tried to ignore the things Carlsile was saying. Part of me agreed with all of it. The selfish part of me did want her all to myself and could change her. The other part, the part that Bella had awakened in me couldn't bear to think of taking anything from her, especially her soul. I was conflicted, not that I would actually admit that to any of them.

Carlisle ignored my hand in his face, "I'm able to do it. You would be in no danger of me losing control." He was pushing me into making a decision I wasn't ready to make. To have Carlisle oppose me so openly, on such an important issue hurt me. I knew why he was doing this. He knew deep down that this was what I wanted but I would never take it for myself. I couldn't justify stealing Bella's soul to fill my own needs and wants. It wasn't fair to have her give up so much, just to be with me.

"Sounds good," Bella tried to speak but my hand held her face awkwardly making her words sound funny. My jaw clenched and I exhaled slowly through my nose. I could feel defeat and I didn't like it. It wasn't supposed to be this way. They were my family, mine! They were supposed to be on my side!

"Hold on," I spoke through clenched teeth. "It doesn't have to be now."

"There's no reason for it not to be now," Bella responded angrily.

"I can think of a few." I replied nonchalantly.

"Of course you can," Bella replied sourly. "Now let go of me." I released Bella's face from my grasp and folded my arms across my chest. I had to make her see that it didn't have to happen right now. The possibility of being changed was still on the table just not right now. I had to have time to think.

"In about two hours, Charlie will be here looking for you. I wouldn't put it past him to involve the police." Charlie would kill me, or at least try to, if woke he up and Bella wasn't in her room.

"All three of them," Bella replied sarcastically but she seemed to weaken in her stance.

"In the interest of remaining inconspicuous," I spoke through gritted teeth, trying desperately to control my anger, while speaking to Carlisle, "I suggest that we put this conversation off, at the very least until Bella finishes high school, and moves out of Charlie's house." it would by me some time atleast to try to talk her out of it. I knew it would never happen, but maybe I could reason with these possessed people who were my family. I still couldn't believe they were. They had went against me. Betrayed me. My onw family. It was just to much to believe. Unbelievable how easy they had done it too.

You are trying to postpone the inevitable. I'll give you until graduation to come to terms with this. Carlisle wasn't giving in on this topic.

"That is a reasonable request, Bella." Carlisle was finally agreeing with me on something. I had a few months to make her see there was a way around this; she didn't have to be changed. If I were being realistic though, it was just time for me to come to terms with Bella being a vampire. Plans were set in motion now that I had no say in. Bella looked frustrated at this suggestion and pursed her lips in contemplation.

"I'll consider it."

My whole body relaxed with the knowledge that I had time. I had time with Bella and time to figure out what to do about changing her.

You want this, Carlisle's words from earlier echoed in my head. The part of me that did want this was starting to over rule the part that didn't. I knew that I could change Bella. Carlisle had given me a choice then, leave the venom to change her or test my will drinking from her to remove the venom. I knew from the moment that I sucked the venom out that I was capable. The only choice Carlisle was giving me now was if I would do it or if he would. There was no choice whether or not for her to stay human. Now the only choice left was who would do it. I didn't like that at all.

"I should probably take you home," I was worried we had been gone to long. "Just in case Charlie gets up early."

Bella looked at Carlisle, "After graduation?"

"You have my word." Carlisle reminded me that I still had the choice to do it myself. That I should talk to Bella and find out what she wants. I didn't want to know what else she wants. Why must she be so difficult why must she want the one thing that I didn't want to give her. Why couldn't she be normal and want a car, or a house, or a pony! Anything but that.

Bella was pleased with Carlisle's response. She turned to me, her face beaming, "Okay. You can take me home now."

I walked Bella out of the house, taking the back way. I didn't want her to see the piano. That my anger had gotten the best of me and the poor piano had to pay the price.

I thought bout what Carlisle had said. I could do it myself, but part of me was still very afraid. What If I couldn't resist? What if I killed her? What if after she was changed she hated me for it? I didn't want her to regret it. We ran in silence to her house. Both of us had a lot on our minds. Bella was pleased by the outcome, I still could not believe it.

The whole time I was thinking about a way to postpone the inevitable. There had to be something that would make her want to wait. I thought about what I wanted. Before she was changed there was one thing I absolutely wanted us to do. I wasn't sure how Bella would respond. I thought some more about it and before I knew it we were at Bella's house. I quickly ran up the wall and gently deposited Bella on her bed. I paced the room contemplating my current thoughts. It could work, she might agree. I could feel Bella watching me suspiciously.

"Whatever you're planning, it's not going to work."

"Shh. I'm thinking." I continued to plan how to address this very delicate topic. I wanted this more than anything while she was human. It was important, to me, that she have as many human experiences as possible. I knew we didn't have much time now. And I didn't want her to miss anything.

"Ugh," Bella wasn't pleased with me. She lay back on her bed and covered her face. I could not stand for that. I needed to see her. I slid into bed next and pulled the quilt away from her.

"If you don't mind, I'd much rather you didn't hide your face. I've lived without it for as long as I can stand. Now, tell me something."

"What?" Bella asked with skepticism in her voice. She knew me well enough to know I was planning something.

"If you could have anything in the world, anything at all, what would it be?" I didn't know what to expect for an answer, but I could hope.

Bella looked at me doubtfully, "You."

I smiled inwardly, but shook my head at her, "something you don't already have." Bella paused contemplating her next words. I waited patiently for her response.

"I would want." she paused struggling to tell me what I already knew, "Carlisle not to have to do it. I would want you to change me." I thought about this. I could use this to buy some time. And to get what I wanted as well. Bella was what I wanted most and I wanted her to have ever human experience possible before she was changed.

She wanted me to change her, just like Carlisle had suspected. I could do it, I knew I could. Now that I knew what she wanted, I thought about what I wanted.

It was simple, I wanted Bella to be my wife, I wanted her to be mine in every way possible. The right way. Never before in my existence had I felt so strongly for anyone. I didn't always consciously know I had feelings for Bella, but from the beginning I had always wanted to protect her. That single instinct had grown into a love that was unparalleled. Bella looked surprised at my reaction. She had probably expected the same angry reaction I always had when talking about her soul. Things were different now, the choice was not my own. I was going to make the best of this situation no matter what. I looked deeply into her eyes calculating my next move.

"What would you be willing to trade for that?" As hard as it was, I stayed composed waiting patiently for her answer.

"Anything." The word was out of her mouth before she had even thought about what I was asking. A faint smile crossed my lips. She had inadvertently given me the upper hand, not that it would help much. Bella was stubborn, and she wanted this existence more than anything.

"Five years?" I knew she would never agree but when bargaining you always have to start higher than what you would settle for. Her face twisted in horrific shock. The age thing, it always went back to that. Even though I couldn't read her mind I knew that look. "You said anything," I reminded her gently.

"Yes, but, you'll use the time to find a way out of it," She said accusingly. "I have to strike while the iron is hot. Besides, it's just too dangerous to be human for me, at least. So, anything but that." I frowned. Danger, it followed her everywhere because of me. I had invited her into a world that wasn't safe. MY world was no place for a human, but I couldn't help myself; she called to me. She was everything I never knew I wanted.

"Three years?" I could try, but I knew she wouldn't buy that either.

"No!"

"Isn't it worth anything to you at all?" I feigned shock at her rejection. I watched her closely.

"Six months?" I rolled my eyes at her poor attempt. That time frame didn't put her much past graduation. I wanted her to experience so much more as a human.

"Not good enough."

She bit her bottom lip making her next decision carefully. "One year, then. That's my limit." She had given more than I ever thought she would. She really did want me to change her more than anything else. If I had a heart it would have leapt at the thought. But I had to try and push for more.

"At least give me two years."

"No way. Nineteen I'll do. But I'm not going anywhere near twenty. If you're staying in your teens forever, then so am I," she said indignantly. A new thought had crossed my mind. There were things that I wanted more than Bella remaining human. I feared what she might say, that it would be too much, too soon. I was a creature who could not be destroyed by normal means, but without her I would shatter, become a shadow of what I really was. I decided it was worth facing my fear. She was worth everything I had in this existence.

"All right. Forget the time limits. If you want me to be the one then you'll just have to meet one condition." I held my breath watching her delicate features for a response. She looked at me skeptically.

"Condition?" she asked flatly. "What condition?" I felt shaky and weak. Vampires were not supposed to feel that way. I inhaled deeply, steadying myself before I spoke.

"Marry me first." The words came slower than I had intended; nerves were definitely taking hold of my normally infallible façade. What if she didn't want me like that? What if she said no?

She stared at me, somewhat in shock. I waited patiently for her response, my anxiety rising with each tick of her heart beat, which quickened at my proposal.

"Okay. What's the punch line?" I sighed and looked away from her. She really didn't believe me, or she didn't want to believe me.

"You're wounding my ego, Bella. I just proposed to you, and you think it is a joke."

"Edward, please be serious." I stared at her. She really didn't think I was being serious. I was slightly wounded by her response.

"I am one hundred percent serious." I continued to stare at her, thinking about how to recover from what was now sure to happen. Bella would reject me and kick me out; after everything that had happened this was too much.

"Oh, c'mon," Bella sounded slightly hysterical. Her heart raced faster. "I'm only eighteen."

"Well, I'm nearly one hundred and ten. It's time I settled down," I said laughing internally. In all my years no one had captured me the way Bella had. She looked out the window. She was definitely beginning to panic. Her heart raced, so easily giving her away. Did she not want me? Or was it just the marriage thing in general that scared her?

"Look, marriage isn't exactly that high on my list of priorities, you know? It was sort of the kiss of death for Charlie and Renee." She was speaking rapidly, obviously nervous. I found it ironic that she had used the term kiss of death because that is exactly what it would be for her. If she married me I would change her. We could be together forever.

"Interesting choice of words."

"You know what I mean," she replied, frustrated.

I inhaled deeply trying to figure out if Bella was really rejecting me or if she was just scared. It was hard to tell. More than ever I wanted to be able to read her thoughts. She was willing to give her soul up for me but not willing to marry me. It was truly unbelievable. "Please don't tell me you're afraid of the commitment."

"That's not it exactly," Bella inhaled deeply trying to explain. "I'm, afraid of Renee. She has really intense opinions on getting married before your thirty."

"Because she'd rather you became one of the eternal damned than get married." I laughed darkly. Bella never said what I thought she would. Becoming a vampire, she was all for it. Getting married scared her to death.

"You think you're joking."

"Bella, if you compare the level of commitment between a marital union as opposed to bartering your soul in exchange for an eternity as a vampire." I shook my head. It was hard to believe that she was so willing to be with me forever as a vampire but not as my wife. I was a bit confused. "If you're not brave enough to marry me, then." Panic crossed her face.

"Well," she interrupted trying to think of something to regain the edge. "What if I did? What if I told you to take me to Vegas now? Would I be a vampire in three days?"

I smile widely. She was lying, testing me to see if I were serious. "Sure, I'll get my car."

"Dammit." Bella muttered, not expecting me to call her bluff. "I'll give you eighteen months." Marriage must really terrify her if she was willing to give me that much time.

"No deal," I grinned. "I like this condition."

"Fine. I'll have Carlisle do it when I graduate," she said indignantly.

"If that's what you really want." I shrugged indifferently at her attempt to force my hand. I smiled at her.

"You're impossible," she whined, "a monster." I laughed lightly, another interesting choice of words.

"Is that why you won't marry me?" I leaned toward her, taking in every inch of my beautiful Bella. "Please, Bella?" I knew I was dazzling her. It wasn't exactly playing fair, and she knew it. She stepped away from me and shook her head.

"Would this have gone better if I'd had time to get a ring?"

"No! No rings!" Bella nearly shouted the words at me, and Charlie had heard her.

"Now you've done it," I whispered softly. Not that Charlie would ever catch me, but if he even suspected I was here things would be bad for Bella.

"Oops." Bella bit her lower lip.

"Charlie's getting up; I better leave." I sighed heavily. The last thing I wanted to do was leave Bella ever again. Bella's response was more than I could hope for. Her body told me she didn't want me to leave. The expression on her face was fear. "Would it be childish of me to hide in your closet, then?"

"No," Bella shook her head eagerly. "Stay. Please." I smiled at Bella and ducked into the closet. I thought about all that had transpired in the last day. Bella was so determined to be one of us, and I had finally started to resolve myself to the possibility. There was an inner struggle that still gripped me. Her soul was so precious it couldn't possibly be worth giving up for me. I felt torn. I wanted her, forever. But what if Carlisle wasn't right, and there was no afterlife for creatures such as us. Could I do that to Bella?

I could hear Charlie's thoughts as he approached

Charlie thought about the time he had called Renee to help Bella. It was so hard for him, reaching out to Renee. She doubted Charlie's ability to take care of Bella, especially after Phoenix. Bella fought the move, and Charlie knew why: she hoped I would come back. He was grateful in his own way, but worried more than ever that I would return. After Renee left, Bella walked like a ghost through the house daily; she looked lifeless. These memories pained me. I couldn't believe the damage I had done. I meant to give Bella a new chance at life, but all I did was damage her.

The door cracked open.

"Morning dad." Bella responded.

"Oh, he, Bella." he was slightly embarrassed to get caught checking up on her. "I didn't know you were awake." he replied.

"Yeah. I've just been waiting for you to wake up so I could take a shower." I heard Bella say as she started to get up.

"Hold on." He said as I saw light suddenly come through the crack near the floor. "Lets talk for a minute first." Bella was not going to like this.

"You know your in trouble."

"Yeah I know."

"I just about went crazy the last three days. I come home from Harry's funeral, and your gone. Jacob could only tell me that you'd run off with Alice Cullen, and that he thought you were in trouble. You didn't leave me a number, and you didn't call. I didn't know where you were or when, or if, you were coming back. Do you have any idea how, how," He couldn't manage to finish his sentence. He was afraid Bella had run off and left him like Renee. "Can you give me one reason why I shouldn't ship you off to Jacksonville this second?" I could here him trying to fight off his anger.

I knew Bella wasn't going to take kindly to threats, poor Charlie.

"Because I wont go." She said stubbornly.

"No just one minute, young lady."

Bella didn't let him finish. "Look, dad, I accept complete responsibility for my actions, and you have the right to ground me for as long as you want. I will also do all the chores and laundry and dishes until you think I've learned my lesson. And I guess you're within your rights if you want to kick me out, too. But that wont make me go to Florida."

He tried to keep his temper under control. I heard his pulse quicken and his heart beat increase.

"Would you like yo explain where you've been?"

"There was." She paused I could here she was nervous. "An emergency."

Charlie didn't respond.

I heard Bella exhale loudly. "I don't know what tell you, dad. It was mostly a misunderstanding. He said, she said. It got out of hand.

He was confused so he just waited or her to continue.

"See, Alice told Rosalie about me jumping off the cliff." she stopped. Charlie's thoughts were frantic. He had no idea about the cliff diving. "I guess I didn't tell you about that." She choked out. "It was nothing. Just messing around, swimming with Jake. Anyway, Rosalie told Edward, and he was upset. She sort of accidentally made it sound like I was trying to kill myself or something. He wouldn't answer his phone, so Alice dragged me to." she paused. "L.A, to explain in person.

Charlie's thoughts suddenly changed from despair and anger to hope. When I saw why I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. Jacob Black. Charlie held out hope that Jacob would take her from me. He remembered Bella and Jacob holding hands and her smiling for the first time. He had so much hope for them. The flood of memories Charlie had of Bella and Jacob together ripped at my very being. I had left her in the hands of that mongrel. I would not make that mistake twice. Charlie's voice brought me back to the current conversation.

"Were you trying to kill yourself, Bella?" He sounded frustrated and scared of the answer. I still wondered about this myself. Bella had said she was only cliff diving but she was doing it to hear my voice. Something about it didn't seem right.

"No, of course not. Just having fun with Jake." Jake, she said his name so casually. He definitely had a place in her heart; I could tell from her tone. "Cliff diving. The La Push kids do it all the time, like I said, nothing.:

Bella didn't understand the danger the werewolves posed. They were volatile and had no control. I worried more about this new complication than I had before. Jacob was firmly implanted in this family, and I wasn't sure how that would resolve itself. I didn't see us being friends anytime soon. Sworn enemies kind of made things difficult.

"What is it to Edward Cullen anyway?" He barked. "All this time, he's just ;left you dangling without a word.."

"Another misunderstanding." Bella cut him off.

"So is he back?" he knew the answer but he hated the idea of it.

"I'm not sure what the exact plan is, I think they all are."

"I want you to stay away from him. Bella. I don't trust him. He's rotten for you. I wont let him mess you up like that again."

"Fine." my head was spinning, was she agreeing to stay away from me? Did she no longer want me in her life?

"Oh." I heard the shock in his voice. The same shock that had went through me. "I thought you were going to be difficult."

"I am." She responded. I was slightly confused. "I meant, Fine, I'll move out." Oh Bella. So stubborn. I smiled at the realization she was just arguing with Charlie. Trying to push him into a corner so he had no choice but to allow me to see her. And vise versa.

He stood there, I could almost feel the heat coming from him as his anger rose.

"Dad, I don't want to move out." Bella said in a softer more loving tone. "I love you. I know you're worried, but you need to trust me on this. And you're going to have to ease up on Edward if you want me to stay. Do you want me to live here or not?" it was almost like an ultimatum

"That's not fair, Bella. You know I want you to stay."

"Then be nice to Edward, because he's going to be where I am."

"Not under my roof." Charlie yelled.

I heard Bella sigh. "Look, I'm not going to give you any more ultimatums tonight, or I guess it's morning. Just think about it for a few days, okay? But keep in mind that Edward and I are sort of a package deal."

"Bella." Charlie was fuming.

"Think it over." she insisted. "And while you're doing that, could you give me some privacy. I really need a shower." Bella sounded so confident.

Charlie was furious. He thought of many ways to handicap me and even a few ways of how to dispose of my body. It was going to take a long time before Charlie even came close to trusting me again. He left Bella's room stomping down the stairs and cursing me in his mind the whole time.

I came out from the closet and into the rocking chair. Bella threw off her quilt.

"Sorry about that," Bella whispered, slightly embarrassed by Charlie's rage. I understood. He had every right to hate me.

"It's not as if I don't deserve far worse," I mumbled, more aware now of all the damage I had done. "Don't start anything with Charlie over me, please." I didn't want to be the reason for the downfall of their relationship, although that seemed more and more inevitable.

"Don't worry about it," Bella breathed heavily as she gathered her shower things. "I will start exactly as much as necessary, and no more than that." Bella widened her eyes in false alarm. "Or are you trying to tell me I have no where to go?"

"You'd move in with a house full of vampires?" I was slightly shocked at Bella's willingness to move in with me.

"That's probably the safest place for someone like me. Besides, if Charlie kicks me out, then there is no reason for a graduation deadline, is there?"

I clenched my jaw at her words. She was so stubborn on this matter. "So eager for eternal damnation."

"You know you don't really believe that," she said smugly.

"Oh, don't I?" I replied furiously. This topic still didn't sit well with me.

"No, you don't," she sounded sure of this. I was beginning to wonder if she would read minds now. I went to speak, to refute her allegations, but she cut me off.

"If you really believed that you'd lost your soul, then when I found you in Volterra, you would have realized immediately what was happening, instead of thinking we were both dead together. But you didn't you said 'Amazing, Carlisle was right.'" She reminded me of that brief moment when I truly did believe that we were both dead and somehow, even without a soul, I could be with my angel. "There's hope in you after all." I sat there speechless, as she looked at me triumphantly. "So let's both just be hopeful, alright?" Bella suggested softly. Hope it was such a simple word yet it filled my being. "Not that is matters. If you stay, I don't need heaven." She was so beautiful, and she never ceased to amaze me. I rose slowly, even for a human; I stood in front of Bella and place my hands on either side of her face. The warmth of her face penetrated through my skin to my very being. I stared into her rich brown eyes, still slightly shocked by her statement. Bella had grown in the time we were apart, and I wanted nothing more that to be with her. Forever. But I still wanted her to have as many human experiences as possible.

"Forever," I spoke the word softly, the shock still resonating with me.

"That's all I'm asking for," she replied happily, stretching up on her toe to kiss me. This was my heaven. I wouldn't need anything more as long as I had her. The past mistakes faded from my mind replaced with thoughts of a beautiful future.

She stood her tippy toes so she could reach, she gently pressed her lips against mine. That was all I needed.

REVIEW!!! COME ON I KNOW YOU ALL CAN DO IT!! PLEASE AND THANK YOU! TELL ME WATCHA THINK!!

THE MORE YOU REVIEW THE FASTER I COME OUT WITH THE NEXT CHAPTER.