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The Great Lina Inverse In:

How Harry Found out His Past Life Was Female

or

Lina Inverse Rides Again

A.K.A.

FATE SUCKS

Petunia Dursley thought herself a fair sorceress, in most ways. Beautiful, young, powerful, yet also compassionate, protective and slightly ruthless she took care of her family in anyway they needed. Dudders, who was behind in magical studies due to the bigotry of the English was in France, she'd seen to his placement in Beauxbatons. Harry was another story, though, as she couldn't begin to formulate a reply to his problems. 'He shouldn't even have to deal with this yet,' was her prominent thought pattern as she thought of the letter she had received an hour ago. She scowled as she remembered the twin boys passed out on the floor at Molly's house, for to call it Arthur's would be an insult to the running of the household.

'Looks like Molly and I will have things to discuss other than the incompetence of the Ministry of Magic tonight,' she thought as she wrote Molly a short note asking for permission to flash into her house later, as the Ministry of Magic will not allow Sorcerers to access the Floo Network. She flashed the letter to Molly's kitchen, where Molly would usually be found studying household spells and charms to make things easier raising 5 children for at least a year longer, thank goodness Petunia gave her that book. Her reply was back in an hour with Errol, the Weasley family owl. He was an old, beat up owl with feathers falling out with every flap. Petunia was sure that magic was the only reason the animal was still alive.

Dear Petunia,

Of course you can flash in around lunch, we can go to the Leaky Cauldron. I have some things to buy in Diagon Alley and would feel safer with someone accompanying me anyway. And some books to sell to the second hand shop. I swear Gilderoy Lockhart is cute, but a dunce. Not one of his so called 'spells' worked at all, except for PeskiPiski Pesternomi, which simply started the food in the kitchen to making a Pastrami Sandwich.

Rant more later,

Molly Weasley

'Well, at least she wasn't fooled by Lockhart. Wonder what he is doing now? Besides trying to check his appearance in the mirror,' She thought vindictively as she summoned an air spirit.

"Spirit, I want you to go make Gilderoy Lockhart believe he is losing his mind," she told the diminutive servant, "Don't kill him, just move things randomly. No wizard knows Elemental Spirit Summoning any more so this should be fun." With that she went off to take a shower, it wouldn't do to have a stench upon ones self while shopping.

Harry was at breakfast when George caught him, very literally. "ICE WATER! Really Harry?"

"It got rid of your problem, didn't it?" He asked blushing but maintaining eye contact with the red headed prankster, "You could thank me that I didn't flash you into the middle of Diagon Alley."

George looked at Harry with a grin and started laughing, "That would have been bloody hilarious, until dad and mum asked why." George's eyes twinkled with mirth and his lips stretched into a smile. Harry couldn't help the infectious laughter and joined in, giggling at the thought of a nude George trying to prevent himself from being cursed by over zealous witches.

George, realising how close they were in the position he had put them in, blushed and released him, but not in time to avoid, "OH, so Potter's a poofter!" from Draco Malfoy.

"Who cares who I like," Harry said, "I could easily destroy the school, you shouldn't annoy me." Draco blanched and quickly recovered.

"Mother says that Sorcerers are charlatans and can't use actual magic, I bet you can't do anything of the... Why are you chanting?" Draco asked the stupidest question he could before being encased in ice.

"Mr. Potter," Snape started, "could you please release the spell around the imbecile? He obviously doesn't know anything about sorcery."

"Yes professor," Harry replied as the ice disappeared with a flash of flames which charred the food, but surprisingly not the tables. Harry looked closer to see a spell resistant layer surrounding the table.

"Thank you Mr. Potter," Snape said quietly, sneering at his godson for his sheer stupidity. Familiar with a sorcerers powers he knew exactly what not to do to survive around one, including not taking away points for no reason.

At noon Petunia flashed to an alley near the Leaky Cauldron and walking into the dingy pub filled with drunk and disorderly wizards. Petunia waited near the Floo Connection for Molly for two minutes before the slightly pudgy witch, who was slimming down do to her free time practising spells, walked out of the Floo gracefully.

"Molly, I'm so glad I didn't make you wait here," Petunia said smiling, "Already two people have been making eyes at me."

Molly looked Petunia over, "I can't really blame them, dear," was all she said. She purposefully caused the bar to overhear, no one recognising Molly without her apron and extra weight. The two men staring at the black attired woman sighed in defeat thinking 'the good ones are always lesbians.'

Petunia glanced at Molly before saying, "You need new clothes. The reducing charms won't last forever." She smiled at Molly, "I'm taking you on a shopping spree. We sorceresses tend to have the most money anyway as we come from ancient lines and Gringotts wants to keep our business as we live for hundreds of years naturally. That and we can blow them up with a thought."

"But Petunia, I don't want you to go through the trouble for me," Molly stated, pouting at her friend.

"I can also blow up the Burrow and reconstruct it into a castle," Petunia said offhandedly, mentally smirking at her deviousness.

"Yes Petunia," Molly said nervously, "Lets go shopping. Clothes sound wonderful." She smiled weakly thinking of the money it would take to make a castle. "No castle necessary."

"Oh good then, I'll just update the wards on the Burrow before I leave after the trip."

"Yes Petunia."

"I'm glad you finally figured it out. Just nod you're head and let me do what I want. It takes so long to get men to figure it out. Aren't you glad you did early?"

"Yes Petunia."

The women in the Leaky Cauldron started laughing at that, while the men looked fearfully at the sorceress, naturally afraid of any woman with more power then them because it is the Wizarding World. They thought men should have all the power and women should have nothing. One tried to apparate to the Ministry silently before realising he couldn't. Petunia had already placed wards to prevent it and more to prevent the fact she is a sorceress to leave the Leaky Cauldron. She smiled deviously as she felt the apparition attempt.

"Let's go Molly. Time for shopping."

So Petunia is domineering, who could have guessed. She is kinda like Naga, but also kinda herself. She likes status symbols like her robes and her magical items, but she also likes her friends to have the best of the best so she made sure that Molly would lose weight without doing anything but giving her a book with high energy spells in it which cause Molly to burn several hundred extra calories without realising it which cause her to need new clothes. Petunia, being a sorceress, is a billionaire. She, in her past, had raided camps of bandits from several parallel worlds (the fey made several parallel worlds which actually caused many discrepancies which will be described later.) She doesn't really need the money so she just spends it, though she earns enough in interest to remake everything she spends rather quickly.