Come Home

Description: Inspired by the Ashika Sakura story of the same name. A single night's mistake separated them for six years. When chance throws them back together, it will take more than love to heal the wounds and bring them home. Cleon, Soriku, AkuRoku, Zemyx, and Yuffietine.

Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts belongs to Square-Enix. This should be nothing new to anyone.

A/N: Another scene that's been haunting me finally out of my head and fleshed out with words. ... sighs with relief ... Again, I don't think it warrants an M rating, but let me know if you think otherwise.

Enjoy it!

24. Leon

He can hear her footfalls over his head as she steps out of the house and onto the porch. When she calls his name, there is sadness and worry in her tone, but he ignores it, tightening his hold on his legs and making the ball into which he has curled himself smaller. He doesn't want to see her. His life is ruined now, and it's all her fault.

The screen door bangs against the frame a couple of times, and he watches as her feet descend the stairs into the yard. "Squall?" she calls again.

He's about to cry again; he can feel it. Scowling, he buries his face in his knees and squeezes his thighs until they sting.

"Squall? Where are you? Please don't hide from me."

Let her look for him. Let her look and never find him. Let him die here, alone and in the dark. Then let her find him, when he's a lifeless, rotting corpse. Let her cry over him and wail and pull her hair out and bemoan the fact that she is the reason why her little brother is dead and decaying. Let her suffer and regret.

"Oh, there you are. What are you doing underneath the porch?"

His head snaps up at the voice that is only a foot or so away from him. She is there, kneeling in the dirt on the other side of the latticed wood, gazing in at him. He scowls at her and turns his body away. Next time he decides to hide from the world, he will remember not to wear a neon green shirt.

"How did you get under there anyway?" she asks with a smile. "Is there an opening I don't know about? Can I get in there, too, or am I too big to fit?" When she realizes that he intends to continue ignoring her, she slips a few fingers through the patterned holes as if trying to touch him. "Squall, please don't do this. Don't be like this."

He says nothing and sulks. He will do and be whatever the heck he wants. She has betrayed him, violated his trust. He gave her every last ounce of love and devotion his heart could produce, and she has thrown it away with barely a thought.

"It's not like I'll never see you again. I'll be home for Christmas break and then again in the summer. And you can send me letters and call me whenever you want."

More tears threaten, but he snuffles them back up his nose. He will not cry even though she is abandoning him. Even though it hurts so bad inside. The anger helps, almost comforting in its strength and focus. Determinedly, he holds onto it and wraps it around himself to ward off the pain. He will not give her the satisfaction of seeing his tears. He will be strong and resolute until she leaves, and then he will curl up here beneath the porch and die.

"Squall?"

Won't she be sorry then?

Answered by nothing but his sullen silence, she sighs and sits back on her heels. Her pale fingers lace together in her lap as she says, "I've wanted to go to this school for years, Squall. You know that. It's been my dream to study there. I worked so hard to be accepted, and when I was, I was so happy. I thought … I hoped … that you would be happy for me."

Her voice is so sad, so disappointed. It makes the pain flare in his chest. Quickly, he taps into the anger to make the hurt go away.

"If you loved me," he accuses, "you wouldn't leave."

She starts a little at the sound of his voice, but a moment later, she responds calmly, knowingly, "If you loved me, you'd encourage me to follow my dreams." When his only response is to hide his face again, she adds, "Sometimes, love means putting aside your own wants to make someone else happy."

He hears the rustling of her skirt as she stands, and when she next speaks, her voice floats down to him from above. "I do love you, Squall. Very much. It never mattered to me that we have different mothers. You've always been my precious little brother, dearer to me than anyone else. But loving you doesn't mean destroying my own chance at happiness just because you don't want me to go. I have my own heart, and I want to follow it." She pauses, then says more softly, "Someday, I hope you understand."

Her feet move away, up the steps again, and a moment later, he hears the screen door bounce on its frame once more. She is gone, and he is alone.

The anger that he needs so desperately quickly fades without her presence to keep it hot. Soon, the tears are falling and he can do nothing to stop them or even slow them down. There is just so much pain; surely it will never stop. His heart is broken and it will never heal.

"Sis …" he whispers to the surrounding dark before falling into shaking, voiceless sobs.

xXx

Friday was quite possibly the longest day of Leon's life. If he had thought he was feeling impatient and anxious during the week, it was nothing compared to the day itself. He kept looking at the clock to see how much time had passed and kept finding out that it was less than an hour, or worse mere minutes. By lunchtime, he had convinced himself that his store had fallen into a pocket of distorted space-time and that they were rapidly approaching the speed of light when time would stop altogether.

Finally, finally, the clock on the wall read 6:45, and Leon began wrapping things up around the store in preparation for closing. Rather than run the risk of Yuffie being around when Cloud showed up, he booted her out early with a free copy of a bridal magazine and an order not to come back until lunch the next day. As for Demyx, Leon asked the younger man if he had any plans for the night and, hearing that he didn't, handed him the phone and told him to call Axel. Luckily, the blond understood, and soon he was gone as well, off to his best friend's place for the evening.

At 7:00 sharp, Leon paused in his cleaning to lock the front door and flip the sign to 'Closed'. Ten minutes later, he stood at the front counter, looking about his store in stunned bewilderment. Even without the two extra sets of hands he usually had, he had managed to get everything done with extra time to spare. Despairingly, he racked his brain for something that he had missed, anything that he could do to relieve the nervous energy that was thrumming through his body. When he came up empty, he pulled a folding chair out from the back room and sat down on it, resigning himself to having to wait yet again. His fingers drummed restlessly on the counter as he stared out the front window towards the street.

The clock had barely flipped over to 7:15 when a familiar-looking sedan slid to a stop in one of the metered spaces in front of the store. Leon was on his feet and had grabbed his coat from the back room before the engine died. By the time Cloud was emerging from his car, Leon had reached the front door and was pulling it open. It was utterly freezing outside, but one look from those clear blue eyes sent a kind of liquid warmth coursing through Leon's body from the very center of his chest.

"Hi," Cloud said.

"Hi," Leon replied. His gaze slid briefly over the ordinary-looking car, and he teased, "Didn't want to take Fenrir out for a run?"

Cloud grimaced. "Not in this weather," he explained. "Besides, I didn't know where we were going or if we'd need a ride to get there."

Leon hesitated. Cloud had wandered around his car to stand on the sidewalk, but he still stood several feet away, not within touching distance. Even if he were close enough to touch, both men had their hands firmly stuffed in their pockets and their chins tucked down, ostensibly to protect against the wind but in reality at least partly as a defensive gesture. The uncertainty and nervousness of both men were tangible.

Making a conscious effort to relax himself, Leon pulled his hands from his pockets and offered Cloud a small smile. "We're just going down the street," he said. "There's a really good Thai place tucked into a corner a block down."

At Leon's smile, Cloud seemed to relax a bit as well. His shoulders untensed and he took a step closer to the other man. "Sounds good. Lead the way."

They walked side by side down the street in silence, still not touching but close enough that they could have had they wished to do so. With every step, Leon felt his tension drain further and further away. Cloud did not speak to him, did not look at him, but the atmosphere between the two of them was comfortable. They stayed silent, not because they didn't know what to say, but because neither felt the need.

When they reached the restaurant, Leon pulled open the door for Cloud who thanked him with a nod of his head. The smiling hostess seated them immediately, gave them their menus, took their drink orders, and wandered away to give them privacy.

As Leon took off his coat and placed it on the back of his chair, a sharp gasp grabbed his attention and forced him to look inquisitively at Cloud who sat across from him. The blond was staring at him openly but not at his face. Instead, the blue gaze was fixed on his chest, in particular the ornament that hung around his neck.

"You're wearing Griever," Cloud said softly after a moment.

Leon smirked a little at the obvious happiness in the other's voice. "Yeah."

"I thought …" Cloud's gaze finally lifted and met Leon's. "I just assumed you had gotten rid of it."

"I put him away for a long while," Leon admitted, pulling the pendant away from his breast and letting it rest in his hand for a moment, "but I'd never get rid of Griever completely." A smile flickered across his lips as he stated in a lower voice, "Someone very special gave him to me."

Cloud's face flushed, and he buried his nose in his menu. Smiling fully at the other's reaction, Leon picked up his own menu and concentrated on his order. Once the waitress had come and gone, taking their orders with her, he decided to start a new conversation, one that wouldn't result in embarrassment, and asked Cloud about his new job. This topic suited the other man well, and the two fell into an easy rhythm of question and answer that lasted through the entire meal.

The dinner itself stayed casual and friendly. Leon kept his hands to himself, made no inappropriate comments, and did not allow himself to stare for too long; Cloud did the same. The undercurrent that existed between them remained muted and controlled while still intimate and comfortable. By the time Leon was reaching for the check, he could almost believe that they had never been apart, that the last six years of bitter torment had never happened at all.

The pace of their conversation slowed somewhat on the walk back to the bookstore, but it did not stop. Only when Leon pulled out his keys and moved to unlock the door did Cloud fall completely silent again. Pausing with the key half in the lock, Leon turned to look at the other man. Cloud's eyes were on his car, but his body was mostly turned towards Leon, frozen in a moment of indecision. The expression on the blond's face clearly showed the conflict that was brewing within him; he wanted to stay but he didn't know if he was welcome or how he should ask. Leon repressed a knowing smile as he looked at him. He had no intention of letting Cloud go just yet.

"Hey," he said, bringing Cloud's eyes snapping back to his own, "you want to come up? I'll make some coffee."

A wave of relief washed over Cloud's face. "Yeah," he replied, "I'd like that."

Leon only nodded and pushed open the door. After locking it again behind them, he put his keys away and then reached out and took Cloud by the elbow. The thick darkness surrounding them hid the smirk that curved his lips at the blond's almost unnoticeable intake of breath.

"I'm not going to bother turning on the lights," Leon explained. "Stay close to me."

"Right."

Navigating from years of experience, Leon led Cloud through the pitch-black store, into the back room, and to the bottom of the stairs. Once there, he briefly considered continuing on in the dark -- he could use the opportunity to "guide" Cloud's hand to the railing and then stay closer to him than necessary as they ascended for "safety's sake" -- but he eventually decided against it and flicked the switch that illuminated the second floor. Reluctantly, he dropped Cloud's elbow and began to climb.

Once they were inside the apartment, Leon slipped into the kitchen and began the process of making coffee. Cloud did not follow him, choosing instead to wait in the main room. With the fluid movements of one with much practice, Leon measured out the beans, ground them, stuck them in the filter and the filter in the machine, measured out the water and poured it in, and finally pressed the button to get the whole thing started. The entire time he couldn't stop thinking about Cloud's arm beneath his hand, Cloud's body beside and behind him as they walked. Leon didn't know how far they would end up going tonight, but he knew one thing: he wanted to touch that body at least one more time.

Cloud had said nothing while Leon was in the kitchen, so the brunet wasn't entirely sure what to expect when he emerged into the main room. He assumed the other man would have sat down somewhere, either on the couch or in one of the single chairs in the room. Instead, he found Cloud standing by the window, gazing out into the night sky with one hand lightly pressed against the glass.

Leon took a moment to stand there in the entrance to the kitchen and simply look at the man he loved. Cloud hadn't bothered to turn on the main lights, so he stood there mostly in shadow, illuminated only by the outside lights from the street and the softer beams of the moon. It made his golden hair shine and his fair skin appear even paler than normal. Leon had always known that Cloud was a beautiful man, but in that moment, he seemed like an ethereal being from the heavens, too perfect to be confined to this dirty, mundane place known as Earth.

Slowly, carefully, so as not to break the spell, Leon advanced on Cloud and gently slipped his arms around the other's waist from behind. Cloud immediately leaned back into him, dropping his hand from the window and shutting his eyes. He sighed softly, sending a little shiver of pleasure up Leon's spine. Encouraged, Leon dipped his head and buried his nose in the short hair at the bottom of Cloud's skull. One hand slipped up the blond's chest to rest at his shoulder, holding him in a more protective, more intimate grip.

Standing there with Cloud in his arms, Leon suddenly felt a flood of memories overtake him. Cloud's body felt exactly the same as he remembered it. The same planes and angles, the same dips and curves, all where they were supposed to be. The scent filling his nose was slightly different -- a different shampoo, most likely -- but the underlying scent was the same as the one he remembered, the scent that was uniquely Cloud. It, along with the influx of memories, was quickly undoing him, making him feel heady, almost intoxicated.

His eyes had closed without him realizing it. When he opened them again, he found himself looking down at pale, beautiful skin. Cloud had tipped his head slightly to one side, exposing a bit of his neck and the top of his collarbone. The memories within Leon flared at the tempting sight. Hot shocks of burning fire shot through him and snaked their way into his chest and head, filling each with a thick steam. Cloud felt and smelled the same as he remembered, but would he taste the same?

Cloud gasped as Leon's lips descended onto his neck. "Leon …" he breathed, the one word expressing both surprise and worry, but any further protests the blond may have had melted into a soft moan as Leon attacked the sensitive area at the base of his neck. All of Leon's control instantly evaporated at the quiet, breathy sound. Giving in to the desire that was now raging within him, Leon pulled back, spun Cloud around, pushed him up against the wall, and reclaimed the lips he had lost six long years ago.

It was the same, some small coherent part of him marveled. The same touch, the same smell, the same taste, and the same overwhelming feeling as the two of them came together. But the last time he had kissed Cloud like this, he had been a virgin. Kissing and a little bit of touching above the waist was all they had ever done, too nervous and unsure of themselves to do more. That was no longer the same. Leon had experience now; that roadblock of hesitation that kept him from fulfilling all of his desires was long gone.

Leon's hands had started out on Cloud's shoulders, but after spinning the blond around and pushing him back, they quickly moved, one to Cloud's face to support it and the other to his hip to simply rest for the moment. Taken off guard, Cloud had kept his lips closed and his hands to himself at first, but it wasn't long before he relaxed, opening his mouth to Leon and slipping his arms around the brunet's neck to weave his fingers into his hair. As their tongues hungrily explored each other's mouths, Leon's hands began to move. While the one on Cloud's face gently stroked his cheek with its thumb, the one on his hip slowly slid downwards along the outside of his thigh and then, just as slowly, came back up along the front. It never got close enough to the inside of the thigh to be threatening, but the implication was obvious and Leon felt Cloud shudder against him. The fingers in his hair tightened, and the mouth against his pressed more insistently, both actions fueling the fire within him and making it rage even more fiercely.

In one swift movement, Leon circled both of his arms around Cloud's waist and pulled his lower half away from the wall, simultaneously pushing his own body forward. Their heated kiss finally broke as Cloud tipped his head back with a low moan. Leon paused for half a moment, panting shallowly. Cloud was just as aroused as he was; he could feel the proof of it against his body. Spurred on by that knowledge and by the smooth skin that was once again on display before him, Leon resumed his attack, this time latching himself onto the other side of Cloud's neck. One hand held the blond steady while the other slid down his chest and dove under his shirt, exploring the soft skin beneath. Cloud's hands were on his back, alternately stroking him and clutching his shirt, and he continued to gasp and moan softly as Leon kissed and touched him. Eventually, Cloud had had enough and dipped his head to forcefully take Leon's lips back. Leon pushed him back against the wall again and kissed him deeply, now using both hands to touch as much skin as they could.

When Leon ground their hips together a second time, however, Cloud's hands were suddenly and unexpectedly on his shoulders, pushing him away.

"Stop," Cloud gasped. "Leon, stop."

Breathing raggedly, Leon just stared at him. Stop? What the fuck for?

His expression clearly stated what he was thinking, for Cloud swallowed and explained, "I have to know something before this goes any farther: Do you trust me?"

"Trust … ?" Leon echoed, his mind still fogged with lust. "What?"

"Do you trust me?" Cloud repeated, acting far too lucid for Leon's liking. "If you do, ask me to be your boyfriend again. I promise I'll say yes. But …" His hands fell away from Leon's shoulders to hang loosely at his sides. "I lost myself once," he said sadly. "I refuse to do it again. Not again. Not with you."

Slowly, Leon's breathing and heartbeat began to even out. Cloud was staring at him with those clear eyes, his face equal parts seriousness and regret. Leon reached out a hand to touch him, but Cloud calmly stepped away.

"This is just a date," he said, continuing to hold Leon's gaze with his own, "and a first date at that. I'm not a whore, Leon. I never have been. I refuse to be a one-night stand or, even worse, a fuck-buddy. The history that you and I have makes this physically easier, but by the same token, it makes it much harder for me to believe in it. If you want to continue, I need to know that this is more than old feelings and lust. I need to know that I'm special to you, that you trust me again."

Cloud's beautiful eyes were shimmering with emotion, but his face was calm as he finished, "Ask me to be your boyfriend, Leon. I'll say yes, and then you can do anything you want to me and I won't fight it."

For a good minute or more, Leon just stood there, his mind too stunned and too laced with desire to function properly. But then, he shut his eyes and inhaled a slow, calming breath. Cloud's request was more than reasonable, sensible even considering all they had been through. And really, Leon's initial goals had been to reclaim Cloud as his own in all aspects, not just the physical one, so this request easily fit into his own wants and needs.

All he had to do was formally ask Cloud to be his again.

"Cloud, will you -- ?"

Memories slammed into him and made him stagger. Cloud had been his boyfriend, and Cloud had betrayed him. Leon had given him all of his love, his trust, and Cloud had sliced them to pieces. Cloud had left him in darkness to suffer and rot and die. Cloud had broken him. Cloud had done that. His boyfriend. Cloud.

Desperately, Leon clutched his head with one hand and tried to will away the surging memories and the emotions they brought with them. Logically, he knew that they were not relevant. Cloud's betrayal had been more of a mistake than a conscious malevolent act, and Leon's mind knew that Cloud would not betray him again. His heart, however, clearly still had its doubts. It had suffered too much pain for too long to simply forget and reopen itself to the same one who had torn it apart in the past. Mentally, Leon was ready to ask Cloud back, but his heart was afraid and, at the mere thought of speaking those words, had gone haywire, flooding him with all the negative emotions that he had experienced since Cloud had walked out that door all those years ago.

"Cloud …" he tried again, but this time he couldn't even get out the first word. His heart was screaming, the old wounds suddenly raw and gaping as if they had only just been inflicted. "I …" he stammered, trying to at least say something, "I … I …" Wildly, he spun away, clutched his head in both hands, and roared out his frustration. "I can't!"

A hand touched him on his back, between the shoulder-blades. Leon instantly calmed at the gentle sensation and lifted his head. "It's okay," Cloud's steady voice proclaimed behind him. "I would have been extremely surprised if you could."

Leon bit his lip hard. His body was shaking slightly from the emotional pain and the physical strain of aborted lust. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Don't be," Cloud replied. "If I were you, I wouldn't trust me yet either. That's why I had to know." He paused, and when he spoke again, Leon could hear the smirk in his voice. "No matter how much I wanted you to continue."

A little chuckle bubbled up from Leon's raw, aching chest. "God, I want you so bad," he admitted. "It's been two years since I've had anyone."

Behind him, Cloud laughed. "I've got you beat by a year and a half," he stated, his voice slightly teasing.

Feeling better if not completely recovered, Leon turned his head so that he could see Cloud over his shoulder. "You're kidding," he challenged. "That long?"

"That long," the other confirmed. Then, more sadly, he explained, "I told you I only slept with Aerith because she wanted a child. Once we decided to adopt, there was no reason for us to do it anymore. And I wasn't about to have sex with anyone else. Not when I was married to her. And not …" He faltered, his eyes slipping away. "Not when I couldn't have the one I wanted."

"Cloud …" Leon murmured, turning to him, but Cloud stepped away and wouldn't let Leon touch him.

"I should probably get going," he said, his eyes still averted. "It's getting late, and I don't want Sora and Roxas to worry." He began to move, side-stepping Leon and heading towards the door.

But Leon wasn't about to let him get away now. "Stop," he ordered calmly. "Don't go."

The authoritative tone of Leon's voice stilled Cloud's feet and brought his surprised eyes up to look at him. Smiling softly, Leon closed the distance between them and encircled Cloud with his arms once more.

"Leon," the blond said warningly.

"It may be our first date," Leon explained, "but I'm still allowed to kiss you good-night, right?"

Cloud's eyes searched his face, and Leon waited patiently for the examination to end. When it had, a small smile had settled over Cloud's face, filling Leon with a gentle warmth. "Right," he said.

This time when they kissed, Leon took it slow. Cloud had parted his lips for him again, but Leon ignored the invitation for the moment. Instead, he took the time to appreciate the other man's soft lips, kissing them individually as well as together. And when he finally did slip his tongue into Cloud's waiting mouth, he explored gently, less like a starving man and more like a worshipful pilgrim. Cloud, who had been just as aggressive in the first kiss, understood at once that this time he was to be the object of Leon's adoration. He relaxed entirely into Leon's embrace and followed the other man's lead in everything, using his lips and tongue to welcome and encourage rather than to attack and invade.

As Leon continued to kiss Cloud, he felt his tattered heart begin to knit together and heal. It had taken him a bit of time, but finally he had stopped to listen to the words Cloud had said and to pay attention to the actions Cloud had taken. The other man had wanted to give in to his physical desires just as badly as Leon had, but he had called a stop to it because it undoubtedly would have hurt them at some point down the road. Cloud had put aside his own wants to do what was best. For himself, for Leon, and for the two of them as a couple. Through his actions, Cloud had proven that he possessed a resolve and a strength greater than Leon had ever given him credit for.

They had proven one other thing as well. Leon no longer had any doubt that Cloud loved him. That realization, however, brought with it an unexpected, sobering thought of a different nature. Cloud may have loved Leon, but could Leon still say that he loved Cloud? If he could not trust the other man, if he could not put aside the pain of the past to live with him in the present, he could no longer claim that the emotion he felt for Cloud was love. It resembled love in its depth and intensity, but it was not complete, was not whole. And until it was, Leon knew he would not be able to say the words Cloud needed to hear.

Laughing ruefully, Leon broke the kiss and dropped his head onto Cloud's shoulder.

"What's wrong?" the blond asked him, his hands sliding comfortably up and down his back.

"I just realized I've turned into Vincent."

Cloud's answering laugh shook his shoulders and made Leon's head bounce slightly. "Don't worry about it," he said. "Vincent came around; so will you."

"It took him four years," Leon reminded him bitterly.

"I'll wait."

Those words, spoken immediately and in complete sincerity, forced Leon to lift his head and gaze once more into those hypnotizing oceanic eyes. Cloud gazed steadily back, his expression open and serene. Leon held their connection for as long as he could, but eventually the emotions overwhelmed him and he dipped his head to kiss Cloud once more.

When they finally parted ways, sharing a last lingering kiss in front of Cloud's car, Leon's heart felt full and completely healed. He knew that it wasn't, however. The old wounds were still there, waiting to be reopened just as they had been earlier. It would take quite a bit of time for them to scar over and fade away. For now, though, he could put them aside and enjoy the wonderful feeling of finally having peace within himself.

After he had watched Cloud pull away and disappear down the street, Leon returned to his apartment with a small smile engraved into his lips. He took a quick detour into the kitchen to turn off the untouched coffee maker, then retired to his room to crawl into bed and, eventually, fall asleep.