Chapter Twenty-Five
Over the years, the sound of Zoe's heartbeat helped to bring him down from the heights of emotions – anger being only one of them. She wasn't aware of the power she held over him yet, but the feel of her fingers were strong and comforting in his hair. They moved through the short strands at the back of his neck, lifting them from his scalp, and pressing her fingers there to massage the tension from his body. It was all done without thought. He closed his eyes against the sensation and sighed. It was always the Daleks; they kept casting a long, dark shadow over his life.
He listened to the steady thump-thump of her heart in her fragile human chest. She felt so delicate in his arms, as though she'd shatter if he held her too tightly. He couldn't remember her ever feeling like that before. Not even on the long nights he lay stretched out in her bed in the weeks and months after Tolandra, the shade of which was long gone although it had left its mark on his Zoe. She felt terrifyingly human and he pressed his face deeper into the curve of her neck, anger at himself throbbing through him. He'd walked straight into the trap the Daleks had set out before him, just like he always did.
Stupid Doctor he chastised himself you never learn.
The laboratory was deathly silent. No one seemed able, or willing, to speak. Churchill appeared shaken, although it wouldn't last long knowing him. He hadn't won the war by allowing a setback to keep him down for long. Amy emerged from behind a filing cabinet, pale but determined, confident that the Doctor or the professor would fix the situation. Bracewell however was shaking all over. His eyes were fixed on his broken limb that revealed the truth about who he was in the most horrific way. The Daleks left a feeling of failure and hopelessness hanging over the room, and with the Doctor slumped against Zoe, the picture of defeat seemed complete.
Eventually, the Doctor raised his head from her neck but stayed pressed against her, her arm around his shoulders.
"Testimony accepted." He said into the silence. "That's what they said. My testimony."
"Don't beat yourself up because you were right." Amy said comfortingly, her Scottish briskness and tendency to pick herself up and brush herself off was very much appreciated in the moment. "So, what do we do?"
"We go after them." Zoe said, looking from Amy to the Doctor. "Take the TARDIS up to their ship and do whatever we have to do to stop them, right?"
"That's what I do, yeah, and it's dangerous, so you wait here." The Doctor ordered, pulling himself reluctantly from the warmth and safety of Zoe's embrace, his hand lingering a moment too long on her hip.
"What? So you mean I've got to stay safe down here in the middle of the London Blitz?" Amy asked incredulously, her brilliant red hair shining like fire and sunlight under the unforgiving light of the bunker.
"Safe as it gets around me." He apologised, speaking honestly before stopping Zoe from joining him with a hand that tightened on her hip. "You too, love."
She ignored the affectionate term of endearment.
"I beg your fucking pardon?" She asked sharply.
He winced at her tone, his face still as expressive as it was with the Doctor she'd met months ago. His skin and muscles contorted like elastic.
"You're not coming with me." He told her.
"Yes, I am."
"No, you're not." He said firmly. It had been years since he'd had this type of argument with her and he remembered just how badly it had worked then. At first she'd been amenable to following his orders but that hadn't lasted long - weeks, if anything. Thanatos had changed her outlook on blindly following his orders; Tolandra just solidified it. "Zoe, you're from the past. You know what happens if the timelines are messed with. If you die here today...the paradox would be inconceivable."
"Well, obviously I don't die today otherwise I wouldn't have met my future self and come here." She pointed out, reminding him that she didn't know about the intricacies of time travel yet. There was so much he took for granted in his Zoe - her knowledge and experience was vast and encompassing. In young Zoe's time, the Doctor wasn't bothering to teach her anything that would actually be useful for her future as he didn't want the extra heartbreak of getting his hopes dashed when she inevitably left. "So I'm coming."
"Time doesn't work like that." He told her quickly as time was of the essence. "And you'll realise that eventually, but right now, you need to know that you can die today - that seeing your future self means nothing. Time is constantly being rewritten, every minute, every hour. It's a malleable thing Time, and I'm not going to risk your future on it. Not today."
"But -"
"Please." He implored, taking her hand in his and pulling it against his chest between his hearts, his other hand cupping her face that still held some baby fat from her youth. She felt the universe narrow to just them and breathing was suddenly very difficult to do. Her lungs burned. "Zoe, I'm not going to risk our days on it. We have so many of them to come. Wonderful, brilliant days. You and me in the TARDIS, running and exploring and saving countless worlds. Don't ask me to risk those. Please."
He realised his mistake too late. A dawning realisation swept into her eyes and her fingers flexed in his grip, her body swaying a little towards him.
"Oh." She breathed softly, feeling as the universe was pouring into her.
That soft oh made him want to –
"Spoilers." The Doctor whispered before he leaned forwards and kissed her cheek, lips lingering against her warm skin.
He released her abruptly. She staggered a little at having to support her body weight unexpectedly and he took off at a run to where he'd parked the TARDIS after dropping Other Zoe off at a nondescript corner. He ran so that she couldn't catch up with him, and he ran because he was a coward who'd accidentally given away the biggest spoiler of her future. He half-expected to feel the timelines shifting around him and he jumped into the TARDIS, the doors snapping shut behind him.
Back in the laboratory, Amy sidled up to her with an expression on her face that indicated she was extremely put out at being left behind. Zoe knew the feeling - or at least she would if she could feel anything other than the shock that reverberated through her system, her cheek burning where his lips had touched her.
"What's he expect us to do now?" She complained.
He loves me Zoe thought in a daze.
"KBO, of course." Churchill said, flanking Amy.
He's in love with me.
"KBO?"
He loves me.
"Keep buggering on." Zoe translated suddenly, snapping herself out of her daze and lowering her fingers from her cheek where she had been touching the place his lips had landed like a foolish girl. Her cheeks burned and she shoved her hand into her pockets, watching Churchill move towards Bracewell.
"Professor?" Amy asked, hesitantly touching her shoulder. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah." She said after a beat of silence. "Come on, Amelia. There's plenty we can do from here."
In the main room where little figurines of troops and military equipment were situated on a large map to signify the field of war, Zoe stood with her arms folded across her chest as she listened to everyone talking around her. Her shock at the revelation that the Doctor was in love with her – or at least a version of her that existed in the future – was being replaced by anger that he'd not only thought of leaving her behind, but had actually done so. She acknowledged that his argument was logical but she still didn't appreciate it. Her eyes watched a young woman, probably a few years older than Rose, enter the room and hurry towards Churchill.
"Prime Minister." She said.
Churchill didn't even angle his corpulent body towards her. He kept his eyes fixed on the information coming in. "Yes?"
"Signal from RDF, sir." The woman said. "Unidentified object. Hanging in the sky, Captain Childers says. We can't get a proper fix, though. It's too far up."
Finally Zoe thought and Amy moved quickly forwards, her excitement nearly making her stumble. Churchill looked up at the tall woman.
"What do you think, Miss Pond?" He asked. "The Doctor's in trouble and now we know where he is."
"Yeah, because he'll be on that ship, won't he?" Amy asked, looking back towards Zoe, addressing her question to her. "Right in the middle of everything."
Churchill rapped her upper arm with his knuckles and smiled around his cigar. "Exactly."
"Winston, excuse me." Zoe interrupted; she dropped her arms from her chest. "But you don't have the technology in 1941 to get a message up there, let alone help. What do you intend to do?"
"Surely you have some ideas, professor." Churchill said with a cheer that she felt was a bit misplaced given the circumstances. "I've never known you to be short of them in the past."
A headache started to build between her eyes. She wanted to pinch her nose but she valiantly resisted.
"I'm not the woman you know." She replied sincerely. "Whatever experiences you've had with me in the past...they haven't happened for me yet. If you're putting your hopes on me having a brilliant idea then -"
Whatever she was about to say was lost in the panic that came with the words from an officer manning one of the phones.
"The generators won't switch off." The officer said, bewildered with just a hint of panic at the edge of his voice. "The lights are on all across London, Prime Minister."
"Has to be them. It has to be the Daleks." Amy said with a nod.
"The Germans can see every inch of the city." Churchill growled angrily. "We're sitting ducks. Get those lights out before the Germans get here."
"Get someone to the National Grid." Zoe suggested urgently to the Prime Minister, her fingers tingling with adrenaline. "Have them burn the building down if they have to. Whatever it takes the get the lights off."
The Prime Minister turned and delivered the order. "Send men to the National Grid. Have them yank the wires out of the ground. Get the lights off now."
"Confirm. Squadron two four four and fifty six mobilised. Emergency. Emergency."
"One oh nine? One oh nine, confirm."
"Thousands will die if we don't get those lights out now." Churchill barked into the room of organised panic and chaos - the British knew how to soldier through even when the odds were stacked against them.
"German bombers sighted over the Channel, sir. ETA ten minutes, sir."
"Here they come. " He said, bracing himself and the room of officers. "Get a message to Mr Attlee. War Cabinet meeting at 0300 hours...if we're all still here."
"We can't just sit here." Amy said, looking wildly around at Zoe. "We've got to take the fight to the Daleks."
"How? None of our weapons are a match for theirs." Zoe said. "You haven't seen the Daleks in action, Amy. Nothing can stop them. Their weapons are beyond any human technology, particularly in this time. Only alien -"
She stopped suddenly. A brilliant idea struck her. Part of her wished it hadn't because of the way Churchill grinned knowingly. The more sensible part of her turned on her heels and strode away, calling out for Amy to follow her and she had to jogged to keep up.
"What is it, professor?" She asked eagerly. "Do you have an idea?"
"Makings of one." Zoe replied before frowning. "You know, you really don't have to keep calling me that. Professor. You can call me Zoe."
"Yeah, no, I'm good thanks." Amy laughed. "Reckon that'd be too weird. You've always been the professor to me."
"You say I've known you all your life?" She asked curiously, aware that she was threatening to step across the line of knowing too much.
"Well, we met when I was seven." Amy answered, not knowing well enough to keep quiet and Zoe figured that having another glimpse into her future wouldn't be world ending - at least not after the Doctor's revelation. "I prayed to Santa for help and you appeared in my garden."
She looked amused. "Why would you pray to Santa?"
"Why wouldn't you?"
"Good point." She conceded. "So you've been travelling with us since you were seven. That seems extremely reckless, even for the Doctor."
"No." Amy shook her head, her long red hair falling over her shoulders. "I wanted to come with you but you wouldn't let me. You tucked me up in bed, told me a story, promised to come back for me one day and then I didn't see you for another fourteen years. That was six days ago."
"Blimey." Zoe said, stunned. "Sorry for the wait, I suppose?"
Amy grinned. "It's fine. Sorry for the cricket bat to the face."
"Sorry the what now?" She asked alarmed.
A mischievous grin stole across the other woman's face. "Spoilers."
Zoe couldn't help but laugh. "I can see why I like you."
Amy looked extremely pleased at that.
"So where are we going then?" She asked. "The Doctor's up in space. We're down here. What's your plan?"
"The answer is staring us right in the face." She explained, feeling more light hearted than she had moments ago. She hoped that Rose and the Doctor were safe wherever they were, far from whatever the Daleks had planned. The thought of having to live the day twice didn't sit well with her; she hoped the second time around there would be less Daleks involved. "A gift the Daleks gave us."
Edwin Bracewell was still in the laboratory. He'd devised a makeshift sling for his arm, wrapping non-conductive material around the stump that ended at his wrist, and he looked miserable and defeated. He didn't even look up when Zoe and Amy swept into the room bringing with them an air of purpose and hope. Everything he ever thought – every hope, dream, and moment of happiness were all an illusion created by the Daleks to give him the facsimile of life. To have that certainty pulled out from underneath him left him feeling as though he was a ship adrift at sea in the middle of a storm, rudderless. His fingers flexed around the gun he held in his hand, trying to find the courage inside of his false body to pull the trigger.
"Put the gun down, Professor Bracewell." Zoe ordered. "We need you."
"My life is a lie." Bracewell said, his voice wavering on his words. "And I choose to end it."
"In your own time, Paisley boy." Amy replied, swinging around and bending over in front of him so that their faces were close. "Because the professor's right. We need your help."
"But those creatures, my Ironsides, they made me?" He asked, looking between the two of them with an expression of exquisite agony on his face. Zoe's heart went out to him. "I can remember things. So many things. The last war. The squalor and the mud and the awful, awful misery of it all. What am I?"
"You are whatever you decide you are." Zoe said, moving around and dragging a chair out, the legs of it scraping painfully across the floor, grabbing his notebook that she'd been flicking through earlier as she did so. She sat next to him and placed her hand on his knee. "They might have created this body, but they didn't your soul, your heart. You get to decide what to do with that. You're not beholden to them."
"But...I..."
"Listen to me," she said seriously, "I understand. Your entire life has just changed like that -" she snapped her fingers and he jumped. "But there is a spaceship up there lighting up London like Oxford Street at Christmas. Thousands of people are going to die tonight if we don't stop it, and you're the only one who can help take it down."
When he spoke, he sounded thick with snot and tears. "I am?"
"You're alien technology," she said, "but better than that, and I can't believe I'm saying this, you're Dalek technology. For all their faults, and there are many, they are ingenious. Truly, and I travel with the Doctor, so I don't use that word lightly. They made a big mistake in leaving you down here with us. I need you to help me make one of your ideas a reality."
Bracewell set the gun down and Amy quickly, but discreetly, moved it out of his reach. Zoe caught her eye and nodded. He wiped at his face with a handkerchief as she flicked open the book and tapped the page.
"This." She said. "I need you to make this a reality."
"Environmental shields?" He asked, blowing his nose. "What good will that do?"
"Winston." She looked over her shoulder at the Prime Minister who'd accompanied them for lack of a better idea. "Do you have a squadron of fighter pilots ready to go?"
"They can be ready, professor." He assured her.
"It's like Amy said," she replied, "we need to take the fight to the Daleks. We don't have space ships, but we do have the RAF."
Churchill caught onto her idea and a smile stretched across his large face. "Oh, yes we do. Yes - we - do!"
"I don't understand." Amy said as Bracewell rose to his feet and got to work, calling out orders to his assistants; Churchill bustled from the room and was barking orders as he moved down the corridor as time was, once again, of the essence. There was only so long that even the Doctor could keep the Daleks busy before they killed him out of irritation. "What are we doing?"
"We're sending the RAF fighter pilots up to the Dalek ship." Zoe explained, shrugging out of her coat and tossing it over the back of her chair, finding herself grateful for the first time for her short hair as she didn't have to tie it up. "The Daleks need a satellite of sorts, or an array of some kind, to so closely target London. They could cover the whole planet from inside the ship but for such specific targeting they need something on the outside. We're going to send the pilots up using Professor Bracewell's environmental shielding to give them atmosphere so that they can knock out the satellite and put London back into darkness."
"That's brilliant!" Amy exclaimed. "But wait - what about the National Grid? I thought it was being shut down. Isn't that safer?"
"Yes, but it's unlikely to work." She admitted. "The Daleks don't need a grid network to activate electricity. They can power it remotely from their ship but disabling the Grid was a good idea when there were no other ideas. Now - go after Churchill. Keep an eye on what's happening up there. If that ship moves an inch, I want to know about it."
"On it, professor!" Amy laughed and she dashed away, whooping with excitement.
Zoe turned to Bracewell. "Alright, professor, put me to work."
Inside the TARDIS, the Doctor was reminded of exactly why he had so much faith in Zoe Tyler when RAF spitfires broke out of the Earth's atmosphere and sped towards the Dalek ship. He laughed at the absurdity of it, relief crashing through him. His back had been against a wall and he'd been struggling to find a way out. Locking himself in his TARDIS to buy some time was the best idea he'd had, and then seventeen-year-old Zoe Tyler managed to pull him to safety once again.
"Danny Boy to the Doctor, Danny Boy to the Doctor. Are you receiving me? Over."
His laughter bubbled through as he grabbed the radio. "Loud and clear, Danny Boy! Big dish on the side of the ship. Blow it up. Over."
His finger released the button and he released a whoop of delight to the TARDIS ceiling.
"Zoe, you beautiful genius!" He laughed.
The Doctor's mirth faded with each spitfire that was blown out of the sky until only Danny Boy remained. He deactivated the Daleks' shielding, disrupting it for just long enough for the brave RAF pilot to destroy the dish. London went out – the light on the planet below popping out as quickly as a bulb blowing. He thought about sending Danny Boy in for another run but it would be useless. Even with the advanced weaponry arming the spitfire, he would still stand no match against the Dalek. He raised the radio to his mouth again when the white Dalek's voice echoed through the TARDIS.
"Doctor, call off your attack."
"And what?" The Doctor scoffed, already keying into the rarely used TARDIS weapons' system in order to build enough energy from the Eye of the TARDIS to blow the Dalek ship into dust. "Let you scuttle off back to the future? Not a chance. This is the end for you. The final end this time, and I mean that."
"Call off the attack, or we will destroy the Earth."
The Doctor's fingers paused. "I'm not stupid, mate. You've just played your last card."
"Bracewell is a bomb."
Even though he knew that the Dalek was more than capable of lying and bluffing, as deception being second nature to Davros's children, he also knew he couldn't take the chance. Maybe, in another universe, in another life, he would. However Zoe was down there. She was probably in the same room as Bracewell. He couldn't risk being wrong, not if it meant losing her. He'd never been very good at risking her life.
"You're lying." He said but it didn't matter, not really.
"His power is derived from an Oblivion Continuum. Call off your attack, or we will detonate the android."
He bowed his head and his face contorted with anger and frustration. Once again, the Daleks were slipping from between his fingers, able to survive another day to try and rebuild their empire while he continued through the universe with the knowledge that Gallifrey would never return. Zoe was right – they were like cockroaches. He picked up the radio, ignoring the Dalek as it continued on, telling him that the Earth will shatter and humans will die screaming, belabouring the point somewhat.
The countdown began.
"The Doctor to Danny Boy." He said heavily. "The Doctor to Danny Boy. Withdraw."
There was a crackle and a hiss. "Say again, sir. Over."
"Withdraw. Return to Earth. Over and out."
"But, sir -"
"There's no time. Return to Earth now. Over and out."
He released the radio and it bobbed up and down on its black spiral cord. He quickly threw the TARDIS into the dematerialisation sequence, hurrying urging his girl along. The thought of Zoe standing next to an armed bomb made his hearts hurt and his blood run like ice through his veins. As soon as the TARDIS landed, he hurled himself out through the doors and sprinted down through the corridors and into the main room. He caught sight of Zoe who was, sure enough, standing next to Bracewell. She turned with a pleased smile dawning across her face.
The Doctor drew back his fist and punched Bracewell. "Ow! Titanium! Ow!"
"Doctor!" Zoe exclaimed, a horrified expression of surprise on her face. "What the hell?"
"Sorry, professor." He apologised to Bracewell, who was sprawled on the ground, shaking the pain from his hand. He looked at Zoe and pointed at the fallen man. "An inconceivably massive Dalek bomb."
Bracewell looked bewildered. "What?"
"What?" Zoe repeated.
"There's an Oblivion Continuum inside you." The Doctor explained, dropping to his knees at the man's side – for he was a man, regardless of how he was made. "A captured wormhole that provides perpetual power. Detonate that, and the Earth will bleed through into another dimension. Now stay down."
Zoe dropped down to kneel at Bracewell's head, drawing it into her lap as the Doctor started working on the man's torso with his sonic screwdriver.
"Can you deactivate it?" She asked quietly.
"Hope so." He said, not looking at her.
"Do you even know how to deactivate bombs?" She worried.
"You pick a few things up over the centuries." He said, peeling the skin back to display five blue segments that created a circle. Ominously, one segment started to turn yellow. "Admittedly, I've never actually seen an Oblivion Continuum before."
"Can we get him into the TARDIS?" She asked, hands on either side of Bracewell's head to keep him still and to anchor him. His body was twitchy with his panic. "Get him off Earth?"
He shook his head. "It'll be even worse if he blows up in the TARDIS."
"So what? They've wired him up to detonate?" Amy asked, kneeling at Bracewell's other side so he was surrounded by concerned time travellers.
"Oh no, not wired him up. He is a bomb." The Doctor explained, working hard to try to stop the progression of the bomb. "Walking, talking, exploding, the moment that -" he pointed at the segmented circle, "flashes red."
"There's a blue wire or something you have to cut, isn't there?" Amy asked, slipping her hand into Bracewell's and smiling reassuringly down at him even as her words were filled with fear and nervousness. "There's always a blue wire. Or a red one."
He stared at her. "You're not helping."
"It's incredible." Churchill observed from behind the table. "He talked to us about his memories. The Great War."
"Someone else's stolen thoughts, implanted in a positronic brain." The Doctor explained before giving up the sonic screwdriver for lost. "Tell me about it. Bracewell. Tell me about your life. Tell me, and prove you're human. Tell me everything."
Bracewell's eyes moved back and forth rapidly, his pupils dancing around the room in fear, but he focused and tried.
"My family ran the Post Office." He started, fear making his voice shake. "It's a little place just near the abbey, just by the ash trees. There used to be eight trees but there was a storm..."
"And your parents?" The Doctor urged. "Come on, tell me."
"Good people. Kind people." A tear slid down his cheek. "They died. Scarlet fever."
"What was that like? How did it feel?" He asked urgently, remembering how he'd used his pain to remember he was alive after the War. "How did it make you feel, Edwin? Tell me. Tell me now."
Bracewell's face contracted with grief, tears slipping down his cheeks and into Zoe's hands. "It hurt. It hurt, Doctor, it hurt so badly. It was like a wound. I though it was worse than a wound. Like I'd been emptied out. There was nothing left."
There were only two blue segments remaining on his chest.
"Good. Remember it now, Edwin." The Doctor encouraged, wondering if Zoe and Amy would have time to get to the TARDIS if he sent them away then and there. He knew Zoe wouldn't leave though. In his hearts he knew that, and if Zoe stayed, Amy stayed. "The ash trees by the Post Office, and your mum and dad, and losing them, and men in the trenches you saw die. Remember it. Feel it. You feel it because you're human. You're not like them. You're not like the Daleks."
"It hurts, Doctor. It hurts so much." Bracewell sobbed, twisting his body as though he could escape the pain.
"Good. Good, good, brilliant." He enthused urgently. "Embrace it. That means you're alive. They cannot explode that bomb because you're a human being. You are flesh and blood. They cannot explode that bomb. Believe it. You are Professor Edwin Bracewell, and you, my friend, are a human being."
"Stop, stop!" Zoe said as the last segment started to turn yellow. "It's not working. It's not working because Daleks know pain and hatred." She hovered her face over Bracewell. "Hey, professor, have you ever been in love?"
"What?" He stuttered fearfully.
"Love." She repeated with a soft smile. "It hurts, doesn't it? But kind of a good hurt, right?"
"I - I really shouldn't talk about her." He said, his eyes darting back and forth, a blush rising on his cheeks.
"Oh." Amy teased with a smile at Bracewell's blush, catching onto Zoe's thought process. "There's a her."
Zoe laughed softly. "Isn't there always?"
"What was her name?" The Doctor asked, trusting Zoe to know what was right.
"Dorabella." Bracewell whispered the name like a pledge of love on the wind.
"Dorabella?" The Doctor repeated incredulously and Zoe shot him a stern look. He quickly corrected his tone. "It's a lovely name. It's a beautiful name."
"What was she like, Edwin?" Amy asked.
"Oh, such a smile." His own smile started to creep across his face, transforming it from panicked and afraid to soft and gentle. "And her eyes. Her eyes were so blue. Almost violet, like the last touch of sunset on the edge of the world." He closed his eyes and imagined her face before him. "Dorabella."
Without warning, all the segments returned to blue. The tension leaked from the room and Zoe pulled her hand back and released a breath, smiling at the Doctor. He grinned at both her and Amy, relief wrapping around him. He clapped Bracewell on the shoulder.
"Welcome to the human race." He smiled.
"You'll be great." Zoe grinned down at him and Bracewell looked up at her and laughed delightedly, giddy from the adrenaline. She looked away from him to the Doctor, pleasure fading a little. "What about the Daleks?"
"It's too late." Bracewell answered for him, sitting up from Zoe's lap. "They're gone. I - I can feel it. They're gone."
Although he knew that would be the case, the Doctor couldn't help but feel cheated at having lost to the Daleks once again.