Chapter 25

When Chiara woke the next morning, she was momentarily disoriented by the fact that she wasn't in her quarters. She blinked away the last bits of sleep and looked over to see Thrawn sleeping next to her. She noted that he was laying on top of the blankets, instead of under them, presumably for propriety's sake. And this was after he had tried to give up his bed completely for her comfort. How did I manage to end up with such a wonderful, considerate man? she wondered for what had to be the hundredth time. She tried to ignore the nagging guilt that lingered for ignoring the Jedi rules of non-attachment as she studied Thrawn's face as he slept. Was this really the will of the Force, or was she just trying to justify her actions? She wished she knew for sure. Chiara rolled onto her back and stared up at the grey ceiling. There was her vision, though, as well as the incredible sense of peace that had flowed through her from the Force the day that Thrawn had come to visit her while she was meditating. She hadn't imagined either of those things.

She felt Thrawn stir next to her and turned to find him awake and watching her. "Good morning. I trust you slept well?" he asked.

Suddenly feeling uncharacteristically shy as the fact occurred to her that she, a Jedi Master, was laying in bed with a man she had only known for a few months, Chiara just nodded.

"Good," he said simply, reaching over to adjust the blanket so that it covered her shoulder.

"Didn't you get cold?" she asked, finding her voice. "We could have shared a blanket."

"It was fine," he assured her, getting up. He leaned across the bed to plant a kiss on her forehead. "I have to get to work, but you can stay as long as you like."

Her eyes followed him across the room as he retrieved a clean uniform from one of the drawers built into the wall. He had slept in a fitted, sleeveless shirt that left little of his physique to the imagination. Chiara couldn't help staring at his well-muscled shoulders and biceps until he disappeared into the 'fresher. Distracted though she was by his rather attractive build, she couldn't help but notice that there was something different about his sense. She sat up as he came back out of the 'fresher, dressed in a neatly pressed uniform.

"Thrawn, what did the Admiral want, last night?" she asked. From the look on his face, she gathered that he wasn't quite ready to discuss it yet. "Not that you have to tell me," she added hastily.

He paused and looked at her. "No, you have a right to know, since it was about you," he told her. He crossed the room and sat down next to her on the edge of the bed. "The Admiral knows that we have become involved. She was voicing her concerns about how our relationship will impact my career. She thinks that it would prevent me from ever reaching High Command, or even just having a command of my own."

Chiara carefully kept her expression neutral. "And so she wanted you to break up with me."

"Yes," he said simply.

"And what do you think?" she asked, trying hard to keep her voice steady.

"I think she is right. The Ruling Families are too steeped in centuries of prejudice to accept outsider. They would see you as a weakness and a threat to my loyalties."

She absorbed his statement in silence. "So when do you want to take me back to the Republic?" she asked finally, a slight quaver making its way into her voice.

He looked at her in surprise. "What? You don't really think...?" He took one of her pale hands in both of his. "Chiara, I spent a lot of time thinking about this, last night. It doesn't matter. I knew this wouldn't be an easy road from the beginning. I hadn't fully considered all of the ramifications, but that doesn't change anything. I will serve the Chiss to the best of my abilities and in whatever capacity they grant me, but I will not do it at your expense. At our expense," he amended.

"You would do that for me?" she asked. "You would give up your chances at High Command?" He nodded. "But why would you do that?" she blurted, disbelieving.

Thrawn shook his head at her and gently drew her into his arms. "Chiara, you have spent your entire life giving up everything for others. Is it really so hard for you to believe that someone would want to give something up for you?"

He was right, she knew, as always. After nearly four hundred years of serving others with no regard for herself, self-sacrifice had become ingrained in her. Accepting the sacrifices of someone was else was a completely foreign concept to her, though. Sure, the people of the Republic occasionally gave token gifts to the Jedi who helped them, but it was just that: a token. Both parties knew that she could never keep anything that they gave her and that she would simply turn around and give it away to someone in need. Now that she found herself on the receiving end of a personal sacrifice of such magnitude, she had no idea how to respond. Unable to find anything to say, she settled for putting her arms around him and leaning her head against his shoulder. Thrawn stroked her hair and laid his cheek against her head. In that moment, she felt like he saw her more clearly than anyone ever had in her entire life, including her. She sighed, wishing they could stay this way forever, locked safely away from the pressure of the Jedi Council and the Chiss Ascendency. After several long moments, she stirred. "You should probably go. You might as well not make things any harder on yourself by getting a disciplinary record for being late."

Thrawn smiled at her. "You have an excellent point." He kissed her before letting her go and standing up. "I will see you tonight. Try to stay out of trouble."