"Take Care"
Sonny and Chad were just your average husband and wife. They were quietly watching the television when someone threw a rock through their window. The rock landed at Sonny's feet, and she picked it up and removed the paper wrapping the rock. She looked at the message written on the paper, then at Chad, then back at the paper.
"What does it say, Sonny?" Chad asked, no longer able to handle the suspense.
"'Take care of yourself, Cooper'," Sonny replied.
"Is someone trying to threaten me?" Chad asked himself.
"Fool!" Sonny shouted. "This came from your mistress! I knew you were cheating on me! The message even has an XOXO at the end!" She showed the paper to Chad, who looked at it briefly before turning towards the camera.
"Outside"
Tawni and Nico were watching television when someone threw a rock through the window. It landed on the couch and bounced into Nico's hands. "The rock bounces!" he exclaimed as he removed the paper wrapped around the rock.
"It does," Tawni mumbled, trying hard not to laugh. Instead, she had an odd coughing fit that lasted for two seconds. Finally, she was able to say, "What does it say?"
Nico read the whole message before showing it to Tawni. "My love, someone's trying to threaten us," he said. "It said something bad is going to happen to us if we try to step out of our house."
"What do we do, Nico?"
Nico thought for a moment before replying, "Check outside. Maybe the guy who threw the rock is still out there." Tawni quickly stood up from the couch and went out of the house, and then just as quickly went back in and asked Nico, "Wait a minute! Why am I checking it out? Why not you?"
Nico could only stare at the camera. If one watches closely, you could see that he's mouthing the words, Yeah; there is something definitely wrong with that.
"Numbered"
"Honey, I'm home!" Grady shouted as he entered the house. Suddenly, a rock from out of nowhere struck him in the temple and made him bump his head on the edge of the living room's coffee table. His wife, Zora, immediately shrieked and came to his aid. "OMG, Grady, are you okay?" she asked him.
"Barely," he replied weakly.
"Wait; let me see what's on the rock." Zora grabbed the rock that had struck Grady and removed the paper wrapping it. "What does it say?" Grady asked her.
"'Watch your back, Grady; your days are numbered.'"
"Is that so?" Grady suddenly went limp.
"Wrong Number"
Sonny and Nico were watching the television when someone threw a rock through their window. A surprised Nico bolted upright on his seat and grabbed the rock. He removed the paper wrapping it and read the message written on the paper aloud.
"'You are very hard-headed'," he read. "'Fatso! Fatso!' Hey, wait a minute! I ain't fat!"
"I'm most definitely not the fat one," Sonny added.
"'I will burn your shop to the ground!'"
"Shop? We don't have a shop! Do we, Nico?"
"Not that I'm aware of, Sonny. Wait; there's more. 'I will kill your children one by one.' What the heck does that mean?"
"We don't have kids, Nico. You're sterile, remember?"
"Here's the last part, honey. 'Remember, you slimy slimeball, you are not the king of Pasadena'—Pasadena? We're in Glendale!"
"Does that message even make sense?" Sonny asked. Just then, someone through another rock at them. Nico picked it up once again. "What does it say?" Sonny asked him.
"'Sorry, wrong number.' Unbelievable!" Nico showed the message to Sonny, who could only shake her head at the camera.
"Warning"
Tawni and Grady were quietly watching the television when someone threw a rock at them. The crash of the window shocked Grady out of his seat, and he almost fell off of the couch. "Whoa!" he shouted. "What the heck was that?"
"It's a rock," Tawni replied, picking it up. "There's some kind of paper wrapped around it."
"That must mean there's a message in there. What does it say, my love?"
Tawni looked at the paper, then at Grady. "'Watch out,'" she read. "'There are many people throwing rocks into houses today.'"
"You don't say?" Grady told the camera.
"Friend"
"Go Clippers!" shouted Chad and Dinka. "Run that ball to the basket, CP3!"
"Aw, dang it!" said Nico. "He missed!"
"Still a good play, though," Chad muttered as they settled back on their sofas. Suddenly, someone threw a rock at them, surprising them. Nico grabbed the rock and removed the paper wrapped around it. "What does it say, bro?" Chad asked him.
Nico read the paper for a second or two before saying, "'Emma Elmslie wants to be your friend. Accept, reject, or ignore?'"
Dinka thought about it for a moment before replying, "Reject that request, Nico. I don't even know who that Emma person is!"
"Okay." Nico took the rock, wrapped the paper around it again, and threw it back outside.
"Rock"
"This show is so amazing," Dinka told Zora. "It is very funny!"
"Yeah, and it's romantic, too!" Zora added.
"I love Rom-Com," Dinka muttered. Suddenly, a rock landed on their feet. Zora picked it up and said, "It's a rock!"
"I noticed, Zora," Dinka replied. As she removed the paper wrapping, he asked her, "Is there a message on it? What does it say?"
"'Watch your back, Kashirovic,'" Zora read, "'I will soon have my revenge.' Oh, my! What do we do, Dinka?"
"I know! Hide the rock! Keep it in a safe place."
"Why? Are we going to use it as evidence? See if CSI can pull a fingerprint off of it?"
"No, Zora, I'm going to use it as a scrubber! See?" Dinka grabbed the rock from Zora and cradled it in his palm. "It fits perfectly in my hand! It's perfect, just like you."
Zora made a face at the camera.
"Repair"
"This show is so funny," Nico muttered. Suddenly, someone threw a rock at him and Sonny. Nico stood up, picked up the rock, and removed the paper wrapped around it. "What does it say, Nico?" Sonny asked him.
"'Broken windows and mirrors? Call Little Johnny's Glass Repair Shop at 935-01-05!'"
"All this effort for some cheap advertising?" Sonny asked the camera.
"Note"
Chad seemed very preoccupied with the telephone, while Tawni watched the television. Suddenly, someone threw a rock at them. "What was that?" asked a very surprised Tawni.
"It's a rock," Chad replied. "It's wrapped in paper." He removed the paper in question. "There's a message on the paper."
"What does it say?" Tawni asked. And then a horrible thought occurred to her. "OMG! Maybe it's a ransom note! Someone we know must have been kidnapped!"
"Are you crazy?" Chad shouted. "What do you mean kidnapped? We're actually the kidnappers! Have you forgotten about our hostage!?" He pointed out Zora, who smiled at the camera despite having her hands tied.
"Oh, right. Well, what does it say?"
"'This is the police,'" Chad read. "'Our megaphone broke down, so we're going to communicate this way. You are surrounded on all sides! Surrender now or you will be shot!" His voice rose by an octave for every word starting from the third sentence.
"Chain Mail"
Sonny and Dinka were watching the television when someone threw a rock at them. Sonny shrieked in surprise, but Dinka only reacted to the stone when he heard Sonny shout. He picked up the stone, which had landed at his feet, and handed it to Sonny. "What does it say?" he asked her.
"'God is good all the time, and all the time, God is good,'" Sonny read. "'Please pass this on to ten of your closest friends and you will receive a miracle.' Can you believe this chain mail stuff?"
"Da, Sonny, I cannot believe it, too," Dinka replied as he turned to the camera.
"Warning"
"This show is so funny!" Nico said as he guffawed. Tawni, who was watching television with him, laughed hard also and told him, "It's amazing, right?"
"Yeah, very amazing." Suddenly, someone threw a rock at them. Nico jumped back in surprise. "Holy cow!" he said, stressing each syllable. "It's a letter with a rock!" he told Tawni as he picked it up.
"Well, what does it say?"
"It says, 'Be on the lookout. Someone may try to smash your windows.'"
"Hmm," Tawni muttered. "I wonder when that will happen."
"Are you serious?" Nico asked her. He turned to the camera and asked, "Is she serious?"
"Doctor"
Zora and Chad were quietly watching television when someone suddenly threw a rock at them. The rock attracted little attention from the two of them, but Zora did pick up the rock. She removed the paper wrapped around it and read it. "What does it say, Zora?" Chad asked her.
"'Brace yourself, Cooper,'" Zora read aloud, "'your days are numbered.'"
"Damn it, it's my enemies trying to scare me again! Hey, suckers!" he shouted at the general direction of his enemies. "You can't scare me! I'm Chad Dylan Cooper! CDC is un-scare-able!"
Suddenly, Zora slapped him hard. "What the hell was that for?" Chad shouted at her.
"Fool!" Zora told him. "That wasn't from your enemies! That was from your doctor! You've been diagnosed with cancer. That's why your days are now numbered."
Chad could only look at the camera in embarrassment.
"Receipt"
Sonny and Grady were quietly watching television when someone threw a rock at them. It struck the side of Grady's face, and he moaned in pain as he clutched the stricken part. Sonny took the rock and removed the paper wrapped around it. "There's a message on the paper," she said. "OMG! Maybe someone's trying to scare us!"
"Come on, let me see that," Grady said, still clutching his throbbing face. Sonny handed him the paper, which he smoothed out using his free hand and his elbow. "What's in it?" Sonny asked him.
"It's a receipt for aspirin," Grady replied, showing her the receipt in question.
"Mustache"
Sonny, Tawni, Zora, Nico, Grady, Chad, and Dinka were watching television when someone suddenly threw a rock at them. It struck Dinka in the head before landing in Zora's lap. She removed the paper wrapped around it and read the message written on it. "What does it say, Zora?" Nico asked her.
"'Through those windows I will smash," Zora read, "'the head of the one with the bushy 'stash.' Hey, guys, what does that mean?"
"That can only mean one thing," Nico replied. "Whoever threw that rock must be Hawkeye, for he has struck the right guy!" He guffawed at his own rhyme. "Freaking sharpshooters everywhere nowadays…"
"You got that right, man!" Grady replied. Then, turning to the camera, he said, "Lots of people are throwing stones today, but if you don't want to get stoned, just tune in to… wait for it…"
"So Random!" they all shouted. "See you next time!"