Interlude VI: Vincent

Disclaimer: Not mine and I make no profit.

Vincent Valentine had originally intended to become a Soldier. Surprisingly many of the Turks had.

Turks, favoured by the President and with no one like Sephiroth around to force them to back away yet, took their pick of the best candidates in those days, and Vincent was the best of his year. He had fast reflexes, had learned fast how to use a sword, and had unexpected power considering his lean build, but shooting was where he truly excelled. In his progress files, unofficial and Turks-only, it read: "Shit. I want, that about covers it. V V is the best shot I have ever seen, and I mean ever. I watched him do a special set up with a one-and-half mile target that was moving, and he nailed the quarter spot. He passed the blindfold test on four makes of guns and he was given the guns whole, took them apart, cleaned them, and put them back together without ever seeing them!"

So the Turks demanded that the Soldier program "loose" his files so they could have him. And so Vincent begun his career rather naïve, just like anyone from good social standing, but he got over it soon.

Being a Turk was a job to him, a job that he excelled in, but that was it. He didn't believe in Shin-Ra, and he didn't think he did wrong more than any human; for him it just was like grass was green and the sky was blue. Being partnered with Veld was the best part of it; especially the unwavering acceptance of his less beautiful side that the older man offered.

His father didn't accept it at all. Grimoire Valentine was a pacifist by nature and while he kept in touch with his son, it was always obvious to Vincent that the man wondered what he had done wrong for his son to have turned out like Vincent had. He wanted to defend himself, remind Grimoire that he had intended to become something else entirely, but to defend himself would imply he had done something that needed defending. A cheap solution it might have been, but he decided to just bypass the issue and get along.

His father had for some time talked about introducing him to his lab assistant, but Vincent had only met Lucrecia Crescent after the death of Grimoire Valentine. His father had deemed the woman worth his own life and so Vincent decided to get to know her better, to respect his father's decision, however much lamented. At first, she didn't seem like much, but her intelligence was keen and her eyes so dark, her smile so haunting...

In the small Shin-Ra Mansion they were bound to see each other a lot and even though neither of them was very talkative they eventually became friends.

He fell in love with her 10 am one Sunday morning in an iteration palaver, a mind-numbingly boring meeting where Lucrecia was making paper airplanes from the notes handed to her. She had looked over her shoulder and smiled at him and for that one instant, Vincent felt as if he was understood like never before. From that moment on, she was his to kill for, to die for, and to live for.

It ended badly, of course. He had no idea what caused Lucrecia to reject him like she had, but for Loki's sake couldn't she have found someone saner for rebound? Lucrecia was assaulted by horrifying visions again and again, loosing weight and what little peace of mind she had had; whether they were true visions or not, Hojo had no business experimenting on her, on her child that should have been Vincent's, too. When Vincent went down to the labs, he fully intended to kill Hojo, hide the body, and seduce Lucrecia all over again, but he had wanted answers too. That proved to be his undoing.

When Hojo had created his Limit Breaks, he hadn't as much infused Vincent Valentine with something external as he had given separate shapes to different parts and aspects of himself.

Galian Beast was his id, the most basic, animal part of the human when all conscious awareness and principles were ripped off, the unorganized part of his personality structure that contained the basic drives, focused solely on selfishness and instant self-gratification. He was also the easiest to reign over, the easiest to overcome, and so also the one Vincent later used most often. Death Gigas was himself without his intelligence and restraint, the part of him that could stand displeasure and hold back. It was like a very big and strong three year old, lashing out and taking its frustration out on the world around him, but also easily distracted. For some reason, Vincent was much more disturbed by giving in to Death Gigas than to Galian Beast even though the difference wasn't that great in practice. It made him feel much more violated, somehow, and he wasn't used to not understanding how his mind worked.

But he still would rather use Death Gigas than Hellmasker; the psychotic thug wearing a hockey mask and wielding a chainsaw was in a way hardest to control because it was his bloodlust without his restraint. Some coped with having to kill by coming to enjoy it. His way of coping with being a Turk had been creating a mask persona, one that had let him enjoy the killing without guilt, something that had blocked everything he felt and let him be the killer he had needed to be. That mentality wasn't without problems, of course; sometimes a mask like that could take over and then there would be trouble. Hellmasker was not someone he wanted to unleash upon the unsuspecting Planet.

And then there was Chaos, the one given to him by Lucrecia. Then there was one last kiss and no more.

You think you have it bad? I have been imprisoned in flesh and it will die cell by cell and regenerate to die in bits again the rest of your life. What part of this is not disgusting? Chaos couldn't take over unless he allowed him to, but regaining that control was always very difficult. He only relied on Chaos when he absolutely had to. My words cause you more damage than my actions, don't they? For someone who so prizes himself for self-awareness, you are very apt at lying to yourself. After Lucrecia, he could see no more purpose; he hadn't deserved her and people like him didn't get to keep what they did not deserve for long.

Not before a boy that wasn't really a child had woken him up. Not before the mother of the boy, Verhandi. Some might have thought that she was a replacement; a beautiful, intelligent scientist with a son that wasn't his, but personality-wise she was nothing like Lucrecia and Vincent was grateful for it. He wouldn't even admit it to himself, but for all his undying love he was also full of bitterness.

Verhandi and Cloud he would keep. Come Helheim or high water.

Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin
Dance me through the panic till I'm gathered safely in
Touch me with your naked hand or touch me with your glove
Dance me to the end of love

AN: This has been betaed! Thank you to Quiet N Cryptic.

The lyrics are from Dance Me To The End Of Love by Leonard Cohen. I don't own.