Okay, so really sorry I haven't updated in almost a weak! I got too into this really good book I was reading and got kind of stuck on what to do next. I knew the ending, but not how I kind of wanted to get there. But now I know, so I should be updating more frequently! Hopefully! Also, this chapter is alot shorter you may notice and so the rest will be most likely. The story is in the home stretch now so idk but I felt like making shorter chapters for the structure just so it flows better if you know what I mean. So yeah, I should post another one tonight for sure, so enjoy!
~24~
~September 2010~
Everything seemed to be going according to plan I guess you could say. Edward, Leila, and I were a family. Even though I never stopped, it seemed as though I had fallen back in love with Edward. Our love felt so new and purer than ever before and we had Leila to thank for that. She brought us together, and as we all held hands on our previous trip to the beach, we became one unit.
Leila's cancer continued to get a little worse and they immediately started her on therapy. I was quite hesitant about this decision, as I knew all of the effects this would have on her. She was always sick with diarrhea, a stomach ache, headaches, vomiting, etc. and rarely could ever go to school. I was using too many sick days at work, so I was lucky enough to have Edward to stay with her everyday while Jacob and I worked.
I watched in horror as Leila began to change physically right before our eyes. Her skin became more pallid; hardly any color to it, and all of her muscles seemed too weak to even move. Of course one of the scariest changes I was terrified to see was the loss of all of her beautiful bronze hair from the chemo. It seemed to happen so quickly, and suddenly, we were shopping for cute little hats to put on her naked head and colorful bandanas. Even though her hair was gone, she was still the most beautiful and bright little girl I had ever seen. She seemed more angelic with her albino skin and the only spot of color in her appearance were those beaming green eyes. Out of all things, they remained the same; always full of hope, always full of fire, and always full of love.
The end of September brought with it a slight chill in the air. I sat on the couch in my apartment, nestled on the couch against the side of Edward, underneath a large wool quilt. I pressed my body closer to his chest to absorb more of the heat radiating off of his body. The digital clock on the TV in front of us read 12:37 and both Leila and Jacob were asleep in their bedrooms.
Edward still had his apartment in Manhattan, but he often just stayed at mine all night long and we would curl up together in the silence and darkness, not even speaking, just simply holding on to one another. I craved his presence with me every moment of every day, although we had never made love again since the last time when we were teenagers in high school. We were often times just too distracted over the weakening of Leila's physicality to ever focus on us. We were haunted by too many facts and figures of Leila's disease.
I felt Edward move slightly beneath me and his hand start to stroke my back again, relieving me of all of my pain and worry. He had a way of making me feel better just by his presence and touch and making it seem like everything would be okay. I listened as he cleared his throat before leaning down to my ear to whisper, "Bella, are you still awake?"
I smiled and tilted my face up toward his, to look into his dazzling emerald eyes. "Yes," I whispered back with a smile.
"Oh, sorry if I woke you," he apologized.
"S'okay, I was too distracted to sleep," I whispered. He shook his head in silent laughs and I questioned him curiously, "What?"
"Do you realize what you just said?" he asked amused, still silently laughing.
"No," I said skeptically, "What?"
"You said s'okay. I haven't heard you say that since we were in high school. You used to say it all the time," he said, his pearly white smile illuminating the pitch black room.
"Oh, guess I haven't fully broken the habit yet," I teased him.
"I guess not," he whispered, his face still smiling down on mine.
We sat like that for a few moments, just simply smiling down at each other, amazed at where we finally were; in each other's arms after so long of searching.
I interrupted the silence after images of my teenage years spray painted my memory. I took my eyes away from his smile and mumbled into his chest, "I used to always say that whenever things felt hopeless and dead. It helped me get through it all when I pretended on the outside I guess."
"Like now?" he whispered. I looked up to see the smile vanished from his face and his eyes full of sorrow and worry.
"Yeah," I mumbled and I felt tears start to sting my eyes. "I'm scared Edward."
He put his hand on my cheek and tucked me in closer to his chest, leaning his chin on top of my head. "I know, so am I," he whispered sadly, "But you don't have to pretend you're not. We have each other to make it through this. We're both here to help each other and Leila be strong and make it through this."
I nodded my head and he bent his lips down to kiss the top of it, and there he was, my beam of hope trying to make things okay and seem as if they would get better. I closed my eyes and we sat pressed together as he gently continued to stroke my back, making my feelings of tears and the lump in my throat go away.
I opened my eyes when I heard the silent creak of a bedroom door and the quiet pat of little feet down the hall. I sat up in Edward's arms and looked to the opening of the living room area into the hall and saw Leila come through. Her white skin glowed in the dark and she kept a hand to her mouth. Her eyes sparkled, but they looked different. For the first time since she was diagnosed with leukemia, the energetic sparkle was gone and all they showed was fear.
"What is it honey?" I whispered to her from the couch, fear and worry etched in every corner of my voice. I noticed Edward's body go all tense next to me and heard him catch his breath.
"Mommy," she croaked as she broke into a fit of coughing, removing the hand from her mouth, to splutter crimson red blood everywhere.
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