Well folks, I've enjoyed the ride. I hope you have as well. Thanks so much for all of your comments, PMs, and reviews. I'll keep going with Quil's POV as I can, and of course the lemon (which will be called Heat) when I can. I may include an epilogue here, but I'm not sure if it fits as well as I originally thought.
Again, thanks so much. It's a pleasure to write for such appreciative people.
Alice laughed
Aug 26, 2022
35 days. We're dealing as best as we can with this. Quil has started calling me "jail bait" and so I'm calling him "perp" or "perv" depending on my mood. He better hope Dad doesn't hear him calling me jail bait though. Fiancé or not, Dad would blow a gasket over that.
So anyway, the perp and I have been avoiding being alone together. It's one way to deal I guess. Or if we're alone, we're not really alone because we're out in public. We have to get a handle on this before the wedding. If we don't when the minister tells Quil to kiss the bride all of our guests will get a floor show.
We went to the bakery and picked out cake today. Frankly the way both of us are acting they probably could have stacked up a bunch of Twinkies and we would have gone for it. And it was just us going. Sharon and Brandon left to move in to their apartment yesterday, so I have to get through the rest of this only talking to her on the phone. And it doesn't help knowing that she's already where I'd like to be relationship wise, even if they aren't officially married. And there I go again.
We ended up choosing the specialty of the bakery - of course. If they have a specialty, pick it. It's what they're best at. So we're having a cake that's thin layers of chocolate cake with raspberry cream between the layers. It's like sin on a plate.
Aug 29, 2022
32 days. Sharon is going to come home Labor Day weekend for my bridal shower. I didn't even know I was having a shower. Quil's been living on his own - well, with Embry anyway - for a long time. But Aunt Emily said that half his stuff is not suitable by any means. She said that she's sending Sam over there with a shovel to move Embry out while we have our shower. I feel kind of bad that Embry has to find another place to live, but not really. He doesn't seem that put out about it either. I think he might be moving in with his girlfriend.
So anyway, that's happenings in La Push. We have dresses, minister, cake, suits for the men, and Dad is roasting a pig for the main part of the bonfire. I asked Sam if that would be enough to eat, and he said that he's arranging for a few backups. Dad has no clue how much all of them can put away.
The perp and I are getting a handle on things. Not really, but that's what I keep telling myself. If I say it enough it will come true, right?
Sept 2, 2022
28 days. Yes I am going to start every entry with how many days are left. It's the most prominent thought in my head. Heck, the most prominent thought in my whole body. Hello, my name is Lust, I mean Claire.
And no, it's not getting any easier. It's getting harder. You'd think it would be easier as we get closer to the wedding, but no. No it's not. Not when Quil comes over and we dance around in the living room practicing for our first dance after we're married, and he holds me so close and breathes in my ear. No it doesn't get easier. Not at all. We spend a lot of time walking the limit line.
Sharon is flying in tonight. My shower is tomorrow afternoon at Aunt Emily's house. That should take my mind off things.
Sept 4, 2022
Take my mind off things. Take my mind off things? Ya right. Sure. Take my mind off things indeed.
My own Mother. My own freaking mother. I can't believe it. Do you know what she did? Aunt Em said that she did the same thing to her when she got married to Sam. Let's just say that I won't be calling Quil a perv anymore. That title as been appropriated by my Mom. Yes that's right MOM IS A PERV. Let me tell you what she did.
She gave me a "gift basket." Here I'd spent the last couple of hours playing stupid games and unwrapping things like blenders and waffle irons and she comes out at the end with this "gift basket." And what was in this gift basket? Things were in this gift basket. Things that got worse and worse the farther I got down into this overly large gift basket. On top, a bottle of champagne and 2 glasses. Nice Mom, thanks. That will be fun. Then, chocolate truffles - ooh yummy! I love chocolate. Then, a silky lingerie thing - ok Mom. Walking the line a little there, but ok. And then... Good Lord. Lotion and oil and cream and things that are meant to be eaten. But that's not all. Also included was a BOOK. An ILLUSTRATED book. An illustrated book about SEX. From my MOTHER. Which I received in front of everyone at the shower. And I stopped there. There are more pervy things in that basket that were under the book and I did not even look at. Frankly, I'm a little afraid of what might be lurking at the bottom of that basket because I recently found out that MY MOM IS A PERV!
She and Aunt Em were sitting over there cackling like a couple of hens while I sat there several shades past red. I thought I was going to have a heart attack, or a stroke, or both. Sharon was looking over my shoulder trying to see what else was in there. She wasn't even embarrassed but then she wasn't the one opening it in front of her aunts and cousins. And then... oh God KILL ME NOW. Quil got there. He came to see what we got and take me home, and so he walks in and I have this big basket full of sex sitting right at my feet. I mean, if anyone is having a harder time with this than I am it's him. He's been waiting for this since I was 2 years old - 15, almost 16 years. He just kind of froze there looking at me with his mouth hanging open and he was turning red too. I looked at him and said, "Run Quil," and he didn't need any further encouragement. He was out of there like a bat out of hell running for his life. or his sanity anyway.
And they all started laughing when he did that. Mom was hooting and holding on to her sides like she was going to fall out of her chair. Aunt Sue was fanning herself and trying to catch her breath. I was waiting for the floor to swallow me whole. They really enjoyed themselves a little too much with that. Later they all said they were sorry for laughing so hard. I don't know if I'm ever going to be able to look any of them in the face again.
Sept 6, 2022
In another life I would be starting my senior year today. Instead I slept until 10. Ahhh. 24 days.
Sept 12, 2022
18 days. Things are moving now. Everything is pretty much finalized. I've been over a Quil's a lot this week, putting things away and cleaning. Ugh. You wouldn't believe the state of the place when I started. Not only 2 bachelors, but 2 bachelor werewolves. I'm surprised the place is still standing. You'd think that all the pizza boxes and beer cans were providing structural support. No wonder Quil never wanted to go over there. The few times I was there he must have just shoved everything into his room. And I'm pretty sure they "cleaned up" before I came over there to clean. I shudder to think of what it looked like before they did that.
Quil was all sorts of happy that I was there. It was really sweet. I'd be standing at the sink doing some dishes and he'd come up and move my hair out of the way so he could kiss my neck. Or he'd just come up to me and twirl me around. It was hard to get anything done with him being so goofy sweet. You'll be happy to know that the couch is as thoroughly broken in as the limits allow, after I steam cleaned it anyway.
Sept 16, 2022
14 days. You know, the waiting is actually getting easier. Not really but I'm repressing. I'm trying to not focus on Quil the walking sex on legs, and trying to focus on Quil the man - which is not hard to do because he's so wonderful. I mean, it is hard to do, but it could be worse. We've kind of been over the top jokey lately. I guess it's our way of dealing with the stress. Which is much better than fighting or staying away from each other. We tried both of those options and they didn't work well at all.
Dad heard him calling me jail bait, and he hit the roof. I told him to talk to Mom about the basket of sex. He walked away muttering that he didn't even what to know what I was talking about. Which reminded me that I didn't know what happened to that basket after it made it back here. Quil said that he stashed it in the trunk of his car. I told him that someone has big ideas. Ha!
Aunt Em tried to make us leave her house the other night. She said that we were making her nervous. I said no dice, that it's Sam's fault, and she had to deal with us. We were only playing cards, but Quil kept saying all these suggestive things. He was completely over the top. My face hurt because I was laughing so hard. I think we're a little drunk on unexpressed urges.
Sept 22, 2022
There's not much left to do. Sharon and Brandon are going to get here on the afternoon of the 30th. They're flying in to Port Angeles and we have to go pick them up. We'll pick up the tuxes for the men at the same time. Quil said that we should go on one last double date that night too, just to take our minds off things. The pack is throwing him a bachelor party in a couple of nights. I asked him what they were going to do for that, and he said probably something that involved a lot of beer. I would worry about a stripper or something, but Sam is running the show and I'm pretty sure that he wouldn't go for that - what with his completely insane limits and all. He'd better not. Quil said they're probably going to sit around drinking and pelting him with advice about what he should do for our wedding night. It sounds almost as bad as the basket of sex, but I probably wouldn't have been as embarrassed about that if I'd been swilling beer all afternoon. No, I'd still have been embarrassed, and then I probably would have thrown up.
Sept 27, 2022
Soooo. ya. Brilliant idea that didn't go so well. I guess Quil isn't the only one who's been thinking that we want to avoid giving the crowd a floor show at our wedding and reception. So we decided that we should practice our wedding kiss. You know, keep it more than a peck, but not much more because really that would not be what we wanted to do. So we practiced that, and it went well, and it was a lot of fun.
So then Quil, or should I say The Perp, gets the big idea that we need to practice going slowly so we don't run right through everything on our wedding night in our eagerness to finally be able to get somewhere. Probably would have been ok if we'd been on my couch or in my room where my parents could walk in on us or hear us, but no. We were at his house, soon to be our house. With no one else around. Completely alone. You see where I'm going? I'm sure you do. I'll take frustration for $1000 please.
Not to say that we didn't stretch it out. Really, I don't think we have a problem with that at all. That's how we've had to be going on all this time. You either stretch it out and enjoy, or you run flat out and hit the limit way too soon. So we were sitting on the couch watching a movie on TV. Or pretending to watch a movie anyway. I wasn't really paying attention to it because I was feeling Quil running his fingers through my hair and fighting the urge to climb on to his lap. I asked him if he was trying to seduce me, and he just laughed and said that he could never be as seductive as I was just sitting there. Ha. Right. That's when he said that we should practice for our wedding night, and I about melted because he didn't say it so much as kiss it along my neck.
And I'm supposed to be this big seductress. Sure.
He was tracing his hands along my arms and legs and through my hair - and he knows that's a total weakness of mine. Since he was playing that game I went for the big torture and hiked my leg over his lap so I was sitting there straddling him and I attacked his neck. He just moaned my name and grabbed my hips and I thought he was going to move me off of him but he pulled me closer instead. His hands were cupping my behind and he was guiding me to move and that fire that starts at the base of my stomach started raging again. I told him that his head was going to start hurting and he said that he didn't care. It wasn't so bad as that hot night because we both had on more clothes, but it was worse because we had on more clothes. His hands were sliding up and down my back, and I was kissing him for all I was worth and getting hotter and hotter both inside and out and oh good God I didn't want to stop when he couldn't take it anymore and I had to rip myself off him.
He said that it's not a normal kind of pain in his head, that it's like someone yelling at him and they get louder and louder until it hurts. And I love him so much I hate to think that touching me makes that happen to him. He says that it's worth it. He can hardly stand NOT touching me, that he meant it literally when he said that we won't see the outside of our room for a solid week. And here I'm panting. I want his hands on me and his lips on me and his everything touching every part of me and I'm about to crawl out of my own skin with it. I can't stand it. It's Tuesday. Our wedding is Saturday. Why did we make it at sunset? We have to get through the whole day. God, I can't take it.
Sept 30, 2022
Tomorrow. We're getting ready to leave to go get Sharon and Brandon at the airport. We have every minute between now and tomorrow night planned out so we don't go crazy. I can't believe it's finally here.
Oct 1, 2022
Today. Today is the day I've been waiting for my whole life. Even when I didn't know I was waiting for it, I was waiting for it all the same.
Today I get married. Today is the beginning of my life with Quil. The limits will be lifted, and we can stop wanting so much. Although I don't think I'll ever stop wanting. No. Never stop wanting. We'll just have a direction to go with all that heat.
I can see it in my mind. We'll be there on the beach with the sun setting behind us in pinks and oranges. The only sounds will be the waves and our voices as we say the words that will bind us together, though we're already bound by something much deeper than anyone outside the pack can understand. Quil said that I pull on him like I have my own gravity. Little does he know, he pulls on me the same way.
Our friends and family will surround us and celebrate with us. And then we will slip away to celebrate ourselves. It feels like an ending and a beginning at the same time. It's something that I've been wanting for so long. My chance to live with and love Quil, to bask in his attention and his heat, to be his wife.