AN: Here is the next chapter as promised - I hope to be able to post a chapter at least once a week, now when I have finished a big writing project.
These flashback chapters kind of feel like fillers but they are all building up to somewhere...
Chapter twenty five: Careless actions and whisper of darkness
"I don't wanna go back to my dorm...please...I'm scared...they have lightsabers...and I don't..." Ben whispered as if he was expecting the little knights to be listening in and reached out for the ancient saber which hang over his uncle's desk, with the force.
However, his uncle who suddenly could tell everything he was doing, forcedragged him from the ligthsaber temptation and had him sit next to him on the sofa. "Come here, kid." He put his arm around him. "You are not getting this lightsaber. I can come with you and tell them off. Would that help?" Even though his teacher uncle had become fatherly again, that only made Ben angrier and more desperate, who shook his head.
"No. It would make everything much, much worse...they are going to kill me...I think they are darkside. They even call themselves the little Knights of Ren. Who is this Ren? Only Ren I know of is the one who lives inside of me...and yet they won't let me join...pricks..." Ben crossed his arms over his bag and pouted over the injustice of the world.
KR: I'm not the only Ren in existence.
You aren't?
KR: Ren Ren Ren is Ren Ren's real name...
What in the sith?!
"Watch your language...and it's just a name on a group. They are not darkside, I would know and they are certainly not going to kill you...I wouldn't let them. They are just fooling around, like little kids do," said his uncle and smiled, as if that gave children excuse to do bad things.
KR: Among the knights are Ren Ren, Rin Ren...Ron Rin Ren...Run Ren...Darth Kylo Ren...I hate that guy. He took the Darth name away from me! But even worse, Darth Vader Ren! Can you believe the nerve of that guy! He's my grandfather! So that name belongs to me! Only me! And they even call me Darth Tantrum or worse Darth Toddler! Can you believe it! And since I can't kill them, I have to take my wrath out on control panels which in turn raises Hux's ire who reports me to the supreme leader who...
Why didn't you just forbid them to use those names? Aren't you their master?
KR: They always attack me as one...I mean in workplace pranking. Like daring to steal my helmet or worse grandfather's helmet and hide it somewhere! Sometimes in a dumpster or in Millicent's litter box!
Seriously, aren't you their master? Millicent?
KR: Yes, but master mostly means, me ending up doing all the stupid paperwork and planning! And taking responsibility for everything and reporting to the supreme leader...which means getting punished...and sometimes rewarded, which really just means no punishments.
That sucks...so he doesn't even praise you when you do good?
KR: Come on, he's darkside. Of course he doesn't...except with sarcasm...
I thought he was like a father to you?
KR: Doesn't your father use sarcasm a lot?
Sometimes...but does grandfather praise you when you do something good? If ever...
KR: That's different! Of course he does! He's my grandpappy! Where was I... oh yeah, so you see without me, those idiots knight are nothing! They are so scared of the supreme leader and his guards, that they won't even come near him when he's just a hologram. They never appear before him. Bunch of wusses! Always just hiding in grandfather's castle, my castle!
Yet you still want to return to them...? And who is Millicent?
KR: Well, yeah they are still my buddies. Even though they suck from time to time. They do have their moments...and killing together is so much fun! It's more fun to kill in a group then solo! Though wonder how it is to kill a Solo...I mean...
What?
KR: What...? I didn't say anything...
I'm Solo.
KR: I wasn't talking about you...I mean...
You will leave all Solos out of this or suffer my wrath.
KR: I'm so scared...not! You should be scared of me!
That will never happen...and who is kriffing Millicent?
KR: Hux's cat.
Hux has a cat...?
KR: What do you think?
Erm...
"They are just fooling around..." Ben snorted and his uncle nodded.
"Yes, I know for a fact they are really nice kids, once you to get to know them. Just a bit misguided and bit obsessed with Vader for some reason, like someone..." His uncle tousled his hair and Ben batted his hand away and fixed his hair with a frown.
"I'm not obsessed with him."
I'm more obsessed with Rey...
KR: He wasn't asking about her...and you might be talking about his daughter, you perv. Your cousin or...sister...
Hey, we don't know that! Stop crushing my dream!
KR: I'm a realist...
Luke shook his head over Ben's denial. "Right...try to make friends with them, not through Vader obsession, that's strictly forbidden, try something nice and lightside like your grandfather the chosen one. He was cool..."
"But he lost," pointed Ben out.
KR: And became the coolest! Like us...I mean I did!
You are not the coolest...or well it's not that much competition these days...no Sith left...
KR: Hey! Not cool man! You are just like those knight morons...only grandfather understands me...
"Well, I picked up the pieces after him..." pointed Luke out.
"Grandpa was in pieces...?" asked Ben.
KR: Yebb, thanks to stupid Obi-Wan!
Grandfather kind of turned evil...
KR: Hmm...
He killed children!
KR: Jedi children don't count...and not the sandpeople children either...
He attacked my grandmother!
KR: Who betrayed him by bringing Obi-Wan!
Who was with a child...no children!
KR: Obi-Wan was with a child?
No, grandmother, she was carrying Luke and mom, come on you know that...
KR: Carrying them...in her arms? So they were born back then...?
Urgh!
KR: Hehe. So much fun to tease...
"No...I meant I had to save the galaxy...because he failed in his task." His uncle gently took his hand and led him out the door.
"Oh..." Ben reluctantly followed his lead, with his bag in the other hand.
KR: And I'm going to finish what grandfather started!
By destroying his hard work first...
KR: Shut up...that's not what I'm doing...I think...am I...?
Uncle and nephew walked across the dark hallway, hand in hand, to his Ben's room. Little Ben leaned closer to his uncle since he's afraid of the dark, but mostly because of the harsh wind, rain plus some unidentified sounds, creaks and something Ben had no idea what was, who were way more terrifying in the absence of light. The only light came from the moon outside which shone on them as they walked past the row of windows. Their footsteps echoed through the night.
A lightning struck somewhere close by and the thunderous roar made Ben jump up in fright and lean closer to his uncle.
"Ben, it's okay. You are safe and there is no need to be scared of the little knights of Ren. You are way stronger than them...you just have to learn to control the force. I will help you with that," said his uncle gently, when he saw how jittery Ben was, who was still shivering after the jump-scare.
KR: You are afraid of a lightening...what a loser...
Shut up...but clearly uncle was more focused on protecting me for something fictional in a stupid essay...than an actual...close danger I told him about! No wonder he failed me so spectacularly!
KR: He's a bit dumb...and I'm not scared of those...idiots...or a lightening...except when it comes from...
Who...?
KR: I have already told you whom, stop pretending to be stupid.
Oh...you mean Snoke...
KR: Yeah...
You poor thing.
KR: Shut up, it's your body too you know.
It's just my body!
KR: Whatever...
"They don't want to be my friend." Ben pouted as they kept getting closer to his room.
"And why's that?" asked his uncle softly and slowed their steps so both Ben could easier keep up with him and have a bit more time to talk.
KR: I'm their boss, not a friend...though they don't show me enough respect!
Even though you are Vader's grandson?
KR: That mostly got me the master title...and a lot of work! But still it's cool to be master. The supreme leader holds me in high regards...or well did. He probably wants to torture and kill me now...slowly and in the most painful way!
Then you really shouldn't try to go back...
KR: No, I can still fix this! I just have to get the map to the Last Jedi and...!
And what...?
KR: Hope for the best...
And you call me delusional!
"I don't know..." Ben paused and stopped walking, so his uncle stopped as well. "Maybe because you always call me the chosen one and they are jealous...? I'm also your nephew and surrogate son...and you call me your favorite...the chosen one...have you told them that? They don't have any family...nearby," reminded Ben him and scowled at him for getting him in trouble with the other padawans, especially the knights.
His uncle shook his head and started walking again, dragging Ben along with him. "No, that's only between us...and you are all my children. I wouldn't let any harm come to any of you...and they should know that if they hurt a single hair on you, my precious surrogate son, they will meet my wrath...Jedi wrath I mean. So there is no need to worry, they are just talking big, they are not going to do anything to you. Just ignore them. Can you do that...? Son?" He patted his head.
"I don't know..." Ben looked down dejected.
"Then you have to be strong and figure out the answer yourself...are you sure you don't want me to talk to them?" His uncle's voice suddenly trailed off and he stared in shock at something when they at last had arrived at their destination.
In front of them was a big, wooden menacing door and on it, a big notice with red spidery letters like blood:"Keep out! Only for the little Knights of Ren. Anyone else will be destroyed! Especially you Ben Solo! You suck! We will bathe in your loser Skywalker blood! Darth Vader rules!"
A next to it was a crude drawing of Ben with a big x over him and x in his eyes like he was dead.
"Oh..." His uncle looked between the threatening letter and his little nephew by his side. "Nevermind, you should sleep in my office." He turned back with him, all his resolve from earlier gone.
A bit too late for that...
KR: Sigh, my knights still haven't fixed their awful handwriting...you should see their reports. Ghastly! And their grammar and spelling errors! I can't tell you how many nights I had to stay up just to make their reports readable! So uncivilized...and their drawings...ugh! They really should just stick to audio reports, but no they had to make my job more difficult!
"No!" Shouted Ben which made his uncle stop in his tracks.
"Why not...?"
"You might try to kill me when I'm asleep," muttered Ben.
"What?!" yelled his uncle in shock.
KR: He did try that...
What?
KR: You don't even remember that...?
No..I..erm...when?
KR: When do you think...?
No idea.
KR: And that is why you fail...
Are you talking about that time when he was sleepwalking and mistook me for a wampa?
KR: Maybe...?
Well, after that I made sure to always sleep with my lightsaber next to me...
KR: And one eye open...
He also thought I was a rancor and even Darth Vader like he appeared to him in the cave on Dagobah...
KR: Your uncle clearly needed some therapy...
Yeah...but I'm not sure why he kept thinking I were monsters of his past...but it sure was hurtful...and annoying having to stay on guard when I was trying to sleep!
KR: And then you turned into a monster of his present...me...
Kind of...as a revenge for scaring the crap out of me and keeping me endlessly awake!
KR: Among other things...
"Why would I do that to you, my son?" Luke caressed his cheek and as always Ben batted his head away.
"First of all, I'm not your son." Ben's brown eyes shot fire.
"I know that..."
KR: You hurt his feelings...
Did not. I'm speaking the truth.
KR: That's what you think.
What!
He always had thing for your mother...
I know that...but...stop confusing me!
KR: But it's so much fun...and you need to know the truth!
Stop making things up!
KR: Dude, if I were making things up I wouldn't be wasting my time with the last stupid Jedi but having a picnic with grandfather.
A picnic?
KR: Yeah...family time...and trading stories...about the darkside of course...and the picnic would be on Mustafar, the lava planet in front of his castle, a badass picnic.
Your stupidity never ceases to amaze me...
"And second of all, you said that sometimes you want to kill me." Ben folded his arm with a grimace which, thanks to his small size only made him look cute despite the serious topic.
"It was a joke..." grumbled his uncle in defence, but he looked guilty nevertheless.
"It was not funny." shot Ben back.
"Sorry, you really should..." His uncle nodded his head towards his office.
"No, I don't want to sleep in your office..."
"But you said..." said his uncle surprised. "These guys might kill you."
"Now you believe me..." Ben smirked.
"I'm sorry."
"All I want is the lightsaber, a comm-link...and dad's number." Ben grinned as if he was going to get at last what he wanted. "And then I won't bother you anymore."
To Ben surprise, his uncle dragged him to another door. "Well, you are not sleeping with those lunatics and you are not getting a comm-link or your father's number...and never the lightsaber." His uncle opened up the door and when he saw that the room was empty and nodded happy and pushed Ben inside into the dark space.
"Why?"
"You know why and because you have to go to sleep now. This place is perfectly safe. Good night, sleep tight. Love you son." His uncle pressed a kiss on his head like his father and mother used to do.
KR: Ugh...you know, today he will only kiss you...with a lightsaber...
You are probably right...
KR: Probably?! He hates you now, you know that.
Thanks to you.
KR: I will gladly take the credit for that.
But why does he...keep kriffing calling me...son?
KR: Hmm..he called you Skywalker earlier...
No, he does not mean that by that!
"Stop calling me son! You are not my father." Ben yelled after him from the dark room.
"Surrogate son, nephew, padawan...you are all those things. But most importantly the chosen one. Now get some sleep," replied his uncle without looking back and closed the door to his room with the force.
See...he just meant that...I just forgot the reason, even though I had already said it in the memory...wow I really need to have my head checked out...and please stop confusing me like that!
KR: I'm not the one who is doing the confusing...
Who then...?
KR: You are...
"Wait, I know about another chosen one." Ben slammed open his door and ran after him, still clutching his bag in his hand.
"Ben, it's too late for that discussion. Return to your room at once." His uncle glowered at him.
"I mean it, I know about another chosen one...I mean the real chosen one..." said Ben when he caught up to him.
What the...am I talking about...? Do I mean that?
KR: Perhaps...
"Yeah, yeah I know there is no one who else in the academy who qualifies for that role, except you son. Now hurry back. We will talk in the morning," said his uncle without taking the bait.
"The real chosen one is a girl."
What girl...Rey...?
KR: Now, why would you know about her many years ago...unless of course she is...
SHE NOT MY SISTER!
KR: She could be your cousin...
His uncle turned to him. "Ben, stop this nonsense. Not that girls can't be the chosen ones, but you are the chosen one. You are the grandson of the chosen one."
"But she's the girl you wanted me to write about...in my essay..." Ben picked up the book from his bag, as if he was expecting evidence about her to be written there. He lifted the book dramatically into the moonlight.
Oh, so I just got the idea there...phew...all just a coincidence...
KR: That's what you think...
"She's fiction," said his uncle merciless and from the shocked expression on Ben's face, he could just as well have slashed him with a lightsaber.
"No, she's not!" Shouted Ben red in face. "I feel like I know her...in fact I knows where she is...I really don't think I'm the chosen one...No, I don't want to be the chosen one. That life sucks!" He threw the book and pen at the wall. "AND SHE DOES EXIST YOU LOSER!"
KR: You know, I have started feeling the tiniest bit sorry for your uncle having to deal with your...younger bratty self...
Well, I have a point. That life sucks..sucked!
KR: Well, what did you expect? The chosen one always has to make great sacrifices...for the greater good...
I never asked for that life!
KR: Chosen one...not the one who volunteered to have a shitty life...
You have a point...but Rey had a way shittier life than me.
KR: Which means she must be the chosen one...if there even is a chosen one...
Could be the chosen two...
KR: What...?
It would put a new spin on the chosen one...me and Rey...together...as one!
KR: Yeah...right...and that's creepy...
It's not creepy! I didn't mean that figuratively! Or did I...?
"You are the chosen one and nothing will change that, no matter how much you will whine about it." His uncle picked up the book and pen, put into his bag and handed it back to him. "Goodnight." He proceeded his walk.
KR: But what about after I burned the academy down...he must have changed his mind then...
Definitely...
"You suck!" Ben shouted after him, as his uncle's footstep kept getting farther away.
"Language," scolded his uncle without looking in his direction.
"I'm getting sick." Ben held his stomach.
"You better hurry back then...and go to sleep" replied his uncle without mercy.
"I am sick," stated Ben and keeled over dramatically.
"Ben..." His uncle turned around and looked worried.
"I'm cold." Ben shivered in the dark on the cold floor.
His unce sighed over his dramatics. "Do you want some hot cocoa or something?"
KR: Yes, please.
Ben opened his mouth to say something.
"Well, I'm not giving you anything," His uncle turned away from him.
KR: Mean.
"Yes, you will." Ben jumped at his back. "I can take whatever I want."
"Ben, stop acting like such child!" Luke peeled him off his back and put him in front of him. "You are really asking for a spa...grounding, you know that?"
"Sorry..." Ben hugged him and used to opportunity to steal the comm-link from his pocket.
KR: Woah..brave...
What is mini me thinking?!
KR: Way braver than you..and I can take whatever I want...whenever I want...
"As long as you understand." His uncle patted his head, clueless over the pick pocketing.
"Please, I only want answers...for my most important question." Ben gave him his best puppy eyes.
"And what is that...? It better not involve Vader. I'm warning you...son," said his uncle in warning tone, since Ben has already crossed the line far too many times tonight.
KR: Why didn't you take up on Vader's offer, the coolest dad in the universe and later my granddad, to rule the galaxy alongside him?
That was not my question...I didn't even know about that offer at that time...or that Vader was his father! Not to mention the birth father of my sweet, but tough mother!
KR: You still know nothing...
"No, no Vader. I know better than that..." said Ben innocently.
"That's good. I will only answer one question and then you have to go to bed. Can you promise me that?" asked his uncle softly.
"When will dad be back?"
KR: Pft, that's your most important question?
Well, to ten year old...me.
KR: You look as eager as him.
Well..if dad can come back, that means he did in fact come to bring me home, instead of leaving me on my own and him coming to get me was not a dream, meaning you have been lying to me this whole time!
KR: I never lie...I only tell you what you already know...or think you know...
I thought I knew nothing.
KR: Well technically...and you don't need to know anything...
As always you make zero sense...
KR: Why does it matter so much to you, no matter if did happen, the fact remains that your father failed to bring you home.
Well, at least I would known he had at least tried it...
KR: So pathetic...there is no try...
"Back?" his uncle stiffened for some reason.
"Yeah, to bring me home?" asked Ben with his most innocent expression.
Yes, did he come here or not?
KR: You already know the answer.
No, I don't! That's why I'm asking!
"I've told you again and again, that you have to finish your training first. The answer won't change no matter how often you question me, please stop asking. Return to your new room, stop worrying and go to sleep, this minute." His uncle shook his head and walked into his office. "Always so naughty. Good night." He slammed the office door in his face.
KR: Hey, that wasn't nice!
How come all of these memories happen during the night? Where everyone is telling me to go to sleep or put me to bed? Even my dreamworld had that setting. It's so annoying! I want answers! Did dad come to get me or not!? And give me his number so I can just call him already and ask! Or at least have a shot at returning home...and is the girl, Rey? How come I know about her!?
KR: Don't you get it? You were never supposed to wake up in the first place!
Well, I did and I'm not going back to sleep...no matter how much you will try to hypnotize me...
KR: Oh really?
Really.
KR: We will see...
No, we won't...
KR: We will...when you see the truth of this world...
This world...?
KR: The Last Jedi will give you your answers.
Luke?
Next up: Words of darkness from a certain point of view...