A/N
Omake 1.0
The checkpoint chapter.
Okay, this chapter is gonna be a bit different, where I do extra stuff that would not affect the main storyline at all.
This will mostly be a blooper/ unused gags and ideas, or ideas I hadn't thought of at the time from all the previous chapters, and you guys would probably have to scroll back to jog up your memory on it.
Some things may be... out of control, since I basically have no limitations here what so ever, so, consider yourself warned.
Anyways, here we go!
-Chapter 1-
Bear Grylls would be proud.
The bear then tilted it's head in confusion, and then charged at me anyways.
"Why isn't it working?!" I shouted. "Did Discovery Channel lie to me?!"
The bear then suddenly skidded to a halt, and gave a low growl as 3 red dots appeared on it's skull.
In an instant, I felt something scorch my skin as the bear's head exploded.
"Gah! This stings!" I sulked, holding my shoulder as I got up.
The smell of burnt flesh fills the air.
"Thank you... whoever you are." I said, turning around to... no one.
*Hears clicking noises.*
Wait a minute... 3 dot laser sights... clicking
OH FU-
SLASH
-Shift-
"What?" I asked as I got up to my knees, wiping the blood from my head. Then a high pitched scream of agony could be heard, as someone flailing their hands flew overhead, asking himself what a 'landing strategy' is, followed by a thump of what sounded like a sharp object piercing a tree.
"I'm sorry!" I heard from the trees not too far away. "Wait... Did I miss?!"
"Jaune, watch out for that-"
SLAM
"Tree..."
Well, at least your name isn't George.
-Shift-
"Compactable holographic phones? When was that a thing?" I asked aloud. Then I noticed something familiar about the design, like I've seen it somewhere before...
*Opens phone*
"Snake? Snake?! SNAAAAAAAAAAKE!"
-Shift-
"You had CCTV's planted in the forest?" I asked.
"What's a CCTV?" Ozpin asked as he raised a brow.
"You know, hidden cameras?" I asked, raising a brow of my own.
"Oh," Ozpin coughed into his fist. "That. Uhh..."
"Is there something you would like to tell the students Professor?" I asked, narrowing my eyes. "Like perhaps... where else have you hidden your cameras set up?"
Glynda narrowed her eyes, and fixed her spectacles, then, smacking her crop against the palm of her hand as she glared at Ozpin.
"Yes Professor..." Glynda grit her teeth. "Anything you would like to tell me as well...?"
Ozpin gave her a nervous glance in return.
Somehow the air in the room only intensified as all the men in the crowd were in a major uproar, demanding that they have a spare copy sent to their scrolls.
Poor Ruby was left alone with Louis and Evans in the auditorium, completely clueless as to what would be wrong with having a hidden camera in the room. She just thought it was cool, just like those spy movies she watches! All while Ozpin was washed out by a wave of students (And Glynda).
-Chapter 2-
"Maybe we could even prevent it." I said, then I added. "And being one of the jocks, maybe we can reveal Blake's secret faster then the plot could?"
"You do realize she has 2 pairs of ears and nightvision right?"
Blake's bow twitched in the room.
"Hm?" Yang asked as Blake's face went pale. "What's wrong Blakey?"
"Nothing... it's just that my ears are very... sensitive, and I think I could hear someone trying to take my bow off."
"What's wrong with it? I can do it for you." Yang said with a tease, but her expression turned into a vicious smirk once she saw Blake put her book down and reel back into a corner.
"Nothing!" She immidiately shouted as she reeled back and put both her hands on it.
"Oh, I sense a challenge!" Yang smirked as she pounced on top of Blake.
...
Creak
"Uhh..." I faltered as I opened the door to see Yang pinning Blake down on her bed with her arms on top of the pillows with one hand, all while her other hand crept up to the tip of Blake's bow. "I'm sorry...
I'll come back later..."
"WAIT, LOUIS YOU MISUNDERSTOOD!" Blake shouted as she pushed Yang off her. "IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!"
I thought Bumblebee doesn't happen until Volume 6... I thought as I closed the doors.
Where did I screw up?
-Shift-
"Done!" I said, coming out the door. "You can take your turn now Weiss."
"Did you at least clean up?!" She shrieked from behind the covers.
"What? You wanna help me get cleaned up?" I smirked.
*Weiss takes out Myrtenaster and flash freezes me*
Motherfucker.
-Chapter 3-
I glanced at my scroll, which still had a big crack across the middle, managing to avoid epilepsy as I tried to check for the time.
"11 50.." I muttered as I rolled down my jeans to cover my wound. "Which means I'm just in time for..."
At the cafeteria
"Jaune... Are you okay?" Phyrra asked, getting Jaune to snap out of his daydream.
"Uh yeah! Why?" He asked with a confused expression.
"Is just that you seem a little... Not okay." Ruby said.
"Guys... I'm fine! Seriously look. A..haha..."
He then looked over to the table across, where Team CRDL was bullying a certain rabbit Faunus.
"Please stop." Velvet yelped as Cardin held her up by the ears.
Outside the cafeteria
"Some-" I shouted from outside, kicking the doors down, getting team CRDL to flinch in surprise. "BODY ONCE TOLD ME THE WORLD IS GONNA ROLL ME"
Evans: "I AINT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHEEED"
-Shift-
"That was..." Weiss said.
"Unexpected." Blake finished.
Evans eyes shone at this golden opportunity. He snuck up behind Blake and yanked at her bow.
"Bet ya didn't expect that either did ya Kitty cat?" Evans smirked a cocky grin while he closed his eyes
"Uhh... Evans..." I muttered.
He opened his eyes to see that he was holding onto... nothing as the shadow dissapeared.
"In fact I did saw that coming" Blake said with Gambol Shroud to the back of Evans's neck. "You really didn't think you could sneak up on me that easily did you?"
"B-but how?" Evans asked as he raised both hands up. "You were distracted."
"You fool! I was never there in the first place, it was my shadow clone all this time!"
-Chapter 5-
"Where did you get these?"
"Ozpin's computer duh!"
"You... hacked his computer?"
"Shhh not so loud! Yeah, I hacked it, man that dude has a lot of pictures of himself topless."
"What?!"
"You wouldn't believe the pictures he keeps of himself."
I looked at him to see him trembling while hugging his knees.
"I have seen things." He said.
"Like...?"
*Flashback*
*Clicks on folder WORK*
*Clicks on folder LOTS OF WORK*
*Clicks on folder LEMON PARTY*
Evan's POV
"HAH! It couldn't be the same definition... right?
Right...?"
"Oh... Ozpin..."
"Yes...
...
... Port?"
"Do insert your staff inside..."
"Shhhh, we should wait for Ironwood and Oobleck."
"They'll be joining us in tonight?"
*Elevator door beeps open*
"Sorry we're late." Ironwood said as he adjusted his tie. "I brought a friend."
"Oh, so this is the man you've been talking about." Jaques Schnee said as he looked at the 2 white haired man caught in the act. "He seems to be busy already."
"Oh he could multitask." Ironwood said as he revealed his iron... wood.
"We have room for one more." Ozpin smiled. "Now... let's get started shall we?"
"MY EYES!" Evans screamed.
*Present*
"Hello?
Hello?!
Earth to Evans, you still there?!" I asked, snapping my fingers in front of his face.
I put 2 fingers on his neck.
No pulse...
"Rest in peace my friend..." I muttered, closing his eyes. "You have fought honourably."
-Chapter 12-
"Nope." I grinned as I saw a sillouethe slip under his mech from behind, with Torchwick being too distracted honing his attention on me . "But I got you right where I want you.."
"What?!" He asked as the mech spun around and scanned the area, relieved when he saw the rest of team RWBY still stayed just like Louis commanded them too.
I hope Evans is right, otherwise, I might just haunt him for life.
Evans: "I am directly below... the enemy scrotum."
"Who said that?!" Torchwick's voice echoed throughout the mech.
The mech turned around and...
STOMP
SPLAT
Yeah... it probably wasn't a good idea to notify the enemy that you're currently under it.
Escpecially when its a 40 ton giant mech twice your height.
-Chapter 14-
Evans is alone in that ring, he needs time to set Raging Storm up and Mercury is too fast for that... He's fast enough to stop Ruby from bursting into rose petals...
This match was clearly unbalanced. It's Mercury's victory before it even started.
So if he's gonna do what I think he's gonna do...
...
...
I kept my eye to Evans who 'readied himself' as he stood upright, with both hands behind his sides, digging into his pants and a cocky grin on his face.
"What... is he doing?" Yang asked. "That's not how a brawler should stand... he should be hunched."
"Yeah... " Ruby squinted her eyes.
Those knuckle dusters of his?
They're not his real weapons.
They're just there for show. An accessory, if you will.
His real weapon... Is...
"Ruby, please close your eyes." I muttered.
"But...why?"
*Closes Ruby's eyes with my hands anyways*
"Don't ask, just... trust me on this one."
Mercury then took it upon himself to ask Evans "So... am I gonna start or-"
RRRRIPP
Out of nowhere, the girls started to cheer while Mercury's eyes widened.
"Oh, I'll be the one starting." Evans smirked as he started to pump his bare chest, all while his teasing hands moved down slowly to his pants, showing bits and pieces of his underwear.
"Take them off!" Yang yelled. "DO IT OR I SWEAR I'LL DO IT FOR YOU!"
Blake and Weiss took this as a good time to make it out of the room.
Evans then started to get down and dirty, bucking his hips and twerking his ass, teasing the already hungry women that crowded the stadium.
"Oh my..." Glynda put her hand to her mouth with a small giggle. "Mr Evans... you seem... very fit..."
"MY EYES! STOP PLEASE! I YIELD!" Mercury begged as he tried his best to cover his vision up.
"Oh..." Emerald blushed, reached for her wallet for stolen lien.
As flakes lien bounced back from the forcefield like confetti, Mercury tried to kick his way out to freedom.
"WOOOOOO!" Evans yelled, suddenly ripping off his pants and throwing it on the floor with a deafening smack.
"MORE!" The girls cheered louder, screaming to deafening lengths.
"Why is everybody cheering?" Ruby asked. "What's going on?"
"Trust me..." I yelled over the crowd as I stood up with Ruby. "You don't wanna know."
Please for the love of god, don't go-
Tearing then could be heard from the middle of the ring.
...commando.
Left and right ladies started to faint as Evans spun his meat stick, all while Mercury's yells and begging got lost in the crowd.
"Cinder..." Emerald said over her phone, fanning one hand over her face. "I'm gonna... have to call you back."
"Emerald? What's going o-"
Beep
Emerald then joined the crowd, begging for Glynda Goodwitch to let the force field down to claim their prize.
"LET THEM DOWN!" Yang yelled louder over the others. "LET THE SHIELDS DOWN!"
Blake and Weiss went out long ago, though if I say they didn't spare a glance, I would be lying.
With a smirk, Evans walked over, and picked up a more then uncomfortable Glynda, and carried her bridal style.
"Sorry girls," He said, glancing upwards. "I got my trophy right here."
Really Evans? You're gonna just take it from Please Teacher? I thought as I facepalmed as I escorted Ruby out from the uproar.
"Milf lover" I muttered.
"Did you just say you love milk?" Ruby asked as I finally opened my palms to let her see.
...
"Yes Ruby...
let's go get some." I smiled innocently.
-Chapter 17-
"I have nothing against that." I snorted. "You can be as hard on him as you'd like. I just need to figure out a plan that brings him to us, not us to him, to prevent him from running away again."
"And... do you?"
"As a matter of fact... I do." I said with a wide grin as I looked at Ruby.
"But you're not gonna like it."
The girls all just looked at each other, shifting uneasily as they wondered if they even wanted to know what I had in mind.
...
...
"H-how sure are you that this plan is gonna work?" Ruby stammered.
"One hundred percent." I smirked as I took a picture Ruby (With her default clothes on) on her bed from a high angle. "Now pose nicely..."
"How do you feel about this?" Weiss asked Yang, who kept her eyes closed throughout the whole process.
"I-I'm fine..." Yang lied as she grit her teeth, permanent finger depressions making their way to the wooden chair that Weiss usually sits in.
Lucky for them, they had aura, otherwise, with the strength Yang is going, they might've gotten splinters in their eyes.
Later...
Psycho Smile: "I sense something... off..."
*Elevator door beeps open*
Psycho Smile then walks over to the door and picks up... a body pillow.
"Oh.. My god!" Psycho Smile exclaimed as he snuggled with it. "A RUBY DAIKIMURA! I'm gonna love you-"
Crack
SNAP
"forever and...ever... and..."
Plonk
"How'd you know it would work?" Ruby asked, removing the dart from his neck.
"Oh, he's a sucker for these kinds of things." I snickered. "Serves as a great distraction."
"But why my face on a pillow like that...?"
I just coughed into my fist, and put my headphones on, denying to give her an explaination even as I entered the dorms.
Lucky she doesn't know what that's actually for.
Hehe...
Heh.
-Chapter 20-
"That doesn't mean I don't change!" Neo furiously typed out on her scroll. "I sweat too you know!"
"Alright, alright." Mercury smirked, putting both hands up, and returned to his workout. "Got me there."
His workout was cut short as the alarms started to blare throughout the guest dorms, causing Cinder's eyes to widen.
"What the-" Cinder asked.
"Let's go take a look." Mercury said as he got up, and the trio left, leaving Neo alone.
...
If he's telling the truth... then...
A glint of light caught the corner of her eye as she made her way to the drawer that was right beside her.
This is...
Psycho Smile's scroll.
...
I wonder what's on it? Neo thought as she hacked the password.
Huh... Season 1?
*Plays playlist*
...
...
Later...
"Man, that was quite the warm up." Mercury yawned as he stretched his hands.
"What was he thinking?" Emerald snarled. "Setting the plan off early?"
"Beats me." Mercury shrugged as he reached for the door knob. "But at least the situation is under control. Now we could re-
Neo greeted them by crossing her wrists to her right side, and then threw her hands to her side while she closed her eyes.
"Uhh-"
After a few seconds, she did a pose as she crouched, throwing her hands to the left as if she was holding an invisible big ball there.
"What the..?" Emerald asked, raising her brow.
Neo then puffed up her cheeks, and showed them the scroll.
"You... want us to watch?" Emerald asked as she took the scroll in her hands.
"Uhh... okay...?" Mercury agreed. "I'll go grab the popcorn."
Even Later...
"What a mess..." Cinder muttered as her slender hands reached for the doorknob. "I'll have to think of nefarious plans tommorow... I'm tire-"
"IT'S MORPHING TIME!" Mercury yelled as he crossed his wrists to his left.
"NEO RANGER FOUR GREEN!" Emerald yelled, mimicking Mercury.
Neo did the same thing, except that her mouth opened and closed, with no words coming out.
The door slammed shut, and whatever Cinder was carrying back with her fell on the floor, her mouth opening and closing like a fish.
"WHAT THE DUST IS THIS?!"
-Chapter 22-
"Tai..." Raven drew a sharp breath, and gasped for air.
Tai then spun her around, pushed her, and pinned her to the ground, all while Raven shyly tried to block his vision from seeing her so flustered and meek.
"We... Shouldn't, not here..."
"Why not?"
"This forest is full of Grimm for one."
"It's all the more thrilling, don't you think?" Tai asked.
Raven's gaze snapped back to Tai, to see that Tai had already been stripped of his clothes, showing his solid, chiseled, rock hard abs and the muscular build of a brawler.
"You never gave me an answer." Tai whispered, diving down on her neck once more.
...
"Yes."
"I can't hear you..."
"Squawk."
Tai dropped down face first to the patch of grass as his hands gripped onto feathers.
"Not again..." Tai muttered, dusting himself clear of dirt. "Does this happen often?"
"Caw"
"Does it always have to happen when you're hot and bothered?"
The raven then craned it's neck, and then nuzzled itself on Tai's lap.
"I guess it can't be helped." Tai shrugged as he wrapped the raven with cloth.
A/N
Yeah, really not a good idea to write a story without a certain direction and continuity now is it? xD
Aaaanyways, now you see that I have to go to some... really dark places for gags sometimes. So, these are just some ideas that crossed my mind when writing them. Some mellow, some... weird.
Ah well, see you in the next chapter!