Chapter 25: "Jabberwock Memorial Fields"
Mr. Reed faded into the monochrome plus red landscape. I walked underneath an arch labeled "Jabberwock Memorial Fields." Pretty obvious who put the arch up. None of my friends or acquaintances would think to memorialize the beast.
The sound of the thumping Bibles was getting closer. I knew exactly what to do. I fished around in my velcro pockets and took out one precious pheromone grenade. Cheshire chuckled as I resealed my velcro dress pockets. I held up my blood-and-shit-stained apron in front of Cheshire and asked, "What do I need this for?" I had everything in my dress pockets. No way would I carry anything in the unsealed apron pockets.
Cheshire looked at me. "Pitch it!" he said. The blood stains were bad enough, but the shit on it was still stinking. Off with the apron. I tossed it over my shoulder back toward the arch. Cheshire's ears perked up.
"I think the Bible thumpers are just behind that rise in front of us. Now would be a good time to..."
The first row of Bible thumpers appeared over the rise. The din from the thumping Bibles was deafening. There must have been fifty of them in that first row. I suspected that Mr. Reed's estimate of one thousand of them might be uncomfortably accurate. I curled my pitching arm behind my back to throw the pheromone grenade when Cheshire suddenly interjected.
"Alice, no! You have to be..."
I heaved the pheromone grenade as far as I could into the advancing columns of Bible thumpers. Cheshire's shoulders slumped. He continued.
"...out of sight."
I looked at Cheshire. "What do you mean I have to be out of sight?"
Cheshire leaped up onto my shouders and grabbed my head between his paws turning my head directly toward the Bible thumpers. They had stopped dead in their tracks as the gas from the pheromone grenade spread out all along the ground among them high enough to breathe.
One after another the Bible thumpers popped up erections like those Peruvian dick dolls that so amused the tourists. I noticed that the Bible thumpers were all looking at me quite strangely. I turned to Cheshire.
"Puss, why are those Bible thumpers all looking at me like that? Aren't they all supposed to be humping each other right now?"
Cheshire let out an enormous sigh - the kind of sigh that he always let out when I had just done something stupid.
"You're supposed to throw the pheromone grenade from an out-of-sight location. The intended male victims will only hump each other if there are no females in sight. There is a female in sight. There is only one female in sight."
I looked at all those freshly popped erections.
"Ohhhhhhhh, fuck!"
Cheshire eyed me with an air of pity.
"If a thousand Bible thumpers were about to dart up my dress, I'd run!"
Cheshire faded into the air leaving me to figure out what to do next. An epiphany hit me all at once. I fished out my metal shroom box and picked out two dark orange mushroom heads and tossed them into my mouth without chewing or swallowing. I took out a vibrator powerup, flipped the switch on, and jammed it down my panties into the proper position, and then grabbed my spinning top. Desperation and ice-cold sweat are the mother of inspiration. I sealed my velcro pockets and quickly as possible stripped off all of my clothes. The vibrator powerup ran out of battery power in seconds, and I yanked it out. The Bible thumpers were only about thirty feet in front of me. Showtime.
I chomped down on the two dark orange mushroom heads, chewed, and swallowed. I braced my back and vibrator-strengthened legs for the horrific jolt that I knew was coming. I felt light-headed and dizzy to the point of passing out. I felt a sudden yank on my chest as if someone had just attached two cannon balls to my breasts with very short chains and then dropped the cannon balls. I looked down and saw that my breasts were rapidly filling with a thick, heavy liquid. They slid farther and farther down my chest and grew continuously straight outward projecting more and more. My breasts reached my waist and seemed to float two feet out in front of me. The Bible thumpers stared fascinated, but continued to advance slowly. The volume of the undersides of my breasts was massive and continued growing. The pull on my shoulders was staggering. My breasts continued to slide downwards and grow outwards even farther. With one dark orange mushroom, my breasts stopped at my knees, but my breasts continued to fill and hit the ground. The advancing Bible thumpers stopped dead in their tracks with their mouths hanging open. My breasts continued to project farther and farther and stopped at perhaps seven feet. They continued to fill and raised up to about my waist. They sloshed back and forth like the waves in a backyard kiddie pool. Without the vibrator powerup, I think I would have been unable to move. I tossed my spinning top, turned around laboriously dragging my two enormous mounds of wobbling jelly, and backed into the miniature whirlwind of the spinning top.
The whirlwind snatched me immediately and whirled me at dizzying speed. The first few seconds were quite painful as it took a few seconds for my enormously heavy boobs to take flight. After that, my boobs sent the Bible Thumpers flying in all directions like pond frogs in a tornado. The mini-whirlwind lasted about thirty seconds.
After landing, I took a look around me and saw that I had cleared out about one-third of the Bible thumpers. I raised my hand and retrieved my spinning top. I love telekinesis! Time for round 2. I threw my spinning top over my shoulder and backed into the whirlwind. My legs still had some extra strength from the vibrator powerup. Boob-whoppin' time! Mr. Reed faded into view strumming his guitar in the middle of the battlefield.
Would you like to fly on Alice's beautiful balloons?
Would you like to die on Alice's beautiful balloons?
You can sail among the stars together all you clots
And you can die! All you simpering sots!
Up, up, and away!
On Alice's great big mutant balloons!
The world's a nicer place without you Bible-thumping loons.
It wears a nicer face without you ignorant buffoons.
I can sing a song and watch you sail along the sky
And watch you die!
Up, up, and away!
Be gone you loons I say!
By the time Mr. Reed had finished his strumming, I had completed round 3 with the Bible thumpers and had completely cleared the battlefield. My vibrator powerup still hadn't worn off completely. Cheshire, who I had once thought a coward, reappeared with a mouthful of Bible thumper clothes. He was grinning from ear-to-ear. A bigger grin than usual. He spat out the shredded clothes.
"I do say, Alice, that was a jolly good show! It was raining Bible thumpers for a solid minute! I had to keep one eyeball on the sky for danger of getting crushed by a falling thumper. I got about a dozen stragglers, myself. None left, I assure you."
Cheshire eyed me there all but immobilized by my boobs. He couldn't resist the temptation.
"That does look like a very comfy perch to curl up on!"
Cheshire leaped and landed right on the cleavage under my chin. He curled up and began to purr. And began to sink. Cheshire's eyeballs bugged out like an astronaut whose suit had just burst open on an alien planet. I grabbed the poor cat by the front paws just as he was about to disappear down the black crevice of my mutant cleavage.
"That was dumb, Cheshire. Never leap onto fat cleavage. You can disappear in it."
I held my breath, kneeled, and crawled backwards a bit so that I could reach my velcro dress pockets. My face was buried in boobage. I felt around and grabbed the little metal box with the mushrooms. It was a bit of a struggle, but I stood up again. I brought the metal box around with one hand and brought the other hand around to open it. Mr. Reed walked by to help me.
"Don't hold that metal box over your cleavage. You almost lost your cat down there. Be a bit of a problem if you dropped your box down in there." Mr. Reed opened the box and looked at the contents. "What do you need?"
"Two whole light-orange mushrooms."
Mr. Reed placed the mushrooms in my right hand and advised me to be careful handling them.
"Cross your fingers, Alice," said Cheshire. "No one has ever swallowed two of the dark orange mushrooms at the same time."
I put the two light-orange mushrooms in my mouth, chewed, and swallowed. A pleasant lightening of burden seemed to be occurring, but it was slow and gradual. My breasts deflated as if liquid were leaking out at a steady rate, but it was not a quick process. Several times the deflation seemed to halt altogether. Finally the deflation halted when my breasts hung down to my elbows and seemed to float maybe eight inches in front of me. At least they didn't pull on my shoulders.
"If you're stuck with them, at least they look nice," said Mr. Reed as he faded away with a Cheshire-like grin on his face.
"Maybe the rest will go away in a day or two," said Cheshire.
I sure hoped so. My breasts were still a size that would constantly be in the way if I were stuck with them. I walked over to where my clothes were, breasts swaying and wobbling all the way. I knew the bra wouldn't fit. My granny panties did fit, thankfully. My dress just barely pulled down over my bust. Fortunately the cloth was quite sturdy.
My breasts returned to original size by the next morning giving me a new appreciation for normal-sized breasts. When it comes to boobs, big is not as wonderful as most girls might think.
End of Chapter 25
This chapter is based on the characters created by American McGee. EA (Electronic Arts) owns the copyrights. "Up, Up, and Away" was written by Jimmy L. Webb. Lyric alterations by Nikki Little.