You guys are absolutely the best! I loved hearing from you. I'm glad that you enjoyed Rex and Amanda's POVs, they were, by far, the most requested from my readers. Thank you for all your reviews, faves, and alerts. Jasper will come take down your Christmas lights for you, but you do so at your own risk.
This chapter contains sex, lust projection, a discussion about warm apple pie, and a vampire who thinks he can, but really can't.
This story is AU/OOC
All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended.
Mature readers 18+only please.
Bella's POV
"Jasper, don't you think you're overdoing it with the Christmas lights?" I yelled up to my mate. "Our house looks like a fucking airport landing strip."
"Babe, this is fun. Who knew these lights would be so easy to put up?"
Jasper had gone absolutely over the deep end with the Christmas decorations. Our house looked like the North Pole on anabolic steroids.
Jasper, why are you putting lights up across the roof?"
"I just want our house to stand out. Besides, it'll make it easier for Santa to see."
"Yeah sure, he and the reindeer will probably be blinded by the lights and crash the sleigh straight into our house." I said sarcastically. "You'll ruin Christmas for all the kids."
"Yeah, but at least he won't miss our house." Jasper jumped off the roof and kissed me. "Come on, let's go."
"To where?" I asked.
"Target—I need more lights and I want to grab that giant blow up snowman for the front yard. Besides, we still have to pick up presents for everyone."
I rolled my eyes and hopped into my new truck, resigned. Christmas was on Saturday and with finals, neither of us had been able to do much shopping.
"Which Target are you driving to Jasper?" I asked.
"South Bay Plaza—it's close and there's a Marshalls and a Home Depot too." He said.
"Why do we need to go to Home Depot?"
"Oh, um...we need a new window." Jasper said nonchalantly.
"A new window? Why? The previous owners installed new windows before we moved in." I pointed out.
"Yeah, I know that Bella. I might have put too much power behind the hammer when I was hanging up the lights by our bedroom window. I kind of took out the window plus the sill and the jamb."
I must have had an exasperated look on my face because, next thing you know, Jasper said, "Aw, don't look at me like that, babe. We just have to put a new window up. It'll be a piece of cake." He snapped his fingers.
"Uh-huh." I said doubtfully. The last time Jasper tried to repair something it ended up costing us a contractor and plumber who were both too willing to install a new bathroom for us. We had destroyed some of the tiles during a wild session of shower sex. My mate insisted that he'd have no problems putting in new tiles. After a quick trip to Home Depot, he got straight to work and an hour later the tiles were in on that side of the wall, but the entire plumbing was dismantled and there was water spurting everywhere. "I was just making a minor adjustment." He had said.
Jasper quickly grabbed more lights at Target and then we hit Marshalls for some gifts. "Jasper, I think we're going to have to go to somewhere else. I don't think we can find presents for everyone here." I said.
"How about we go tomorrow? It'll be Monday morning so it'll be less crowded and easier to shop."
"Sounds good."
We got to Home Depot and the kind associate showed us all the different windows they had. Jasper explained the damage and he advised we use their window installation services because it wasn't as easy a job as it seemed.
"Jasper, maybe we should take his advice and have them do it. It seems like a huge job. They can be at our house tomorrow." I suggested.
"Nah, I've got this. We don't need to spend a hundred bucks on their installation services. The guy's just giving you a sales pitch anyway." My husband insisted. "I'll just slap it in today, we won't have to wait until tomorrow."
"Are you sure you can handle this?" I asked.
"Windows haven't changed that much since I was a kid. I had to help my Daddy put one in once when I was seven because I took the window out with a rock."
"Jasper, please!" I begged.
"Don't worry about it babe. Really, I can do this."
Two hours later...
"Bella!" I heard my mate yelling for me.
"What is it?" I gasped and covered my mouth as I came upon the gaping hole on the side of the house. "What the fuck happened?"
"I think the jerk at Home Depot sold us the wrong size window."
"Jasper, that opening wasn't that big when you started." I ran both hands through my hair in complete shock at the sight that beheld my eyes.
"It's just a little bigger. All I made was a minor adjustment. The original contractor obviously had no idea how to cut in a straight line."
Jasper, I can walk through that opening. Scratch that—you, Emmett, and Garrett can walk through that hole side by side. Probably even Peter and Rex too."
"It's not a hole Bella, it's an opening for a window frame."
"Jasper, that opening can fit a door. Double doors. Triple doors even." I said.
"Well, I thought it might be nice for us to have another way to get into the bedroom." He said.
"Jasper, our bedroom is on the second floor."
"So, we're vampires." He shrugged.
"I'll call the contractor." I sighed.
"That's a good idea, baby, I could use some help installing the doors."
I called the contractor who eagerly agreed to show up first thing in the morning, especially after hearing our last name and address. He was undoubtedly recalling the new bathroom he installed three weeks ago. We boarded up the side of the house with plywood, then headed for Amherst to visit the family.
One hour later...
"What the hell is going on with the traffic? We should have been there by now. Hey, fucker, did I say you can cut in front of me!" Jasper unceremoniously flipped the bird to the driver in front of him.
"Jasper, it's a sweet old lady. She probably didn't mean to..." I paused. "Did she just give you the finger? Okay, maybe she's not so sweet after all."
"This is ridiculous. It's Sunday afternoon. The traffic shouldn't be this bad. We're barely moving." Jasper complained.
"Yeah, but it's the Sunday before Christmas. People are trying to get their shopping in before the snow comes tomorrow."
"Fuck!" Jasper yelled out.
"Now what?" I asked.
"The gas light just went on. We have to get off the highway." He said.
"Oops, my fault. I forgot to gas it up yesterday." I said.
"Don't worry about it. I'm gonna get off in Burlington, gas up, and then we're gonna wait out the traffic at the mall there. I'm not driving in this bullshit."
I unbuckled my seat belt and climbed onto Jasper's lap to give him a hug. "You've had a bad day, haven't you?"
"Yeah, I couldn't finish the lights, made a mess of the window, and now we're caught in a traffic nightmare. At least I was able to put the blow-up snowman in the front yard." Jasper sighed. "Thanks for the hug, babe."
"Anytime. You know, we all have bad days. It'll get better. I think you're right about waiting this out. There's probably an accident up ahead or something—this is pretty bad traffic even for a Sunday before Christmas."
After gassing up the truck, Jasper pulled into the parking lot at The Burlington Mall. It was a mob scene inside. People were rushing from store to store trying to pick up Christmas gifts. "I think we should do iTunes cards as stocking stuffers. Oh, and I found out that Eleazar doesn't have an iPod because he doesn't know how to use one." Jasper said. "I thought maybe we should pick one up for Amanda too—she likes to sing and dance to music."
"Well, that's two gifts down. We might as well pick them up at the Apple Store since we're here anyway. I have most of the girls all taken care of—I have Char and Tanya left. Short of finding live Marines, I've no idea what to get them." I chuckled. "I don't have any gifts for the guys—they're more complicated."
"We'll figure it out. We have five shopping days left after today. Let's go grab the stuff at Apple then see if the traffic's died down any."
"Oh and can we see if the toy store here has any lightsabers. I'm trying to keep a supply of them on hand for Peter and Amanda." I said. "I've already bought out the lightsabers at most of the stores near us. Do you think they'll ever get sick of role playing?"
"Nah, Peter actually thinks that he is Yoda and Amanda his young padawan. Speaking of Amanda, you're going to have to have the sex talk with her soon. I can feel her lust spike whenever she's around Edward as well as a boatload of confusion."
"I have no idea what I'm going to say to her. I touched upon the idea of sex when I explained to her that she and Edward are not only mated, but married too. I definitely don't want Char and Tanya explaining things to her or she'll jump on Edward before she's ready. Rosie will scare her off of men for life. I'm not so sure how she feels about the others so," I looked at Jasper expectantly, "that leaves you."
"Me? I'm not having the sex talk with Amanda."
"No, I'm going to have the sex talk with her. You're going to be there for moral support—my moral support.
"Shouldn't this stuff be between a mother and her child?" Jasper asked chuckling. I pouted at him. "Oh, okay, we'll take her hunting and explain things to her, but only if you take those pouty lips and show me what you can do with him."
Freaking lust inducing vampire. Now, I'm walking through the mall horny as hell. Not good. Not good at all. "Bella—you're making me horny. I can feel your lust."
"I can't help it Jasper, sometimes I get turned on just by you talking. I..."
I couldn't finish what I was going to say because Jasper grabbed my hand and pulled me into Victoria's Secret. He randomly grabbed a whole bunch of lingerie, thrust them into my arms, and said to the sales lady, "Excuse me, my wife needs to try these on."
"Of course, let me set you up in a fitting room." She led me to a fitting room and opened the door for me. "Let me know if there's anything I can do to help. I'll be out on the floor. It's Christmas season and there are a lot of confused men."
As soon as she left, Jasper knocked and asked to be let in. I opened the door to his pitch black eyes. "Take your clothes off, Bella." He commanded. I was out of my jeans and sweater in an instant. Jasper took in my form for a second before pulling me into a lust fueled kiss. His hands were roaming my body in an instant and I couldn't help, but gasp when his tongue hit my nipple.
"Shh...babe, I want you to stay absolutely silent. There are women trying stuff on in the fitting rooms next to us. No talking, no moaning, no breathing even—just feel." He whispered.
Now how the hell am I supposed to do that? I'm putty in my mate's hands, he can make me scream his name over and over again in a single night. He undid his jeans picked me up and entered my sopping, wet pussy. I wanted to scream in ecstasy as he plunged himself in and out of me. I couldn't help, but let a little moan escape me—he smacked my ass and told me to be silent. I decided to listen to his previous words and just let myself feel him.
As I wrapped my legs around him, I noticed the mirrors surrounding the fitting room—we were both transfixed at the sight of our lovemaking. I let myself succumb to my mate's steady ministrations. I could feel every ridge of his cock hitting my walls as he pounded himself in and out of me. I wanted to gasp. I wanted to moan, but I couldn't. I had to control myself. He sent me wave after wave of lust, causing me to try and push myself down deeper onto his cock so I could feel every bit of him inside of me.
I whimpered as I felt a wet finger enter my virgin hole. "Shh...Bella...just feel me—let me just feel you." He whispered. I let myself enjoy the feeling of him filling both holes—one with his magnificent cock and the other with his finger. It was a feeling like no other and my body was in an erotic frenzy. I was nearing my peak and I could tell that he was too. I wanted to scream, I wanted to shout his name out loud, but I couldn't so I just let myself feel the pleasure. Just as my walls were about to clamp down on him, Jasper urged, "Mark me, Bella. Bite me now!"
I sunk my teeth deep into his neck, unable to resist the urge. The view in the mirror was nothing like I'd witnessed before. In one moment, I was in ecstasy from biting my mate during my orgasm, then agony from him marking me with his release. It was a good pain though. I felt my mate sealing my wound with his venom. I did the same for him. He sat on the bench in the fitting room cuddling me on his lap, whispering his words of love to me, kissing me, simply loving me.
Seconds later, our moment of togetherness was interrupted when we heard a few women in the adjacent dressing rooms screaming out in ecstasy. "Jasper, I think you were projecting." I said as I got dressed.
"Yeah, I know I was. I wanted to feel you, every part of you. The feeling was overwhelming. I couldn't help myself." He admitted. "Um, Bella, how am I gonna get out of here? I can smell the saleslady roaming the fitting room hallway."
"Is everything okay in there?" The saleslady asked—no doubt concerned about the sudden ecstatic cries of the climaxing human women. Several women could be heard responding to her that everything was just fine. We heard one woman saying, "It was fabulous! Absolutely intense! I feel so much more relaxed now!"
Jasper and I just stared at each other. He suddenly got a smug expression on his face and said, "Damn! I love being an all powerful empath sometimes!" I rolled my eyes at him.
"Okay, I have an idea on how to get out of here, but I'm not sure what you'll think of it." I whispered my plan into his ear.
"I'm not doing that Bella." Jasper protested. "I've got my pride."
"Well, do you have a better idea?"
"Yeah, you go first, then I'll follow in a couple of minutes. If the saleslady is still there, then I'll go with your plan."
I quickly left the dressing room telling the saleslady that I didn't care how any of the items looked on me. After our trip to Las Vegas, I had enough lingerie to last me for years courtesy of my overzealous husband, so there was no way I was going to purchase anything that I didn't need. I noticed the saleslady didn't budge, apparently she'd been told by her supervisor to man the fitting rooms due to the sudden cries of ecstasy heard throughout the store. One by one, women would leave the fitting rooms, some with flustered looks on their faces, others with perma-grins plastered on their faces. Looking around the store, I noticed the shoppers and employees all looked like they had had the orgasm of their lives. One male shopper was zipping his pants back up while another had a huge wet spot in the front of his pants. There was a woman fanning her face constantly. Oh my God! My mate's projection of lust spanned the entire store.
"Jasper! She's not leaving. She's been told to watch the fitting rooms because of everyone suddenly going into heat." I whispered so only my mate could hear.
"Shit! Alright, I'm coming out." Jasper casually walked out of the dressing room and handed a bra and panty set to the shocked saleslady. "Um...they didn't fit right."
We left the saleslady standing there with her eyes bulging and her mouth agape, then walked out of Victoria's Secret, hand in hand, to our truck. We arrived in Amherst an hour later.
Cullen Residence
Amherst, New Hampshire
"Belly Mama!" Amanda jumped up into my arms as soon as I walked in through the door. She then jumped from my arms into Jasper's and squealed, "Little Major!" She was clearly excited to see us. "Guess what?"
"What?" We both asked curiously.
"We had a toga party last night then Esme spanked Edward Mate with her riding crop because he destroyed the dining table from jumping on it. I tried to explain that destroying furniture is part of what happens at a toga party, but she didn't want to listen to me. I don't like Esme. She's too scary and she's always nagging." Amanda shivered as she spoke about her.
Toga party? Oh, I need to know how that fuckery came about. "So, how did you come to have a toga party?"
"Edward Mate wanted to kiss me and play with me and Petey Papa said no because he was drunk and that would be taking advantage of me. Then, he said he wanted to hang out with your fuckbuddy Tommy so they could go find a toga party. I knew what toga parties were so I grabbed a sheet for him and me and we all ended up having one here. Well, everyone except for the parents—they didn't seem to approve. Why are parents so uncool?"
"Well, they're only uncool sometimes. They're trying to enforce some boundaries." I tried explaining.
"Yeah, but they seem to have a lot of boundaries. They just don't understand what it's like to be a teenager." Amanda then looked at me thoughtfully. "I decided what I'm going to do in the future."
"Oh good, what are you going to do?"
"I'm going to high school and becoming a cheerleader. Then I'm going to college and joining a sorority. I want to go to the biggest party school in the United States which for 2010 is the University of Georgia—according to the Princeton Review. It might change next year though."
Jasper and I turned to look at each other. "Um, those are great things to strive for, Amanda. Georgia's a bit sunny for vampires though—you might want to rethink the location." My husband said. "What made you decide on those goals?"
"Oh, well, in the movies, cheerleaders seem to have the most fun and so do sorority girls. Did you see how much fun that girl in 'Legally Blonde' had? She was in a sorority. Can we make my hair blonde? Blondes have more fun. Char and Tanya have a lot of fun."
"Okay, Amanda, 'Legally Blonde' is a movie. It's fictional, not real. Second, the amount of fun a person has is not dependent on hair color." I explained. "I don't have blonde hair, but I have a lot of fun."
"Yes, but Char and Tanya explained that you know how to summon your inner blonde." Great. That's all I needed. Char and Tanya inflicting their brand of logic on Amanda. They're both completely out of touch with reality, for God's sake. Last week, before their final, they put on a bdsm strip show for their biology professor in an attempt to boost their grades. The professor didn't appreciate their actions at all, reported them to the administration, and they were both put on disciplinary probation much to the displeasure of both Carlisle and Eleazar.
"Amanda, you have a great personality, having blonde hair isn't going to make a difference." I said.
"Trust me, it will. My hair is beige. It's ugly. At least your hair is a really pretty chocolate brown. I wish I could go to a hair salon and have them make me over like in the movies." Where the fuck is she learning these shades of hair color? All I see when I look at my hair in the mirror is brown.
"If it'll make you feel better, I'll color your hair for you." I offered. I'm going to need Rose to help me on this—makeovers aren't my forte at all. I'm more the run out of the house with her hair wet and no make-up on type. During finals week, I showed up to class in my pajama pants and a big sweatshirt, more often than not. So, no, I definitely wasn't qualified to do a makeover.
"Yay! I get to color my hair! Can you pick up Garnier Nutrisse shade number 93? It's called Honey Butter. Oh and I don't want the Psycho Bitch ever touching me again. In my wedding picture, I look like a circus clown with bright blue eye shadow and orange lipstick. That went out in the seventies. Oh and how come I'm wearing a Halloween costume?"
I nudged Jasper. There was no way I was broaching that topic with her. Jasper nudged me back. Fortunately, Rose walked into the house at that moment. "You were dressed like that because Psycho Bitch saw in a vision that you'd be happy in that monstrosity." She said. "Belly Mama didn't know you then, plus I told you, human Amanda was a frigid bitch so I didn't bother with helping you pick a better gown."
"Got it, Miss America." Amanda said. "I'm not a bitch anymore, am I?"
"No darlin', Rose is the only bitch in the house, but she's a sweet bitch." Jasper answered. Rose just rolled her eyes and made her way upstairs.
"Where is everyone? How come you're the only one in the living room?" I asked.
"As soon as he heard you pull up, Petey Papa sent me downstairs. He's fucking Super Tatas and Sweet Poonani at the same time right now. How does that work anyway? Does Petey Papa have two penises? Edward Mate and Emmy are out shopping for Christmas presents. Vicky, Riley, Carlisle, Esme, and Laurent are still at work. Irina is in Maine at the outlets with Katie."
Geez! Let's just abandon poor Amanda all at once. I can't believe Pete told Amanda that he was going to do Char and Tanya at the same time! He should just keep his kinky fetishes to himself.
"How about we go for a hunt?" I suggested.
"Oh, goody! I can't wait to get out of the house. I feel so trapped."
Amanda, Jasper, and I ran through the woods until we came upon a herd of deer. We let Amanda go first because she still needed to feed a lot more than the norm. Jasper let me cut down my hunts to once every two days because I simply didn't seem to need to feed as much. He was still wary of letting me reduce my feedings by more days because I was still a newborn by vampire standards. Watching Amanda, it was hard to believe that we shared the same vampire birthday.
Amanda quickly took down three deer. She stopped making a mess and was more in control of her hunts these days. Jasper said that after the start of the new year, we'd begin testing her resistance to human blood by exposing her to small amounts.
"Bella, you need to hunt." Jasper said after he finished his hunt. It was a direct order not a request. I sighed and grabbed hold of the nearest deer and drained it. "One more, baby, it's been almost three days."
I did as I was told because he was probably right. Having no bloodlust, I couldn't tell whether I was thirsty or not. I guess Riley has the same problem. He has to pencil in his hunts on his calendar once a week or he forgets to go. I think I might have to start doing the same thing.
Amanda looked a little forlorn so I walked over and put my arm around her. "What's the matter, Amanda?"
"Nothing really. It's just that Edward Mate was really weird last night. He came home all stinky with alcohol and then he French kissed me. It was wet and sloppy and kind of gross. After that, he said he wanted to play with me. I know he's my husband and we should have sex, but it doesn't feel right. Shouldn't he ask me to the prom or something first?"
Holy shit. I wasn't expecting that at all. I knew she had an idea of what husbands and wives do, but I didn't think she was fully aware of sex. Oh, who am I kidding? I'm completely unqualified to have this conversation. How the hell am I supposed to explain sex and what does the prom have anything to do with it?
"Amanda, um...what...how...s...ex?" I managed to get out. She looked at me with a confused expression.
Jasper stepped in. "What Belly Mama is trying to say is how do...um...sex...what...prom?" Oh sure, that helped.
"I don't get it." Amanda had a perplexed expression on her face.
Jasper tried again, first clearing his throat unnecessarily. "Amanda, when a man and a woman fall in love. Sometimes they take their relationship to the next level. They like to show how much they love each other by expressing it with their bodies. We call that intercourse. When a man and a woman have intercourse, the man inserts his p..." God damn! He sounds like a fucking PBS special.
"Stop! Please stop, Little Major. I know what sex is. I googled it. Besides, it's hard not to know what sex is living in the house that I do." Amanda blurted out.
"Maybe, it would be best if you asked us questions instead." Jasper suggested wisely.
"Okay, I know all about sex and the whole penis and vagina thing. I know that Edward Mate and I are married and the pain in my chest is the mating pull. The problem is that I want to have sex with him, just not now. I want to get to know him a little better." Amanda stated. "The problem is that last night, I think he really wanted to do it, and it made me feel bad that I didn't want to."
"Well you should never do it unless you really want to." I said.
"Yeah, but Super Tatas and Sweet Punani said I should just do it and get it over with because it feels good, but I don't want to. I don't even know Edward Mate that well." Amanda said.
"Good point." Jasper said. "I'll talk to Tits and Pussy for you—they shouldn't be pressuring you at all. This is a decision that you and your mate have to make together."
"That's the problem, I can't talk to Edward Mate like I can talk to you, Belly Mama, and Petey Papa. He's so...I don't know—old."
We both started laughing after hearing that. "Yeah, Edward is pretty old—well, some of his views are anyway." I paused and took a deep breath before speaking again. "I think the point that Jasper and I are trying to make is that you shouldn't have sex unless you're absolutely ready. It doesn't matter how ready Edward is, unless you're ready—it's not going to very pleasant."
"Okay, I have another problem." Amanda offered up. "I don't think Edward Mate is my type of guy. I prefer someone that looks like that guy in High School Musical or the guy who show's up after the wedding in a Porsche in Sixteen Candles. The other thing is, he dresses really weird—he wears clothes like those boys who like boys in the movies."
"Again, Amanda, those are movies—those characters are fictional, they're not real. Edward's not bad looking, is he?" I asked. I wasn't sure how to address Edward's wardrobe, I suspected the Pixie Bitch's influence was to blame there.
"Well, he's not as good looking as your fuckbuddy Tommy. I saw a picture of him dancing on the bar with Rex and Edward on Char's iPhone. He's really hot. Why are you with Little Major?"
I chuckled after hearing that. "Yes, Tommy's pretty hot, but I'm with Little Major because I love him—that makes him all the more hotter in my eyes. Besides, Jasper can hold his own, unless you give him power tools."
Jasper was clutching his stomach, laughing. Amanda's views were skewed because she couldn't distinguish between movie fiction and real life.
"How do you know what a fuckbuddy is anyway?" Jasper asked Amanda.
"Oh, they have fuckbuddies in movies."
"Which movies?" Jasper prompted.
"Oh, I saw it in Van Wilder and Stifler's mom has one in American Pie. I forget if they have them in Animal House, but oh...I wasn't supposed to say anything about seeing those movies! You won't say anything to Petey Papa, will you?"
"Not a word, sweetheart." Jasper assured. I didn't promise her jack shit though. What the fuck was Pete thinking? No wonder, Amanda was completely confused about sex.
"Belly Mama?"
"Yep?" I acknowledged.
"Do you think Edward Mate will ask me to the prom? I really want to go to one."
"Why all this focus on the prom?" I asked her.
"Well, they seem like a lot of fun with all the dancing and music. You get to dress up like a princess for one night and your date is super nice to you. Afterwards, you have sex for the first time in a car or in a hotel room—if your date is rich. I really think that Edward Mate should at least take me to the prom before we have sex, don't you?"
I looked to Jasper, unsure of how to answer her question. Geez! I'm not made for this shit, I had to be forced to go to the prom with Edward and I took Riley to my senior prom because he, Vicky, Irina, and Laurent insisted I go. Now, I have Amanda here dreaming about the prom.
Jasper shrugged his shoulders then spoke. "You know something, Amanda. I can guarantee you that Edward will ask you to the prom. That's a promise."
What the fuck is he doing—promising her the prom? How the hell is he going to pull that off?
"Really?" She looked so excited. There was no way, I could disappoint her. Someway, somehow, we were going to get her a prom. Well, if Jasper can get me completely blitzed and marry me—he can certainly figure out how to put on a prom.
"Really." Jasper reassured. She jumped straight into Jasper's arms and started planting his face with kisses. Thank God for the Old Spice that Rex and I had gotten her, it was really helping with her scent.
"So, anymore questions Amanda?" I asked. We were heading back to the house.
"Just one." She said. "Does third base really feel like warm apple pie to a guy?"
Okay, how many times did she watch American Pie? I'm not even sure what third base is, come to think of it. I'm gonna have to watch American Pie again in order to keep up with Amanda. I think I'll just defer to Jasper. "All yours, my mate." I chuckled.
"Why don't we let Petey Papa answer that question. You can ask him as soon as we get back." Jasper said.
"Sure, but Belly Mama?"
"Yes, Amanda?"
"Can you bake me some apple pie? I want to stick my hands in it so I can see what third base feels like."
"Of course. I'll just run to the store and grab some apples after we get back. You want to help me bake it?"
"Yeah, that'll be fun. I've never cooked before—at least as a vampire. I'm not sure whether or not I cooked as a human."
"Well, then, it'll be a first for both of us. I haven't cooked since my change either."
When we got back to the house, everyone was home and we were all greeted with warm hugs. "Um...I need to run to the grocery store, Amanda wants to stick her hands in some apple pie." I announced. Jasper escaped to his war strategies room with Rex and Garrett. I knew from experience that those three wouldn't make a reappearance until morning.
"Oh good. While you're there can you pick up the ingredients for chocolate chip cookies and sugar cookies? We need to start baking for the sick children and to leave at all the stations at the hospital for Christmas." Esme asked. "We're doing it for both dad and Riley this year. "
"Sure Esme, no problem. About how many cookies are we talking about here so I know how much to buy?"
Esme started thinking out loud. "Hmm...Riley works at Children's Hospital so there are more sick kids there and we did a thousand for Carlisle last year. Let's say three thousand cookies, just to be safe."
"Three thousand cookies! Shouldn't we just buy them pre-made?"
"No, honey, pre-made cookies aren't as thoughtful."
"I'm driving to Costco, then, I think we're going to need a couple of those industrial sized bags of flour."
Edward and Emmett walked into the house at that moment laden with shopping bags. "Honeys—we're home!" Emmett's booming voice announced.
"Oh good! I need to go to Costco's to run an errand for Esme. Do you guys want to come with me? Jasper wants to stay here and work on his war strategies with Garrett and Rex."
"Sorry, sissy, I haven't seen Rosie all day so I kind of need some alone time with her." Emmett confessed. Perfect. I only wanted Edward to come with me to discuss Amanda with him.
"Sure, I'll go with you. I have to talk to you about something anyway. Whose car are we taking?" Edward asked.
"Our truck might be better because we have to load up those huge bags of flour. You drive, though, I really hate driving." I tossed Edward the keys as we headed out the door. Before I left, I called upstairs to my mate. "Jasper, I'm going shopping with Edward! Call my cell if you need anything!"
"Got it!" He answered back.
Edward's POV
Thank God, Bella asked me to go to Costco with her. I really needed to talk to someone and she was the one I felt most comfortable with opening up to. I was really bothered by a couple of things that happened last night at Climax. One was how Randy and Kenny said that I looked and dressed like a homosexual. I was thinking about it and I think they might be right. I didn't have my own sense of fashion style and for decades I let someone pick and choose my clothes for me. First it was my mother, next it was Esme, and finally it was Alice. I wanted Bella to help me develop my own sense of style. For God's sake, even Amanda has her own sense of style now.
The second thing that was bothering me was my newfound urgency to claim Amanda as my mate. I didn't want to push her, but, at the same time, my instincts were screaming at me to do the deed. Last night, I was inebriated and nearly lost control. I thanked Peter this morning for actually preventing me from making a grave error. Had I taken Amanda last night, it would have been nothing short of rape and I would have never been able to forgive myself.
"Turn up the radio, Bella. I like this song." We were driving down the highway singing 'White Christmas' together. It's funny, when we were together in Forks, Bella used to never sing in front of me. Now that we were more like siblings, she would frequently belt out tunes with me. A couple of weeks ago, we were watching Grease with Amanda and we couldn't help, but sing along to all the songs. I took all the boy parts while she took the girl parts. I think Amanda was amused because she kept giggling the entire time.
"Hey, Edward. Who's older—you or Bing Crosby?" Bella asked curiously.
"I've got Bing by two years. I was born in 1901 and he was born in 1903."
"Geez—you're old."
"Chronologically yes, but biologically speaking no. Char and I are the youngest at seventeen, then Tanya at eighteen. Do you want to hear a funny Belly Mama?" I used Amanda's nickname just to get a little rise out of her. It worked—she gave me the evil eye. "Amanda is actually a year older than you. She's the same age as Riley and Carlisle. She turned 23 on August 31st."
"No kidding? Wasn't she concerned about being six years older than you?"
"Actually, no. She wanted to celebrate one last human birthday before being turned. It didn't bother me one bit either. Does it bother you that you're two years older than Jasper?"
"Nope, not at all. When I was dating you, it really bothered me. One of the reasons why I didn't want to celebrate my eighteenth birthday was because I was becoming a year older than you officially." She admitted. "Amanda's really changed, hasn't she? Does it bother you?"
"It did in the beginning. Now, I really like her—no love her, so much more. I think Amanda starting off with a blank slate has allowed her to actually develop her true personality." I reflected a bit before I spoke again. "Bella, you have to understand that Pastor Paine brainwashed his own daughter. She was born into his skewed, almost cult like version of the Baptist religion. The man is a disservice to Christianity as a whole, to be quite honest. He raised her to fear God and made her believe that he was God's only messenger. He homeschooled her until she was ready for college and he was sure that she wouldn't be influenced by any outside sources. I don't think she married me out of love sis. I think she married me because of the mating pull and because of my wealth. Her father wanted to create his own ministry. In her defense, I can say that her father was probably behind the entire ruse."
"You're probably right, but how do you feel about her now?" Bella asked curiously.
"I love her. I love the real Amanda that you, Peter, and Jasper managed to bring out. I like to think that if she didn't have that greedy shithead of a father, the human her would have turned out the way she is now. The only problem now is that I don't feel like I have what it takes to keep up with her."
"What do you mean by that, Edward? I think out of all of us, you've made the biggest change." Bella noted as she grabbed a shopping cart. "You might have gone a bit off the deep end yesterday, but I'm not qualified to judge anyone there because I seem to do that a lot too. Besides, I found Drunkward to be quite endearing."
"Okay, this is going to sound weird, but remember Kenny and Randy yesterday?" Bella nodded so I continued. "Well, they said I look gay—and well, do I?"
Bella started giggling. "Funny you mentioned that because, just a couple of hours ago, Amanda said that you dressed like one of those boys who liked boys."
"She said that?" I was absolutely mortified. Bella nodded yes. That's it, things have got to change. "Bella, can we grab what we need in here quickly? I need to go shopping. Why do we need 100 pounds of flour?"
"Oh, Esme's baking 3000 cookies and I need some for an apple pie for Amanda. She wants to stick her hands in one."
"What? Why?" I asked because why the hell would anyone want to stick their hands in an apple pie.
"Oh, she watched American Pie with Peter and she wants to feel what third base is like.."
"They have a movie about pies?"
"Geez! You're clueless. American Pie is about four high school kids on a quest to lose their virginity at prom. Speaking of which, you need to ask Amanda to the prom before you even attempt to have sex with her. You should also probably try to get to know her because she feels as if you're a stranger to her—considering you're her husband. She understands more about life and sex than you think, Edward, though some of her views are off-kilter because she has a tendency to mix fiction with reality. Of course, that's typical of teenage behavior." Bella pointed out.
"How am I going to ask her to the prom when we don't have one to go to?"
"That's where Jasper comes in. He's going to work his magic somehow. It was his idea in the first place. I suppose we'll have to come up with the plans to put on a prom before you ask her—maybe we can have one in the grand ballroom at the Amherst house, what do you think?"
"That might work, Bella. Let's finish up here, go to the mall for some new clothes for me, then coordinate with Jasper. I'm surprised you're into the idea of a prom—you hate celebrations."
"Yeah, well, you weren't there when Amanda talked about it. She got a super dreamy expression in her eyes and I think Jasper just broke and promised her a prom. You know how he can be a real softie. I'm so not qualified for this prom stuff. I had to be forced to go to both my proms and my dates were you and Riley. At least I was dating you, but damn it—I brought my own brother to my senior prom." She threw in a few restaurant sized containers of everything that was needed for cookies plus a bag of apples. "We look like we're opening up a bakery. This is nuts!"
I grabbed a copy of American Pie on the way out of Costco, if it was a movie about losing your virginity, it was relevant to me so I figured I should watch it. Bella smirked when she saw the movie being scanned by the cashier. "I'll make two apple pies." I looked at her with a perplexed expression. Why would she need to make two apple pies? "Trust me, you'll thank me later. You're lucky I love you, Edward."
Hmm...now I really have to watch the movie. Maybe, Amanda will watch it with me. "Alright, let's head to the mall. I need you to guide me on my wardrobe choices. I've never actually bought my own clothes. It's always been either Esme or Psycho Bitch picking my clothes and when I was human, it was my mother."
"Okay, I'm not so sure if you should be taking my advice, though. Riley's the one you want to go to for male fashion tips. I know, we'll go to the stores that he shops at, how's that for an idea?"
"Sounds good. Let's go."
We ended up calling Riley and having him meet us at the mall. Riley was happy to dress me down, as he liked to call it. "Hey, I'm glad you guys called me because I need a little help myself. I want to get Vicky a real diamond ring this time. You know how I was only able to afford a plain gold band for our first wedding, Bells. I figure, since we're getting re-married, I'd get her a genuine diamond engagement ring for Christmas. What do you think?"
"I love the idea. I think you should find something to pair with your original wedding band, though. Vicky is pretty sentimental, I doubt she'd want to get rid of the original." Bella said.
"I agree. I'm big on sentimentality too. I gave Amanda my mother's engagement ring when we got married."
"Sounds great. Let's go to one of the jewelry stores in the mall. I can't afford anything over the top like Jasper—did you know that your ring cost 1.2 million dollars, Bells?" Our sister's jaw dropped at hearing that. Riley then continued. "I can certainly afford a couple of thousand dollars now that Vicky and I are both working and we have no rent, though."
"Hey, Riley." I offered. "I actually know diamonds pretty well. I can help you and make sure that you're not being ripped off. Oh, and if you can wait until tomorrow, you'll get a way better deal and a better selection at the Jeweler's Building at Downtown Crossing in Boston. These mall jewelry stores have poor quality diamonds and an even worse selection at sky high prices."
"That'll be great, Edward." Riley seemed happy. It felt nice being able to do something for him for a change. "Bella?" She was still immobile and staring at her ring in a state of shock.
"Fuck me!" She muttered, then followed us to the next store in the mall.
I was actually pretty happy. Bella and Riley helped me pick out some casual clothes and when I looked at myself in the mirror, I actually looked my age instead of like a seventeen year old wearing his dad's clothes. "Hey, these hooded sweatshirts are pretty comfortable. No wonder you wear them all the time, Bella." I commented. "Alice never let me wear anything like this. She always said it wasn't proper."
"Edward, Alice has her head stuck on a fashion runway 24/7 plus she thinks she's some sort of celebrity. Not even celebrities dress that way all the time." Bella said wisely. "Hey, now you don't look gay anymore either. I think Amanda will be happy. Basically, she said you looked old and gay. Speaking of which, I need to pick up some hair color for her. I promised her I'd color her hair blonde."
"Blonde? Why? She looks fine the way she is." I said.
"Just let her go with it, Edward. It's something she really wants to do and I think it'll make her happy. She feels trapped and cooped up in the house and not everyone in the family has warmed up to her yet." Bella explained. "Ooh! Maybe we should ask Riley's opinion about the prom."
We asked Riley what he thought of the prom idea, as well as his professional opinion about Amanda being a bit confused about fiction and reality. "Carlisle, Eleazar, and I have been discussing Amanda and we think that the reason why she came out with virtually no memory of her human self is because she was brainwashed from the time she was born by that fucking shit for brains father of hers. She had no self to hold onto during her change, therefore leaving her a virtual blank slate. She's come a long way and right now, she's behaving like a typical teenager. I think confusing reality and fiction might be a result of being cooped up in the house too much. Movies are the only thing she has to show her what life is like outside of the house. Unfortunately, with her bloodlust as strong as it is, we have no other options in that area. The prom idea is excellent, it will give her a change of venue and it will also give her something to look forward to. I think the three of us and Jasper should get the rest of the family on board with the prom. It might be fun for some of the other girls that have never experienced a prom like the Denali girls and Charlotte too." Riley paused. "Oh, and Edward. Don't say anything to Amanda about changing her hair color. Just let her go with it, she's just trying to express herself."
Riley's never steered me wrong before so I was going to just go with what he said. "Another prom. I'm gonna kill Jasper." Bella sighed, then chuckled. "Regarding the hair, Edward, Amanda even did the research. She knew the brand and shade number that she wanted already. Where the heck is she getting this information?"
"I can answer that." Riley said. "Vicky was looking for a new hair color for herself and Amanda happened to be with her. So they went through some kind of website where they could find their perfect shade of hair coloring together."
"Geez! I didn't even know that kind of stuff existed. I'm so backwards." Bella grimaced.
"That's what we love about you, sis." Riley put his arm around Bella. "You're pretty low maintenance for a girl."
"Besides, Bella," I added, "You probably don't know about that stuff because you're a natural beauty and you really don't need to do anything. I remember the girls at Forks High were extremely jealous of you—especially that Lauren Mallory and Jessica Stanley. You wouldn't believe the vindictive thoughts that ran through their petty minds—it got worse after Mike Newton and Eric Yorkie started pursuing you. I wonder what happened to those people?"
"I have no idea. I haven't thought about those people in ages. After you left, I couldn't get rid of Mike and Eric. It was worse with Mike because I worked at his parents' store and he would pester me during and after work."
"Yeah." Riley piped in. "It got to the point where either Dad, Vicky, or I had to drop her off and pick her up from work. Vicky so wanted to drain him and I was on the verge of letting her do it as a favor to us all."
"Oh, Edward, you're gonna love this one. Mike and Eric both showed up to pick me up for the movies one Friday night. I had told them both 'no' earlier at school. Well, Daddy was home and he knew about both of them pestering me so he answers the door with a rifle pointed straight at them. You should have seen them! They both turned chalk white and ran away from the house without even bothering to get in their cars."
We were all chuckling. I could just picture Charlie Swan greeting those two losers with a rifle pointed straight at them. "Charlie could be pretty intimidating." I said. "I remember the first time I met him he was cleaning his rifle and he made it a point to show it to me."
"I hate to say this Edward, but you definitely weren't my Daddy's favorite person." Bella pointed out.
"Oh, I know. He detested me, it got worse after the James incident in Phoenix. He had a mental list going that he coined '101 Ways to Kill Edward Cullen Without Any Evidence'. He was very creative. My favorite one was 'shoot him then stage a bear attack', but 'hurl him off the cliff at La Push' was a close second."
"Oh my God! That's too funny. I had no idea." Bella and Riley were both howling.
The three of us did a little more Christmas shopping then headed for home because Esme wanted her supplies so she could start on the cookies. Bella invited me to her and Jasper's home in Cambridge for a visit tomorrow morning since I was meeting Riley at noon anyway in Downtown Crossing. She said she needed moral support since a contractor was coming over to look at the side of the house that Jasper apparently destroyed. I told her about the unspoken rule in the Cullen household, then: "Never, ever let Jasper fix anything. Just assume that he'll break it." She giggled when she heard that. I couldn't help, but laugh along with her.
It's hard to believe that just a few short months ago, I was a lovesick teenager in love with his ex-girlfriend. Now the two of us had a strong brother-sister bond that I doubt could ever be broken. "Hey, Edward?"
"Yeah, Bella?" We were in her truck heading back home to Amherst. Riley was ahead of us in his Suburban.
"I have to ask you about something that Jasper and I discussed a while back. It's about Alice."
Oh, shit. This can't be good. Alice was someone that I felt I could never let back into my good graces after all the shit she's pulled.. She was currently avoiding the family after Carlisle had Jenks bail her out of jail. Last check on her credit card placed her in Oregon with daily purchases at Walmart—for some odd reason.
"Think back to my eighteenth birthday party when Jasper tried to take a bite out of me." She paused for a moment allowing me time to reflect. "Jasper and I could both swear that we saw her smiling after that. How much do you think she actually knew? Clearly, you and I weren't ever meant to be mates. Do you think that she knew that Jasper and I were mates, Edward?"
I pulled over on the side of the road to think about the events that transpired during her eighteenth birthday party. Bella got a paper cut. My bloodlust was overwhelming. I threw Bella into the dishes so I wouldn't take a bite out of her. Bella bled profusely after that. My bloodlust was out of control and so was everyone else's after reading their thoughts. Jasper lunged and I managed to push him away. Emmett caught him and Alice...oh hell no...Alice smiled. What were her thoughts? I thought hard trying to recollect the memory that I tried so hard to forget. Oh fuck. Alice's thoughts were, "Perfect, everything is going as planned. There's no way Bella Swan will ever get her hands on my husband. I don't care if he is her mate. She'll be dead before he ever finds out." Oh God! Oh God! I knew, but I had pushed the thought aside feeling sorry for myself.
"Oh, Bella!" I cried. "She knew! She knew everything! The manipulative fucking bitch knew everything. I don't know if you'll ever forgive me." I then explained everything that I just recalled then begged for her forgiveness.
"Edward, there's nothing to forgive. She lied to you too. You thought you were losing your mate forever. There's no way you could have thought coherently at that moment. Think about it."
"Bella, I love you—as a sister, I mean." I said.
"I love you too, brother." She smiled and gave me a hug. I knew everything was just fine between us. Alice, though, had another thing coming.
Oh boy, Jasper is pretty deluded about his Mr. Fix It skills, isn't he? Amanda's pretty confused too-the prom seems like a nice little surprise for her, though. Edward and Bella seem to be coming along nicely, but that was a revelation and a half about Alice's prior knowledge about certain things, wasn't it? Oh, and what exactly is third base? I'd love to hear what you think. You have my word that I'll write back. I have fun talking to you guys anyway.