Chapter Twenty-Five

Christmas Eve night, Lily had come over to Spinner's End and spent the rest of the evening with Severus. After the visit with his mother being cut short, he wasn't in the best of moods, but Lily's presence helped, and he was glad to have her with him. Just before she left, she invited Severus over her house for Christmas dinner.

"Are you sure?" Severus asked, unsure.

"Of course," Lily replied. "My parents told me to tell you. As for Petunia, she will just have to deal with it." She smiled.

Smirking, Severus said, "Well, then I guess I'll have to be there, if only to see the look on Petunia's long face."

"Sev," Lily said seriously, "that's unkind to make fun of her. She's still my sister."

Realizing Petunia was still a sore subject between them, Severus didn't say another word against Lily's sister... for now. He inwardly sighed, wondering how Lily could still defend her after all these years, but then again, she defended him, didn't she? It was Lily's nature to show compassion where others failed.

"All right," Severus gave in with a small nod. "Until tomorrow, then?"

At that moment, the clock struck midnight. "Make that later today," Lily corrected wryly.

Having not realized the time, Severus gasped. "You need to get going home, Lily, but you're not going alone. Come on, I'll walk you home."

They bundled up and stepped out into the chilling winter air, purposefully taking the long route. Ever since the confrontation with Tobias a few days prior, Severus had avoided walking past the park.

It was a placid night. The stars were bright against the velvety backdrop of the night sky, and the moonlight glistened beautifully off the freshly fallen snow. Not a sound could be heard. The world, it seemed, was truly at peace.. if only for tonight.

As they walked along, Severus's mind drifted to his past life. This would be his first Christmas in this new life, and he had hope that it would be better than any before. Hope was a strange feeling to him, but it wasn't so foreign anymore. Only six months in, he was changing for the better. He couldn't imagine joining Voldemort now or ever. In fact, it was hard to imagine the likes of Voldemort even existing when all around appeared so calm and good.

Eventually, they arrived at Lily's house. Their point of departure was the front porch like it always was. Severus gazed down into Lily's eyes, transfixed, seeing his own reflection staring back at him. Lily was doing likewise. They both felt a connectedness in that moment, locked just for them.

"Happy Christmas, Sev," Lily murmured.

"Happy Christmas, Lily," Severus returned just as softly.

Leaning down, he placed a gentle kiss on her lips. Severus parted and left, knowing he would see Lily again in a few short hours.

He decided to take his chances and go past the park. Surely Tobias, if he was hanging around there, would be asleep by now. As Severus approached the area where the playground was, he didn't see anyone. Releasing a sigh of relief, his warm breath heaved into the cold air, Severus quickened his pace. He was almost past the park when he noticed a movement out of the corner of his eye. He reached instinctively for his wand.

Sure enough, Tobias's drunken voice came. "Sev'rus, is that you?"

Ignore him. Keep walking.

"Sev'rus, wait!" Tobias pathetically pleaded. "Pl- please..."

Against his better judgment, Severus stopped and turned to face his father. Tobias was only a few feet away, for he had been trailing Severus for the past several paces.

"What do you want, Father?" Severus asked impatiently.

"Show me the way home," Tobias said. "That's where you're headed, right?"

"Don't follow me, or I'll be forced to harm you, Father," Severus ground out. "How many times must I tell you that you aren't welcome there. Go get help, clean yourself up, sober up... and maybe I'll talk to you again."

Tobias, an utterly helpless look in his eyes, begged, "But I don't know where to go, what to do, how- how I'm supposed to change."

"You know what you need to do. I just told you. The question is - Do you even want to change, Father?"

Tobias didn't say anything for a while, but then he nodded.

"Then do what you must, whatever that may be," Severus sighed. "Now, go back to your bench and leave me be."

Surprisingly, Tobias listened. Severus, glad he didn't have to punch the other man in the nose again, hurried away, wondering if Tobias really was trying to change for the better. Finally entering his house, Severus glanced out the window to ensure his father hadn't followed him, and he set the wards and locked the door.

Soon after that, Severus found himself in bed, wondering what his father was playing at... or if he was serious. Severus never imagined his father sobering and taking responsibility for his past wrongs, but again, Severus had tried to right his wrongs. Why couldn't Tobias do the same?

Eventually, Severus fell asleep and awoke several hours later in the early part of the morning. Since the days were at their shortest, the sun was just rising as he left the bed and headed down the hallway to take a shower. Severus quickly cleaned and dressed, then headed downstairs to the kitchen to eat breakfast.

As he sat at the table, he felt very alone all of a sudden. Severus was used to being alone, and with the exception of Lily's occasional company since returning home for the holidays, Severus had been by himself in the cold house. He hadn't bothered with any sort of decorating, as that wasn't his thing, and no one else would be there to appreciate it.

After a simple meal of tea and toast, Severus tidied up the kitchen and went into the sitting room. He pulled Lily's gift out of his pocket, hoping it would prove sufficient. He didn't recall ever really exchanging gifts with Lily in his past life, but this year would be different. Severus examined the necklace, a simple silver chain with a pendant holding a small ruby. It had belonged to his mother. Severus had deliberated whether or not he should take it from Eileen, as it wasn't as if she was dead, nor had he gotten Eileen's permission to give it away. Severus, however, figured his mother wouldn't miss it. She hadn't worn it in years, and sadly, Severus didn't think she would again. He didn't have the money to buy anything nice for Lily, and so, it was this or nothing.

Severus momentarily wondered if he ought to wrap the necklace, but he didn't have any paper, and he figured it would be fine without frilly ribbons and bows. Lily wasn't the type of girl who needed extravagance, nor did she want it.

Dinner at the Evans' was still hours away. Sighing, Severus glanced out the window, noticing that it was snowing again. There had been more snow than usual this year, he observed. He couldn't remember if that had been the case before. Withdrawing from the window, Severus went to the bookshelves and grazed for something to read to pass the time. He came upon old family photo albums, his hand stopping at them. Unsure if it was the best idea, Severus removed the first one and took it back to the couch and sat down again.

As he opened the album, the moving pictures told a story from another lifetime, literally. Severus was only a baby, although almost a year old, during his first Christmas. He barely recognized the happy, pink child. Tobias was smiling, watching as Eileen laughed as she played with her son. Severus turned the page, unable to watch a scene he knew would never come to pass again. Page after page told the story of his life as he remembered it all too well. As Severus grew older, his parents grew apart. Less happiness was seen in those pictures, and by the time he reached the end of the album, sometime around his seventh or eighth Christmas, Tobias was clutching a bottle and sitting moodily in the background, frowning at the little boy who was dressed in mismatched clothes and whose hair was uneven and quite long. Eileen was off to the side, half-heartedly smiling at little Severus, who was trying to play with a broom.

Severus closed the album and returned it to its place on the shelf, having no desire to take the next one. He knew what would follow would only grow more depressing, and he was determined this Christmas would be happier. If that was the case, he wondered why he was taking a depressing trip down memory lane. Could he simply not be happy?

Stifling a yawn, Severus stretched out on the couch and fell asleep, bored with the morning. When he woke, he briefly panicked, wondering if he had overslept. One glance at the clock told him he was safe. Dinner would be in an hour. Figuring it would be fine to head over to Lily's house now, Severus stood and put on his coat and headed out into the cold.

Because the extreme bite in the air, Severus decided to walk past the park, hoping his father wouldn't be there. There was no sign of the man when Severus quickly strolled by, and he momentarily wondered where Tobias went. He hoped to a homeless shelter. Even a lowlife like Tobias ought to have a warm meal on Christmas Day.

When Severus arrived at Lily's house, he was absolutely freezing. Tired of not being able to use magic outside of school or his home, Severus was glad his birthday was only a couple of weeks away. He rang the bell, and within a couple of seconds, he could hear steps bounding toward the door. Lily opened the door and beamed at him, nearly pulling him into the house. She wasted no time in throwing her arms around him, burying her face in the thick layers of his clothes.

"Thank you for coming, Sev," she breathed. "I'm so happy you're here!"

"Wow, Lily, let me breathe," he joked, returning the hug.

Lily released her hold on him long enough for him to remove his coat, and Lily excitedly reached for his hand, leading him toward the sitting room. A large, handsome evergreen tree graced one corner of the cozy room, and a fire crackled in the grate. Mrs. Evans welcomed Severus and offered him something to drink, shortly followed by Mr. Evans as he shook his hand. Only Petunia remained seated, occasionally glowering at Severus and Lily.

They sat down, and Severus began experiencing a typical family holiday. Mrs. Evans seemed a bit too much like Molly Weasley in how she doted almost constantly over her children and Severus, almost as if he were a third offspring. It took some getting used to on Severus's part, but after a few minutes, he grew comfortable enough. Besides, with Lily at his side, he was more at ease.

Dinner was an overly elaborate affair. Lily smiled, whispering apologetically into Severus's ear, "Sorry, Mum does tend to go a bit overboard. She's really gone all out this year. When she heard you accepted the invitation, I think she added at least two dishes to the menu."

Severus balked at the feast, unable to comprehend how Mrs. Evans thought five people could consume what could easily have fed four times as many people. The meal was soon underway, Mrs. Evans explaining that growing boys needed their nourishment. Severus simply nodded politely.

Afterward, they retired to the sitting room again, and the opening of presents began. When Lily's parents presented Severus with a gift, he said uneasily, "It's not necessary of you. Thoughtful, but not necessary. I don't have anything to give you."

"Nonsense, my boy," Mrs. Evans said kindly. "Having to be all by yourself in that house, and after what you've been through... you deserve a decent Christmas. Open it."

Giving in, Severus complied, if only to calm the nervously excited woman. It was a sweater. Severus thanked them, thinking he would never wear the awful thing. He hated sweaters.

Neither Lily nor Severus exchanged gifts in front of the others. Severus kept waiting for the right moment, but there was constant movement and talking all around, and as the afternoon progressed, he began to become nervous. What if Lily hated his gift? What if she outrightly refused to accept it, for whatever reason?

Petunia, tired of spending time with her family, went up to her room to sulk, and Lily's parents went into the kitchen. Now was the moment. Severus reached into his pocket when Lily had her head turned and pulled out the necklace, keeping it clutched firmly in his hand.

"Lily?" he asked, his voice cracking like a young teenager.

"Yes, Sev?" Lily replied, giving him a confused look.

"Er... happy Christmas." He shoved the necklace into her hands without preamble, blushing.

Surprised, Lily looked down at her hands, curious what Severus had given her so forcefully. When her eyes came to rest upon the necklace, they grew large. "Sev," she breathed, "what? You didn't have to... Is this for me?" she asked in awe.

"Yes," Severus said softly. "I wanted to give you something this year. I mean, I hope it's okay-"

He was stopped from going any further because Lily was kissing him full on the lips. Momentarily shocked, Severus soon recovered himself and kissed back.

"Thank you, Sev," she said sincerely, truly touched. "I actually have something for you as well."

Lily left and went to the tree, retrieving a small package and handing it to him. Severus tried to protest, but Lily only gave him a half-hearted glare.

"What? You can give me something, but I can't get you something? You even accepted that sweater from my mum."

"All right, all right," Severus relented. "It's just... I'm not used to this whole gift thing." He ripped away the wrapping and found a book about the history of defensive magic from around the world.

"I know it's not much," Lily started to say quickly, "but I know you like to read, and since you're so good at Defense-"

"It's great, Lily; thank you," Severus gently cut her off, knowing she would ramble otherwise. When Lily didn't appear convinced, Severus said, "Really, I love it."

Severus thought it a practical gift. He was always interested in learning more, and Lily had obviously put thought into what she gave him.

"Do you want to go up to my room?" Lily suddenly posed. "I'd love some alone time with you. As much as I love my parents, it's tiring spending the entire day with them, don't you think?"

"Er..." Severus started to say, thinking Lily's parents would object to her taking an adolescent boy up to her bedroom.

"They won't mind; come on." Lily seemed suddenly quite anxious to be alone with him, and not wanting to argue, Severus complied and followed Lily up the stairs and into her room.

"Thanks again for coming over," Lily said, closing the door. She took Severus by the hands and led him to the bed.

"Sure," Severus said, trying hard not to stutter. There was a look in Lily's eyes that wasn't usually there.

"It's been a wonderful Christmas," she said, smiling and sitting next to him. "Now, let's just... kiss a little."

Severus gladly agreed, although he kept wondering when her parents would come knocking at the door, demanding they return downstairs. Although he had dreamed of being with Lily romantically for years, he had always imagined it being somewhere private. Lily was only sixteen, and Severus couldn't help but feeling like he was violating her.

After a few minutes of heavily making out, Severus said, "Lily, not that I'm not enjoying this, but can't we just talk?" He felt hot and bothered... and very awkward. He had never made out with a girl like this in his life. Ever.

Lily looked hurt, and Severus immediately regretted his words. "Not that I wasn't enjoying it, Lily, but your parents are downstairs, and... and I don't want to get carried away. You're- er, we're so young yet."

Lily nodded. "You're right. I'm sorry. Hormones," she said, trying to lighten the mood.

"One day, I promise," Severus said seriously. "Just not yet. It needs to be the right time." Like when you're married to me, he thought hopefully.

Just then, Mrs. Evans's voice called from downstairs, saying dessert was ready. Severus and Lily straightened their clothes and headed back downstairs. Surprisingly, no questions were asked, and Severus wondered if Lily's parents were more liberal than average. By the time they were finished with dessert, it was quite late. Knowing Lily would need to stay with her family for the rest of the day, Severus allowed her to see him to the door. He thanked the Evanses for their kindness and hospitality before saying goodbye to Lily.

"Today was good," he said levelly, wishing he could have had Lily entirely to himself, but glad nonetheless to have been in her company with others around.

"It was," Lily agreed, wishing the same as Severus. In time, perhaps their wish would come true.

With one last parting kiss, Severus wished Lily a happy Christmas and stepped into the cold once again, only he was warmer than he had been before coming to spend the day with Lily.

Author's Note: I'm sorry for the long delay with updating. Work and everything else has been absolutely crazy, and I've had this chapter in my mind all week, just waiting to get the chance to sit down and write it. Finally! I can't guarantee updates as quickly as they used to be, at least not for a while yet. I don't foresee things getting any less hectic and busy in real life. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and that the wait was worth it.

Oh, and I also wrote a poem about Lily and Severus:

Green-Black

There are slight moments when

Green turns to black,

In a need of soul-searching

And gazing within for lost pieces,

Memories drained with the loss of blood,

Tiny holes leaving their imprints.

Blinking once more and at last

The rattling breath escapes,

And then it's only a relief and release.

Somehow, victory is known and believed

With the emcompassing to two welcoming arms.