Disclaimer: I own nothing but my ideas and creative license.

A/N: I will declare it now – THE END IS NIGH FOR THIS STORY! Not sure if there will be a sequel. I'll see what happens! =) For now enjoy and know how thankful I am for all of your love, support and reviews!

Fifty Degrees of Love – Chapter Twenty-Five

Sneezing, Ana gripped her side and found back against the bed. Opening her eyes she looked over at the guilty party of lilies that had been sent in by one of the authors she had discovered and couldn't wait for someone to come in and throw them out of the window so she didn't have to use up valuable energy levels to do it herself.

She gave in when another sneeze burst free and she sat up a little, throwing the blanket off of her body, reading to think of the easiest, least painful way to swing her legs around and get out of bed without mass damage.

"Where are you off to, woman?" Christian cut her short of skipping out of bed and going feral on a vase of flowers. "You're meant to be resting and getting help with moving around."

Ana just resulted in sneezing and wincing all in one movement. "The flowers," She pointed at the abomination in the corner as another two sneezes attacked her. She felt literally near tears as she sneezed four times in a row.

Christian didn't need to be told; he saw the lilies and jumped in action. He knew that those and tulips were a no go for Ana and he immediately worked on getting them out of the room. She could hear him tell the guards that were now under Taylor's careful watch get given orders. They were yet to sack the men on guard as Christian and Taylor had decided to give them a run for their money. Christian was going to be the slave driver and enjoy it and admittedly, Ana was going to enjoy it as well.

After learning that Taylor had Leila arrested it seemed that Christian relaxed and let his guard down completely especially after she was readmitted to a psychiatric institute. She wasn't their issue and he would never make her one. He almost made a mistake and for that he would punish himself for the rest of his days.

Christian's biggest torture was sitting and dwelling on how life had unravelled from something he loved to something he would hate. How did a man that was so happily in love turn into the beast he had? He didn't know and it seemed no one else did either. He hated that he was left with no answers, no explanations and no reasoning. It was like one day he switched off this life and then switched it back on. His scans were inconclusive and they were now so clear of damage it had even his mother and her neurologist friend baffled.

It was like no attack had occurred.

No one would believe a man who protested that love healed him because that was crazy talk, he knew that.

"You're looking pensive again," Ana pointed out as she shuffled around on her bed to get comfortable. It was like her husband waited for her to be comfortable before he joined her on the bed. At first he sat down with her then he kicked his shoes off and clambered on next to her and held her close. "You're going to have permanent lines soon."

Christian stifled a laugh as he realised he did seem to be stuck in his own head a lot lately, "I just keep searching for a reason as to why everything happened. I didn't sleep last night because I remember how awful I treated you. How can you forgive me if I can't forgive myself?"

"Easy," Ana moved a little to look up him, "Because you're here now and making it right. Don't dwell on the past when we're both here with one another." She heard him sigh and watched as a nurse came in, this one didn't ask Christian move but, just checked Ana over and gave her a new dose of medication stating they were lowering the strength ready for when she got the okay to be discharged.

"I can't wait to get you home," Christian murmured as he relaxed and let his worries go away. "I can't wait to have you in our bed, sleeping where you're comfortable," he was so desperate to get her home especially when his mother made him go home to sleep. He hated it but he found himself unable to argue with his mother when Ana was on her side willing him to go home and get proper rest before he came back and stuck by her side for the entire next day.

What they seemed to ignore was that he rested better in the chair by Ana's bedside than he did in his own bed.

"I can't wait for you to be okayed for cardiovascular exercise either," Christian whispered in her ear, nibbling at her deliberately to hit her ticklish spot. "I promise to make you scream my name from dusk until dawn."

"You already do," Ana laughed, the drugs doing their job to numb the pain and for once she found herself not wanting to sleep straight away. The nurse hadn't lied apparently. "I'm pretty sure we

"We'll take a second honeymoon then," Christian optimised wondering where else they could profit from getting a grand beach side villa. However, he felt the silence wrap around them in a graceful embrace, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Ana told him and saw that he didn't buy her lie nor would he just to let the situation pass by. "I just remember how you wanted to get rid of everything just so that I had nothing. I just can't imagine life without it all now. I mean, I miss my simple life but, I know that we are financially stable. It scares me that I had to start thinking about living on just own income and not have yours to share everything with. Since we got married we began such a duo at everything that I think I forgot how to do it on my own. We share the bills, the deed to Escala is in our name, all our holiday homes are in both our names. Our lives are so joint that I just felt in a mess at the thought of splitting everything."

"Never again," Christian soothed. "God, Ana, never again."

"Do you think we can make something that we can do, you know," She moved to look at him, only grimacing a little with the pain, "In case you suffer a relapse."

"I won't suffer a relapse, Ana," Christian's voice was tense as he said that as if he didn't want to face that possibility. "Is that how this is going to be?" He asked as he unwrapped his arms from her side and got up off of the bed. "Am I going to have to wake up every day and watch you doubt if it's me or if it's him?" He put his hands to his head as he turned and faced his wife, "Is that going to be my punishment for the rest of my life?"

Ana felt herself tear up. She didn't want the doubt but, her life was stolen from the moment that baseball bat made contact with her husband's head and although she wasn't there and she wasn't a catalyst for it, he still lost himself as if it were splattered across the garage of GEH.

"No," Ana whispered out her plead and reached for him, "It's not, Christian but, I'm scared okay?" She threw her fear at him, "God, I'm terrified because we don't know what tomorrows going to hold. Fuck, we don't know what the next minute is going to hold. Sure you've not had a mood swing or any signs of him coming back in days and I love that. I do but, there is a part of me that is just waiting for him to show his face and if I had to be honest, he scares me." She met the grey gaze that had settled on her, the look carefully watching, "I might have played the strong woman who stuck up to you, Christian but, I was scared at how little he cared for me. I hated how much he wanted to hurt me. How do I know I'm strong enough for that again?"

"Do you not think it scares me to go back to being him?" Christian asked her, understanding the demon that was pretty much occupying every waking moment. "I remember everything from before, during, from now and I just remember your face when Leila and I came home. It makes me sick, I want to punish someone for it but, I can't because if even I go after Bennett myself, I can't erase memories."

"I don't expect you to," Ana told him and pushed up completely, bringing her legs around so she was balanced and comfortable. "We both lived those weeks, Christian and neither of us can take those back but, why should we? If anything, knowing my love for you was what kept me there the most showed that I don't think I will ever love a man quite like I love you." She took a breath, wiped her tears and continued onwards, "But that other Christian that I lived with, he doesn't know how much I love you however much I proved it by fighting for you. I just want to make sure we have everything covered just in case."

It was irrational, but Ana just wanted a piece of security that would show, more than the house already did, how real Christian and Ana's love was for once another. It wasn't a big ask, but it would prove a memoir for years to come. One that could show their love story and how they both changed.

"So you want to write a diary or something?" Christian asked, trying to think of as many ways as they could secure their history in case the unthinkable happened again to them.

"Or something," Ana shrugged and felt like it was stupid idea, "But let's forget about it. I don't think you're going to change back and I will believe that. I won't believe I can lose you again. I won't."

"Ana," Christian said and dove at her, grabbing her arms to force her to look at him, "I want to make sure that whatever happens everyone knows how much I love you because believe me words do not express how much I love you, how much I am in love with you and how I plan to love you." He then gave her small smile, "No one will ever know how much this Christian is crazy about his wife."

Ana grinned, her blush shinning through on her paled features, "I don't think anyone will ever know how much we love each other."

"Well it's settled then, we can try and tell the world the story of us but, I do worried we might get caught up in the moment," He joked and Ana giggled. "So it's settled?"

"It's definitely settled," Ana confirmed and grinned at him, her eyes still forever soul searching in the depth of his. "I do want to know something else," Ana changed the subject in a gentle manner.

"What's that?" Christian queried, having no idea where the conversation was about to veer off to now.

"I just want to know how you're coping," Ana started and brought her hand up to push his hair out of his face, the softness like heaven to her finger tips. "Have you not any headaches or nosebleeds?" Ana fretted and had to ask him. She had to know that he was really okay and not just saying he was to keep her calm.

"None," He told her with sincerity as he climbed back onto the bed and resumed his earlier position. "Even with all that's gone on I have been thinking a lot."

"Thinking about what?" Ana asked and turned so her chin was resting on his chest.

"I want us to try for a baby. When you're better of course," Christian commented softly and he knew it was going to sound sudden but, the longing only seemed exacerbated since getting his memory back and hearing Ana say she was glad they didn't get pregnant when they thought they were. "I also want us to move and make a house a home."

"Well this is a change," Ana replied, consumed with domesticated bliss she released a contented sigh. "A pleasant change I'll admit." She snuggled down imagining a home that was for her and Christian. Would he end up building it from the ground up or chuck a celebrity out of their perfectly situated home for them to live? She actually didn't care as long as she woke up with Christian in it every day.

"Who bought you lilies?" Kate asked in disgust as she marched into the room. No privacy in this damn place was blatantly clear. Plus, Kate had seen the offending flowers outside waiting for disposal and knew immediately that Ana would be grateful but hate them. "I mean you're sick in hospital, someone should put a memo out that no lilies or tulips make it near you."

Ana laughed against her husband's chest before looking back up, "I'll get my husband on that little memo trip."

"Do, I saw how much you sneezed at my grandmother's funeral when you came with me. You literally bounced off that pew," Kate said with a slight chagrin at the memory and then inspected the other flowers, reading the cards, "I see a lot from Christian and a lot more from people I don't know."

"People I've snatched up thanking me for not dying I guess," Ana joked and watched as Kate finally left the multiple vases alone. "How come you're all here?"

"Shouldn't we be?" Grace asked as she came over to give her son and Ana a kiss hello. "I came to check on you but, the moment the girls found out they both were coming with me."

"Nowhere else I'd rather spend my Friday," Kate joked as she fell into one of the seats. Admittedly, the pregnancy was tiring her already. That and her husband had found his libido and about five other guys and kept her up all night. The baby had rekindled a new heated romance in them.

"Plus!" Mia piped up, her voice full to brim with excitement, her eyes alive with it. "We've decided that when you're cleared to we're going on a girl's holiday. Elliot's arranging for the guys to go but, we were thinking Barcelona or Madrid."

"No," Christian spoke up, sitting up as he felt terror build in his throat. "Why wasn't this passed by me? Ana's just recovering from surgery, she's still fighting off infections and you're planning a getaway away from me."

Ana reached up for her husband, gingerly sitting up herself, "Hey, calm down. It's not from you, Christian, but, it might do us good." She pushed her finger to his lips before he could put up a fight, "Think about it. It'll probably do me good to get away from everything that's happened and clear my head as well."

"And get away from me," Christian slandered the idea.

Sensing paranoia becoming vapid in the air, Ana knew she had to calm this, "Don't you dare start that!" The voice that erupted from her voice box was a bit more sterner than the voice she had intended but it worked and Christian looked at her. "If you think that's the reason I won't go but, look at the bigger picture here. I doubt I'll be up for an extended holiday-"

"It would just be a long weekend affair," Mia jumped in to point out how long.

"See, a long weekend. We'll have our phones, hell I'll take my laptop just to see you and when we get back you can be waiting for at the airport," She was sensitive with his feelings as she said this. "I think a break would do us all the world of good, Christian. It won't be happening now so just think about it."

"I'm scared everything will change," Christian fretted. Hell he was terrified he would change and Ana wouldn't be there to challenge him from the moment it happened. What did he do then?

"Nothing is going to change," Ana told him, trying to convey her optimism. "You're gonna be the same Christian who jets off with the boys like I'll be the same Ana that gets kidnapped by the girls. Do you understand?" She asked giving him a reassuring smile, it wasn't a whole, teeth baring grin but, it showed how much she was believing in that proclamation.

"I understand," Christian whispered as he unwillingly gave in.

"Good," Mia stepped in and looked at her brother. "I swear to God if you do change back to that asshole I will personally take Taylor's gun and shoot you myself," Mia threatened in the sweetest manner possible.

Ana looked at her husband's shocked face with much amusement, "Count yourself told, Mr. Grey."

All Christian could do was gulp and fell hot under the collar; his sister could be quite threatening when she wanted. How the situation had made her become.

Yeah, a holiday would do them all good!