A/N: This was a hard chapter to put up - BECAUSE I HAD SO MUCH TROUBLE UPLOADING I HAD TO DO SERIOUS SHORTCUTS AND CUT THIS CHAPTER IN HALF. The Epilogue will be coming soon, there's a process i have to undergo to copy and paste and reload then edit the shit out of it and it's making me cranky. (huffs)

Guest:Doffy likes giving himself roles that don't make any sense to anybody else haha! Your review made me happy! I hope to have more projects to finish soon - more than likely, i'll be finishing up with Family Bonds because it's pretty much finished. Just got to upload

Crimson Fox: It gets worse D:

Chapter Twenty-Five:

Feed Your Head!

"First off, I did try to say something about it. You wouldn't let me finish. Second, I agree with Luffy's vision in keeping these people in line. I don't know what you were expecting from me, but living a life without adventure doesn't feel like a life at all," Sanji told Law firmly once they were outside. Shachi was busy describing to Bepo what his parents had done to make him run away from home, and Bepo was responding with outrage, all four of them walking back to the truck Bepo had parked a safe distance away.

Law was sullen about what he'd learned and his expression was decidedly heavier the more Sanji talked. "This life isn't the fairytale Hiluluk imagined for you, Sanji," he snapped. "This life, you need to complete high school to continue to college – you had planned on going to San Francisco for culinary school! You think you don't need that, keeping these bastards in line? And Zeff never wanted you involved in this world! For you to go behind his back and step in on his position – "

"None of you bastards have the right to stand there and tell me how I should be living," Sanji snapped back at him, pausing in mid-step. "I decide what I want to do! Every time you make a decision on my behalf, it ends up blowing up in my face because of it!"

"We make decisions like these ones because we care about you!"

"How is repressing my desire to live an adventuresome life good for me at all? In the end, if I have to sneak around your goddamn decision to make my own decision, you damn well know I will do it. How does that make you different from Dr Hiluluk?"

"Don't you compare me to that man!"

"You're trying to keep me in another cage!"

"I don't want to lose you again!"

"I do what I feel is right for myself, and for others! I agreed to do this because I feel it fits me, because I feel I can do most in this position. Why the fuck should I be kept in a house and shielded from all the bad things in the world because one unfortunate thing happened to me?"

"I can't believe you said that to me," Law said tightly. "For you to think so selfishly of yourself at this point – "

"Is this selfish? Wanting to live my own life? You said we'd made plans for the future for us to be together, but only after we'd carried out our goals. How is this not different from that? I still plan on catching up with this schooling as soon as this shit's gone from my head – but at the same time, I can't just be kept in a cage for you at home, waiting for your beck and call. I need to feel as if I'm living, too!"

"For a year and a half, we combed through this city looking for you. The next year and ahlf after that, I began searching for your remains. Do you know what that does to a person? Not knowing where their loved one disappeared to, having no answers, having no clue that they were nearby, being experimented on, and then having them returned all fucked up in the head, not remembering anything that they'd had previously with their family and friends? Thinking they're a goddamn pirate and shit? How the fuck do you think we feel now, about it? How I feel about it? Of course I'm going to make a big deal out of this!"

"I'm sure you feel very…I can't imagine it. But I can't just…not do anything. I have to do something. I feel I can make a difference with the others about this situation. Yes, maybe I wasn't a pirate that lived an adventure every day – that's my reality. But this here, this mindset I have now – this is me as I understand me. This is something I have to do in order to feel like a fucking person, again! I don't know the person that you guys know! I have to start from scratch! But this here – this is something I do know! I have to do it!"

"Losing yourself to this fucking fantasy that should've died by now isn't going to help return your memories or pull you back to reality."

"Look, buddy," Sanji snapped, finger to his chest as Law glared down at him. They were so involved with each other that they hadn't noticed that Shachi and Bepo had hurried off ahead of them, uncomfortable with the fight. "I'm not that fucking boy anymore. You can't make those decisions for me. Zeff doesn't make decisions for me. NOBODY makes decisions for me! I make them! If this is what I want to do, I'm going to fucking do it, whether or not I have your support in it! If you don't want to support me, then make peace with yourself and leave."

"You did not just - !"

"You're mad! I get it! But fuck you if you want to just stand here and tell me what to do because of it! You either take a walk to cool down and think it over, or you just accept it as is and shut up about it. Either way, I'm doing this. There is nothing you can say or do that will stop me from doing it. As loyal as I am towards you, I am towards Luffy and the others. We've decided as a group to get involved. I'm getting involved."

"The shit that comes from your mouth, right now. If that fucking little prick wanted to jump off the goddamn bridge right now, you'd follow him?"

"Height was never a problem with me."

"Fucking bullshit, Sanji."

"What scares you about it, anyway? I thought you'd be more supportive, considering how much interference you caused in their activities, anyway!"

"It's fucking obvious, you dumb shit."

"You're not going to lose me again! The only way you'd lose me is if you keep repressing me. I will leave. Yeah, thanks for the memories and effort, but I will turn and walk away from you just like that if you keep deciding that your way is better for me."

"Because what Zeff and I decide for you while you're in this state of mind is better for you, jackass! Legally, you're mentally incompetent to make any sort of legal decision on your own! Luffy and the others could find themselves in legal trouble if something happens to you! You could be released back to the asylum that you were held in until you were determined to have some competency to you – and who knows for how long, considering that son of a bitch made you think you were a fucking pirate who does pirate things for three years! Look around you – everyone has a job. Everyone contributes something to this society – once the proper authorities realize that you aren't, it's only a matter of time before they catch up to you."

Sanji stared at him for a couple of moments, then looked away. "You haven't contributed anything. You don't have a real job."

"I own a few properties on the north side of the city. I invested in the money I liberated from the syndicate heads those years ago – still doing it, by the way - and while some of it is going to other important places, I use that from time to time to take care of things that matter to me. meanwhile, as soon as your head is on straight, I planned on settling down here with a respectable job and doing respectable things! So, yes, maybe I don't have a job right now – I consider taking care of you a priority. How can I do that when you're throwing yourself into positions that threaten to take you away from me?"

"And what happens after I get my head back on? You going to make up something else to try and stop me?"

"Goddamn it, Sanji."

"I'm doing this, with or without your approval. You can talk yourself hoarse trying to stop me."

Law stared at him for a few seconds, Sanji glaring right back at him.

"You would willingly undo all the hard work and effort we've all put into your life just to experience a few thrilling moments?"

"Newsflash – I'll be absolutely fine. It feels like I've only been here a short time, but Corazon was right about you. You're a goddamn worrywart. Lay off."

With a growl, Law reached up, grabbing a hold of his jaw tightly.

"You want to do whatever the fuck you want, do it on your own, then. Obviously my opinion means nothing to you, nor the efforts I put into your unappreciative ass," Law snapped at him, pushing his head away and turning and walking off with a furious curse that rang out at the streets.

Sanji watched him go, face scrunched with a glare. "You can't always get your way!" he shouted after him.

"Fuck you, Sanji."

Frustrated, Sanji exhaled shortly, stuffing his fists into his jacket pockets. When the other man disappeared around the corner of the street over, Sanji began walking again, heading home.

Minutes later, he realized he didn't know how to get home. He stood there at a crosswalk, looking around himself, looking for something familiar. Traffic rolled by at quiet intervals, and snow plows took to the street to clear away recently fallen powder. People shuffled by on the sidewalks, taking careful steps over the salty walkway. He wiped his mouth and chin with irritation. He didn't have his phone. As he watched the lights change, and the tiny green man flash, he followed the instructions and crossed the road, then made a tentative right. Then a left, sure he'd recognize at least one of the buildings he passed. But everything looked different at night. And he didn't remember ever venturing to this section of the city with the others. The high rise towers in the faint distance told him he was on the other side of the city that was near the river, so he figured if he followed them, he'd find the river, and from there find the way to the condo. But walking the long distance did nothing for his thoughts.

The streets turned and twisted into different sights, and downtown became too clustered – homeless people wandered up to him, asking for handouts, accusing him of wrongdoing. There were police and an ambulance parked nearby, attending to a man that had fallen off his bike. There were screams coming from a nearby parking garage, but they were only teenagers running through the levels. Airplanes soared overhead, causing the glass to shudder down below. Lanes widened to accompany freeway entrances and exits, and he realized he had no idea where he was at all.

Emotion built in his chest. He was pretty sure his previous self would have known how to get home, would have never left without his phone. But the bitterness that built in him as he walked, his feet growing sore in shoes that were too stiff for long distance walking, was only accompanied with a growing sense of alarm and despair. For as long as he continued to fight off the familiar 'fantasy' in his imagined life, he needed to depend on others. He couldn't do this on his own. He looked at the street signs, hands shaking as he lit a cigarette. He didn't recognize any of the names, and though the high rises were close by, there was still a freeway that separated him from them. Buildings turned into grand houses, with fenced in properties. Parking garages turned into yards. Dogs barked. The residential area turned into school zones and parks full of snowmen.

He looked around himself, smoke stinging his eyes. A police car pulled up to the curb, and two uniformed men left the vehicle, moving up to a house where a sobbing woman sat on the stairs. The confrontation of a man lingering in the doorway and the officers turned into a shouting match, and Sanji continued on because it had nothing to do with him. Houses turned into strip malls and wide lanes of traffic. Fast food restaurants lined the sidewalk, brilliant signs inviting and warm. But he realized he was lost, and the terrible drop of his stomach made him wince as he recognized nothing. He swallowed tightly, tossing aside his filter. Then found a bus stop bench and sat slowly, staring out at the street with apprehension and a strong sense of timidity that stung his pride. Snow fell softly, and he looked up and down the street, waiting for something to happen. Waiting for a sign. Waiting for help.

When it didn't come, he pulled his elbows to his knees and rested his head in his hands. He felt frustrated, lost and alone, and all the feelings threatened to pour out, again. He heard a small slide of sound, and looked over to seeing a scared face looking at him from the other side of the bench.

It startled him for a moment, thinking he was looking at someone's stray pet. But once he realized how round and focused those dark eyes were, the appearance of a winter sweater on his back and a thick, heavy scarf around his furry neck, Sanji straightened up on the bench with a relieved expression. "Hi."

It took a few moments for the little creature to respond, trembling slightly as he searched for any sign of aggression in Sanji's features. But once he realized Sanji had none of those in his posture or tone of voice, he said shakily, "Hi, Sanji. What are you doing out here?"

Sanji looked around himself, watching traffic pass by at a near crawl because of overly cautious drivers. Then, with a pathetic smile, he answered, "I'm lost."

Relaxing just slightly, Chopper shifted his head a little to look at him, observing the slumped posture and tired features in the other's face. Blue nose wiggling, he continued to search for any indication of a threat to his wellbeing, considering the circumstances that had occurred. But the man truly looked helpless at the moment, and there was something odd about his demeanor, compared to the bright, cheery teen that he'd been when Chopper had last seen him.

"I'm sorry. Why don't you call for help?"

"I don't have my phone. I left it at home."

"That's unusual. You always had it on you."

"But I'm not myself, anymore."

Chopper stepped just a little further into Sanji's vision, looking at him with concern. Guilt made his own features heavy, a frown turning his mouth into a trembling mess. He rested his furry chin on the bench, peering up at him with sad eyes. "I'm so sorry. Um, the bus stops running here at this time. It won't start until five a.m. I…I would like to help, but…I can't be outside for very long. You understand why, right?"

"It'll be fine, Chopper, right now I'm on my own. Come sit with me."

"But you might kill me. For what Dr Hiluluk did. After he took you away, he never came back. Dr Kureha was always afraid that there would be retaliation done because of it. I tried to stop him that night, Sanji. I'm so sorry. Not long after that, Kureha started giving me special tea to help me forget, because I worried so much. But she was worried that Zeff would kill me because of Dr Hiluluk. After that…not long after that, she passed away. And I was on my own. I didn't remember what had happened until a year ago, when I saw Zeff near the harbor. He looked so sad, then. I had thought you were dead. But I couldn't say anything because Kureha had told me he would kill me."

Sanji stared at him for several moments, then patted the bench next to him. "We have something in common, then. It sounds like we're in the same boat. I was given the same tea, and I forgot all about myself. That's why I'm lost."

"Kureha had said it was meant to give dreams weight. Dr Hiluluk's dreams were full of adventure. What was yours, Sanji?"

"I was a pirate."

"Me, too! I was a doctor for a pirate crew! A real life doctor! I knew everything about the position, Sanji! I could fix anybody!" Chopper said excitedly, then pulled back with a worried face. "But then I woke up, and it took me a long time to realize that I wasn't."

"What have you been doing all this time?"

"Mm, not much. Just staying out of sight. I only come out at night around here. I stay in abandoned houses, and fix homeless people." "That does it. I've decided. You're going to come home with me, then."

"I can't do that, Sanji. I was responsible for that sad look on Zeff's face that day. I couldn't do anything to help return you to him when Dr Hiluluk – he was out of his mind. I couldn't fix him. Nothing we said mattered to him. The guilt must've affected Kureha so much, that was probably why she passed away. I don't expect forgiveness for what we've done," Chopper said sadly.

"You don't expect it, but you've got it. We have something in common, Chopper. A lot of things, actually. I'm glad that I ran into you, tonight. I wanted to find you and Kureha, and – "

"I can't accept your forgiveness, Sanji," Chopper said, backing away from the bench. "What was done was terrible. I don't know what Dr Hiluluk did to you all this time, but it's not something that can be forgiven so easily. I'm glad you're okay, though."

"Listen, Chopper – have you been in contact with Dr Hiluluk?"

"No. No, after…after that, he…he never did answer our calls. And Kureha said that he told her he would…if we tried to see him. She wouldn't say, but she wouldn't – then she passed away, and…I don't know where he works. If you see him, though, is it possible for me to talk to him?" Chopper asked, looking at him hopefully.

Sanji winced, looking at his hands. "Um…that's not possible. He…he passed away, too. Recently."

"Oh." Chopper's head lowered, and his hooves clicked lightly on the sidewalk as he stepped back once more.

Sanji stood, and the little reindeer quickly shifted away, moving into a position to run, so Sanji held his hands up, indicating that he wasn't a threat. "Come home with me. There's plenty of room. You shouldn't have to live on the streets, like this," Sanji insisted. "Because of what was done, you and I should stick together."

"How did he die, Sanji?" Chopper asked him instead, looking at him suspiciously. "You're back, and I understand that your family is…part of the syndicate life. Did Zeff kill him?"

"No."

Chopper looked up at him, waiting for more. Sanji exhaled heavily, and sat back down, resting his shaking hands between his knees. He needed another dosage, tasting metal at the back of his tongue. Despite the chilly temperatures, his hairline began to bead with moisture. His stomach felt upset.

"To be honest, I did," he confessed quietly. He stared at the high rise towers in the distance, feeling the slow throb began to build in his legs, an unfamiliar soreness to them causing vague discomfort. He heard Chopper's low gasp. "Because I lost three years of my life thinking I was a pirate. Because I missed my high school graduation, missed seeing my friends obtain all the things that I should have…my driver's license, college acceptance, culinary school…I should be in San Francisco right now, living out my dream of becoming one of the area's greatest cooks, and having the old man proud of me for it. I should be married, with a kid on the way, with the promise of a house with a white picket fence saved to my goals on my phone. I should have a dog named Momo.

"But I don't have any of those things. I have a boyfriend who loves me, but I never thought of myself as 'gay', so I couldn't accept his feelings the way that I used to. Dr Hiluluk created a trigger inside of me, so whenever I see Zeff, I try to kill him on sight. And if I do succeed, I'll end up killing myself right after, because that's what Dr Hiluluk wanted as revenge. I have these friends I don't know, anymore, because I was trained to see them as this pirate crew, and not these…real people. Who aren't part of my life, anymore. "I killed him because he killed me, and he threatened to kill those I loved through the use of my own limbs. It doesn't matter how he was killed. He was removed because there was no saving him as a person, and because I felt he had no remorse for the things he threatened. I'm sorry, Chopper. I understand he was your father figure. I can't imagine that sort of…"

He looked up when he realized Chopper was running away from him, crying in the night. It made his chest tight, and his throat dry. His own eyes welled with frustrated and helpless tears, but he didn't let them drop. He looked back up at the towers in the distance and clenched his fists, struggling to let the pain of the situation go away.

An hour later, he looked up as Chopper returned, head low. Sanji sat with his shoulders hunched, feeling icy all over. His jaw felt tight, but his teeth chattered noisily. He'd gone through all his cigarettes, the filters laying at his feet, but he didn't want to move because he felt if he did, he'd get lost even further in the edges of the city. So when Chopper returned, he felt relieved at seeing a familiar face.

Chopper looked at him for a few moments, then changed into a humanoid form. The sweater adjusted with him, and the bench creaked as his weight caused it to shift, Sanji nearly losing his balance.

"You don't smell too good," Chopper said to him cautiously. "It's very strong."

"I need medicine. It's at home. But the more I sit here without it, the more these things return to me," Sanji said, teeth chattering. "I'm remembering things I can't see when I have it. I can see the street names to my home, but I can't seem to remember how to get there."

Chopper fiddled with his fingers, looking down at them with worry. "Did he suffer?"

"I can't answer that. I don't want to talk about his death."

"He raised me, Sanji."

"But he abandoned you, too."

"I admit, he was driven to revenge. He talked about his wife all the time. He missed her. He regretted his life choices, but he never regretted being involved with her. I'm sure he regretted using you to get revenge against the actual person who harmed him, but…hate and anger do so many things to a person. You can't sort it out."

Sanji nodded, sniffling.

"Yep."

Chopper looked up at the night sky, his large shoulders slumped. "Maybe he didn't make all the right choices in life, but…he loved me. I guess not enough to make sure I was safe. Or cared for. So maybe he didn't."

"He regretted letting his madness take over. I hope that in time, you forgive me, too. You asked that I break the cycle, but I couldn't. I'm not that strong of a person. If you chose your revenge, all I ask is that it satisfy you to your heart, and not your mind. If you feel it in your soul to do so, then it's a revenge worth taking."

Chopper snorted.

"Once upon a time, I was a doctor. I saved people. I didn't take their lives away. I won't do that. I think I need time and understanding in order to accept his death. I understand that's how the world works."

"Then, in the meantime, come live with me. With us. Maybe we were lost in our delusions, but we can find true adventure with friends."

"Delusions are really difficult to break free, from, Sanji. It took me a long time to let go of mine. But I admit, I haven't really forgotten. I just…I need some time to accept his death. His madness."

"I understand."

"Let me take you home, Sanji. You don't smell too good. It smells like you'll be sick," Chopper then said gently. "I'm sure you have people worried about you."

"It's my own fault for wandering off. But I'm glad I did. I really wanted to talk to you, Chopper."

"Maybe it was fate, then, that I saw you walking past me. I didn't think it was you, at first, I'll never forget Zeff's sad face – but I'm glad you did. I feel a little better about it, now. Knowing you're alive."

"Me, too, about you," Sanji said, looking up at him with relief. "I hope we can become friends. But I won't take it badly if you decide to kill me, one day. I'd understand."

"Stop saying that," Chopper scolded, standing up, and helping him stand, too. "I won't be killing anybody. I just hope your family doesn't kill me for what Dr Hiluluk did."

"They won't. I made them promise," Sanji said cheerfully, wiping his hairline.

With much doubt and uncertainty, Chopper nodded, but he changed into the small reindeer form he was more comfortable with, pulling his scarf over his antlers and head so he wouldn't look so outlandish. Then he called for an Uber on his cellphone.

Nearly twenty minutes later, Sanji picked up the small reindeer and held him securely in his arms, exhaling heavily as Chopper looked at him with worry, trembling slightly. Sanji gave him a reassuring smile, then entered the condo swiftly, feeling nauseated and dizzy as he did so.

The moment he did so, Shachi looked at him with a relieved expression, leaping up from the couch and then giving Chopper a mystified look. "You're in so much trouble right now, I can't even say how much," Shachi then told Sanji, hands on his hips.

"It's his fault for being such an asshole."

"And you're sick, so when he finds out, he's going to be even more pissed! I will take up on his offer for a hotel for the night so I don't have to see the savage mauling that will take place!"

"'Mauling'?" Chopper cried in terror, clinging to Sanji's jacket.

"It speaks?" Shachi asked, poking at the reindeer's furry cheek before Chopper tried to bite him. "It bites! Throw it outside! What is it, anyway?"

"Chopper, this is Shachi. Shachi, Chopper. Chopper is my new house guest. He will be treated with much respect and courteousness as Bepo has been," Sanji said, holding onto Chopper tightly as Shachi started texting. Chopper froze because he sensed a shift in Sanji's personality and the feel of his arms – as if preparing for a fight.

"Bepo didn't earn his respect for years," Shachi warned Chopper. "That brown nosing bear had it coming so many times! It was only when we realized that we couldn't kill him that we finally respected him! How hard is it to kill you?"

"Back off, ass," Sanji warned, kicking him lightly as Chopper looked at him with worry. "Don't worry, Chopper, this one only barks tough. He runs strictly on fear and sugar cookies."

"Sugar cookies?" Chopper repeated, sounding hopeful. Because that sounded like a request, Sanji turned to the kitchen to feed him, Shachi following out of curiosity because he hadn't even checked the cupboards or fridge for anything to eat since he'd arrived.

But before they could step into the kitchen, Law appeared in front of him, Bepo right behind him. Bepo growled at the sight of Chopper in Sanji's arms; Sanji held him tightly as Law looked at him murderously, and Shachi cried out with fright, startled by their sudden appearance.

"Where have you been, you fucking brat? I turn around and you're gone! Look at you!"

"I'm back! And don't call me a fucking brat when you fucking left me!"

"You told me to take a walk!"

"Off a short pier, dumb ass!"

With frustration, Law saw that Sanji had his arms wrapped tightly around Chopper, holding him like a child between them. If he even tried to touch the creature, Sanji would probably kick him into next week. Chopper was looking from him to Bepo with immense fright, shaking violently with wide eyes – while definitely surprising that Sanji had returned with the animal hybrid, it wasn't that that bothered him. It was Sanji's appearance, and with much irritation, he forced his hands down to his sides, Bepo growling over his shoulder with such menacing action that Shachi hid behind Sanji.

"What's this?" Law asked slowly, feeling his face tighten with expectation.

"He found me and brought me home. A little appreciation would be nice," Sanji answered stubbornly.

"No one was able to find him or Kureha after all this time, and this happens to be an accident?"

"Yep. And he's going to live with us, now."

Bepo stopped growling and Shachi watched Law for his reaction. Sure enough, Law looked at Sanji with growing confusion. Sanji tightened his hold on Chopper, the reindeer burying his face against his jacket, trembling as fear caused him distress.

"Oh? He is?"

"Kureha passed on not long after I was taken. She was giving him the same stuff Dr Hiluluk gave me so that he would forget what he'd witnessed. As a result, we understand each other. He wasn't involved in the entire thing, and it's not his fault. He has no where else to go, and he was living on the street. So now, he'll be living with us. He was unable to approach either of you because of the guilt he felt in being unable to say anything."

"So instead of him feeling guilty for helping fuck you up, you take him in because you feel guilty that he feels guilty. Classic Sanji. We have a strict no pet policy, here."

"I'm not a pet!" Chopper said against Sanji's chest. "I'm a reindeer!"

"We have a strict no reindeer policy, here."

"Then we'll find our own place," Sanji said. "I have no problem living on the street. We can take care of each other."

"Bepo, take me to Denny's," Shachi said. "Because I have a feeling World War 3 will start off in t-minus 20 seconds."

"Oh, certainly. I'm quite famished myself," Bepo said cheerfully, pulling out his truck keys.

"Traitors," Law said, frowning after them. "Leaving me with no backup."

"You're a grown man, handle your wife," Shachi said.

"Why is he the wife?" Law asked.

"Why am I the wife?" Sanji asked indignantly.

"Both of you talk it out like women!" Shachi said impatiently, saluting him as he and Bepo left the place with a slam of the door.

Law frowned at Sanji, crossing his arms tightly over his chest. Then he gave Chopper a menacing stare, the reindeer once more burying his head against Sanji in an effort to escape the expression.

"Well, you can be the wife because you're the hole in this relationship – "

"STOP!" Sanji exclaimed trying to cover Chopper's ears with his crossed arms, his face reddening.

"Look, enough. You did a stupid thing tonight, let that be the end of it. I hope I was proven right," Law said, glaring down at him. Then frowned at Chopper once more. "Put him down."

"NO. I don't want you touching him until you agree with me."

"I won't touch him."

"Promise me you won't touch him."

"I won't touch him. In front of you."

"AT ALL. And neither will the others! You made a promise to me that you'll keep to your word, you knew I wanted to talk to him."

"Okay. Fine. Whatever. Go put him in the bathroom, or whatever, you and I need to talk."

"He needs medicine," Chopper said, barely turning his head. "I can smell the chemicals coming through his skin."

"Not yet," Sanji said firmly. "At this point, I remember things. A little bit. I want to talk like this, and not under the influence."

"At this point, will you even remember what we've talked about? The significance of it?" Law questioned.

"Of course!"

"Then put him down. He's probably uncomfortable with the smells, and you're squishing him."

"I promise I won't touch him or take him to Zeff," he then added with irritation as Sanji stared at him suspiciously. He narrowed his eyes as Sanji slowly crouched and set Chopper down on the floor, the reindeer hiding behind him, peering through his legs up at him. With as much as a menacing expression as he could exude at that moment – which was pretty intense - Law said to him, "But I can't promise that Zeff won't make a rug out of him once he gets him."

"He won't touch him, either, not when I'm here," Sanji snapped at him. "Stop talking to him like that. he was there when you weren't."

"He sure was. he took you to Dr Hiluluk to have your mind screwed up."

"Shut up about that! Stop talking about that! We're not talking about it – Chopper and I have talked it out, and it's good between us," Sanji said firmly. "I want to take him in. I'll take care of him. He has nobody else. I'm the only one he can rely on, right now."

Law looked at him with much disgust. For a moment, as Sanji stood there with his arms tightly crossed, stubborn expression to his face, it horrified him to realize that he vaguely looked like Corazon when Corazon had set his foot down. Then he realized that this was probably what Doflamingo looked at when Corazon decided he was going to keep a homeless child. Probably used the same argument too.

It killed him that they were right, that he had taken after Doflamingo, despite all his protests and refusal to see the truth. His uncle had more of an influence on him than he ever wanted to admit.

Sanji watched with confusion as immense horror hit the other man's face, as some internal battle raged in him. Law looked utterly undone at that moment, expression turning panicked. He even had an arm raised to his face, like he was trying to either protect himself or hide his expression.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked flatly.

"N-nothing," Law said heavily, looking at him. "Okay. Enough threats. Fine. Do what you want. But this thing between us needs to be addressed."

"And? I thought you were done with me. you told me I had to do this on my own."

"I did. And I went for a walk because you piss me off so much, I can't think straight. But never did I say I was 'done' with you. Why would you even think that?"

"That way you said it. The way you spoke to me. And we're fighting like this because we can't agree with each other on how I should be living my own life, and I expect that there will be more of it to come as I get my mind back," Sanji said tightly, suddenly feeling emotionally overhwlemed. "Why would you want to continue doing this with me?"

"Sanji, stupid. Look at me. We're going to fight. A lot. We are going to disagree on everything, and anything because that's how we are. You're always going to be a stubborn brat, and I'm going to be a stubborn ass. That's just how it is. That's how it's always been. You're not afraid to tell me I'm an ass and challenge everything I say or do – and I will always do what I think is right and safe for you because I want you with me all the time. That's just how it is. So for you to think that I'd leave you because you're not doing what I tell you you should be doing, then what the fuck is up with that? Why are you admitting defeat so easily like that?"

"Because I'm not myself, anymore. I don't know if you still like me the way you used to," Sanji confessed heavily.

"You're still Sanji Blackleg, the girly brat that keeps following me around, and while you might think a little differently, you're still him! Fuck, Sanji, I'm still going to tell you what you should be doing and how you should be doing it, but the only time you really listen to my instruction is when you're panting and moaning underneath - !"

"AH!" Sanji shouted, reaching out and slapping his mouth shut with both hands while looking back at Chopper with mortification, but Chopper was looking at him with concern.

"Ugh, your big yaoi hands smell like wet fur," Law complained, pushing them away.

"Asthma?" Chopper asked tentatively.

"Severe asthma when he's excited," Law said to him.

"Keep it G–rated, you bastard!" Sanji snarled at him, pushing him.

"Momo doesn't know what that means, he's a reindeer," Law told him patiently.

"His name's Chopper!"

"It's Tony Chopper, you ass," Chopper said to Law, then trembled when the man glared at him.

"Whatever. The point is – "

"You'll stop be so controlling?"

"No, that's just my personality. The point is – "

"You won't touch him."

"Let me finish. The point is – "

"You were a total ass tonight?'

"Sanji, you mother homo. Never mind. Go clean that thing up, I can smell it from here. You walk it when it needs it and you clean up the hay it eats, potty train it if possible, and if I start sneezing and breaking out in a rash because of it, you're taking it to the animal shelter and personally watching it get euthanized."

Chopper looked up at Sanji with a teary expression, and Sanji lifted him up into his arms with a scowl in Law's direction. Law then went to the kitchen to measure out the meds Caesar had made for Sanji, grumbling about white picket fences and who was the model wife in the relationship. He heard the bathtub running and Chopper's protests in that he didn't like water – the sounds of the activity made him feel funny. It was too domestic.

He was twisting the cap back on the bottle when he felt Sanji come up behind him and embrace him from there.

"We decided that you're not the seme of this relationship, Sanji."

"Shut up."

"Your pet's going to drown if not monitored."

"It's only a little bit, and it's running. I think he's like you guys – water makes him weak. There's still more to learn about him."

"Here, drink," Law ordered, turning around and tipping the cup to Sanji's lips. But he tightened them, not drinking just yet. "Drink it."

"Law…do you like me?" Sanji asked low, feeling his cheeks redden slightly while the fever made standing uncomfortable.

"Enough to make sure you don't die. Drink it."

"How much?"

"Sanji, obviously more than enough to let it slide for three years."

"That's not what I want to hear. After all that."

"Yes, I like you more than the average person," Law said with exasperation. "Enough to overlook all your bad points. All the bad points that make me want to run you over with a car and back over you for assurance. Open wide."

"Maybe you like me more than that. Maybe there's a different word for it."

"I'm a little more fond of you than I am of Bepo, then. I can do dirty things to you and not be accused of sick things."

Sanji bit him, causing him to yelp and pull away, rubbing his shoulder. "Try harder."

"I'm not into bears, Sanji. I thought this was obvious when I started molesting you." Sanji wondered if he meant a different sort of 'bear', because Law said it oddly, but he couldn't be sure with that face of his. But he looked up at him with expectation, waiting to hear from him what he wanted to hear.

"Do you need me to bring you a thesaurus?" he asked thinly.

"You know what that is?"

"I know your passcode to your phone. I will sign you up for Facebook and post some of the most incriminating pictures I have and have Doffy be your only Friend. Now, tell me how much you like me."

Law reached out with his free hand to brush some of his sweat heavy hair from his face, revealing slightly glassy eyes, a feverish flush that clashed just slightly with the pink of his shirt. He leaned down and kissed his forehead, then his eyelids, before giving him a firm kiss, tasting the slight metallic tinge that came from his saliva. He would definitely have to wait a little longer before pouncing on him again.

But that only meant another chance, another time, another plot.

"I love you, brat. You feel better?"

"Yeah," Sanji said with a happy smile. "Maybe if you'd said it before I started talking, I wouldn't have dragged this out so much."

"Point noted," Law said. Sanji took the cup from him and sipped the contents with reluctance. It took a few moments before he started to lose sight of the world as it was before him, and while he still felt sick, he felt the familiar sensation of sea motion, a constant movement that was noticeable on land. It was only the firing of hallucinogens taking place, and he became familiar with his surroundings as the place he was getting used to, no longer a pirate at sea – but a pirate forced to stay on land, forced away from dreams and goals and a life that hadn't been there at all.

But this time, the man standing in front of him with an upset frown wasn't that quiet, sullen man that he'd known as an anti-social strategist – he was a man Sanji had fallen in love with because he'd always been in love with him, and instincts didn't lie.

When Chopper emerged from the hall and was rubbing himself with a towel to get dry, it took him a few moments to know who he was. Sanji saw the reindeer as the doctor of the Sunny, and felt relieved that he'd returned from his own mysterious disappearance. At the same time, there was the vague understanding that Chopper had always been a part of his knowledge – just remembered differently. He was relieved that he was there, and yet curious to know how.

"Sanji. I love you," Law said, almost reminding him, and Sanji remembered that he'd said that before.

He looked at him with a smile, Chopper sniffing at him suspiciously with a furrowed brow.

Sanji reached out and hugged Law stiffly, then eased into the spot his body knew well, feeling Law hold him tight.

"I love you, too, jerk. Too much."