Relearning to Breath chapter 25

Book 2

Some Adjustments Might Be Necessary…

000

The next months were spent in setting up their home. A decision to add a swimming pool in the back yard along with the other toys for the water Dwellers (and the Gran Highblood was looking into ways of attaching the water source to the river to allow for Eridan's Lusus to have closer access to his ward.) They figured out how to wrangle so many children. All very different in their personalities, Eridan was very needy, he needed a lot of reassurance that he was not just a tag along, but was also utterly smitten and devoted to the young Empress. Feferi was such a bubbly personality. Full of kisses and bringing home every 'stray' she got her hands on. Including, one point, a baby skunk. That ended up as a rather smelly fiasco. Although the house was getting an ever growing collection of kittens and injured or baby animals she wanted to take care. Most they took down to the wild life center. But one baby bird she was currently feeding and looking forward to releasing when it got bigger.

Anatol on the other hand was a completely wild child. Climbing everything she could manage. Twisting herself into pretzels that even boggled the other children. Bath time with her was still a trial on every adult. She was closest to Tavros and Gamzee. Tav seemed to be her favorite 'toy' and Gamzee seemed to somehow become the only other adult outside her Lusus who could get her to do anything when she planted her feet and crossed her arms. Even if that meant just bodily picking her up and giving her a toss in the direction he wanted her to go.

Tavros was much as he was as a grub. Overflowing with joy and happiness. A wide eyed innocence that infected his giggles and in turn set off everyone around him. He loved to draw and this included every bit of wall space, banister, and furniture he could get to before anyone could put a stop to his artist adventures off of the page. Eric being the only human child tended to be the butt of Eridan's jealousy as the other water dweller was able to sense the bond between boy and Empress and seemed to resent it. But Eric was so determined to be the other boy's friend that one could tell the young troll was utterly torn in his emotions towards the other boy.

And the two girls ended up half the time at eachother's throats. Feferi got along with most everyone she met, but Ana had such a stubborn streak that she would do things just to piss off the other girl. It had all started over trying to sort out the color for the girl's room. Fef wanted bright colors like pink or purple. Ana though; wanted sky blue. They had argued until the only answer was to separate them. Letting Fef have the room to herself and Ana got put into the basement room with Sirius. Down there she was able to have as much blue as she wanted.

Then Fef had decided to play with the bunny plush that Ana tended to carry about with her no matter were she went to. Ana had left it to watch TV with Eri and Eric while she found a snack. And when she came back Fef had been sitting in its spot waving the doll about in the air by one leg. Saying 'Fly bunny fly!'

The other girl had jumped to grab it back, the young empress had cluched onto the toy in an automatic response.

And all the children heard the rip.

Ana had gone into a rage and attempted to rip out Feferi's hair. The other had in turn tried to go for the eyes. Eric had tried to jump in and separate them, which resulted in a few bites and bruises. Which both girls had been sorry about after. But Eri had run to get an adult.

Jade dumped a bucket of water over the girl's heads. Which stopped them like drowned kittens, and Sirius had literately sat on Ana. Who once she was done spitting rage mewled for her plush and curled up into the fur of her Lusus and wept brokenly.

Jade had gotten, mostly out of the boys, what happened and forced Feferi to apologize, but that didn't go as well as hoped when the girls decided to become mortal enemies instead.

When Hope had heard all this, she could only stare at Karkat and go 'you guys start that nonsense early don't you?' He'd only spluttered over it.

But Hope was going to go and talk with Fef, about the plush and the color blue for Ana's sake. If only because she knew Ana was going to be too angry to talk to for awhile. They would let Sirius calm her down and get Gamzee to talk to her when he got home.

She stopped outside Fef's incredibly pink and bubbly room to hear several voices already inside.

"Wow Fef, you were being a bit harsh." The voice was Eridan's, he had been developing an almost floaty accent she hoped wasn't going to get him teased in school. Partly it was the way his gills formed around his neck, never quite closing so that it often echoed certain sounds.

"She's so mean! I was only playing with that stupid toy, it wouldn't have broke if she hadn't of yanked on it! And Momma Jade made me apologize! I didn't do anything wrong! It was all her fault!" Feferi was seated on her bed hugging a pillow tightly.

"Do you remember what happened to us Fef? Cause... I do." Eric's voice was oddly subdued. The close to five year old was being incredibly mature at the moment.

Feferi made a sudden squeak hiding her face into her pillow and Eridan tilted his head in confusion. He was crashed into the beanbag chair in the corner of the other girl's room. "What, are you talking about Eric?"

"Before you came, several of us got taken by some very bad people. Momma, Karkat and Gamzee came for us, as well as Uncle Highblood."

Hope grinned and wondered if it was the Grand Highbood himself who told the boy to call him uncle, he was weird enough to like the head breaky that would cause.

"That, sounds terrible" Eri said softly leaning forward intent on the story "So you and Fef?"

"And Ana. Ana was there too. She and another grub, who's blood was the color of the sky."

Eridan blinked "Blue?"

"Sky blue." Eric nodded.

Eridan rubbed at his eyes, being on the land tended to make it difficult for him to focus. He was better at seeing in the water. "Wow, what happened to the other one? I mean, I don't recall hearing about any pale blue bloods."

"The grub died." Fef said softly sinking further into herself as if she was feeling horrible for forgetting "They were sharing a cocoon space and the blue one died."

"Oh" was all Eri managed.

"They had shared everything. Including." The boy gave Feferi a stern look that mimicked his mother "A certain pink bunny toy."

Feferi suddenly broke into tears. "I didn't know she remembered! I barely remember, I… don't' want to remember!"

Eri and Eric moved to either side of the girl and gave her a one armed hug "You should find a way to say you're sorry." Eric said "Ana's too stubborn to accept just an apology so we should come up with something really nice to do for her!"

"Yeah, that is a great idea Eric" Eridan echoed.

And Hope had left the children to their plotting, feeling oddly heavy. That had been a much deeper conversation than children their age should be able to have. They should all be concerned with coloring books and getting excited over bumble bees and crawfish from around the river. Not talking about bad people and death. She heard Gamzee come in next door and when she went over, Karkat was explaining about what happened. The other troll had nodded and giving Hope a brief hug in passing. She stopped him a quick moment "Eric has gotten Fef to feel really bad about what she did. So an apology is in the works,"

He gave her a nod, he looked tired "I'll talk with her. Get her to see a bit of sense. Can't have a future juggallette all mad at her empress, that could get messy." He commented.

"I bet" Hope said and he gave her a kiss on the forehead before heading off to the other side and the basement room Ana shared with her Lusus.

000

Aside from feeding the whole lot of them, Hope felt that the other greatest expense in the household was clothing the lot of the growing children. Even Eric was hitting a growth spurt, and the wigglers were all gaining a good amount of weight and bulk in their first few months before they slowed into something considered a more 'normal' growth among humans. Currently they all were shooting from toddlers to something closer to resembling Eric in age. Feferi had a couple months start on everyone else, so she currently looked the eldest out of the troll children. Karkat and Jade spent much of their time going over the numbers and recrunching to pay the bills and keep the children clothed and fed. Most troll groups only had to deal with one child, their group had five children. All with different needs and for one a higher level of security around the property.

Hope stared at Sirius as she looked at a pair of shoes that Ana had literately walked her way right out of in under a week, she'd gotten them a couple size large in hopes they would last longer, "How do you manage this sort of thing before coming to earth?" she asked the lusus, who gave her his doggy chuckle and projected to her;

The Old Empress ordered the young ones care to be a priority. All was provided until they were old enough to provide for themselves.

She shook her head, like that was ever going to happen on Earth. At least, not in a country like the USA that was more concerned with a dollar than care of its people. "Ana needs new shoes, again, and" Hope glanced out the window and looked towards the ceiling as if asking for patients "And another bath, all of them do."

Sirius glanced out and she heard his rumbling clicking laughter.

Outside the children seemed to have decided to 'garden'. Jade and Hope had been digging up a few patches of grass for the creation of garden spots. For flowers, shrubs, and some vegetables.

Currently the children were in one such plot with the water hose and turning it into a swampy mud bath.

Were Feferi was currently sitting on Eridan while Eric tried to talk her out of whatever she was doing, to which the young empress responded by lobbing a particularly messy glob at the human boy. Who narrowed his eyes and lobbed one back. While that corner of the mud pit devolved into a three way war, Ana had painted herself to look like Gamzee with the mud and was forcing Tavros to endure the same treatment.

Sirius got up and oozed his way out of the house to go herd the children out of the mud. And likely put another use to that water hose of at least getting them to be a little less muddy when they drug them all inside and attempted to get the mud out from all the various improbable places they likely got it.

Hope sighed. Karkat had finally got his hours settled after long months of arguing and fighting with his superiors. After his little scare a few months back when they tried to fire one of his favorites, they hadn't tried getting their noses too far into his department.

Nor had they tried to fire him. Something was up on that one. John had told Karkat he found a money trail that seemed to have led to a small group of majority investors, but that was the only trail he had and it dead ended.

Gamzee began to spend longer hours doing jobs for the Grand Highblood. Most of the time it was fine, but periodically he came home very late, in a dark mood and smelling strongly of blood. Usually he went straight to his room and no one saw him until the next day sometime when he could be more like himself.

Jade reinvested some money, her own and including any amount of cash the others wished to contribute. And with others to help watch the children as times she also picked herself up a part-time job at a nearby connivance store. Stocking shelves and tending costumers for a few hours for a little extra money and a bit of time away from the kids.

While Tav didn't have to be nearly so on top of Hope as he had as a grub, the distance they could be apart before it got uncomfortable was still a short few mile radius, so Hope tended to stay home. She had her writing and everyone gave her enough of a break she could keep several ongoing projects going for various clients and pulled in a little extra money. Or she could pile the children all into the new van they had picked up to be able to hold the whole group when heading for outings to the zoo or other activity. (Which also required a leash for Ana, or she would be climbing into the pen with the lions and likely scaring the poor beasts, or trying to get on top of the giant pile of television sets at the art museum, or well… getting any distance away from the adults in general, the child was a terror.)

Trillian's was right on the end of the distance that Hope and Tavros could handle. So at least once a week Gamzee would drag her down to the club with him to dance and unwind. Other than dancing, she tended to spend most her time up on the VIP staring down at the crowd and listening to the music. After the time a small group had tried to corner her, a troll and human group of drunks looking for a bit of fun, and Gamzee had broken a few skulls over the matter the Highblood deemed it was safer for his patrons as well as Hope to stay where he could keep her under watch. Hope figured it was more of the safety of the patrons than for her part. Not that she minded, the bonus she got was not having to fight by the bar for drinks, Unique or Sollux would bring them to her. Hell, the Highblood gave her a tab so she didn't even have to pay for the drinks! Which meant she more often than not needed to call Karkat for a ride home as neither she nor Gamzee were near sober enough to drive and Gamzee didn't even have a license. The shape of his horns tended to make driving difficult because he had to lean his seat so far back for most cars (or something without a roof). And there was no point for a gas guzzling tank when there were at least three others who could drive for him. The rest of the time, he walked. His long legs just had a way of eating the distance and he always made surprisingly good time.

Karkat teased Hope about being a cheap drunk. Just two or three drinks later and she was plastered for the night. And that was the 'fruity girly drinks' she often asked for. She rolled her eyes, but usually did her best to have no more than two drinks over the course of the whole evening. Mainly because while Gamzee never took advantage of her while she was an utter giggly drunk, she had more than once woken on the couch in various states of half dress and snuggled to a Gamzee body pillow.

Screams of the kids being hit by the water hose turned on them by Sirius, Hope got up and found things like spare clothing and towels. She was going to have to do a load of laundry after this. The kids were already short on clothing and now they were going to run even shorter on what they did have that still fit. At least troll fashion senses often ran towards simple lines. Jeans, tshirts and not a whole lot more. While Feferi preferred bright colors and floaty materials they could still dress her just like the other kids most the time. Attaching the symbol decals was always the biggest issue; it meant that getting rid of their clothing after was more difficult because each piece had to be so personalized. Until they were adults each child had to wear their colored symbols. They were easy ways to identify color and placement among the little ones until they were old enough that their eyes took on the color of their blood.

And since each symbol was practically individual with only certain lineages (Hope had no clue how this was figured other than if a troll showed up and everyone went 'hey that looks like…') would share a symbol. Gamzee shared his astrological symbol with the Grand Highblood. Being there were so very few of Feferi's line ALL Empresses received the same symbol regardless.

It was interesting, but also meant that personalized gear couldn't get reused much. And young trolls were incredibly hard on their clothing. (Very likely also the reason for the simple lines preferred, easy to replace and make clothing that didn't take a lot of thought into it) So even if they managed to outgrow something without destroying it, passing it to another wasn't likely to happen.

Hope sighed figuring another run to walmart for tshirts and fabric paints was in order. This time she was just getting the kids all sweatpants. Screw jeans. They were not wearing them long enough to make the purchases worth it. Well and new swim suits. The kids made use of those constantly during these warmer months with Feferi and Eridan around. About the only time they could get Ana willingly to go near water was to take her swimming.

That unforchunately didn't get her clean.

Sirius was herding the children into the house as Hope finished gathering and she sighed "You want the boys or the girls today?" she asked him.

I best take the girls. I have a better than average change of keeping Anatol from streaking down the hallway. I will take the upstairs bath. The larger tub is easier to keep Anatol in.

She chuckled and gathered up the boys "Ok kids! In the bathroom. MARCH!" she separated out the boys and got them all tucked into the bathroom on the main floor. It had the larger walk in shower, so she just got the boys to strip and crawl in. Making sure they had enough soap and cleaning implements to get themselves cleaned off. "Now I'm taking this stuff down to the laundry, I do not expect you boys to come out of that shower until it is running glacier cold. You hear me?" she said.

"Yes Momma Hope" was the chorus and she gathered up the dirty things. At least the boys were easier, they would help each other get clean and Eridan was finicky enough about dirt that he could be trusted to make sure the other two didn't try getting out without washing behind the hears and the back of the neck. She found the piled of girl's clothing outside the bathroom and could hear the hellcat Ana hissing and spitting over being washed. She rolled her eyes and was glad that Sirius was dealing with this one today. Feferi would just clean herself to prove she was better than Ana in that respect, but Ana needed to get sit on.

Hope wrinkled her nose as she went down to the laundry tossing the kids clothing into the washing machine with enough detergent to do at least three loads. It meant she was then going to have to help Sirius get cleaned up afterwards, and he was going to smell like wet dog the rest of the day.

She was going to be washing towels all night.

000

Hope heard the buzzer from the dryer from the doorway she kept open. It was a rare moment of being utterly alone, well Tav was sleeping upstairs. He ended up swallowing more than a little mud likely thanks to Anatol, and was not feeling very well at all. After heaving his guts up in the shower (much to the other boys disgust) Hope had gotten him to drink a little soda and put him to bed. Ana was horribly sorry for the whole matter and stayed by the resting boy until she was drug off by Jade.

Hope had spent most her time drying Sirius after he had gotten the girls clean. He was still on the damp side so chose to take a run for awhile and dry off outside. When Jade got back from her job, she decided to take the kids out for some McDonalds and possibly a movie. She also offered to get the extra clothing they were needing. So taking along kids to be able to fit them for shoes and pants was a good idea.

Which left Hope the rest of the evening to herself. Karkat was still at work and would be for another hour or two, Tav was sleeping off his inadvertent mud pie. Sirius likely would come back around the same time as the kids did with Jade. And she wasn't sure where Gamzee was at the moment, but he likely wouldn't be back for a few more hours either.

So she did laundry, made herself popcorn and put in one of her favorite movies to enjoy without commentary or interruptions. Well, except the laundry, but that was easy to pause go shift things and come back again.

Heading down the stair she blinked as she noticed Gamzee's door open. He must have gotten home, but she made a face at the pile of clothing that started halfway to his door and into the room. She paused and began picking it up. Her face pulled, it smelled like a sewer, and was covered in too many bright colors.

And holding up the vest she found that was pretty much shredded.

Hope pursed her lips and pausing by his doorway heard his shower running. So she quietly closed his door and decided it was best to pretend she hadn't noticed him home.

So she gathered up his clothing and threw what was salvageable into the next wash. It wouldn't take out all the stains, but at least it would take out the smell.

And she transferred the stuff from the washer to the dryer. From the dryer she began folding, humming softly to herself and trying to recall a tune that was floating at the edge of her thoughts. Likely something trollish, but until she managed to grasp the whole of it she couldn't be sure. It was hard sometimes sorting through the troll memories that had a way of blending and mixing with her human ones. Especially since the troll's ended up proving the 'nothing new under the heavens' because so much of their favorite things overlapped with the humans stories and culture. There were just those niggling key differences. Which made for things to not quite fit. Those differences that would either let them co-exist together, or would send them into a war.

Something brushed along her back and she paused and turned, nothing was there. When she turned back she about jumped out of her skin as she found Gamzee perched on the top of the dryer, crouched over the clothing. It took a long moment for her to register that past the smile he wore, his wet hair dripping down his front that he wore nothing but a pair of loose pants he hadn't even bothered to tie and were in danger of slipping off his hips.

Hope blinked, the smile was at least somewhat comforting, it meant he was just being an ass and not being too dark. "Gamzee! Jeeze!" she gave him a narrowed glare, "Stop doing that! Seriously! I'm just finishing up here. I was thinking of making something to eat, would you…" she was cut off though as when she looked up from the towel she had continued to fold she found he had moved closer, his nose nearly touching hers and his eyes an incredibly deep purple that for whatever reason, perhaps some inner animal in her recognized as danger, made her heart pound against her ribcage.

"Gamz.. um.. " she took an unconscious step back, if only because he was so close it made the currently unpainted face in front of her blur.

He matched her step back with moving forward, which forced her to attempt a larger backwards step.

He stepped off the dryer, and the way his smile seemed to widen, his gaze as well told her she was not dealing with a 'safe' Gamzee at the moment.

Oh joy.

Hope stamped her foot and shot herself towards him and for her part was surprised when he actually backed up a moment, the smile fading from his lips for a second. She thought perhaps she managed to convey she was not in the mood for his games. So she made the worst mistake of her life.

She looked away.

It was only a brief moment. The washer was unbalanced and the tub started to bang against the side of the machine. It was automatic.

She suddenly found herself against the wall in such a rush that the breath was forced from her lungs. Hopes hands came up to try and push away but they were gripped and shoved up against the wall above her head. Lifting her off the ground until she winced as the pull on her recently healed break.

"GA-" she never got out more than a gasp of his name before she found his lips upon hers.

Her eyes widened, oh crap. He'd maneuvered until he was using his hip to prop her up against the wall which took the weight off her arms, but did not in any way shape or form stop the little voice in her head that was gibbering like an idiot. The hamster wheel in her head was spinning but the rodent had hit the side of the cage and knocked itself silly.

And it didn't help that what he did felt good. It left her tingling were his breath brushed her skin as he ran his nose and lips along her cheek and down her neck, resting his face against the curve of shoulder. His horns practictly digging grooves down the wall. The rush of fear mixed with the adrenalin leaving her body feeling horribly confused.

Hell, she was feeling horribly confused. She managed to pull one hand free of his grip and very hesitantly she touched the side of his head.

"please" he finally spoke, his voice shaking and oddly pitched. As if he was fighting something. "don't. speak."

She started to say something and bit her lip instead. He rumbled and the sound was dangerous and well with where he was located she couldn't help the intake of breath. The sound hit a core part of her and made her shiver.

This seemed to make him chuckle darkly and he planted a harsh kiss on the side of her neck, very likely going to leave a spectacular mark as well.

When he pulled away it was just as sudden as his shoving her against the wall had been and all she could do was fall to the ground with an 'oof', feeling suddenly very, cold. Barren as if something was started but left undone. She saw him march out of the laundry and heard the door of his room slam.

"fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!" she finally groaned out after several minutes of utterly stunned silence with only the sound being the washer and dryer. God damn the… She didn't even know what to call him at the moment. Nothing seemed right in her head.

So instead she just got up on shaky legs and tore her way up the stair. Someone ELSE could deal with laundry!

Hope locked herself in her room until someone else got home. She had even gone so far as to push her dresser infront of the doorway. It likely wouldn't do more than by her time if Gamzee really wanted in.

She sat on her bed, legs pulled up and trying to calm the hammering of her heart. She was startled, she was scared, and she was suddenly very unsure of herself. That had been the worst set of mixed messages she'd ever gotten from Gamzee. Hope was so embarrassed, and angry and confused.

The worst part, she wasn't sure entirely if she had wanted him to stop…

000

Notes: *grins* OK yeah, not sure if this would 'up' the rating enough.. (what with all the cussing and violence) but well.. Yeah.. I can say I was beginning to wonder if this scene was going to get cut and put into the dabbles…

Anyway, here we go, another chapter.

I've gotten some FANTASTIC fanart, you can check it out on tumblr!

And thanks so much to my wonderful reviewers, stalkers and friends. You guys have been absolutely inspiring to this humble writer.

OH a picture of Tavros 'Jinglebutt' Newell can be found on the tumblr account as well as other sketches and bits of random shenanigans.