A/N: Wrote this chapter earlier than I thought I would and that was after rewriting it 3 different ways before settling on this one.
The reviews I got for the previous chapter were phenomenal. Thank you so much everyone who reviewed you guys are great and you're the reason this story has gotten this far.
Enjoy and review if you please.
The flight to Cleveland was short and uneventful. Jane and Julia had talked mostly about Frankie, as Julia tried to avoid the topic of Maura for Jane's sake.
Jane enjoyed conversation with Julia; they really had a lot in common. The thing she most enjoyed was how easy it was to get along with her. They would sometimes bicker here and there and toss a few playful insults. When Jane would do the same with Maura she'd usually just brush it off or look at her with an unamused expression. But with Julia, she'd always throw something equally as good right back at her. It was a new experience being equally matched.
Lately she'd been such a great help in everything from getting Maura and her together to encouraging her to keep trying. She realizes that if she and Maura do get back together, well Julia would be a lot of the cause. She knew when to be supportive, but most importantly she knew when to call the detective on her shit. She was a strong force to be reckoned with and Jane was sure that's what made her a great lawyer. But most importantly, in just a few short weeks, Julia had been stepping up to be exactly the type of sister Jane had always wanted and needed.
Growing up with a house full of boys and a nosey mother, there weren't many options to talk about some of the feelings related stuff she would go through. It's why none of them really knew about Allison. And yes, Jane doesn't normally do feelings talk and if she does it's brief and with Maura. But right now is one of those times she needs to talk to someone and have someone hold her up. And Julia has been there greatly. She only hopes that Frankie keeps her around because she can see how wonderful of a woman she really is.
When they get to the hotel it only takes about three seconds before Jane throws herself onto the bed with a huff. "Have I told you how much I hate flying?" She mumbles into the mattress.
"Hmm. I think a hundred times isn't sufficient so maybe you can tell me again." Julia jabs. "Seriously, it was only like a two hour flight, tops. What are you gonna do if you ever have to fly international?"
"Bite your tongue."
"I don't know, Maura seems like a worldly woman. Your honeymoon is going to take you all over the world, just watch."
"If we make it to a honeymoon." Jane sighs softly into the mattress.
"I have no doubt you will. She just needs time." Julia promises.
"Yeah." She nods.
"So what do you wanna do in this great bustling city?"
"Sleep." Jane mumbles. "Flights wear me out."
"Oh come on. Don't you want to eat or something? Explore a little bit."
"I could eat." Jane agrees rising up into a sitting position.
"Great. Let's go find some place tasty." She says excitedly pulling the detective off the bed.
They travel around the city and bicker about where to go before ending up at a small family owned pizzeria.
"Seriously? We're in a different city and the only thing you'd agree on is pizza, Jane? What happens if you go to another country one day? Are you going to only eat at McDonald's?" Julia gripes before pulling a slice to her mouth.
"It's good though isn't it? So shut up."
Julia just sighs and shakes her head. "You're not one for change are you?"
"No, not usually." Jane responds through a mouth full of pizza.
And Julia realizes just how different from Maura, Jane really is. And maybe that's what makes their relationship so great. Opposites attract and they clearly even each other out.
They enjoy a good lunch of joking and talking about sports before Jane is interrupted by her phone vibrating. She pulls it out and reads a text before chuckling.
"What's so funny?" Julia asks confused.
"Have you talked to Frankie?" Jane asks through a few more laughs.
"I called him after we landed while you called your mom." Julia informs her.
"Read this." Jane demands before shoving her phone towards the attorney.
"Don't steal my girlfriend while you're away. You being a homicide detective has taught me quite a few things about covering up evidence." Julia reads through her own laughter.
"My brother's an idiot." Jane chides while texting back to him.
"But he's my idiot." Julia assents.
"Yeah, well enjoy your idiot." Jane says before taking a sip of her drink. "So now that we've got food in us, what do you wanna do?"
"Maybe we should take a ride by the hospital and scope it out, then go back to the hotel and relax." Julia suggests.
Jane looks down and wrings her hands a bit before nervously agreeing.
When they get to the car Julia turns to Jane who's looking more and more anxious. "Hey, we're just going to drive by and find the cardiac unit and go back to the hotel okay?"
"Okay." Jane agrees.
As they pass by, Julia can see Jane's apprehension. She points out where they will be going early tomorrow morning before taking a nervous hand in her own and giving it a reassuring squeeze and driving back to the hotel. Once they reach the hotel room she begins her questioning.
"You're really nervous about this, why?"
"It's heart surgery, Julia. Wouldn't you be nervous too?" Jane asks as she lies down on her bed.
"I would, but not this bad. Are you sure you're okay with this? Maybe I should call Angela and she can make a flight in."
"No. I'll get over it, you know. I just didn't think I'd be doing it without Maura. It's a little frightening without her throwing facts at me every second you know?" Jane breathes.
"Maybe you should tell me about you guys. Like tell me some stories about some of the things you've done together. Get your mind off the surgery and on what's waiting for you in Boston when you come out of this." Julia suggests. This whole day she'd tried to avoid the topic of Maura, but she realizes Jane only really seems at ease when the blonde, doctor is around. So maybe keeping her mind on Maura with distract her and calm her down.
Jane just sighs and starts at the beginning. She tells Julia about their first encounter while Jane was working undercover as a prostitute which gets quite the laugh out of the counselor. She tells her about all the things they've done together. The best cases they've had. The worst. Hoyt. She even tells her about when she fell in love with her.
They call in dinner and just talk. Julia almost can't believe some of the things that they've done, but she listens intently.
By the time Jane has told Julia everything she's noticeably calmer and ready to settle down for some rest.
"You know I wrote her a letter." Jane mumbles from her bed.
"You did?" Julia asks.
"Yeah. I gave it to my Ma to give to her this morning."
"What did you say?"
"Basically everything I told you last night." Jane sighs. "I don't expect her to read it. And even if she does, I don't expect it to change things. I just wanted her to know how I felt. I'm still going to fight for her even if that letter isn't enough."
"I'm glad. You two belong together." Julia asserts.
"You think?"
"After everything you've told me about you two, I know." Julia affirms through a smile though Jane can't see it in the dark.
"You know, I hated you when I first met you." Jane admits.
"Hmm. Understandable I suppose. I did have your girl." Julia shrugs.
"Even then I couldn't really hate you though. You were too nice. You have this weird thing about you, like you have the bark and the bite."
"What does that mean?" Julia asks.
"You have this aggressive side to you which makes you a great lawyer but then you're probably like the nicest person I've met. You're a walking oxymoron."
"I'm pretty sure you're the same, Jane. You've got this tough persona but you're a big softie on the inside." Julia jokes.
"We will not make reference to me being soft ever again." Jane says seriously.
"Mhm. You can't keep it up anymore Jane. I've seen you around Maura and how you talk about her." She explains.
"Well she's special so she gets a special side of me. But don't be fooled, for anyone other than Maura, I'm all bite."
"See. You two are good for each other, you're both so different but you even each other out."
"Yeah. I guess you're right. I just wish she was here. I wish I hadn't screwed up." Jane admits sadly.
"So let's get some sleep and tomorrow you get that surgery and we'll get you all healed up as soon as possible so you can tell her that in person."
Jane hums her agreement before falling into a gentle sleep.
It's 5:30 a.m. when Julia decides to wake the slumbering detective. "Jane." She says quietly while gently shaking the brunette's shoulder.
Jane groans before rolling over causing Julia to roll her eyes and sigh.
Maura so help me if you don't take this woman back she won't know how to function. Two days in a row.
"Jane." She shouts. "Come on. Get up."
Jane finally cracks her eyes, sees Julia leaning over her and closes them again.
"Don't make me get an ice bucket." Julia scolds.
"I'm up." Jane mumbles while kicking the covers off. "Coffee?"
"No food or drinks for 12 hours before surgery. Sorry. Come on. We have to be to the clinic by 6:30 for your prep."
Jane finally sits up and rubs her tired eyes, breathing softly as reality hits her. Today is the day she is going to have her surgery and she is completely terrified. She dresses slowly, her mind on all the things that go wrong.
"I know you're thinking of every way this can go wrong right now. I may not know the facts like Maura, but I know complications are slim. Think about what could go right okay?" Julia says trying to distract her from the intrusive thoughts she senses are there.
Jane nods and continues getting ready while Imagining Maura being at the hospital with her.
When they reach the hospital they assign her a room, have her change into a gown and put her into a bed while they prepare her for her surgery.
Julia takes her hands that she's continually wringing together. "Don't worry. Okay? You'll be back here in a few hours and I'll be waiting right here."
Jane nods and whispers a thank you to her.
"I'm going to call your mom okay so you can talk to her and tell her how you're doing." She says preparing to remove her phone and dial the number that now comprises her entire call log.
"No." Jane shouts. "Call her after I leave please. I'd rather not hear her cry again."
"Jane, she's going to want to speak to you." Julia presses.
"Tell her the doctor came earlier than expected and I didn't have time. I just- I can't hear her like that again. Please." She begs.
Julia processes her request before agreeing hesitantly. "Okay. I'll call her when you leave."
"Thank you." Jane sighs calmly.
"Nervous?" Julia asks.
"More than I've ever been for anything in my whole life." Jane chuckles dryly.
Julia smiles and takes Jane's hand in hers. She continues her reassuring words to the detective trying to keep her calm before the nurses arrive, preparing to take her to surgery. Julia notices the spike in Jane's breathing at this point and she's sure that if she felt her heart right now it'd be hammering out of her chest. She gives the detective one last squeeze of her hand and a gentle kiss to her head, whispering "good luck" and "see you soon" before the nurses wheel her away. She watches her leave before calling Angela.
Before she can even get a word in Angela is speaking on the other end. "Julia! How's Jane?"
"She already left for surgery. I'm sorry but they prepared her faster than we thought and we didn't have time to call." She lies.
"Julia. Please tell me Maura made it." She demands ignoring Julia's excuse.
"Maura? What do you mean?"
"She left last night in her car to see Jane. She isn't there?" She asks worry evident in her voice.
"No. Why didn't she fly? Why didn't she call?" Julia questions beginning to become anxious herself.
What if Maura's hurt and that's why she didn't call? Damn why did I listen to Jane? I should have called Angela anyways.
"She wanted to surprise Jane and all the flights were full. She called me a little over an hour ago and said she was close to Cleveland."
"Do you think she's okay?" Julia wonders.
Seconds later she hears a familiar voice yell "Jane" outside the hall.
"Angela, I think I just heard Maura. I'll call you back."
If she was conscious enough to understand and describe how she was feeling, the only words that would fit are déjà vu. Coming into consciousness from anesthetic isn't like awaking from a slumber. No, because when you awake it happens in stages, kind of like a ladder. Each new rung of this ladder is like another step into awareness. But you never truly know what's real and what's imagined until you reach the top of that ladder. Every rung before is just figment. And once you reach the top, the ladder may fall as everything you've experience on those rungs falls with it back into your subconscious like it never happened.
But waking from anesthesia, that was like turning a knob. With each turn everything would come more and more into focus. Slowly and steadily your senses heighten and strengthen and solidify. And everything becomes more real.
This time was no different for Jane. With each turn of that knob she was becoming more and more aware of feeling just as when she awoke from her surgery after shooting herself. Just the same, she feels a burning, a sensation she was not aware of until it gets stronger and stronger.
But this time it's different. This feeling isn't pain. No, it's a feeling all too familiar. A feeling she tried to ignore for years on end, denying it and then hiding it. A buzzing, burning within her very fiber. A tingling at the source that surges and travels throughout before digging deep within her chest and speeding up the pounding of the sole muscle within. A tether that holds her down when she feels she's about to float away.
And as she comes more and more into consciousness she becomes all too aware of what it is. As the knob turns she pieces it together and understands and her mind forms only one word: Maura. And now it's a frantic fight within herself to awake and prove that this is a sleep induced from anesthetic. That the knob is turning and Maura will be holding her hand just as she is imagining now. Because if the ladder falls and the tether breaks so will her heart.
A twitch of her fingers confirms the hand locked within her own is there. And when it tries to retreat her mind begins to function and she clasps harder around it keeping it stationed. The sparks intensify and she's sure the hand in hers is Maura Isles'. And so she grips it tighter and tighter as her strength returns and begins willing herself to speak or at least open her eyes.
Finally she manages to squeak out the word "Maura" only to feel the hand in hers twitch and now she's even surer. And then she hears a familiar voice whisper "I'm here, Jane" and with it she falls back into a peaceful slumber, her hand still clasping Maura's with all her strength.
A/N 2: Just a PSA if I go missing for a little while: I'm going on a road trip for the DCI southeastern championships (Drum Corps, look it up if you like, it's like competitive marching band and it's amazing) this weekend so you may get a quick update this week if I can find time to write or a late update if I can't find the time. I have a lot of school work to do this week plus my job but I'll really try. In fact I'm going to start writing the next chapter now.