Hello, it is I.

I hope you all had a nice New Years, and that 2017 will be great to you all! I want to take a second to thank all you guys for reading my story until now and I hope that we could continue to finish this story to the very end.

Happy reading~

x

The doorbell jingled merrily as two people stepped inside. They were arguing like an old married couple and didn't even see me. I looked up from my work station, saw the visitors, did a double-take, and stared.

"Welcome," I said as a greeting. "Is there something I can help you with?"

It was Izumo Tenma from the flower shop, and this time, a teammate joined him. She also had the shinobi headband, along with cute pigtails and an accent I recognized as foreign. She shared the accent with the merchants who came from the Land of Hot Water during the winter season. Tenma immediately froze at the sound of my voice, while his teammate finally noticed me.

"Yep, we need our kunai sharpen'd,Tenma insisted'n comin' here," she said, jabbing a thumb in his direction. He flushed pink at her words. I got up from my stool and brushed my hands clean with a damp wool cloth.

"Thanks for coming; can I see the blades?" I requested.

The girl hesitated, but Tenma stumbled forward and hastily dumped a kunai holster into my hands.

"I've been taking care of them, I mean, polishing when I can, but I can't sharpen, so that's why I'm here, since you know, I don't know how to sharpen," Tenma stammered.

"Y'know how t' sharp'en kunai?" The girl asked.

"Yeah, and almost every other blade, so feel free to leave any other weapons," I supplied while examining the metal tips. I pressed a thumb against the the kunai edges without worrying about slicing my skin. They were very dull and battered, which told me either Tenma trained a lot, or he was lying about how much he took care of them. I didn't know him well enough to deduce which one it was; I was kind of hoping for the former, because I'd be horrified if the condition of these blades were the result of his 'care'.

"If y'say so," the girl said. She had a mildly doubtful look on her face, but she handed over her own kunai holster too. I was telling them the price and other banal details of payments and metal treatments when a third shinobi walked inside.

"Itachi!" Pigtails exclaimed. "Fancy seein' y'here!"

At the same time, Tenma grimaced and turned away from the newcomer, folding his arms with a stubborn frown. The difference in greeting was mildly amusing.

"Inari, Tenma," Itachi acknowledged. "Sensei is looking for us right now."

"Gotcha," Inari chirped. She tugged on Tenma's arm to drag him out, but they paused upon seeing that Itachi hadn't left the shop.

"Haru, I'd like to pick up my shuriken right now," Itachi said. I wordlessly went around my table to take out a pouch that carefully held shining sharpened throwing stars. Itachi took them and exchanged them with another pouch that he pulled out of nowhere. I peeked at the contents, raising a brow at the few dozen worn down shuriken. Itachi came periodically to Kenshin's blacksmith shop to take care of his metalware, but recently he'd been going through weapon sets like they were made out of wood, not metal. The rate at which he dulled the metal was a bit concerning.

"The Uchiha treasury deposit will send you payment," he promised. I nodded, taking a sideways glance at his fingers. They were wrapped with bandages, so I couldn't estimate the state of his skin, but I could tell that he was training as much as I suspected.

"Wait, you two know each other?" Tenma burst out. I personally didn't like telling strangers about my social relationships, and I didn't know what Itachi thought of me so I didn't know how to answer. Thankfully, Inari punched Tenma on the arm.

"It's rude t'ask about otha' people's affairs," she snapped. I liked her.

"Haru and I were Academy classmates," Itachi responded in his own brief, clean way. Taking advantage of Tenma's pained grunt, I finished explaining the business.

"The kunai and shuriken will be done in at least three days; payment is upon pick up," I stated.

As the three walked out, I heard Tenma whisper to his teammates, "Hey, if she went to the Academy, why's she working here? Did she fail the graduation test?"

I rolled my eyes at their backs, but hid a smile when Inari punched him a second time. I took another look inside at Tenma's kunai holster. He definitely was lying about his kunai. Without looking at the clock, I knew it was time for me to go home. I did a final sweep, performed a clutter and shelf check, wrote down my own assignments in a record keeping journal, and closed the blinds of the shop windows. Kenshin was in the workshop in the middle of a project, hammer clanging and fire burning.

"I'm leaving," I called out. Kenshin didn't speak, but waved goodbye.

I strolled past the other shops on the street, saying goodbye to the other shop owners and workers. One owner, knowing that I had two brothers, handed me two packaged sticks of glass candy leftover from a day of work. Once I got to the Yamanaka compound, my feet halted.

Non-clan strangers walked in and out of the compound all the time, but I frowned when I felt someone with Fu at our clan dojo. Fu only spent time with a limited number of people I could count on my ten fingers: his parents, my brothers and me, Inoichi's family, Shinju-soba, and the clan babysitter when any of the previously mentioned people were unavailable. My suspicions intensified when I further examined the chakra signature. The person was a shinobi, for sure, but their chakra felt like...oil slick. It was hard to get a grasp on the person's emotions and temperament; it made me feel uneasy. My legs strode in purposeful measured steps in order to reach the dojo without seeming like I was rushing. Stepping inside the training room, to my relief I saw Fu sitting, unharmed and appearing fine - but my blood ran cold when I saw the other occupant across from him.

Light grey hair, circle glasses, and black coal for eyes.

Kabuto. In front of Fu.

Oh, no, you don't, I thought murderously, and stalked over. Kabuto craned his neck when I got closer, but didn't budge from where he sat.

"Fu," I said sharply. "Inoichi-sama is looking for you."

That was a lie, and Fu didn't seem to detect it, but Kabuto smirked at me. He knew I was lying. I didn't return his grin. I didn't know if he was operating under Danzo or Orochimaru, but either way, there was no way he was going to get any closer to Fu. To my worry, Fu looked to Kabuto as if asking for permission to leave instead of simply listening to me.

"It was nice talking to you, Fu. See you around," Kabuto said. It sounded like a purr and I bristled at the fake smile on his face. The more I looked at him and felt his chakra, the more I hated him. Everything about him screamed of lies. His words were lies, his body posture appeared gentle, his chakra pooled and flowed like oil: opaque, fluid, always shifting - and never giving me a clear read on him.

"And take these," I said stiffly as I shoved the two brown candy bags into Fu's arms. I knew he would share them with my brothers. Fu left the dojo, presumably to find Inoichi, but I stayed where I stood.

"Hello, you must be Haru-chan. Fu talks about you a lot," Kabuto spoke smoothly as he stood up. He extended a hand towards me, but I didn't take it right away. Even though I wasn't particularly a stickler for the names and suffix rules, I didn't like how he skipped my formal name and went straight to my nickname, adding the '-chan'. I shook his hand slowly, immediately feeling an urge to wipe my hand on my pants.

"Who are you?"

Why are you here, why were you with Fu. Whose orders are you acting on. How much do you know about us. Why are you talking to me. What's your motive. Do you even have a motive.

Frankly, I didn't know if I could bring myself to consider him a human being. Kabuto looked about my age, which terrified me. This kid was unbelievably scary. So far, I'd been able to get some kind of read on everyone I'd met in this life. Normally, I'd be able to pin down something on even the most composed shinobi, like Shikaku and Minato, but I couldn't with this guy. Sure, I knew he was a slippery, lying, self-centered, manipulative freak, but he was also the best spy across the Five Nations. If I remembered correctly, he joined Root at a young age and started working as an agent before he even joined the Academy. I eyed his shinobi headband. He didn't deserve it.

"Ah, I'm sorry for not introducing myself earlier, my name is Kabuto, Yakushi Kabuto," it smiled.

I was proud of how level my voice sounded. "Yakushi-san, I don't mean to seem rude, but what are you doing inside the Yamanaka compound?"

"I helped an obaa-san earlier with her groceries; she lives here," he answered. I wanted to ask what he and Fu had been talking about, but I could ask Fu about that later.

"Okay, well, it's almost the late evening, we both should get home now."

He nodded at that. "Of course. I hope to see you again, Haru-chan," he said. I didn't respond to that and nodded at his direction when he waved goodbye, leaving the dojo. I made sure I felt his chakra signature leave the compound before I went to Inoichi's house. I'd have to face Fu and Inoichi to explain why I had sent Fu to him. Along the way, I juggled the half-hearted idea of making up a lie.

Nah, it's Inoichi.

But if I was going to tell the truth, how was I supposed to explain my unfounded suspicion of Kabuto other than the fact that his chakra was weird?

I sighed, wondering if today was going to be the first step towards confessing my secrets. Halfway to Inoichi's house, I switched directions and went home. I decided that I would deal with Inoichi and Fu's questions another day. Taking off my sandals at the entrance, I saw bags of groceries lining the hallway to the kitchen. Shinju-soba usually didn't buy this much in one go. There must have been a big sale at the market today; Shinju-soba loved discounts and steals.

"The twins or I could have helped you with groceries if you told us you were going shopping today," I called out.

"It's fine, a gentleman helped me," she answered from the kitchen. I froze.

"Was the gentleman a shinobi with grey hair and circle glasses?"

Her voice upped a pitch from surprise. "Yes, did you see him on the way out of the compound?"

"Yeah," I muttered and went to my room without another word, officially creeped out.

What did he want?

Eiji POV

Eiji liked ironies. He'd noticed that life was full of them. During their days as street rats, the baker would refuse to give the unsold leftover bread to them and chose to throw the food into the dumpster instead. Adults would refuse to impart spare change into Misaki and Isao's hands even though Eiji would find plenty of dull coins in their coin purses when he'd pickpocketed them. The neighbor's wife would boast about her happy home life without knowing that her husband had been committing adultery for almost a year. The ironies only intensified in number and extent as Eiji got older. Their patron had opened Eiji's eyes to the backroom of money, the corruption and almost laughable human indecency. Somewhere inside Eiji's mind, before he had yet been properly introduced to 'high' society, Eiji had fervently hoped that the upper echelons of society would contain some semblance of human dignity, moral principles, and noble causes. He had thought that the court would hold members who symbolized the will of the people of their country and village, great figures who swayed the hearts of the masses.

But this. This.

"This is so boring." Eiji heard Haru mutter to Misaki. She gave Haru an apologetic smile before greeting another face Eiji recognized as the boy who used to bully them before Eiji had set him straight a year ago. He turned a shade of pink at Misaki's polite hello, but instantly paled under Eiji's glower and, to his satisfaction, scurried away. The copper haired girl at the other side of Isao hushed Haru. What was her name again? Aoi? Kaori? Remi? How strange: Eiji rarely forgot names. Haruka, Isao, and the girl were of the few second-year Intermediate students from Konoha Gakuen to attend this event. Thankfully, that annoying, bratty son of a diplomat, Yuzuru, wasn't here. There were more students of Eiji and Misaki's age milling around, either socializing or actually doing work.

"You get used to it," Misaki whispered back, as if to make Haru feel better. He could tell by the persisting scowl on the Yamanaka's face that the assurance was ineffective.

Social functions were nothing like what Eiji had naively hoped for. Gossip, whispers, and unsourced rumors plagued the floor. Men and women tittered at the failures of some behind their backs while heavily praising accomplishments to their faces. Almost everyone was selfish, greedy, and self-absorbed to an alarming degree. The people he had fantasized came in such scarce numbers that he was tempted to believe that the Fire Nation was doomed. Grudgingly, Eiji would admit that it was most likely due to the shinobi's work that their land hadn't fallen into chaos. Everything reeked of expensive cologne and flowery perfume; Eiji now had a habit of holding his breath every time someone walked past him. He was sure he was going to develop lung problems if the suffocating stench continued choking him. Eiji saw so much silk, especially on the females. He never thought he could dislike silk (he had always wanted to buy the fabric for Misaki and Aiya), but the dislike was growing. Luckily, more people were dressed in heavier fabrics instead, due to the colder weather.

"Merchant Honoki," Eiji drawled. "How nice to see you."

A middle aged man passing by flinched when Eiji smiled crookedly at him. This was another irony: Eiji was young, only an orphan with a patron, yet this man was reacting to him like this. Merchant Honoki was rich, specializing in the spice and coal trade; he had considerably more power, experience, and influence than orphans with a rich patron. However, Eiji's patron was no ordinary man. Plus, Eiji imagined that Merchant Honoki's nephew, a classmate he had 'bugged', had passed on some unflattering words about him. Misaki and Isao surreptitiously left his side, as their usual protocol, dragging Haru with the girl whose name Eiji still couldn't remember. Eiji could feel Haru's narrowed gaze on his back. She found Merchant Honoki's reaction strange, he could tell.

"Young master Eiji," the man reluctantly said. "How are you doing?"

"I am doing well, thank you, although you don't have to call me 'young master'," Eiji mused. Merchant Honoki's eyes nervously darted around them, as though looking for someone.

"Are you searching for someone?" Eiji asked, acting indifferent. He knew exactly who Honoki was looking for.

"I heard your patron will be attending today," the man said with uncertainty. "My father on the board had extended an invitation, though I must wonder…"

Eiji smiled with false cheer. "He is. Actually, he should be along shortly."

Merchant Honoki's eyes bugged and he gulped. "W-well, if you'll excuse me, it was good to have it confirmed," he laughed forcefully and quickly went away. Eiji suspected that he was going to spread the word. A few seconds after the merchant left, Misaki, Isao, Haruka, and the Nameless girl, whose name he still couldn't remember, returned.

"What was all that about?" The girl flounced her curly hair. She did that a lot, Eiji observed.

"Pleasantries," was his clipped reply. The girl huffed, obviously displeased at the short and unsatisfying explanation. Then Eiji remembered: her name was Akemi. She was a bit of a spitfire at unexpected moments, and Eiji found her antics amusing.

"Where's your patron?" Haru asked. Eiji cast a sharp eye over the crowd surrounding them. His body and face reflected nothing of the agitation he expertly bottled inside. It didn't help that there were shinobi posted around the perimeter of the room; that man hated having shinobi around him. His patron was taking a bold, risky move to attend this board meeting. Depending on the person, the man was openly regarded with fear or distaste for various reasons and usually uninvited to these types of events. It was only because of the orphans' exceptional performance at Konoha Gakuen, and Eiji's bullying to pull a strings, that their patron was cautiously extended an invitation for this gathering. To say the man had been pleased was an understatement. Even though their patron was rich, he had never been socially welcome. Today was their patron's day to make an entrance to the scene. The man liked good entrances, and he liked being recognized. He was vain and egotistical in that sense, Eiji mused. It was a good thing, since it was easier for Eiji to manipulate him that way.

"Where's the Fourth Hokage?" Eiji returned.

"Busy. He let me come by myself, though, which I thought was a bit weird," Haru said. Eiji was still squinting at faces, trying to find his patron, when Akemi gasped.

"What is that man doing here?" she hissed. "There's no way the board would invite him."

They all turned and focused on the man she was talking about. Eiji was vaguely surprised that the girl knew who he was. He hadn't expected that the daughter of a snooty banker would have recognized his patron; their occupations wouldn't have let them cross paths too often. Shorter than average, middle-aged like every adult here, with unkempt brown hair and a thin mustache, the man appeared unremarkable. His boldly modern black suit served as the only physical detail that separated him from the rest of the crowd. Most of these people preferred extravagant traditional robes, so his simple colors faded against the colorful mass. However, despite the man's ordinary image, Eiji could make out the glint of cruel eyes under dark, circular shades and the baleful smile that adorned his face. He had that same nasty smile whenever he took over another drug ring, ordered killings, or found another target to extort money from. In another world, Eiji would have vehemently refused having any connections to the man, but in this life he wanted money and power and this man was going to give both to him.

"That's…," Haru struggled to speak. Her eyes went wide. "That's Gato."

Although his posture was already impeccable, Eiji's spine straightened even further, as did Misaki and Isao's. "Haru, follow me. I'd like to introduce you to my patron, Gato."

They left a gawking Akemi behind and approached the businessman. Once people saw who they were heading for, it was like the sea parted for them. More whispers erupted at the scene. Many people still had not known the identity of their patron.

Ignoring the commotion, Eiji bowed. "Gato, thank you for coming."

Misaki and Isao mirrored him, but to Eiji's concern, Haru didn't bend. The man eyed her over his shades, but otherwise ignored Haru's presence.

"Too many ninjas here, Eiji, why is that," Gato growled predictably.

"Security reasons: there are nobles from the royal court and other valuable trading men here," Eiji replied. "Sir, I'd like you to meet Nobuyuki Haruka, she attends Konoha Gakuen and is Isao's classmate."

Haru sent him a sharp glance at the use of her former surname, but shortly said, "Hello."

If they weren't in Konoha right now, Gato would have had men beat her for the insolence. That is, if she hadn't had shinobi training, Eiji corrected himself.

Gato looked at her. "Hm, and?" He prompted as if Haru wasn't there in front of him. One of her hazel eyes twitched at the silent treatment.

"Haruka works for the Fourth Hokage," Eiji continued. "She's civilian, but she's from a shinobi clan and has had training."

"Hmph, so that explains the attitude then," Gato huffed. "What use does she have if she's just a civilian?"

Haru stepped forward, opening her mouth to snipe a reply, but Misaki covered her mouth while Isao held her back.

"Haruka is familiar to many of the important political and military figures here in Konoha. Land of Waves is just a stepping stone to one of the Five Great Nations, and with Haruka, we can start with Konoha in a few years' time," Eiji reasoned.

"Long term plans take too much time and don't work. Immediate results are better," Gato sneered. "Whatever, take me to wherever that idiot Honoki is."

Before Gato could step away, however, Haru managed to wrestle herself out of Misaki and Isao's grip.

Don't, don't, don't, Eiji silently pleaded. He had worked so hard for this man to come to Konoha. Eiji needed Gato to approve of him and the orphans during the man's short stay here. For that, he needed Gato to stay in a reasonably good mood the entire time.

"Spoken like a third rate money monger. You won't survive in the trade if that's how you keep up business," she commented. Eiji could tell she wasn't very happy with anyone around her. She was angry that she had been kept in the dark about Gato and brought into a situation like this.

Gato's laugh startled everyone. "Everything is about the profits. Nothing else matters, little girl. Hasn't anyone taught you that in the snobby school, or was that your ninja senses talking?"

Not waiting for an answer, Gato turned away. "Eiji, bring Honoki here," he commanded. Haru didn't fight Misaki and Isao when they led her away, but Eiji knew that he was going to get an earful later.

"Nobuyuki, Nobuyuki… why does that name sound familiar?" Gato muttered. Eiji suspected the answer, but pursed his lips as he scanned the crowd for Merchant Honoki.

Haru had been disturbingly silent after meeting Gato. In all honesty, Eiji knew that she hadn't taken the encounter well, and he thought that she would bring it up once they returned to the apartment. So once they were inside, Eiji had been ready for the confrontation - but he hadn't expected it to start physically.

Haru slammed Eiji into the wall and dragged him down so that they were of the same height. Eiji winced when he felt the fabric around his neck pulling tight against his skin. Her fingers were forcefully gripping his expensive collar shirt. She was strong, he'd give her that. She had clearly kept up her shinobi training.

"Gato? Your patron is Gato?"

Aiya, Jun, and Isao shrank back when Haru's voice rose in volume. Misaki nervously fluttered between the two, trying to calm Haru down. Haru rarely raised her voice in extreme emotions, so it was highly unsettling. Eiji did nothing to fight back and only gave her a flat stare with his cold eyes.

No one else had shared his eye color other than his late mother, but now here Haru was with the almost exact same shade of irises and hair pigments. He was sure that Haru had also often thought of how similar they looked: they could claim to be siblings, or even twins once they were older.

"Don't yell, it doesn't suit you," he said frostily and pushed away her hands from his clothes.

"Why didn't you guys tell me that your patron was Gato?" Haru demanded. Everyone but Eiji looked away, unsure of how to respond.

"We weren't allowed," Eiji answered. "I was the only one who actually met him occasionally. Misaki and Isao had never met Gato until today; they all only knew about him."

Haru pinched the bridge of her nose.

"I should've seen this coming," she griped. "How did you even meet this guy?"

"I first met him at the pawnshop when he was touring the Land of Fire for some potential business monopolies, not that he was very successful. He stopped by the place during my shift - he wanted to pawn some stuff since he ran out of pocket money. He tried to swindle the owner, but I-"

"You didn't," she groaned.

"-called him out on cheating us," Eiji said. "He actually laughed at me. I guess I rubbed him good way, because he took a liking to me."

"I find that hard to believe," Haru declared.

Eiji shrugged. "Believe it or not, Gato's our patron. He's planning to adopt me once we're all ready to leave Gakuen."

Haru stared. "What."

"You didn't think we were going to actually stay in that school, did you?"

To her credit, Haru was taking this mildly well, but she still looked like she was going to punch someone. When Haru stayed unresponsive, Misaki led her to a chair and poured some hot barley tea for her.

"Haru? Are you alright?" Misaki asked. Jun and Aiya each tugged on Haru's sleeve. Eiji could see her eyes losing focus as she retreated inside her mind to sort things out.

Isao patted her cheek. "Haru, something wrong?"

Haru blinked and sharply inhaled. "Shut up, I'm busy having an existential crisis," she answered snappishly.

Eiji snorted. "Again? This has to be, what, your sixth time?"

"Shut up," she repeated in a much more cold tone. "I have to go, but this isn't over. I'll see you guys at school."

Haru got up and left their apartment in less than five seconds. The orphans turned to Eiji with worried expressions on their faces. Being on the receiving end of Haru's cold shoulder hurt.

Isao was the first to speak up. "Has anyone else noticed Haru's weird behavior lately?"

Yes. Ever since their first etiquette exam, Haru had been agitated and abnormally tense almost all the time. At Gakuen, Haru's classmates and peers usually regarded her with respect and admiration due to her charismatic facade, but the orphans have seen her fall into moods where she'd blindside students with some thinly veiled threats if they bothered her the slightest.

"What happened at the meeting?" Aiya asked in a small voice. Eiji sighed and shook his head.

"I'll explain later. First, let's get changed out of these clothes before I rip this tie off," Eiji suggested.

Shisui POV

Shisui cared for a lot of things. He loved his father and his clan, deeply cared for Itachi, and had a great pride in being part of Konoha. He also loved training, because each time he worked hard proved that he was getting stronger and being stronger meant that he would become a better shinobi.

He also cared for his teammates and his friends. He sorely missed his student days in the Academy. Those times had been fun and easy. Everyday had been interesting with their crew of Shin, Takeshi, Kenta, and Haru. He sometimes wished that he could return to those times when they were all still learning, not yet with official responsibilities, and didn't feel the political pressure as much.

Speaking of politics, where's Haru? Shisui mused as he walked through the Hokage Tower. It was the late evening, and people were bustling to finish last minute assignments before returning home. He couldn't see her anywhere, which was strange because she hadn't been at the blacksmith shop either. Shisui decided she must be at the Yamanaka compound then, maybe in the clan's flower shop. Even though he hadn't spent time with Haru often lately, her daily schedule was predictable.

The Uchiha flickered out of sight and landed on an apartment rooftop, almost two hundred meters away from the Tower. Shisui grinned at the distance behind him. He had always been fast, but his training was definitely paying off. At this rate, he'd be moving faster than a blink of an eye. Jumping down to the Yamanaka flower store, however, his mood dampened when he glanced through the glass window of the shop and saw that Haru wasn't inside.

Where is she?

"If you're looking for Haru, she's probably on top of the Hokage Mountain."

"Inoichi-sama! Nice to see you!" Shisui exclaimed, purposely forcing cheer into his voice. The jonin's abrupt entrance had startled him, but he retained his bright tone. Shisui bet Inoichi's gentle and seemingly harmless disposition deceived many in the interrogation cells.

"It's good to see you, too, Shisui, and you should hurry - it's getting cold and Haru doesn't plan her attire accordingly for the weather when she stays out unexpectedly long," Inoichi confided while taking a look up at the sky. The Uchiha raised an eyebrow at the small admission. It was almost night Haru should be home by now. What was she still doing outside in this cold season without proper clothes?

She must do this often if Inoichi phrased it like that, Shisui thought.

"Thank you, I'll bring her back home," Shisui announced and flickered out of sight. Using chakra to regulate his body temperature, he was able to ignore the cold air that blew past his hair as he whirled through the village and up the mountain. As he neared the top of Hokage Mountain, he spotted a figure sitting on a tree above the Nidaime's head.

"Haru?"

She didn't move from the tree. Shisui landed on the branch above her with the dexterity of a cat. Haru was asleep, skin red from the chilly air and body nestled into the side of the tree. Moving down a branch and crouching next to her, he absentmindedly wove a hand through her hair. Shisui remembered when he had a weird phase of wanting to touch everyone's hair in the Academy. Kenta's fluffy brown spikes had been his favorite. Shin, Haru and Itachi shared a very similar silky texture, though Haru's strands was more fine and thinner than the boys'. Shisui had never felt Takeshi's hair because the Nara had threatened to cut off a finger if he tried. The Uchiha had only managed to touch Shin's by sneaking up on the boy when he was sleeping during their Academy outdoor training camp.

Haru wasn't even shivering, but when Shisui brought his knuckles to a cheek, her skin was cool.

"C'mon, Haru, wake up," Shisui whispered and shook her shoulder.

A specific thought came periodically. It was a thought that had reoccurred multiple times, just a tiny whisper from the back of my head. It was harmless, it was small, it never really bothered me, but it was like a bruise that never healed. It was always there. I would forget about it for a bit of time, but when I felt it, I could visualize it like an ugly, blotchy blue and yellow mark on my conscious. I never took the thought seriously. I had always brushed it off because there was always something more urgent to be taken care of: I had a second life to manage. I had to make sure I wasn't getting killed. I had brothers to look after. I had to keep up what little face I had left in front of the Hokage and my shinobi peers. I had to deal with school and classmates. I had to focus on living. I had to pull myself together.

The weather is nice today.

But despite all my efforts and the universe's power to keep me occupied with this life, the thought remained inside my head and only grew stronger. What became a whisper became the thrumming voice of my subconscious, more forceful and threatening. Turning a blind eye only let the bruise grow bigger and more sensitive. I had suppressed it for awhile now, for almost several months so that I had hoped it was gone, but I was proven wrong one day when my feet took me to the top of the Hokage Mountain. I was supposed to go to the blacksmith studio today, but I had gotten distracted. I'd have to endure Kenshin's scolding tomorrow. My feet tripped over the rocky terrain, my mind too scattered to properly focus on the ground.

I let out a loud sigh, controlling the hiccups that threatened to rattle my breath. Rough bark scraped against my hand. I used to have hard callouses from my Academy days, but they'd softened into firm cushions since I didn't train with weapons as much I had used to. Looking down on the village from the Hokage mountain, I eyed the pleasant scenery around me with bitter eyes. There was nothing wrong with the view, it was nice - but just too nice.

I leaned my back against a tree trunk, legs dangling down a strong branch, and closed my eyes. It was still the middle of the day. The sun was out and there wasn't any wind; I had a few layers on, so I wasn't cold. Yet. The temperature would drop in an hour or so. The season hadn't changed into spring yet. Some birds chirped, and I heard strident voices from the market street in the village below.

Normally, the brilliant colors of a sunset would have helped me find appreciation in this life, make me feel more alive, give me comfort on certain dreary days, but I found no enjoyment right now. The beautiful view bursting with every warm color possible didn't affect me. I felt hollow. Maybe I had depression.

And then I shook my head. No one should do a self-diagnosis, it was dangerous.

Slowly, I admitted to myself, I'm tired, I don't want to live anymore.

Yes, I wasn't in the best state of mental health: I was tired, frustrated, and feeling empty, but at least I was calm. I wasn't going to act rashly upon these negative feelings. I stayed on top of the tree for a while. My fingers went numb from the chill and the shadows elongated. The sun went down.

The shadows expanded. At some point the evening turned into night. Though I vaguely noticed the drop in temperature, I was distracted by staring down at the village, trying to figure out if the figures were dolls or real people. I felt my body shiver, but I withstood the cold because I didn't want to go down the mountain and live out a life that made no sense. I didn't want to live anymore.

"Mom, dad, I'm tired," I said quietly. The colder it got, the heavier the drowsiness felt. Sleep dragged my eyes shut, and I faintly recalled Bato-sensei's warning in one of his lectures: never sleep in the cold if you're not properly prepared for the weather.

Sorry Bato-sensei, I thought as I felt myself fade into unconsciousness. I didn't even fight back against the sleep.

I was out for maybe thirty minutes, or an hour or two, when I woke up. Someone was shaking my shoulder.

"Who?" I mumbled and tried rubbing my eyes from the sleep. I grimaced when my ice cold fingers wouldn't uncurl from their frozen state.

"Easy, easy," a voice mumbled and warm hands covered my own. With a flare of chakra, someone began heating up my numb hands.

Who? I squinted at my helper. Curly black hair, a shinobi headband, and a Uchiha fan on the shoulder. My eyes widened when I recognized Shisui in front of me. I jerked back in surprise and lost my balance.

"Oh shi-"

Shisui's gloved hand shot out to grab onto my arm, and in the next second I was safely sitting on the tree again. Shinobi reflex was a gift. If Shisui hadn't been there, I would have at least landed safely on the ground, but his help was welcomed nonetheless.

"Thanks," I said. I sounded breathless. I needed a grip on my sanity.

"No problem. Let's get you home." Shisui smiled at me, though the smile didn't reach his worried eyes.

"Home," I echoed. "Yeah, let's do that."

x

I want to give special thanks to Jay and AlidaLynn for staying with me and supporting me for almost more than two years now. They've been so kind and patient with me and the little things they do keep me going.