Chapter 25
"Okay people, pay attention." Lee narrated. "It's endgame time; you all know I was framed for pulling off the biggest prank in high school history. Why? I still have no clue. What I do know, is there are kidnapped teachers, a secret government project, monsters, robots, robot monsters, and a chart in the brainwashing room that shows who's taking who to the dance. And I know who's behind it all. Two people; Principal General Barrage, Radcircles, also known as-"
"Knock, Knock." Lynch said appearing on Lee's computer.
"Lynch." Lee continued and her eyes narrowed. "My peanut munching ex-friend. What are you and Barrage up too?"
"Oh Lee, why can't you ever just say 'who's there'?" Lynch asked.
"Seriously dude, enough with the knock, knock jokes." Lee retorted.
"Sorry, Lee," Lynch said unapologetically, "I must be getting under your skin. I sure hope you're ready for the big dance tonight; it's gonna be a real shin-dig!"
"You messed with my best friend and tried to separate me from my boyfriend, I'm not gonna let you get away with anything." Lee said determinedly.
"Oh, so dramatic." Lynch replied. "Only problem, you can't stop what you can't find." He said laughing. "Let me write that one down, it's a doozy!" he said as his screen disappeared.
Lee glared at her computer screen, her thoughts turning darker. "Oh I'll find you, you can count on that."
Lee rolled her skateboard down the sidewalk urgently and once she reached the school, she caught sight of Zed on his phone. "Zed! Lynch, you seen him?"
"Don't know a Lynch, dudette." Zed replied before he grabbed his skateboard and took off.
Lee shrugged and walked into the school, seeing almost all the students on their phones. She walked over to Cyrus and the DoD band by the lockers. "You guys seen Lynch?"
"Lynch, never heard of him." Cyrus replied.
Lee slapped her forehead. "What? You totally have. You gave him a copy of the prank song, for Brandy's party? He was the DJ!" she said as they walked away from her. Lee crossed her arms and her eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Okay, something really weird's going on. I need backup." She said and saw one of the cheerleaders on the arm of a 15th grader. "You two, really? You guys seen the vice principal?" she asked, but they ignored her. "Thanks." She said sarcastically.
As Lee checked each hall, she heard Tina on the morning announcement.
"Good morning A. Nigma High, I'm-"
"Already taken fellas." Chaz cut her off and Lee raised a brow. What was he doing?
Tina looked at him indignant. "It's all in his head." She huffed.
"Hi, I'm Chaz Monorainian and yeah, I did just come back from a tanning appointment, thanks for noticing, Tina." Chaz said knowingly and winked at her, but she rolled her eyes in response.
"Our top story…" Tina said but was cut off again.
"The Chaz is working on taking Tina Kwee to the dance." Chaz said and Tina flushed.
"I already made my choice, remember?" she retorted.
Chaz took this in stride. "I stand by the decree that some outside force is the cause behind this." He said adamantly. "Seriously, our partnership was supposed to be cemented at this dance."
"Things change." Tina retorted. "In real news, tonight is the big dance, and except for in here," she said sending Chaz a frown, "romance is definitely in the air."
Lee's brow rose higher, Chaz wasn't that far off the mark, but she had to admit he was persistent. She hurried down the hall again and once she turned the corner, she caught sight of the vice principal on her phone. "Man, am I glad I found you. I know who's working with Barrage, Lynch! He's Radcircles!"
VP Victoria clicked her phone off as she looked at her. "Lee Ping, I hope you have a bathroom pass, young lady."
"What? Aren't you listening? The guy who framed me and tried to kidnap you is Lynch Webber!" Lee shouted.
"Kidnap me?" VP Victoria repeated as she pointed at herself. "My word. Why would someone want to do that?"
"What do you mean?" Lee asked confused. "The brainwashing, the top secret projects, missing teachers, tunnels under the school."
"All eyes and ears front and center!" Barrage shouted from the TV in the hallway. "The superintendent has come back for his final inspection. That means no phones; anyone caught breaking this order will be expelled…immediately. Oh, and I almost forgot; say goodbye to the dance. It's cancelled!" he shouted as the screen went blank.
"Oh that man!" Victoria said angrily. "Lee Ping," she said more calmly, "while you story is quite interesting, I haven't the foggiest idea of what you're talking about. Perhaps you should join a creative writing group. Now hurry back to class, I have a dance to un-cancel." She said and walked away.
"But…" Lee tried, but she gritted her teeth in frustration. "They got to her too, but how?" she questioned quietly to herself.
"Lee." Tina said coming from the other side of the hall.
Lee turned around hopefully. "Tina, something crazy's going on. You know Lynch, right?"
"Who?" Tina asked before her expression went angry. "Did you hear Barrage? No way is that monster cancelling the dance!"
"Forget the stupid 'save the rainforest' dance or whatever." Lee retorted. "This is bigger!"
"So my idea for the dance is stupid?" Tina questioned and crossed her arms.
"I didn't mean it like that." Lee replied rapidly.
Tina put her hand on her shoulder. "Well when you and Biffy are slow dancing and enjoying yourselves you can thank me then. Oh wait, you can't." she said angrily.
Lee winced. "What's with you? Chaz told me about how you two agreed to go out and now you're suddenly with Brad? Did you really choose him after all or what?"
Tina's expression became clouded and confused. "What?" she questioned and her features twisted uncomfortably, while her eyes narrowed in thought, but she shook her head before turning on her heel. "I don't have time for this."
Lee watched her go worriedly, and it was growing apparent that the chart in the brainwashing room was responsible for Tina's current state of mind about Brad.
"Cat fight?"
Lee whirled around and saw Biff standing beside the lockers. Did he just get there? "You could say that."
"I just did." Biff retorted with a smirk.
"What are you doing out of class?" Lee questioned.
"Same as you, looking for Lynch, but he's a no show." Biff replied.
Lee's heart lightened at Biff's words. "You remember Lynch? Finally, someone remembers." She said and hugged one of his arms, her eyes closed briefly in bliss.
Her moment was shattered as Biff pushed her away because of a laughing passing student. "Never do that again in public, ever. Lovey-dovey touchy feely is not something I want other people to see, it's a different story in detention. We can't let anyone know about us, do you remember that?"
Lee glanced down at the ground; her expression growing chastised as she had let her sudden burst of happiness override that reminder. But how could she forget when he kept reminding her of it? What was the point of these 'training' dates with Kimmie if she hadn't even tried to help him see little gestures weren't so bad? She was willing to try if he was.
Biff's voice brought her out of her thoughts as he continued on like nothing happened. "Wait, how can people forget who Lynch is?"
Lee tried to keep her voice even. "For some reason no one remembers him. It's like he never existed."
"Would the following report to 113 B," Chaz said on the intercom, "Camilio Martinez and Brandy Silver. It's me, the Chaz, tootles."
"113 B?" Biff repeated. "That's the crazy room where people go missing."
Lee's expression became thoughtful. "And those announcements, haven't we been hearing them all year?" she questioned as she recalled the various announcements that called students down to that room. "It's time to find out what happens when you get called to go there. Plus, we gotta warn Cam and Brandy."
"Uh, yeah, maybe Brandy, but not Cam." Biff said as his tone became suddenly annoyed. "You know, that way Kimmie can go with someone other than your weirdo friend to the dance." He said and Lee stared at him suspiciously. "Fine, okay. Man, I hate being one of the good guys."
Lee smiled briefly back at him, and they hurried toward room 113 B. It struck her as odd though that her boyfriend had got even more insecure about their relationship being a secret. Was it because they had taken to speaking on their computers to substitute for a real date and he was worried her parents would catch them?
These thoughts had to be put on hold as she saw Cam and Brandy about to go into the closet. "Cam, don't open that door, it's a trap!"
"So you warn Cam about a trap, but not me?!" Brandy demanded and gave Biff a slight eye evil, but she had at least kept her comments about him to herself.
"Bro chill, it's just some weird janitor's closet." Cam said.
Biff leaned threateningly over Cam. "Tell me Mr. President, how's Kimmie?"
Cam's expression became one of realization. "Oh, you're mad about that," he said and Biff cracked his knuckles, "I can totally explain that!"
"Hold up!" Brandy said intervening. "Me and her are going first." She said and pointed at Lee, who backed away slightly as Brandy walked over angrily. "You are like the worst BFF, ever. The dance is tonight, and you haven't even offered to go shopping for clothes."
'Yup, she's totally over me.' Lee thought. "I'm grounded; I couldn't even go if I wanted to."
Brandy waved the excuse away dismissively. "You could just sneak out, not like you have a problem with it."
"And I have no date." Lee replied and resisted giving Biff a pointed look. "What would you suggest anyway, that I go as a group with you and Cam?"
Brandy gasped and glared at Cam. "You told her?"
Biff cut in at that moment. "And he ditched you for Kimmie."
"Yeah, on second thought, why don't you guys settle this first?" Brandy offered.
"I can explain, please!" Cam pleaded as Biff pulled Cam into the janitor's closet.
Brandy looked over at Lee as she crossed her arms. "You and Biffy are an item, that's why I asked Cam."
"You've finally accepted him then?" Lee asked.
Brandy's expression turned a bit flat. "Don't push it."
"Dude, I don't even know why I asked Kimmie." Cam said from inside the closet.
"So now she's not good enough for you?" Biff demanded angrily.
"Nah, she's better than me." Cam replied.
Brandy straightened up suddenly and opened the door. "What? Better than you? And you dissed me?" she questioned and her tone grew steadily angrier. "Does that make me worse than you or something?" she demanded and Cam didn't come up with a reply. "Okay," Brandy said cracking her knuckles, "move over, I want a crack at him." she said as Lee moved into the room, only for the door to slam shut behind her.
Lee turned around and tried to turn the knob, but to no avail. "We're locked in. Wait, my key," she said taking the round key out of her pocket, "anyone see a weird-looking key hole?" she questioned before there were suddenly flashing green lights and the prank song started up. "The prank song? Guys? Guys! Biffy, not you too!" she shouted after uselessly waving her hand in front of Brandy's face. She still kept trying and waved her hand in front of their faces once more. "Brandy? Cam?" she questioned and began to snap her fingers in front of Biffy's face. "Biffy? I thought he couldn't be brainwashed?" she questioned aloud as she leaned closer to his face for inspection.
"Boo!" Biff shouted and Lee jumped back, startled and he began laughing.
Lee scowled and crossed her arms. "Not funny."
"Sorta funny?" Biff asked once he calmed down.
Lee rolled her eyes, smiling despite herself. "Fine, a little." She said before her expression became serious. "So, ready to find out what happens next?"
"Don't have much of a choice, do I?" Biff asked rhetorically. They both started to wobble when the floor began to lower. "We're goin' down!"
Lee and Biff hid behind the wall once the floor stopped moving and it dinged like an elevator before the wall opened up and they peeked inside the pristinely kept room that housed the chart of students and the giant eye robot. They ducked in as the eye-bot scanned Brandy and Cam.
"Welcome subjects," the robot said in a mechanized feminine voice, "Brandy Silver, and Camillio Martinez. Please exit." It said leading them away, while Lee took the opportunity to sneak in.
"Hey, hold up." Biff said as he followed after Lee and they hid behind a desk.
"Subjects, query: why have you not been answering your transmitters?" The robot asked.
"Broke my phone, bro, bro." Cam answered.
"I never answer blocked calls, I screen." Brandy added.
"Calculating solution." The robot said. "Issuing, new transmitting device. Unblocking call number." It added and pulled out two new phones.
"We should stop this." Lee said and attempted to stand, but Biff grabbed her arm and stopped her.
"Not until we see how it works." He whispered.
The robot floated back over to the computer and they ducked down. It plugged two cords into the slots where Brandy and Cam's pictures were side-by-side and their phones rang. "Hello." Both Brandy and Cam answered.
"I knew it," Lee said quietly, "they're actually brainwashing people through their phones."
"What's with all those pictures?" Biff questioned.
"I know; match-ups that would never happen in a million years." Lee replied.
"Hey," Biff said indignantly, "why are our pictures next to each other?"
Lee blinked, but quickly pressed on. "Something bad might be happening at the dance tonight."
"So if Holger's supposed to be going with Kimmie, why's she going with Cam?" Biff questioned.
"'Cause Cam's been using Holger's phone since he broke his." Lee replied.
"So it's not his fault?" Biff asked disappointedly. "I was so looking forward to beating him up!" he added and accidently knocked the contents of the desk off.
The robot turned around. "Security breach; initiate defense mode." It said and the end of the cords turned into buzz saws.
"I bet that hurts if it touches you." Biff said as one of the buzz saws sliced the desk in half and they both had to get out of the way and they rolled in front of the mainframe. "Dude, this isn't good."
"Alert: subjects to close to CPU memory unit." The robot said. "Commence safety protocol." It continued and put a cord into a plug on the giant terminal and a case surrounded the mainframe.
"It's brain! We gotta destroy it!" Lee shouted.
"I'm on it." Biff replied and knocked his shoulder into the casing, but he bounced back with a yell of pain. A cord shot out and Lee jumped, knocking Biff over as she collided with him and he looked up at a box where an axe was stored. "Keep it busy, I got an angle."
Lee nodded and ducked around the robot. "Hey, over here! Bet you can't catch me!" she shouted and was forced to dodge another cord that shot out at her as she saw Biff swing the axe at the case.
"Get this thing off my back!" Biff yelled as the robot turned its attention to him.
Lee looked around and found a box of Splat by the wall. She grabbed a can and shook it before opening it and throwing the can at the computer. It turned around as she shook another can and threw it as well. "Thirsty?!" she shouted and the robot began to fly a bit wobbly. "I've got it on the run!" she continued and saw it plug two cords into where Brandy and Cam's pictures were, and when they answered their phones, Lee gasped. "Oh no."
Brandy and Cam began to groan like zombies as they marched toward her and Lee held out her hands. "Stop! It's me, snap out of it! Uh, Queen of Hearts, Butterscotch, anything! Help!" she yelled and backed into the wall, gritting her teeth as she tried to think of a way out. Her eyes caught sight a stray can of Splat by her feet and she reached down to shake it and let the Splat cover both Brandy and Cam before running around them, can in hand.
Lee saw Biff break a hole in the casing and tossed the can under the robot, and it went right in, splattering the contents over the mainframe.
Biff chuckled as the mainframe began sparking. "Nice shot buddy."
"Emergency shutdown protocol in effect, wireless connection severed." The robot said and crashed to the floor.
"Um, how did I get here?" Cam asked confused.
Brandy touched her hair and scowled. "That better not be Green Apple Splat in my hair!"
"Who da team?" Biff asked as Lee walked over and he slapped her a little too hard on the back.
"Ah!" she shouted as she was knocked to the floor. She groaned as she got back to her feet warily. "We are."
"Yo, no way," Cam said looking around the room, "they brainwashed me again? I totally hate that."
"If we could bring Blompkins down here and show him all of this, it's over for Barrage, come on guys." Lee said and started toward the exit.
"Knock, knock."
Lee froze as they exited the room. "Lynch!" she said narrowing her eyes.
"Sorry, but you didn't say who's there, so I'm gonna have to penalize you for not playing." Lynch said pressed a button on his phone, and the Cleaners became active again.
The group yelled as they took off down the hall, Lynch's crazed laughter echoing off the walls.
"This way!" Lee shouted as she took point and ducked to avoid the crystallizer being shot at them. "Man, I really hate these guys."
"Worse than those killer robot Tazzs?" Cam asked incredulously, sounding like he was running out of breath. "Oh man, I'd rather be crystalized than shredded to death."
"Good point, me too." Brandy added.
"See, maybe we do have stuff in common, yo." Cam pointed out, and chuckled, but it turned into a scream when he and Brandy ducked to avoid being shot at as well.
Biff stopped and tore a grate off a vent in the wall. "Go, I got this."
"What?" Lee shouted in disbelief as she attempted to turn around. "We can't just leave you!"
"Come on, Chica, you heard the man." Cam said as he and Brandy both grabbed a hold of Lee's arms and pulled her the rest of the way down the tunnel.
Lee looked back, but could no longer see Biff as they ascended the steps, feeling like a traitor for leaving him behind. She'd just have to believe he could make it back in time as she scrambled for the key and used it to open the door that led to the secret room in the library.
The mechanized feminine voice sounded overhead as Lee, Cam, and Brandy went through. "Emergency lock in effect: override protocol."
Lee whirled around as she heard the wall begin to slide shut. "Biffy! No!" she shouted as she saw him running up the steps and reached out for him, but was pulled back before the wall could crush her arm. "No!" she shouted as she banged her fist on the wall and attempted to use her key to open the wall, but it wouldn't work. "Come on. Work you stupid thing!" she screamed in frustration.
"What is all the commotion in here?" A voice outside the room questioned and when the tile slid back, there stood VP Victoria, Barrage, and Mr. Blompkins. "Why is there a secret room?"
"I was trying to tell you that." Victoria said.
"Barrage! What are you hiding?" Blompkins demanded as Brandy and Cam's phones rang faintly.
Lee turned around and stepped forward after putting the key back into her pocket. "Barrage is hypnotizing people and a student is trapped behind this door! Make him open it now!"
"I assure you, this isn't a door, and this isn't a secret room." Barrage replied. "It's a study hall."
"He's lying." Lee retorted and looked to the other two students with her. "Guys, tell him it's true."
"Hm, I'm late for class." Cam said abruptly.
"Me too." Brandy echoed. "Oh, hey Cam, will you go to the dance with me?"
"For sure, Chica." Cam replied and they both walked out.
Lee gritted her teeth, not blind to what happened as she saw them click off their phones. "He just did that! He's hypnotizing people! You're the superintendent, you gotta stop him."
Barrage chuckled nervously. "This is Lee Ping, the funny prankster I'm sure you've heard so much about. There are no secret rooms or brainwashing going on. The kid likes to make up stories, don't you agree, Vice Principal?"
"Oh," Blompkins said in realization as he approached Lee, "Mr. Bad-Egg-Detentionaire himself, eh? Huh, the displeasure is all mine."
"I'm telling you the truth!" Lee said and pointed at the wall. "If you just make him open this door." she said and tried to push on the wall to give opening it another shot, but she slipped and sent a beaker filled with green goop all over Blompkins suit and she landed on the floor.
"Do you know how much this suit cost?" Blompkins demanded in outrage. "Barrage, I can see the only problem at A. Nigma High is one bad egg. And his name is Lee Ping." He said pointing at Lee.
"Don't worry sir, Ping will suffer." Barrage assured Blompkins.
"No, that's not what I had in mind." Blompkins retorted. "What happens to bad eggs, Principal Barrage?"
"They get egg-spelled?" Barrage guessed. "Isn't it a little easier to just make her really suffer really hard-like?"
"I admire your loyalty to your students, and to their suffering," Blompkins said, "but Lee Ping is gone for good! Expelled!"
Lee gasped. This could not be happening.