Brigadier General Arcum Sagitta calmly slid his bow back into his sheath. "There you go. I just killed him."
The woman beside him glared at him. "You couldn't kill a field mouse. You got your ass owned by Mordecai like maybe five minutes ago."
He glared at her. "It was a tie."
"Your ass got grassed. Stop trying to make it sound better."
The woman was Colonel Doctor Marie Winter, the professional surgeon of Bellum. She also had the routine habit of dissecting every opponent she fought, the main reason she was here. They were attacking Krieg so they could figure out what made him tick like he did. The best way was to kill him and tear him apart.
"You know, I'm not even supposed to be here" said Arcum coldly. "I'm supposed to be at the base right now."
"Well you weren't supposed to be trying and failing to kill Mordecai, so suck it" spat Marie.
"Ugh. I'm going now. You can tear the bastard apart if you want" he stated walking away. "I could care less if you even succeeded you bitch."
"Fuck you too."
She rubbed her hands together, clicking the various bladed apparatuses strapped to her gauntlets. "I'm going to enjoy seeing his insides."
Colonel Doctor Marie Winter: She Prefers Being Inside of You
BREAK
"Yo Lilith, that asshole's here" said Baskerville walking into the meeting room.
The Siren nodded. "Good."
Stanton Dahl walked into the room, his style and posture perfectly intact. "Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, Nicholas Vladof."
A man followed behind him, seemingly distant from everyone else. He appeared to be an albino and his hair went well to his waist in braids. He wore a simple black shirt and pants, with only a crimson cloak running down his back to make him stand out.
Nicholas Vladof: Off With Your Head
"Mr. Vladof, it's good to see you" said Lilith politely. She extended a hand to shake.
"Enough talk. I was told there would be violence" he replied bluntly. He didn't shake her hand either, but it was more like he hadn't seen it than ignored it.
"Hey asshole, no disrespecting the lady. I'll break your man-parts if you do it again" threatened Baskerville.
"While your threats are amusing, I am rather excited for this showing of slaughter" stated Nicholas blankly. "The notion of someone else doing a cruel and sadistic act that is better than what I can do is an interesting one. I thought my secretary was lying to me when she gave the message."
"Did ya impale her?" inquired the wereskag.
"No. Well, I did with my cock on her desk."
Baskerville burst into laughter. "Man, you said that shit without even breaking character! You're alright!"
"I really don't care what you think of me. I want to see this. I've been waiting all day for this."
Lilith nodded. "Of course. I'd hate to waste your time."
She pulled out a remote and pushed a button.
The table before her lit up and a screen appeared in the center. Aligning it to be facing Vladof, she sat back.
"Enjoy Mr. President, and tell me what you think."
He nodded, snapping his fingers quickly.
An aide shuffled over, carrying what appeared to be a long water jug of some sort.
Nicholas grabbed a small hose next to the device and inhaled something, smoke rising from his nostrils.
"A hookah? Where did you manage to find that?" asked Baskerville.
"I built it" he answered simply.
"Sick. Can I join ya?"
"Go ahead. I always have a few hoses to those who wish to share. Just shut up and let me watch my favorite program."
BREAK
Krieg slammed into the courtyard, his axe resting comfortably in his hands. His eyes were glowing red and his entire body was tensed up.
"WHAT MEAT SACKS DID YOU BRING TO ME TODAY?!" he roared. "I PROMISE I'LL BE GENTLE WHILE I BURY THEIR HEADS INTO THEIR ABDOMENS!"
"While that statement is nowhere near gentle, you are permitted to do what you like to those men before you" said Friedan deep in his subconscious. "I have let you take control only for this moment to take out these enemies. When this is over, you're going back in your cage."
"MASTER IS NOT KIND TO US AT ALL!"
"Of course I'm not you psychotic man-child. But have fun while you're out. I'll enjoy watching it."
Krieg laughed, spinning the axe. "MASTER IS VERY KIND! MY FINGERS WILL REST SO ACHINGLY SWEET IN THEIR EYE SOCKETS!"
"Whatever floats your boat bro."
The Bellum soldiers before him stared, their guns raised to fire. Obviously that hadn't anticipated him looking or acting like this.
Krieg threw the axe into the air and caught it smoothly. "COME ON MEAT SACKS! WE HAVE A PLAY DATE AND I'M A REAL WHINEY BITCH WHEN I DON'T GET THE BEST BARBIE IN THE TOY BIN!"
"That didn't even make sense and I'm scared."
The psycho sprinted forward, his axe eating at the ground.
The soldiers fired, but he absorbed the bullets as if he was eating them.
"YOU ATE THE LAST POTATO CHIP! NOW I'M GOING TO FUCKING EAT YOU AND SEE HOW YOU FUCKING LIKE IT!" roared Krieg swinging.
His axe cut clean through the soldiers like they were butter. They screamed in agony, enticing him further.
"YES SCREAM FOR ME PUPPY-KINS! LET ME DRINK THE AUDIBLE FORM OF YOUR DEEPEST AGONY AND LOVE!"
He got shot in the face, but calmly munched on the bullet that had landed in his mouth.
"YOU TASTE DELICIOUS! LIKE A PLETHORA OF BACON AND POWDERED DONUTS, ALL ECSTATICALLY ROLLING OVER MY SALTY TONGUE!"
"Man, I never realized how much of a freaking idiot I sounded like when I said this stuff" murmured Freidan. "Though it is kinda funny in an odd way."
Then something sliced into Krieg's torso, stopping him dead.
"What's this? A challenge from a worthy opponent?"
The psycho leaped backwards, looking around. All of the soldiers had died, but there was someone new standing in front of him. It was a woman, one wearing a long black cloak over her body. Her eyes were a deep shining green, beautiful orbs in her skull.
"Those big eyes…" began Krieg, for once losing his scream.
"Just like THE STUPID WHORE WHO TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTION FIGURE!" screamed Krieg.
"Well that was fun while it lasted" muttered Freidan.
The woman blocked his swing with her gauntlets, which looked like they were made of blades. She grinned, seemingly returning the one Krieg was giving her.
"You're far more handsome than I imagined" she said calmly, not even bothered by his heavy panting and mad eyes.
"YOUR COMMENTS AND SUPPORT ARE APPRECIATED! WE TRY OUR HARDEST TO PUT OUT AN EFFECTIVE MURDER PRODUCT AND ARE PRIVILEGED TO HAVE YOU HERE AT THE END OF THIS AXE!" yelled Krieg.
"Damn. That was almost a compliment" noted Freidan. "Maybe he'll make a habit of saying things like that. Oh wait, he tried to decapitate her. Let's hope he doesn't make a habit of it."
Marie Winter sliced into his stomach, hitting to at least the muscles with what felt like a hacksaw.
"Your muscle tissue is so dense. It's truly a perfect specimen" she murmured observantly.
Krieg grabbed her by the throat and punched her in the mouth.
"HAVE YOU TRIED OUR OTHER PRODUCTS!? THE LUNGS AND LIVER AND KIDNEYS AND CUTICLES!? THEY ARE ALL 5-STAR RATED AND ARE EVEN BETTER THAN THE MUSCLES!"
"Hmm. Indeed. Let's try the kidney."
She stabbed him with her hand, cutting clean through his side.
"Oh shit!" shouted Freidan. "She didn't just strike a lethal wound! That's not good…"
Krieg grunted, his eyes widening even further. He felt the blood pour onto his skin.
"I want more…" he whispered quietly.
He grabbed Marie and slashed her across the chest. "MORE! MORE! MORE! GIVE ME YOUR SWEET CRIMSON STRAWBERRY-FLAVORED CANDY! I DON'T CARE IF THE SUGAR IS HIGH FRUCTOSE SYRUP AND THE RED DYE CAN ROT OUT MY EYES, I WANT MORE OF IT!"
"Oh God, she got him excited" muttered Freidan. "She's going to die violently now."
The woman chuckled, blocking the frantic strikes the psycho was making. She wasn't bothered by her wounds at all, which were obviously healing underneath her clothes. It sounded like something was stitching her together, like the sounds clothe makes when it's being sewn and rubbed together.
She raised a hand and grabbed Krieg by the throat.
Suddenly a black thread flew from her gauntlet and stabbed him through the neck, punching clean through it.
The thread flared back and sewed through, making a perfect loop like a noose.
"Now die!" she roared tugging it.
She stopped, her arm having lost all functions. "What?! Why can't I move it?!"
Then Marie's eyes widened. Krieg was gripping her arm so hard he was literally crushing the bones together. She couldn't move it even if she tried.
"THIS ARM IS MINE NOW!" yelled Krieg ripping it clean off her body.
The doctor screamed in pain and clutched at the bloody stump where her elbow used to be.
"Damn. She totally deserved it, but still…"
Krieg raised the forearm above his head, letting the blood pour into the filter of his mask. Slopping sounds could be heard as he apparently began to drink her gore.
"You taste so good pretty lady" he whispered.
He crushed her arm in his fist. "I WANT MORE OF IT!"
She snarled at him, raising her one good arm. "Bring it shithead! I'm going to tear you to pieces! I want to hear you scream in pain while I dissect your body!"
"Such naughty thoughts" taunted Friedan from inside his subconscious. "Krieg, go all out."
"RIGHT JIMMY CRICKET!" roared Krieg.
"Uh…okay?"
The psycho grabbed his mask and ripped it off, letting his mouth free. He grinned at her, his teeth all jagged. It was apparent he had many wounds to his mouth before, since his jaw was covered in scars.
He leaped forward and began swinging rapidly, seemingly having lost control. It was like having a direct line of oxygen was now making him faster and stronger.
Marie kept dodging, trying to find a space for her to attack. It was nearly impossible to even get close. He was more of an animal than before.
She punched forward, slicing him clean in the face.
Krieg didn't even flinch and kept rushing forward, his face pressing dangerously close to her own.
Than he bit down on her neck hard, digging his jagged teeth into her skin.
She screamed and sliced him across the back of the head.
The psycho let go of her and slashed her again in the chest. Now he had completely forgone words and was fully concentrated on slaughtering her.
She slapped him with her gauntlet and cut him underneath the right eye. He grinned in response and backhanded her.
Marie stumbled and Krieg grabbed her by the one arm.
"Tear it off" ordered Friedan.
Suddenly an arrow sailed into his chest, piercing a lung at least.
Krieg whirled and stared at his other opponent.
Brigadier General Arcum Sagitta stared right back, firing off more arrows.
The psycho grunted in pain and fell onto his knees, finally getting close to dying.
"Shit, shit, shit. Get up Krieg" urged Freidan.
"Shut up…Jimmy Cricket…" replied Krieg. "I'm…tired."
"Marie, you idiot" spat Arcum walking over to her. 'You let that psycho tear off your arm and he nearly got the other one."
"Shut it you stupid archer!" she yelled. She stood up, holding her wounds. "Let me cut him again."
"Nonsense. We got called back."
"You're joking!"
"No. Our grand General must see us."
"Fuck him! I'm killing this specimen!"
He grabbed her roughly. "Shut up bitch. We are ordered. We follow orders. Especially you. Or should I tell him how badly he kicked your ass?"
"You wouldn't!" she exclaimed panicked. "I'd get kicked out with a bullet between my eyes! Please don't tell him!"
"I won't. Besides, I think his friends are coming" said Arcum.
True to his statement, the four Vault Hunters appeared, all of them pointing guns at them.
"Back up assholes" ordered Dion. "Don't worry Krieg, we'll take over for ya."
"Nonsense" spat Friedan, having now taken control. "They were just discussing how they were going to leave."
"He's correct" stated Arcum. "I have no interest in any of you. I only want to kill El Cazador. Everything else is a waste of arrows."
"Bastard. You didn't have to shoot Krieg so much than" murmured Friedan.
"Force of habit. Now come on Marie."
The archer hoisted her on his shoulder, calmly walking back to one of their vehicles.
"I hope you can hear me Krieg" taunted the doctor. She grinned at him. "Someday I'm going to tear you apart."
"Bring it" responded Friedan. "My buzz-axe will be waiting for you."
BREAK
Lilith cut the connection. "So what do you think?"
She stopped, having not expected the kind of reaction Nicholas was having.
The Vladof president was smiling softly, like he was enjoying some freeform jazz. He was smoking the hookah, savoring every breath. He stared at the spot the screen had been, like he could still see the violence he had witnessed.
"Such fierce anger and cruelty" he murmured. "I haven't seen something that beautiful in so long. That takes me back…"
He leaned back in his chair, sipping on the hose.
"What do you want to discuss Miss Lilith?" inquired the president suddenly compliant.
"We want your support" stated the Siren simply.
"Is that man with the axe on your side?"
"Yes, he is."
Nicholas leaned forward, extending a hand. "It's a deal. Watching the violence he'll bring will be worth it."