Unexpected Detour

by Castlefan6

Authors Note: Thisis my AU version to a different outcome from the RISE episode in Canon. Kate left to deal with her demons, perhaps she wasn't the only one needing to come to terms with what life brought them all. This is a LONG Road but initial plan is to wind up CASKETT, don't push too hard it will take some time to develop plot points.

I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only

Chapter 25

Previously

"Sure Rick, Mom, PLEASE, you spent a night with him in a four-star hotel do you think I believe all you did was talk, besides, it's not my business, as long as you are happy. Oh, but Gary?"

"Yes Shane?"

"Like Rick told me about Alexis, if you hurt my Mom, I'll kill you, OK that's over let's have some fun" and up the stairs he went with Gary's bag, leaving the two standing with their mouths open in amazement.

Rick quickly covered quietly, "You have to love a young man who loves and protects his mother, but Gary…... He's serious and if he doesn't I will."

*****************************************************************************/

Beckett's Apartment

Friday (day before launch)

2:30 PM

The week had flown by, well at least for the Castle clan and guests, for Kate Beckett, not so much. She even had an additional session with Doctor Burke, trying to prepare for the book launch, knowing this was the end. Somehow the sense of finality was finally setting in and she became emotional. She had taken two personal days off, trying to deal with the issues that remained between her and Rick, knowing that after tomorrow night there would be no reason for any contact.

She thought about how she could salvage any portion of a relationship with him, in any form, just an excuse to have contact with him. Doctor Burke had warned her, that she should prepare for the worst-case scenario tomorrow, and not be surprised if as he put it;

"Mr. Castle treats you as he would one of the props in his book signing, it's his defense mechanism Kate. The hurt he felt is not going to be healed with one meeting, and if you are serious about your undying love, then prepare yourself for multiple rejections. There's no guarantee that he will ever forgive you, but chances are higher if you are polite in your pursuit."

She had thought a great deal about how or what polite pursuit even meant. This was them; it had always been just open your mouth and say what's on your mind, Castle certainly always had, or wait, that was her.

After the first year, Rick had totally changed, she had kicked him out, for touching her mother's case. He knew the consequences, and could have withheld the information, but he took his licks knowing what it meant. His apology was the sincerest one she had ever received, and to be honest, his actions did clear three cold cases back to active. Three families now had just a sliver of hope, thanks to Rick.

She had read Lost Hope three times, from yesterday till today, trying to pick out the nuggets that Rick somehow always buried from their work. This time, she couldn't find one blind reference to their work, as hard as she looked. She was desperate, and desperate times called for well, whatever the hell it took. She wasn't going down without a fight.

She grabbed her cell phone, and dialed a very unfamiliar number, 4 rings later, an exasperated voice answered,

"Gina Cowell here, how can I help you?"

"Gina, please don't hang up, it's Kate, eh Detective Kate Beckett, and I just need to ask a few questions, I won't hold you long I promise"

"Detective would these questions be on the record for official business, or for your private knowledge?

"It's just me Gina, trying to figure out, the last book, usually Rick hides at least one- or two-blind references to our work, this time nothing, did he submit the manuscript in any way out of the usual?"

"Kate, you know that much of the information you seek is privileged, and I am not supposed to say anything, like for the first time in his life Rick submitted the entire manuscript before he left with Alexis."

"He what? He was always procrastinating; he submitted all 28 chapters before he left? He would have to have written that in the weeks right after, eh the shooting."

"Exactly when he wrote it, I can't say but Alexis thought it was right after the time he sent her and Martha to the Hamptons, and he had a bad case of the chills for over a week, something to do with a freezer was all he would say"

"Oh God Gina, I know exactly when that was, thanks, was there anything else peculiar about this book compared to other's you have published for him, hypothetically that is?

"Well the first part was typical Rick, full of passion, hot, bantering then almost like a switch was turned, I had to send back chapter after chapter for edits, to bring more Rourke, or more Nikki, they were just like going through the motions.

I started making edits and he just emailed accepted almost like he just wanted to finish the book, and end the contract. He was bad with Storm but this was even worse."

"Well the ending at least gave the readers some hope, I mean he didn't kill one of us, eh I mean the characters" Kate fumbled

"I knew exactly what you meant Kate, I always knew he was Jameson, and you were Nikki, it was all I could do some nights to read another fucking love letter to you in the form of a book, but I shouldn't have worried, you had your own agenda anyway.

As for the ending Kate, I added that, Rick left him vanquishing in some foreign hospital and Nikki marrying the buffoon doctor. I thought he would fight like hell about the changes but he didn't argue, not even a little, it was almost like he just wanted this series done and over, the sooner the better."

"Yeah, I see what you mean, like he never wants to see me again after tomorrow so it can't come soon enough for him. I must have really hurt him much worse than I could ever have imagined."

"YOU THINK? Sorry Detective, I have to go, I have already said too much, far more than he would want you to know, Good Day" and Gina hung up.

Kate held the phone just a moment, anger building, then realizing that Gina had given her information she would never have figured out without her help. He wrote the entire book at one sitting, it had to be the day he left the precinct when Josh had sneaked behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

Rick was just being thanked by Agent Fallon, the Mayor, the Captain telling them he wanted to award medals, and then as they stepped out his mood changed as she drifted back to that day.

FLASHBACK (Courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com)

CASTLE

Hell of a day, huh?

BECKETT
Hell of a day.

CASTLE
You know, I was thinking... I was thinking maybe- I should go home. Get some rest. Long day. Goodnight.

[CASTLE backs away and leaves, leaving BECKETT a little confused.]

BECKETT
Goodnight.

[JOSH comes up behind BECKETT. ]

BECKETT
Oh, hey.

[They hug and BECKETT watches CASTLE walk to the elevator over JOSH's shoulder. CASTLE steps into the elevator and leans against the back wall.]

As Kate thought back, she remembered Rick's look, a look of total defeat, he hadn't even glanced her way, why should he when she was wrapped in the arms of another man. God, that must have been when he went home and started the book. The look in his face was second only to the day he left her hospital room, knowing she lied, knowing she heard but wouldn't acknowledge it, much less return the love.

Then when she promised to call him, and didn't for the month she was in the hospital and still in New York, he probably wrote the balance explaining why the loss of passion and even care for his characters, something that Rick had never done, even in his lesser works. After she left for the cabin, he could hardly function most days so the book had to be written before then so it had to be in that timetable.

No matter how much it was going to hurt, she had to make him listen to her, just as he had done the time, he investigated her Mom's case. She had to find a way, and the chance of finding any ally in the Castle home was as probable as picking the winning lottery numbers. Just as she was plotting how she could make contact with him, her phone rang.

"Beckett"

"It's me Rick Kate, I think*"

"Just hold on one God Damn minute, I met your terms, I met you when you wanted to meet, I listened to what you had to say, even when you touched my Mother's case and I threw you out, you came back I had the courtesy to hear every word you said without interruption and you're gonna give me the same chance.

If you wanted me to hurt like you hurt, then you succeeded, I don't think I have any tears left to cry, and I know, I know I caused it, and I have tried to tell you just how sorry I am, even more importantly I have tried to tell you I love you Richard Castle, you stubborn jackass, I have loved you for years and yes I fucked it up.

All I am asking is for you to try me, I think I earned that Rick, after all these years, I think I've earned at least a trial to earn your love. I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry some days I wish I were dead, but with my luck, I would be sent back as one of your groupies, and have to live a whole new life knowing I threw away the love of the only man, the ONLY man I am willing to walk away from EVERYTHING just to be with you, on your terms.

"OK now you can hang up or tell me what you wanted to tell me when you called, I'm sorry but I'm not." She rushed out, tears in her voice,

"Well, that was a mouthful, I guess I deserved some if not all" Rick paused,

"Then why did you call Rick?"

"Well before all of that I was going to say I thought we needed to talk, the first time left me empty and I think I didn't allow you the courtesy you deserved" Rick said low,

"Oh God and now I pissed you off again, and you don't want to talk anymore," as tears come into her voice

"Kate, I never said that, you asked me Why I called",

"So, do you still want to talk, I mean after all that?" Kate asked between sniffles,

"Well it depends who is going to show up,... Kate, or that crazy lady that just went off on me over the phone, Rick laughed for the first time in a long time

"Well you drove me crazy, do you know what it's like to be so in love with someone and there's no way you can get through to them, then when you do, they act like you're reading a phone book to them" Kate asked still worked up,

"YOU need to ask ME that question Kate, for four years I've been right here for you, trying to be the man you deserve, trying to make you love me and for you to notice me."

"You Jackass, why didn't you get mad, I only flirted to make you jealous, but you pull the old Noble Rick gesture and leave me with the jerks I was using, and yes for that I'm sorry as well, I should never have done that, but Rick….. Every girl likes to be fought for once in her life"

"Pack a bag, the driver is on his way, we're getting this settled tonight, and I can't be seen in New York, so pack a bag we're going up to the Hamptons to talk. The driver will be there in twenty minutes Kate,"

"Rick, I mean I*"

"Well if you don't want to, I can cancel the*

"You talk too much, I'll see you in a little while, Bye"

Rick walked back into the living room, he had a hunch that Alexis had been close enough to hear his conversation, but he couldn't leave without saying anything.

"Alexis, can I see you please?" Rick said lowly, as he headed back to his office,

"Yes Daddy, you wanted to see me?" Alexis said with the most innocent look she could find,

"I'm pretty sure you heard my conversation with Kate, but anyway, we need to talk this out and we're not going to get it done on the phone. I sent a car and we're going up to the Hamptons for the rest of today, I'll be back by 2:00 PM tomorrow if they start freaking out, the launch doesn't start till 8:00 PM"

"OK Dad, and Daddy, Be Kind, she really is trying and I think she really does love you, woman to woman in our talks I just feel good about it now. I'll take care of the guests, and Dad, Thanks for listening to your kids"

Kate Beckett was having a meltdown, what should she pack and in twenty minutes, at least he told her where they were going, so she grabbed some pant suits, a dress and light jacket, the essentials, an outfit that would let her walk the beach even if the temps were beginning to dip and managed to be packed and downstairs just as the driver pulled up.

David one of Rick's regular drivers took her bag and opened the door for her, but she was shocked to see Rick sitting about as close to the opposite door as possible as she entered.

She gasped, "Oh Rick, I'm sorry I didn't realize that you would be back here already, I mean, I, eh*"

"It's OK Kate, it's going to be awkward, and sometimes it's going to hurt, me and you, that's not the intention, but until we sit and finish one conversation we will forever be in this loop of fantasy, well at least for me"

"You're right Rick, we do need to talk, and I'll say this before we start, I'm not the same person that hurt you. I don't expect you to believe it, but once we finished our talk, I hope you can see two things, first I love you more than I ever knew I could love anyone,

Secondly, whatever I need to do, I know it's not going to be one kiss, one hug, one I'm Sorry and then it's all better, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes, WHATEVER it takes Rick, even walking away from my Mom's case."

"Well can we set some ground rules Kate, we have a few hours of drive time, and I would really like to have the worst of this settled before we get to the beach house?"

"What type of ground rules Rick, just tell me."

"Well first, and this is the most important, regardless of what I ask you or you of me, the answer given will be as truthful as either of us know. No more half-truths, no more innuendo, no more sub-texts in our conversation. I can't take any more lies Kate, I just can't."

"I agree, Dr. Burke and I are working on therapy to stop those from happening, and for what it's worth, I'm so sorry. I know you were afraid to ask things of me in the past, well you weren't sure if I was going to shoot you or lie to you, both hurt about as bad I have learned." Kate said sincerely.

"If you don't want to answer one of my questions, then just say so, no lies. I promise I'll do the same."

"Agreed, Rick, but I already told you I was an open book to you, nothing is off limits Rick, I mean nothing. If you ask something like how many men were there, I will reserve to answer with a range, no woman will give that away" Kate tested the waters,

"Very well, I can live with that, I really don't care that I wasn't your first, God knows you weren't mine, BUT the woman I enter into a relationship with now WILL be my last." Rick said in a tone so serious, it was refreshing to hear the adult Rick speak from the heart.

"So, what do you want to know Rick, I'm here, we have a few hours drive, no boys to interrupt us, ask anything."

"I think you know what I'm going to ask first, and if this goes off the rails, I'm sorry, I just have to know. Did you hear me at the cemetery, and if you did why did you lie, not only at first but well after you and Josh had broken up. Why, I just can't come up with a reason for you no matter how hard I tried?" He looked over her head so not to lose his nerve, but the sadness was in his voice, his entire being.

"I knew this was going to be the first question you asked, I"ll tell you why, as far as I know. Dr. Burke ended a session because of the lie I put into your letter, the part that I was afraid to be with you, I might have lost you. He called me out, I got pissed, and it took two weeks of cooling down to realize he was right.

When I first woke up in the hospital, I thought you had said it, I kept hearing your voice as I went from the darkness back to the light, but then I thought, it could be the drugs. I was going with Josh, by the way Rick, it wasn't the ideal time to tell me something we both have known for at least two years.

Still, it was my fault, when you came to see me, I knew then you had said it, and what was more heartbreaking, I knew it wasn't a confession to a dying woman, you meant it. You were strong enough, as Lanie said to tell everyone from here to New Jersey how you felt, and I was so weak I should have acknowledged it right away.

When you asked me about the gunshots, I should have said I remembered every second, because I did, and I never felt safer, maybe that sounds stupid for a cop lying on the ground with a slug inches from killing her, but it was the truth. You had me, no matter what happened, it would be OK.

I wish I had asked you for a few hours to tell Josh to take a hike, then have you come back to me. I hoped you would, boy talk about a stupid time to start following orders but this is on me, not anyone else, so I'm sorry. Did that answer your question Rick?" as she looked over, she could see the sadness engulf Rick, almost as if he were re-living the whole incident.

She didn't know what came over her, where she got the strength, knowing full well he could reject her at a flash, she scooted closer and took his hand, and whispered low, "I really am so sorry Rick, I wish I could replay it in real life, not just in my head, I know you have lived the hell I put you through, and I'm sorry."

Rick didn't pull away, which Kate took as one small step forward, he was still farther across the limo than she wanted, with her only holding his huge hand, she held tight enough he would have to shake her off if he wanted it back.

Rick cleared his voice, "OK, that sounds a hell of a lot more reasonable that the bullshit you had in your letter, I'm glad your therapist called you out on it, since No One, not even a guy who is as in love with you as I have been would settle for that as an excuse or reason.

Are you ready for the next question?, after a quick nod from her he asked what she knew he was going to ask, "You said you would call, you never did, I was left to think you had left the hospital almost a month later with Dr. Motorcycle Boy. Simple question Kate, WHY?"

"Simple answer, I was a coward, I had broken up with Josh, but I was in a place I hadn't been since I was a young kid, with a broken leg, I was broken, dependent on others. The fierce cop was now an invalid and afraid that once you saw beyond the bandages you wouldn't want me.

I've talked to Doctor Burke about why, it stems with my Ostrich syndrome as he calls it. For any crisis for the citizens of New York I risk life and limb, but when I face a personal crisis, or problem, I stick my Ass in the air, and head under the sand and hope the storm passes me by.

I make it even worse, by trying to hide it from those I care about by putting them in a fantasy I can control, especially you Rick, if I didn't hear you tell me Goodbye, in my mind you would be at the precinct waiting for me with your usual smile and coffee's just like always.

Like the Ostrich, I knew the storm would be brewing about my lie, so I buried my head, my entire self in a cabin trying to recuperate so I could come back to you. I left one huge and important part out, I never told you I loved you, or took the chance that you might still love me, even broken as I was.

I had lost everything you admired, the strong detective, the balls to the walls, never back down woman, all that was left was a cripple. Like I said, I was a coward, and I'm sorry for many things but Rick, I would rather die than know the degree I hurt you" tears were flowing freely now. Rick reached over, pulled her closer and dabbed her eyes with his handkerchief, and she thought she saw a tear in his own eyes.

She cried freely, as he held her, she laid her head on his shoulder, he didn't move, and it seemed for the first time in almost a year, she had a chance, maybe, but there was a lot more to talk about. The motion of the car, her emotions, or a combination of both lulled her into sleep, something she hadn't had much of lately. Rick gently adjusted her neck so it wouldn't be in a crick, laying her head on his chest, he pulled her in ever so gently and let her sleep as the sound of the tires on the pavement continued their lullaby.