Magic cats? This is another evil Blue plot!

gahhhh not funny

Disclaimer: Rooster Teeth owns Red vs Blue, guys. You'd have to be Caboose to think we do.

~•~

Night shook her head, "Whatever, back to the story. According to Annie, it was like a light surrounded her, a sort of rainbow. She saw four other cats staring at her. I saw part of it myself, just thought it was some sort of brilliant light show. Annie said it was like she had transported into another place, a world with nothing but whiteness. There she met four other young cats. There, she learned that she was special."

"Why did you stop? Oh no, is it flashback time again?"

"No, it was just for dramatic effect... Wait, flashback time?"

"Epsilon keeps having weirdo flashbacks to talking to some bitch named Galaxy."

Night shot her a glare, "Galaxy is not a bitch. But, about the story, it is where Annie met her."

"She's a bitch, Tucker's a bitch, everybody's a bitch."

"There were cats with unnatural colors; four of them. They talked, and Annie learned their names. Galaxy said that there wasn't usually a fifth cat like them. They talked for a bit, then sent Annie back to the edge of the river. That, was a very big mistake," Night said.

Okay, now it's flashback time!

"GODDAMN IT, NO! NO!"

"Wow, you don't need to react so much."

.:-:.

"Wait, what?" Epsilon asked.

"I do not know what name they have. I have never heard of such things," Galaxy said. "But I don't think there is much time to save her. They must have gone for her power."

"So, this Annie cat person is in trouble?"

"Yes."

"Why are you telling me this?" Epsilon tilted his head a little.

"I sense something in you, Epsilon," Galaxy padded closer to him.

"Uh.. What?"

"You can help," Galaxy told him.

"You say these things infect Annie's mind? Can take control?" Epsilon asked.

"Sort of. They rest in her mind, take her personality, and split it into many pieces, only one able to come out at a time."

"Doesn't that sound familiar," Epsilon muttered.

"Please, Epsilon. Help." Galaxy's voice almost sounded pleading.

"What am I supposed to do? Show empathy?"

"You know that's not it."

"I know."

.:-:.

"There was a flashback coming on, idiot. Would you like me to recite the first few lines to authenticate it?" Texas glared at Night.

"What are you talking about...? Maybe?"

"Wait, what, Epsilon asked. I do not know what name they have, I have never heard of such things, Galaxy said. Blah blah blah boring shit about how Annie is in trouble, why are you telling me this, I feel you have magic powarz, blah blah blah, fragments bullshit, help Annie pls, blah blah blaaah," she replied in an unwavering monotone.

"You mean.. How she came to have so many different personalities?"

"How is that in any way related to what I just said?"

"Because that was when Annie needed help, and I know Galaxy spoke to Epsilon about it."

"I don't care. Epsilon, stop having boring flashbacks."

"I can't help it!" Epsilon yelled at Texas.

"Do I sound like I give a shit?"

"Hey, you asked!"

"Oh, dear," Night mutterered.

"Addie should've been dead by now! What the hell is going on?" yelled Cecilia.

.:-:.

He took a step forward, the key brandished. "You can't open the door!" Addie moved to protect it, her arms outstretched as if she had become the melted chains. "I won't let you!"

"Then I'll just have to... Get rid of you." He took out a gun and shot her in the chest. She gasped and stumbled back into the door, disappearing and abandoning the equipment.

.:-:.

Another Texas appeared, clutching her chest. "I couldn't stop him, I couldn't stop him.."

"Does that mean you're all fucked?" Tucker asked.

"The Key-Bearer has come for the door.."

"Uh, yes I think." Texas shrugged.

"The Key-Bearer?" Tucker echoed.

"H-he shot me.." Addie fell over, unconscious. GiGi rushed to her side and did things.

"Hey, I wasn't around when Blossom locked the door. Maybe she made up some bullshit prophecy, cause Warriors." Texas rolled her eyes.

"What?" Tucker questioned.

"Warriors is this really long series about slightly magical feral cats. There's a bazillion prophecies in it."

Night's eyes widened, "Warriors? Y-you mean... Wait, series?"

"It was a book series. Written by several people under a.. Oh, I can't spell the bedamned word."

"Written? Uh.. You wouldn't happen to be thinking about, like, different Clans of cats, would you? That.. Live together?"

"Yes. ThunderClan, ShadowClan, WindClan, RiverClan, SkyClan, StarClan, and a whole bunch of made up ones from the huge fan base."

"You're-You're kidding."

"No. You can ask Blossom all about it, she's really into it."

"I.. Written.. My whole life is a lie.."

"Hey, so is pretty much everyone's here. The exception is me and Silver."

"You know, I used to be called Nightshadow," Night said. "Yeah..."

Blossom suddenly turned into a cat. "Well. I'm actually Blossombreeze, but then again I'm also dead so who knows?"

"Me and Snowstar kinda ran away..." Night said. "Snow had a lot more reason than me, though."

"Lemme guess, everyone wanted to murder you for some random reason. Or you're just crazy."

"Well.. I left because me and Snow are friends, I couldn't just have her away. Snow, though.. I don't know how she had kept her secret long enough to become leader!"

"Random magic bullshit, weird prophecy, stupid secrets that are mystically hidden, check check check, random made up clan confirmed. I think. "

"Well, Snow sort of murdered about five cats one night and got found out.. yeah, the other Clans weren't happy."

"Using uncontrollable explosive magic, flat out crazy murder insanity, or attacked while doing secret shit at night?"

"Uh.. No. She's part werewolf and dragon."

"Flat out crazy murder insanity."

"It's really insane. It's like a 9-year-old version of that Silver person thought of it."

"Cause she did, man."

Night shot her a weird look, "Anyways, Annie was broken down by unnamed thingies-"

"-Ghosties," Texas provided semi-helpfully.

"... Wow, the details are fuzzy.. anyways, you need Epsilon's help."

"I think we'll just wait for crazy murder bitch to kill Caboose," Cecilia said.

"You, know... I really don't like any one of you," someone said.

"GiGi hasn't even spoken. You can't hate her for nothing."

"Uh oh.." Night muttered.

"Hey, you guys might want to take cover, because Texas is an extremely bad shot." Cecilia ran off, disappearing.

"What the fuck is wrong with this place?" Carolina asked herself.

Suddenly, the other Texas who was on the ground's armor turned crimson and she began to get up. "I'm not going through that paragraph again, I'm just going to shoot her now." Texas walked over, and shot the other girl in the face. "That's for killing Blossom, you crazy bitch."

"Can someone get me some popcorn?" Grif asked.

"Here you go," Church handed him some. The popcorn instantly turned to ashes.

"Thanks.. Wait.. WHAT THE FUCK!?"

"I am not a reality tv show. Your popcorn will always be gone." Texas then shot the other Texases (excluding Blossom) and they each turned to air.

"Then get me OREOS!" Grif took Oreos from Church. They too turned to ashes. "I hate you, universe. Whatever, I can still watch." He sneaked a cookie in his mouth. It tasted like poison. "Blegh! What the fuck!?"

"I'm mean... Well, that's over and done." Texas slipped the pistol back into hyper-backpack-space.

How did you shoot all of them? You're half blind and can't operate a gun.

"They let me. Also, I can do what I want to make crazy bullshit end."

They. Wow, you must be the most specific person in the world.

"...Are we not talking about me killing the other aspects of my personality and returning them to my head?"

Even if they let you, you have worse aim than Church.

"It's a magic pistol."

Who cares.

"You do!"

..Shut up. Oh, look: it's raining Meta-butterflies!

"How lovely." Blossom ran off to hide under an overhang, screaming.

Aaaaaaaand one just pooped on you. No, wait, now three.

~•~

too lazy to write anything